Recovering Out Loud

About Recovering Out Loud

Sobriety you can actually use — from someone who lived it twice. I'm Anthony. I got sober in 2015, relapsed after 7.5 years, and rebuilt from zero. Now I'm an addiction counsellor-in-training sharing what actually works in recovery — not theory, real tools. Every episode covers the real struggles of staying sober: emotional sobriety, relapse prevention, identity, people-pleasing, shame, trauma, mental health, and the messy middle nobody talks about. If you're newly sober, years in, or supporting someone you love — this is your space. New episodes every week. Follow so you never miss one.

Publisher

Anthony Degasperis

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

24 Mar 2025

Latest episode

27 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

161 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   27 Oct 2026

   Are You Still an Alcoholic or Addict After Years Sober? The Label Question

   Do you have to call yourself an addict to stay sober? Here's what the label means to me. A listener sent me a DM that stuck with me: after years sober, calling herself an addict felt like it was keeping her stuck in a victim mindset. Did the label matter in my healing? Do I still need it? So this episode is about identity and the words we use — addict, alcoholic, in recovery, person with a substance use disorder, or nothing at all. I share the first time I said "I'm an addict" out loud (and why I mostly did it to fit in), why a relapse after years of sobriety ended my negotiation with the word, and why "alcoholic" can be true and still be the least interesting thing about you. In this episode: The difference between saying the label out loud and actually accepting it "I'm an alcoholic" vs. "I'm alcoholic" — a small word shift that helps some people Choosing where the label belongs: a recovery room vs. an HR office or a medical chart A name you claim vs. a name that gets thrown at you What a national US survey found about people who resolved alcohol and drug problems — and how many never identified as "in recovery" The social identity model of recovery: why the people you belong to matter more than the word Two things to try this week: the "and" sentence, and mapping your groups This is my lived experience, not professional advice. I'm not here to tell anyone what to call themselves. The label is a tool, not a verdict — own it where it helps you heal, and don't let anyone else pick it for you. Research mentioned: Kelly, Abry, Milligan, Bergman & Hoeppner (2018). On being "in recovery": A national study of prevalence and correlates of adopting or not adopting a recovery identity among individuals resolving drug and alcohol problems. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors. Best et al. (2016). Overcoming alcohol and other drug addiction as a process of social identity transition: The social identity model of recovery (SIMOR). Addiction Research & Theory, 24(2). Buckingham, Frings & Albery (2013). Group membership and social identity in addiction recovery. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 27(4). If this one landed, follow the show and leave a rating — it helps someone who's still struggling find it. Recovery is simple, not easy.

2. 

   22 Oct 2026

   How to Forgive Yourself in Recovery (Without Letting Yourself Off the Hook)

   Shame about your past doesn't keep you sober — research says it predicts relapse instead. If you've struggled with addiction or alcoholism, you've probably done things you're not proud of. Drove drunk. Stole from family. Said things to a partner you can't take back. In active addiction I pawned priceless family jewelry for cocaine and stole from my own sister. The question isn't whether it happened. It's what you do with it now. In this solo episode of Recovering Out Loud, I talk about forgiving yourself — and why that's a completely different thing from letting yourself off the hook. In this episode: Guilt vs. shame: "I did a bad thing" vs. "I am bad" — and why only one gives you something to fix A University of British Columbia study of 105 newly sober people: the shame they showed in their body language predicted relapse and how heavy it was, while the shame they reported didn't The three ways people respond to their past — self-condemnation, pseudo self-forgiveness ("it wasn't that bad"), and genuine self-forgiveness — and why only one works Amends, living amends, and how 12-step work (steps five and nine) clears the wreckage of the past Why self-forgiveness is a process, not a breakthrough day Try this: Catch a shame sentence ("I'm a terrible father") and rewrite it as a guilt sentence ("I missed his games for two years") The four-line write-up: what I did / who it affected / the value I broke / what I'm doing now that honors that value A living amends list for the amends you can't make directly The sponsor test: if a newcomer told you your exact story, what would you say to them? Say that to yourself. You don't have to forget what you did. Own it, repair what you can, and stop paying a debt you've already started paying back. This is lived experience and peer perspective, not clinical advice. If you're struggling, reach out to someone. Research mentioned: Randles & Tracy (2013), Nonverbal Displays of Shame Predict Relapse and Declining Health in Recovering Alcoholics — Clinical Psychological Science: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/journals/clinical/2167702612470645/ (https://www.psychologicalscience.org/journals/clinical/2167702612470645/) Woodyatt & Wenzel — self-condemnation, pseudo self-forgiveness and genuine self-forgiveness (overview): https://www.psychologytools.com/articles/self-forgiveness-what-it-is-why-it-matters-and-how-it-can-be-addressed (https://www.psychologytools.com/articles/self-forgiveness-what-it-is-why-it-matters-and-how-it-can-be-addressed) Wenzel, Woodyatt & Hedrick (2012), No genuine self-forgiveness without accepting responsibility — European Journal of Social Psychology, DOI: 10.1002/ejsp.1873 June Tangney — guilt vs. shame research, popularized by Brené Brown Need support in Ontario? ConnexOntario — 1-866-531-2600, or text CONNEX to 247247 (free, 24/7). Thinking about suicide? Call or text 9-8-8 (Canada). Content note: discussion of drunk driving, violence, theft, overdose deaths and grief. Strong language. Follow Recovering Out Loud so you don't miss an episode, and if this one helped, leave a rating — it helps someone else find it. Real stories. 🧡

3. 

   20 Oct 2026

   The Skill That Unlocks Every Other Skill in Recovery : Open-Mindedness

   Denial is a closed mind pointed inward — and nothing in recovery changes until it cracks. I was absolutely certain I could handle it. Certain I wasn't "as bad as those people." Certain I could take ADHD medication and still call myself sober. Certain, years into recovery, that I didn't need the things that got me sober anymore. That certainty is how I relapsed after seven and a half years. In this solo episode of Recovering Out Loud, I talk about the one thing I had to give up to get sober and stay sober: my own judgment. Open-mindedness isn't one skill on the list — it's the door every other recovery skill comes through. By the end of this episode, you'll know how to catch your mind closing — and what to do in that moment. In this episode: Why denial is a closed mind pointed inward, and recovery as unlearning old ideas The stages of change (Prochaska & DiClemente) — and how to tell which one you're actually in by watching your feet, not your intentions Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness: why 12-step literature calls them indispensable Being open to discomfort: letting cravings in without acting on them What the research says about psychological flexibility and substance use Why rigid, black-and-white thinking is part of the illness, not a character flaw More than one path: 12-step, SMART Recovery, medication, therapy and harm reduction Being open to feedback, and to a new sober identity ("sober people are boring" is a closed mind protecting the old self) Four tools to try this week: The ten-minute wait — name the urge, notice it, wait ten minutes. Don't fight it, don't feed it. The swap — catch "always" and "never" in your head and change them to "sometimes." Go once as a tourist — try a recovery format you've written off. Go more than once before you decide. Ask "What am I not seeing?" — ask one trusted person, then just say thank you. No defending. Research mentioned: Ii, T., et al. (2019). Psychological flexibility-based interventions versus first-line psychosocial interventions for substance use disorders: Systematic review and meta-analyses of RCTs. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 13, 109–120. Regier, P. S., et al. (2024). Factors associated with cognitive flexibility in people with opioid-use disorder: A pilot study. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 15. doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1505391 Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. — Stages of Change (Transtheoretical Model)

Who has been a guest on Recovering Out Loud

Names identified in recent episode analyses. Showing up to five guests.

• Ray
• Logan
• Allen Kharlip
• Girl Undrunk
• Fitness coach

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

YouTube views

134,511

Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.6 / 5

5 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

1,049 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 86 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

99

Social presence

0

YouTube

86

Engagement

96

Contact Recovering Out Loud

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

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