About Rebecca Has Spoken | Christian Relationship Advice for Women | Boundaries & Personal Growth
Are you a Christian woman who has trouble saying no without feeling guilty, second-guesses herself, overthinks other people's reactions or takes too much responsibility for how everyone else feels?
Maybe you know you need stronger boundaries but aren't always sure where your responsibility ends and somebody else's begins. Maybe you keep people-pleasing, over-explaining, staying too long in unhealthy relationships or ignoring your own judgment because you're so focused on keeping the peace.
I've been there!
For years, I struggled in relationships, people-pleased, second-guessed myself and learned painful lessons the hard way. Eventually, I learned that I was a codependent in need of healing.
My life changed after I matured in my relationship with Christ, did the work in therapy and learned how to understand and trust myself. As I healed, I became better at recognizing unhealthy patterns, setting boundaries, making wiser decisions and understanding what was mine to carry - and what wasn't.
Now I want to help other Christian women do the same.
Rebecca Has Spoken is for the woman who wants to heal what's keeping her stuck, grow stronger without becoming hard and build healthier relationships and the life she wants.
We'll talk about codependency, people-pleasing, boundaries, self-doubt, discernment, emotional maturity, dating and relationships.
Think of me as the big sister in your ear who's been down this road before and is here to help you get out of the weeds, get yourself together and build the life you desire.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Publisher
Rebecca West
Category
education · religion & spirituality · society & culture
The church has been lying to you about Christian dating and finding a husband! In this episode of Rebecca Has Spoken, I challenge the passive dating advice many single Christian women have been given and unpack what the biblical story of Ruth and Boaz teaches about marriage, reputation, initiative, and putting yourself in a position to be found.
I also share practical Christian dating advice on where to meet godly men, how to navigate online dating, and how to prepare for a Christ-centered marriage.
If you're a single Christian woman praying for a husband and wondering whether you should simply wait on God, this episode is for you!
13 Oct 2026
What God Told Me I Had To Fix About My Desire for Marriage
Are you in a waiting season, praying and fasting for marriage but still feeling anxious while you wait?
In this episode, I share what God showed me when I was single in my late thirties and thought I was doing everything right, and how it changed the way I approached waiting on God for marriage.
If you are navigating Christian singleness, wanting marriage, and learning how to trust God while you wait, this conversation on finding peace in waiting and preparing for a godly marriage will help you check your heart and reset your focus.
Press play to hear what shifted for me before I became a wife — and what it could mean for your own waiting season.
6 Oct 2026
Why Him Being A Christian Is Not Enough
Are you a single Christian woman navigating Christian dating and wondering if him being a Christian is enough for a lasting godly relationship?
In this episode, we unpack what it really means to be equally yoked beyond a shared faith label, and why so many Christian relationships still feel misaligned. If you are looking for practical Christian relationship advice that goes deeper than church attendance, this conversation is for you.
We talk through dating as a Christian woman with discernment, boundaries, and standards, including different definitions of faith, spiritual maturity, life purpose, values, lifestyle compatibility, and personality differences. You will learn how to stop overlooking good compatible men and start focusing on what actually creates alignment for marriage.
If you want clarity on being equally yoked in faith and purpose, setting standards without settling, and choosing a partner wisely in Christian dating, press play.
29 Sept 2026
Stop Waiting to be Chosen and Start Choosing
Are you waiting to be chosen in dating instead of learning how to choose wisely? This Christian dating advice episode is for you.Rebecca Has Spoken helps Christian women stop second-guessing and settling and start dating with clarity, confidence, and faith. In this episode, Rebecca shares why waiting to be chosen keeps you stuck, how she gave away her power of choice in her 20s and 30s, and what shifted before she met and married her husband at 41.
If you're navigating christian dating, struggling with red flags, emotions, or knowing the difference between wants and non-negotiable needs, this conversation on dating advice for women and relationsip advice for women will help you think wisely, guard your time and attention, and approach relationships with biblical wisdom.
Learn what it really means to date intentionally, why his interest doesn't equal obligation, and how to set Christian dating boundaries rooted in faith. Plus, a preview of next week's episode on compatibility.
For more relationship advice, dating advice, dating tips for women and Christian relationship advice for women, subscribe to Rebecca Has Spoken — new long-form every Tuesday at 7am + Shorts weekly.
You are important, you are enough, and you are worthy.
22 Sept 2026
Why You Should Stop Focusing on if He Likes You
Are you so focused on if he likes you that you never ask if you even like him?
In this Becoming a Wife episode, I break down why nice girls finish last in early dating — and it's not because you're too kind. If you're stuck in people pleasing in dating, over-invested and worried about his opinion while ignoring what you actually want, this Christian dating advice is for you.
We'll talk about what a nice girl really is in dating, what mindset to carry instead of pressure and anxiety, and how to stop chasing love by staying open without getting attached to the outcome.
Part of the Becoming a Wife series for Christian women learning boundaries, self-worth, and faith-aligned dating. New long-form every Tuesday at 7am.
15 Sept 2026
The Most Important Dating Lesson I Learned Way Too Late
The most important dating lesson I learned way too late: my real power was being willing and able to walk away. I used to be the Queen of Second Chances. I gave chance after chance and called it patience. In this Becoming a Wife episode, I share how learning the power of walking away changed how I approached boundaries, commitment, self-worth and choosing the right man — and how I met my husband 2 months after I finally did it. In this episode: why walking away is so powerful, how to tell the difference between being patient and staying too long, how to walk away when you still have feelings, and when taking him back is the right call. If you've ever felt powerless in dating, wondered how to know when to leave a relationship , or felt like you were being too nice in dating and repeating the same patterns, this is for you.
8 Sept 2026
I Thought I Valued Myself But I ACTUALLY Didn't
How do you rebuild your self-worth after unhealthy relationships, rejection or years of settling for less than you deserve? In this episode of the Becoming a Wife series, I'm talking about how low self-worth develops, why affirmations alone are not enough and how changing what you believe about yourself can change what you tolerate in dating and relationships.
If you're working on self-worth, self-esteem, boundaries, healing from unhealthy relationships, people-pleasing or preparing for a healthy marriage, this episode is for you.
1 Sept 2026
I Lost Trust in Myself to Pick the Right Man
Episode 1 of the Becoming a Wife series explores how to trust yourself again after unhealthy relationships, rebuild self-trust, regain confidence, heal your inner child and prepare to date with stronger boundaries and discernment.
25 Aug 2026
How I Finally Stopped Letting My Emotions Control Me
Emotional control doesn't mean becoming numb—it means learning how to feel your emotions without letting them control your decisions, relationships, and life.
In this episode, I share how I learned to manage my emotions, build emotional resilience, stop making decisions from fear, and process difficult feelings without being overwhelmed by them. I also talk about the connection between emotional regulation, healthy boundaries, self-abandonment, and unhealthy relationship patterns, and what Jesus teaches us about emotions and self-control.
If you're a Christian woman struggling with emotional control, emotional regulation, people-pleasing, fear of rejection, unhealthy relationships, or boundaries, this episode is for you.
I'm Rebecca, and I help Christian women break unhealthy relationship patterns, build stronger boundaries, and become more emotionally resilient.
New episodes every Tuesday.
18 Aug 2026
Give Me 12 Minutes and I'll Teach You How To Stop People-Pleasing
Are you a Christian woman who struggles with people-pleasing, saying no without guilt, or worrying about how other people will react when you make a decision they don’t like?
For years, I didn’t even realize I had a people-pleasing problem. I thought I was being accommodating, selfless, keeping the peace, or simply turning the other cheek. But eventually I realized something deeper was happening: my people-pleasing was often connected to a fear of rejection and a desire to control the outcome.
In this episode, I’m sharing what I learned about the hidden motivations behind people-pleasing, how it can become intertwined with codependency and self-doubt, and why constantly trying to manage other people’s feelings can keep you from being fully authentic.
We’ll talk about the difference between genuinely loving other people and abandoning yourself to keep them comfortable—and why learning to tolerate someone else’s disappointment is an important part of developing stronger boundaries, confidence, and emotional maturity.
If you’ve ever thought, I’m just trying to be a good person, while secretly feeling anxious about upsetting someone, this episode is for you.
In this episode:
Why people-pleasing isn’t always about wanting people to be happy
How fear of rejection can drive people-pleasing behavior
The connection between people-pleasing, codependency, and control
Why “keeping the peace” can sometimes mean abandoning yourself
How to become more authentic without becoming selfish
How stronger boundaries can help you stop second-guessing yourself
What Christian women should consider when balancing selflessness with healthy boundaries
11 Aug 2026
3 Ways To Stop Second-Guessing Yourself for Good
Do you constantly second-guess yourself, question your decisions or let other people talk you out of what you know is right for you? In this episode, I'm sharing three ways to overcome self-doubt, trust your own judgment and stand firm in your decisions without becoming arrogant, unreasonable or unkind. We'll talk about why you keep abandoning your own instincts, how to figure out what's actually right for you and how to stop over-explaining yourself every time someone disagrees. If you're tired of doubting yourself and ready to trust the God-given wisdom and discernment you already have, this episode is for you.
4 Aug 2026
This Is Why Your Boundaries Aren't Working
In this episode, I look back at moments in past relationships when I thought I was being strong because I was assertive, would stand up for myself and refused to stay quiet. However, my boundaries kept getting crossed and my relationships became a cycle of arguments with no real resolution. I unpack what was really beneath all that talking and what I eventually had to change.
28 Jul 2026
I Shrank After Heartbreak: How I Found Myself Again
After heartbreak, I thought I was healing — but I was actually losing myself. In this episode, I’m talking about codependency, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and the ways heartbreak can quietly change how you show up in relationships. If you’ve ever struggled with breakup recovery, boundaries, confidence, or feeling like you have to earn love, this conversation is for you.
21 Jul 2026
The Hidden Belief Behind Your Relationship Patterns
Why do you keep repeating the same relationship patterns with different people? Sometimes the problem isn't just who you're choosing — it's the unconscious beliefs shaping how you experience relationships.
In this episode, I share how I discovered the hidden “script” influencing my relationships, reactions, boundaries and self-worth — and what finally helped me begin breaking the cycle.
14 Jul 2026
How I Went From Failing at Relationships to Married at 41
How did I go from a string of failed relationships to finally married at 41? In this episode I share my personal journey through heartbreak and unhealthy relationship patterns — and what God taught me through that season about codependency, boundaries, and healing. If you've ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns or if it's too late for love, this conversation is for you.
14 Jul 2026
The Real Reason You Keep Choosing the Wrong Men
Why do you keep choosing the wrong men—even when you know the red flags?
In this episode, I break down the relationship patterns that kept me stuck in unhealthy relationships, including poor boundaries, insecure attachment, fear of abandonment, settling, and ignoring my own discernment. I eventually realized that learning how to spot toxic behavior wasn’t enough. I had to look at the patterns in my own choices and change the way I approached dating and relationships.
If you keep dating the same type of man in different packages, struggle to walk away from unhealthy relationships, or want to build better boundaries and healthier relationship patterns, this episode is for you.
14 Jul 2026
Codependency Made Me Choose the Wrong Guy For Years
Have you ever looked back at a toxic relationship and wondered, "What was I thinking?" In this episode, I share how codependency made me choose the wrong guy for years — and why being smart doesn't protect us from painful relationship patterns. As a codependent, I was the queen of second chances: ignoring red flags, smelling the smoke, and still walking into the fire because of people pleasing and a lack of boundaries. If you've been hard on yourself for staying too long or thinking you're responsible for fixing other people, I hope this conversation brings you clarity, healing, and hope. You'll learn how I began to heal, set healthy boundaries in relationships, and stop repeating the same cycle.
3 Jul 2026
Welcome to Rebecca Has Spoken | Real Talk for Christian Women
Welcome to Rebecca Has Spoken - a podcast for Christian women seeking healthier relationships, stronger boundaries, greater confidence and emotional healing through honest conversations filled with compassion without coddling.
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