Real Relationships with Cindra Banks

About Real Relationships with Cindra Banks

Most of us were never taught how to do relationships well. This podcast is about learning in real time. Real Relationships with Cindra Banks dives into love, intimacy, sex, communication, desire, emotional safety, and modern partnership as they really are…messy, evolving, beautiful, and deeply human. Hosted by a twice-divorced, neurodivergent, queer forty-something who’s explored monogamy, polyamory, long-term love, and helped hundreds of couples reconnect, this podcast goes beyond “just communicate” advice and into the real conversations that help relationships survive real life. From conflict and attachment styles to desire, conscious communication, FIFO relationships, evolving identities, and staying connected through busy modern lives - nothing is off limits here! Expect honest stories, grounded guidance, listener Q&As, spicy opinions, nervous system wisdom, and practical tools to help you build deeper, more conscious relationships without losing yourself in the process. Not perfect. Just real. Want more? 🧭 Free Connection Compass + coaching: realcindra.com 📱 Instagram: @realcindra

Publisher

Cindra

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

26 May 2026

Latest episode

16 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

18 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   16 Oct 2026

   What Men REALLY Want When It Comes to Sex (It's Not What You Think) with Katelin from You Go Bro

   What do men actually want when it comes to sex, intimacy and connection? And are we sometimes getting it completely wrong? In this episode of Real Relationships, I’m joined by Katelin from You Go Bro for a juicy, honest conversation about the side of intimacy we don’t talk about nearly enough: the male experience. We’re diving into why so many men struggle to express their emotional and physical needs, what might REALLY be happening when your partner constantly initiates intimacy, and how couples can break the cycle of pressure, rejection and disconnection. We chat about: Why men need safe spaces to talk about intimacy, emotions and desire. The difference between craving sex and craving connection. Touch starvation and why non-sexual affection matters. How to navigate mismatched desires without making either partner the problem. Why emotional safety, privacy and trust are essential for vulnerability. How we can better understand each other’s needs without abandoning our own boundaries. Katelin also shares a little about her upcoming Men Matter workshops and the work she’s doing to support men’s mental health, identity and intimacy. Whether you’re a woman wanting to understand your male partner better, a man who’s struggled to communicate what he needs, or a couple wanting to feel more connected, this conversation is for you. Connect with Katelin: Instagram @yougobro (https://www.instagram.com/yougobro/) Want to feel more connected in your own relationship? Explore my relationship and intimacy coaching and free resources at realcindra.com (https://realcindra.com/). Download my FREE Connection Compass: beacons.ai/cindra (https://beacons.ai/cindra) Come say hi on Instagram: @realcindra (https://www.instagram.com/realcindra/)

2. 

   2 Oct 2026

   Lesbian Dead Bedroom: Why women stop having sex with women they love

   The “lesbian bed death” gets joked about a lot… but what’s actually going on when two women who love and desire each other suddenly aren’t having much sex? In this episode, I’m unpacking the lesbian dead bedroom: responsive desire, initiation and rejection, pressure around sex, the best-friendification of your relationship, and why a lack of sex doesn’t automatically mean a lack of attraction. Plus, we’ll talk about how to bring intimacy back without making sex another bloody thing on the to-do list. 🌈 Download the FREE Relationship Compass and find out what might actually need attention in your relationship: cindra-banks-canuli.subscribepage.io For relationship + intimacy coaching and free resources:
realcindra.com Come hang out with me on Instagram:
@realcindra

3. 

   18 Sept 2026

   How To Actually Enjoy Sex With Your Partner Again - Part 2

   What if you’re waiting to want sex before you start… but your desire doesn’t actually work that way? In Part Two of our pleasure conversation, we’re diving deeper into responsive desire and what it can look like in a long-term relationship. We’re talking about creating the conditions for desire, taking pressure and expectation out of intimacy, reconnecting with pleasure, and why not feeling spontaneously horny doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with you or your relationship. Because great sex isn’t just about wanting it more. It’s about understanding how your desire actually works and creating space for pleasure, curiosity and connection. Want to understand what you and your partner need more of in your relationship? Download the free Relationship Compass: cindra-banks-canuli.subscribepage.io For relationship + intimacy coaching and free resources, visit realcindra.com
Instagram: @realcindra 🎙️🔥

4. 

   4 Sept 2026

   How to Actually Enjoy Sex With Your Partner Again - Part 1

   What if the problem isn’t that you don’t want sex…but that the sex you’re having isn’t something you’re genuinely excited to have? In this episode, we’re talking about how sex can quietly become another thing you feel like you should be doing in a long-term relationship, and how to bring the pleasure back. We’re getting into responsive desire, pleasure vs performance, getting out of your head and into your body, figuring out what actually turns you on NOW, communicating what you want, and taking some of the pressure out of intimacy. Because the goal isn’t just to have more sex. It’s to have sex you actually fucking enjoy 🔥 Follow me on Instagram: @realcindra Download your free Connection Compass: beacons.ai/cindra to find your true north in your relationship (and the bedroom). Thanks for listening 🤍

5. 

   21 Aug 2026

   I Love My Partner, So Why Don’t I Feel Like Myself Anymore?

   You love your partner. Your relationship might even be good. So why don’t you feel like…you anymore? In this episode, we’re talking about what happens when you slowly lose connection with yourself inside your relationship. The resentment you can’t quite explain, feeling less playful, less alive, less interested in sex, and that uncomfortable feeling that something is “off” even when nothing is technically wrong. We’ll explore why desire is about SO much more than sex, how constantly prioritising everyone else can disconnect you from what you actually want, and the questions that can help you start finding your way back to yourself. Because maybe you don’t need a different relationship. Maybe you need to become more of yourself inside the relationship you already have ❤️ 🧭 Download my FREE Connection Compass to explore where you’re at across connection, communication, resentment + desire, and start finding your true north again: beacons.ai/cindra Come hang out with me on Instagram: @realcindra Thanks so much for listening. If this episode hit home, send it to a woman who might need to hear it, and follow the podcast so you don’t miss the next one ❤️

6. 

   14 Aug 2026

   You’re Not Having Sex. Neither of You Is Talking About It. Now What?

   You haven’t had sex in weeks. Maybe months. You both know it. You’re both thinking about it. But somehow… neither of you is actually talking about it. In this episode, I’m unpacking what happens when sex becomes the elephant in the bedroom: the fear of rejection, pressure around intimacy, the stories we create in the silence, and why even a cuddle can suddenly feel loaded. I’ll also share how to actually start the conversation without blame, pressure or making “more sex” the goal. Because maybe your lack of desire isn’t the problem. Maybe it’s trying to tell you something❤️ 🧭 Download my FREE Connection Compass to explore what’s really going on across connection, communication, resentment + desire: beacons.ai/cindra Come hang out with me on Instagram: @realcindra Thanks so much for listening. If this episode hit home, send it to someone who needs it, and follow the podcast so you don’t miss the next one❤️

7. 

   7 Aug 2026

   FIFO Isn't The Problem. Your Relationship Doesn't Have A Plan!

   This episode is for my FIFO couples and anyone who does long distance in their relationships. Take note! And I do FIFO too so I get it. FIFO is challenging, but it doesn't have to slowly pull your relationship apart. In this episode, I'm sharing why love alone isn't enough and why every FIFO couple needs a relationship plan. We'll cover communication, transition days, expectations, staying emotionally connected, and practical ways to create a relationship that feels strong, even when you're kilometres apart. If this episode resonated, I'd love it if you shared it with your partner or a friend. It helps more people find the podcast. Thank you in advance! And if you're ready to create a relationship that feels deeply connected, you can book a Relationship Deep Dive session at realcindra.com Love ya, appreciate you being here x

8. 

   31 Jul 2026

   Why You Fight About Household Chores (It's Not Actually About The Chores)

   Why do so many couples end up fighting about dishes, laundry and taking the bins out? In this episode, I'm unpacking why household chores become one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, and why it's rarely about the chores themselves. We'll talk about mental load, invisible labour, different expectations, resentment, and practical ways to work as a team instead of keeping score. If you've ever argued over housework, this episode is for you! If this episode resonated, I'd love it if you shared it with your partner or a friend. It helps more people find the podcast 🙏 a quick rating and review goes a long way too. Thanks so much in advance! And if you're ready to create a relationship that feels deeply connected, you can book a Relationship Deep Dive via my website realcindra.com. I'll see you next week ❤️

9. 

   24 Jul 2026

   Why You Never Feel "In The Mood"

   Have you ever wondered why you never seem to feel "in the mood" anymore?! In this episode, I'm unpacking one of the biggest myths about women's desire and why low libido isn't always the real problem. We'll explore responsive desire, mental load, emotional connection, and the conditions that help intimacy naturally return. If you've ever felt like something is wrong with you, this conversation might completely change the way you see yourself. And you’re not alone! If this episode resonated, I'd love it if you shared it with your partner or a friend. It helps more people find the podcast 🙏 And if you're ready to create a relationship that feels deeply connected, you can book a Relationship Deep Dive via realcindra.com I'll see you next week 💕

10. 

    17 Jul 2026

    We’ve Lost the Spark…Now What?

    Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered, “Where did the spark go?” If your relationship feels more like roommates than lovers, you’re not alone ❤️ In this episode, we’re talking about why the spark fades in long-term relationships, what actually causes that sense of disconnection, and, most importantly, how to start finding your way back to each other. We’ll explore the impact of stress, routine, resentment, emotional distance and the mental load, along with simple, practical ways to rebuild intimacy, connection and desire without chasing the honeymoon phase. If this episode resonated with you, I’d love it if you shared it with someone you love, left a review, and hit follow so you never miss an episode! If you’re ready for personalised support, you can book a Relationship Deep Dive with me via the link in my Instagram bio @realcindra. Together, we’ll uncover what’s really keeping you stuck and create a clear path back to the relationship you both want. Thanks for listening, love you x

11. 

    9 Jul 2026

    What Polyamory Taught Me About Relationships (Even If You're Monogamous)

    Ever wondered what polyamory could possibly teach a monogamous relationship? In this episode, I'm sharing some of the biggest relationship lessons I learned from exploring polyamory, and trust me, this isn't about convincing anyone to open their relationship! It's about honest communication, navigating jealousy, asking for what you need, creating healthy interdependence, and having the conversations most couples avoid. Whether you're dating, married, in a long-term relationship or somewhere in between, these are practical tools that can help you build more trust, connection and intimacy. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you shared it with someone you love, left a review, and hit follow so you never miss an episode. I appreciate you so much 🙏 Want to go deeper? Book a Relationship Deep Dive with me via the link in my Instagram bio at @realcindra. I'd love to support you in creating a relationship that feels connected, secure and genuinely fulfilling ❤️ Thanks for listening!

12. 

    3 Jul 2026

    It’s Not Your Hormones: The Real Reason Women Lose Desire

    Have you ever wondered what’s wrong with your libido? Maybe you used to feel desire more easily. Maybe getting turned on feels harder than it used to. Or perhaps you’ve found yourself wondering if something is broken, missing, or wrong with you. In this episode, we’re unpacking one of the biggest misconceptions about female desire: that hormones are always the problem. While hormones can absolutely play a role, they’re often only one piece of a much bigger picture. We’ll explore the hidden factors that can impact libido, including stress, mental load, emotional disconnection, resentment, body image, exhaustion, pressure, and the pace of modern life. I’ll also share why many women haven’t actually lost their libido at all. They’ve simply lost access to the conditions that allow desire to emerge. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by your lack of desire, worried that you’ll never get your spark back, or wondered why sex feels different than it used to, this episode is for you. Follow me on Instagram at @realcindra and if you’re enjoying the podcast, I’d be so grateful if you’d follow, rate, and review the show. It helps more people discover these conversations and create healthier, happier relationships ❤️

13. 

    25 Jun 2026

    It’s Not the Distance: The Real Challenge of FIFO Relationships

    Most people think the hardest part of a FIFO, military, or long-distance relationship is being apart. But what if it’s actually the coming back together? In this episode, I unpack one of the biggest challenges I’ve noticed in relationships where partners regularly spend time apart: the transition. And I am someone who is doing FIFO right now so you are hearing this first hand! From saying goodbye and settling into separate routines, to navigating expectations, reconnecting, and finding your rhythm again when you’re reunited. Whether you’re in a FIFO relationship, your partner travels for work, serves in the military, or you’re navigating long distance, this episode is packed with insights to help you create more connection, understanding, and ease in your relationship. If you’ve ever wondered why things can feel a little off, even when you’re excited to see each other again, this one’s for you. Follow me on Instagram at @realcindra and if you’re enjoying the podcast, I’d be so grateful if you’d follow, rate, and review the show. It helps more people discover these conversations and build healthier, happier relationships ❤️ Email me with subject line “FIFO waitlist” to be the first to access the FIFO Relationship Survival Guide!

14. 

    19 Jun 2026

    What happens when you don’t want to have sex with your partner?

    What happens when you don’t want to have sex with your partner? It’s one of the most common experiences in long-term relationships, yet it’s something so many couples struggle to talk about openly. In this episode, I’m diving into the truth about changing desire, why not wanting sex doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is broken, and the stories we tell ourselves when intimacy starts to feel different - AND how I can relate to all of this and have worked through it too recently. You are not alone! We explore the impact of stress, mental load, emotional connection, attraction versus desire, the pressure that often kills intimacy, and why honest conversations matter long before things reach crisis point. Whether you’re the partner with less desire, the partner wanting more connection, or simply curious about how intimacy evolves over time, this episode will help you approach the conversation with more compassion, understanding, and curiosity. Thanks for listening 💜 If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to rate and review the podcast, share it with someone who might need to hear it, and come say hello on Instagram at @realcindra

15. 

    5 Jun 2026

    What Dating a Professional Dom Taught Me About Intimacy (Part Two)

    Part two of this conversation explores some of the biggest relationship lessons I learned through the lens of kink/BDSM culture, consent, and intentional intimacy. We talk about: • Why play is essential in long-term relationships • How safety creates deeper surrender and connection • Boundaries, check-ins, and the power of saying no honestly • Consent beyond the bedroom • Presence, nervous systems, and why feeling safe matters • Why many couples don’t have an intimacy problem…they have a disconnection problem This episode is ultimately about emotional safety, communication, curiosity, and creating relationships where people feel seen, respected, and free to fully arrive in intimacy. Thoughtful, grounded, a little spicy and probably not what you expect from the title! Thanks so much for listening 💌 If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, share it with someone who’d love it, and come say hi over on Instagram at @realcindra.

16. 

    5 Jun 2026

    What Dating a Professional Dom Taught Me About Intimacy (Part One)

    This episode might sound a little spicy from the title…but the biggest lessons I learned from dating a professional dom had very little to do with kink, and everything to do with intentional intimacy. In part one, we dive into: • Why intentionality matters more than spontaneity • Creating space, anticipation, and emotional presence • The difference between passive intimacy and conscious connection • Honest feedback before, during, and after intimacy • Why great intimacy isn’t mind-reading, it’s responsiveness • Communication, emotional safety, and actually learning your partner This conversation is less “50 Shades” and more: How do we create deeper connection, presence, play, and honesty in modern relationships? A thoughtful, nuanced chat about intimacy, communication, and what many couples are missing! Thanks so much for listening 💌 If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, share it with someone who’d love it, and come say hi over on Instagram at @realcindra.

17. 

    26 May 2026

    Why saying “just communicate” isn’t enough

    Everyone says “just communicate” like it’s the ultimate relationship fix…but what if communication alone actually isn’t enough? In this episode of Real Relationships, I’m diving into why some couples talk constantly and still feel disconnected, misunderstood, or stuck in the same patterns over and over again. We’re talking emotional safety, nervous systems, over-processing, speaking at each other instead of to each other, avoidant attachment, presence, and the kinds of conversations that actually create connection. If you’ve ever walked away from a three-hour relationship conversation somehow feeling worse…this one’s for you. Find me on Instagram @realcindra 💖

18. 

    26 May 2026

    The Real Cindra

    In the very first episode of Real Relationships, I’m sharing the story behind the mic. I talk about my journey through sexuality, long-term relationships, divorce, coaching, couples counselling, self-discovery, sex camp, and the messy, beautiful experiences that shaped me into the intimacy and relationship coach I am today. This episode is an honest introduction to who I am, what this podcast is about, and why I’m so passionate about helping modern couples build deeper, healthier, more connected relationships that survive real life. Find me on Instagram @realcindra 💖 Thank you so much for listening xx

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Spotify

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

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