Relationships Done Different

About Relationships Done Different

Wherever you are when it comes to your relationships, what if there is way more possible?! And what if that starts with having a relationship with…. you! If you are ready to let go of everything you bought as true about relationships, join us for the Relationships Done Different Podcast . Conversations and inspirations to turn your relationships into creationships. Join our hosts as they discuss the insanity we can choose when it comes to relationship and how they all see relationships now very different using the tools of Relationships Done Different and Access Consciousness..

Publisher

Relationships Done Different, Access Consciousness

Category

education · health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

28 Jan 2022

Latest episode

30 Dec 2023

Latest episodes

33 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   30 Dec 2023

   Being A Caring Caregiver with Rudrani Devi

   In this episode, your host, Leandra Costa, talks with Relationships Done Different Facilitator Rudrani Devi about being a caring caregiver. Rudrani has never had to fill the typical maternal or caregiving role, but after her mother moved in with her during Covid, she found her world was turned upside down. After going through a period of exhaustion, resentment and weight-gain, she began to facilitate herself and created the space she needed to care for both herself, and her mother. Key points from this episode’s conversation Becoming a Relationships Done Different Facilitator Caregiving Done Different Coming into Allowance In allowance of you or of them? Setting Boundaries Breathing Through It Ask For Help Becoming a Relationships Done Different Facilitator In 2019, although Brendon and Simone had been doing Relationship Done Different classes, there was no such thing as an Access Certified Facilitator for Relationships Done Different yet. Rudrani really wanted them to create it, especially after reading the book ‘Relationships: are you sure you want one?’ She recognised that the tools were amazing and that they could create so much in the world, and she was a big believer that you teach what you most want to learn. So, what did she do? She snuck in as a host for a few of Simone and Brendan’s classes, and became a Certified Facilitator the very first time it was offered. Her life changed immensely by facilitating the classes, as did her facilitation in her role as a Relationship Counselor. She was able to marry her two roles - as a Certified Facilitator and as a Relationship Counselor - with her clients. For example, a participant in one of her Relationships Done Different classes was going through a divorce. After attending the class, the woman decided that instead of going through with the divorce, she and her husband would simply live apart, in their own homes, and date each other again. This arrangement may seem strange, but the relationship is still going strong today! Caregiving Done Different Rudrani is the caregiver for her mother, which is a complete role reversal of the mother-daughter relationship for them. Rudrani has never had her own children (although she prides herself on being the favorite aunt!), and has never had to fill a typical care-giving role. However, there came a point where her mother was no longer able to care for her home herself, and they began to discuss the possibility of her moving in. Rudrani thought it would be simple and fun as her mother was a go-getter and independent. So independent, in fact, that even after Rudrani renovated her home and created a private section for her mother, it took Covid hitting to convince her to finally move in. At that time, Rudrani was in the middle of hosting a Certified Facilitator Relationships Done Different class online, which involved being up the whole night (as Simone and Brendan were in Australia). She found classes at these times manageable when she was alone, but with her mother around, she struggled. Her mom moved in, got Covid, and Rudrani had to look after her. She was EXHAUSTED. She wasn’t in Allowance of anything, and she felt her life was suffering because of her mom. She felt she was being a bad daughter, and she put on weight (and blamed her mom for it!). Eventually, she recognized that she had to start facilitating herself and asking what she needed to be in that situation. Coming into Allowance Rudrani had to come into Allowance of how much her mom loves her trauma drama. For example, her mom is a piano teacher and when she was teaching, she would demand all sorts of programs and posters that take time away from Rudrani’s work. Instead of going into resentment and stress over these demands, Rudrani took a step back and decided that it was okay. She also looked at the 5 Elements of Intimacy, which are the basis of Relationships Done Different and every class she facilitates. It’s amazing what melts others’ and her own world, every time they go through those 5 elements. In allowance of you or of them? Rudrani had to be reminded of how much space she is for her mother. She had to acknowledge that she is that space, and even just acknowledging that was such an honor for her. She also has to ask herself whether she was that space for herself, as so often when people are looking after their parents, they lose themselves. She chose to be that space for herself. For example, she recently did a 3-month challenge after realizing her body really loved form and structure. She was weighing her food and working out, and this was taking time away from her mother. Her mom would demand attention but Rudrani recognized she needed to be that space for herself and would prioritize her diet. In 3 months she lost all the weight, and it was an Honoring of herself and being in Allowance of her requiring to take care of herself. She didn’t make herself wrong for prioritizing herself. Setting Boundaries Rudrani’s mom wants to feel significant in her world, so she gives her tasks to include her. It could be a really simple task like getting her to cook pasta sauce for a dinner party, but it gives her that feeling of being useful. Rudrani also made it clear that her mother would want for nothing, but she would have to give her space at times too. She still needed to go out with her friends and facilitate classes, and she couldn’t invite her mom to everything. She had to set a boundary and initially it was hard for her mom to receive that. Her mom is busy, and teaches almost every night, so she’s a busy lady! When she’s facilitating piano lessons, she’s amazing. But when she walks out of teaching, she immediately goes to the ‘take care of me’ space, which Rudrani accepts. Luckily, Rudrani and her mother really care about each other, which is that allowance and that vulnerability and being willing to set boundaries when it’s necessary. Breathing Through It Breathing really comes in handy. One weekend, (https://www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com/)her mom had a fall. When Rudrani found her, she had to stop, lower the walls and barriers, fill the eight corners of the garage, and breathe. This probably only took a few seconds, but she needed that before she could be that space for her mother again. Fortunately, the fall was nothing serious, but taking that moment to become still and take a breath when there is chaos was a game changer. She has to do that a lot with her mom! Ask For Help Something else that creates more space for caregivers is being in allowance of having siblings - or anyone else that could help - help in any way that they see fit, even if you don’t agree with it. Rudrani’s older brother helps out whenever she is too busy to look after her mom, and it works out great! Her brother feels useful, her mom gets to hang out with her son, and Rudrani gets the space to honor herself and her choices. As a caregiver, there’s a lot of allowance, being present with your body, being kind to you and being willing to ask for help. Be willing! Don’t be so righteous about things that you insist everything must be done your way and you don’t ask for help. If you’re choosing to create something different in our world, whether it’s in your relationship or how you live your life, thank you! Your choosing greater allows us all to choose greater. Relationships Done Different Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relationshipsdonedifferent/ (https://www.instagram.com/relationshipsdonedifferent/) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsDoneDifferent/ (https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsDoneDifferent/) Website: https://www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com/ (https://www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com/) Book: Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One? (https://relationshipsdonedifferent.mykajabi.com/book-launch-site?) Guest Rudrani Devi Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rudranidevi/ (https://www.instagram.com/rudranidevi/) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GetHappyWithRudrani (https://www.facebook.com/GetHappyWithRudrani) Website: https://www.rudranidevi.com/ (https://www.rudranidevi.com/) Twitter: https://twitter.com/RunningRu (https://twitter.com/RunningRu) Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdxLo9__EeU2KRfsc1gB7pw (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdxLo9__EeU2KRfsc1gB7pw) TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rudrani_devi?lang=en (https://www.tiktok.com/@rudrani_devi?lang=en)

2. 

   22 Dec 2023

   Changing Your Relationship With Your Body with Anaa Abualfaraj

   In this episode, your host, Leandra Costa, talks with Relationships Done Different Facilitator Anaa Abualfaraj about changing your relationship with your body. Anaa grew up in a part of the world where relationships were taboo, and the only relationship she knew was the marriage relationship. Everything was taboo - even showing skin was taboo - and she didn’t know how to love herself. She was born with a body, but she was never taught how to love or listen to it. She started Access Consciousness in order to have a relationship with herself, as that was a relationship she had never had and one that she had always been searching for. Before Access Consciousness, she never knew she could have an Interesting Point of View, where nobody was right or wrong, and that she could follow her own path. Becoming an Relationships Done Different facilitator gave her the space to explore the relationship with herself and with her body. Growing Up in Judgment Anaa was raised in an environment where, as a woman, you needed to be quiet, hide your skin and lower your voice. It was a constant judgment on her body. Now, in social media, there is a different type of judgment: this picture of perfection. There are certain skin tones and body types that it seems everyone aspires to have. We see this perfection in social media but when we look at ourselves and we don’t match up, we hate ourselves. It creates a separation with the self and creates so much judgment! As a child, Anaa had a very interesting relationship with her body. Her way to comfort herself was to eat, and her way to fit in with others was to eat, and her way to quiet her voice was to eat. In 12th Grade, she was around 100 kilograms and she hated herself. It was her way to cope with everything around her. It was as if she saw her body as wrongness and was keeping it in a cage and feeding it like an animal. The “Aha” moment When she started with Access Consciousness and the Relationships Done Different tools, it was like she finally let her body out of its cage. She was asking questions, but her body refused to answer or to give awareness because it had been locked up for so long and there was a lot of judgment. The ‘Aha’ moment was when Anaa first heard Gary Douglas say, “You and your body are in a relationship together.” She realized that she couldn’t control her body: her body had awareness by itself. She decided to discover everything that was possible with her body. She asked, “What do I love about carrying a weight that I love to hate? And what is the value of having this body that I’m always in constant judgment of?” She asked her body to show her how she could be in relationship with it. Essentially, she started talking to her body. There was no awareness, no answer, but she was determined. She asked what she could be or do different for her body and she started to listen. She looked at how her body felt when she ate certain things. Previously, she exercised from a judgment and hated it, but after asking her body what type of workout it enjoyed, she started walking. She tried different exercises and she experimented with the number of times she went each week. All the time, she kept asking questions and getting an awareness of what was good for her body.’ Talking to your body The biggest shift for Anaa and her body was asking questions. The one question that she asked for months was, “What is the one thing I eat that you don’t like?” She became aware that her body reacted to gluten, so she gave it up for about two years. She doesn’t have a gluten allergy, her body just doesn’t desire gluten and she honors her body by not eating it. The body sometimes rebels against its person. Anaa respects everyone who is vegan/vegetarian, but when people are on a very fixed diet, the body sometimes rebels. Your lifestyle needs to be a constant choice. Everyday you should be waking up and choosing your diet. It’s a conscious choice, an exploration and non-stop questioning. The 5 Elements of Intimacy When you’re in a place of being unhappy with your body, start with the 5 Elements of Intimacy. They are Trust, Gratitude, Allowance, Honor and Vulnerability. Anaa started with Vulnerability. She asked how she could be vulnerable with her body, and all this judgment came raining down. She listened to all of the judgments and didn’t try to fix them. Instead, she went to Interesting Point of View, I have this Point Of View.. Previously, whenever she looked at herself in the mirror, she always saw herself as the ugliest person in the world. She never received compliments about her body and her face. Through the Access tools, she went to how she could be with her own beauty and how she could discover what else is possible from that place. She trusted her body to choose the way it was, and she trusted herself to choose the energy. She chose Gratitude by looking at all the places she loved about her body and having gratitude for them. Gratitude always brings more, and she started to notice other things she loved about her body. Where there is judgment there is no gratitude, but where there is gratitude there is no judgment. Next, she started honoring her body. She asked her body what it wanted; with everything from food to coffee all the way to the type of pillowcase it desired! She asked her body about the clothes it wanted to wear and about how much skin it wanted to show. It was a constant playing with the body and putting it first. Then, Allowance. She asked her body to show her how to be in the world. We choose these amazing bodies - the vehicle we chose to move around in the world - and without them we would not be here. So if you chose this vehicle, how can you be in Allowance with it? Ask questions every day When you wake up in the morning ask: What else is possible with my body? My beautiful body? Show me the magic it can be! And everywhere you find yourself judging your body, destroy and uncreate that. We are inundated with judgment from social media and the media. What can we choose beyond all of that? And what else is possible? Relationships Done Different Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relationshipsdonedifferent/ (https://www.instagram.com/relationshipsdonedifferent/) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsDoneDifferent/ (https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsDoneDifferent/) Website: https://www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com/ (https://www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com/) Book: Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One? (https://relationshipsdonedifferent.mykajabi.com/book-launch-site?) Guest - Anaa Abualfaraj Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joy.by.anaa/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/joy.by.anaa/?hl=en) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anaa.abulfaraj (https://www.facebook.com/anaa.abulfaraj)

3. 

   15 Dec 2023

   Learning How To Love Yourself with Ashely Rose Jellis

   What would you have to be willing to let go of about you in order to access greater receiving? In this episode, your host, Leandra Costa, talks with Relationships Done Different Facilitator Ashlee Rose Jellis about learning how to love yourself by truly receiving yourself. In Ashlee’s journey to love herself, she has been exploring the power of not taking things personally and using vulnerability to access more receiving. She has discovered an ease with herself that has filtered into every relationship she has. Key points from this episode’s conversation Love yourself first Taking Rejection Personally Rejection is not real Is this personal? Vulnerability as a pathway to receiving Love yourself first Ashlee’s life has changed significantly since using the tools of Relationships Done Different. Previously, she struggled with everything related to relationships and used to wonder when it would be over and when she would finally get it right. She took many personal-development classes and courses because she was on a path of how to love herself. She wanted to learn to love herself because she had heard everyone say, “You can’t love another before you love yourself.” It wasn’t until her first Relationships Done Different class that she actually understood what that meant. Her world has changed in so many different ways. Before, she didn’t trust herself, and was the person in the relationship who tried to control their partner. She was constantly in her head, worrying about everything. Now she has an ease, first and foremost, with herself. And that has filtered into every relationship she is in. Often, we focus on romantic relationships as the ‘sole purpose of our life.’ For example, you’re right if you’re in one, and you’re wrong if you’re not in one. Relationships Done DIfferent invited Ashlee to a space of changing how she relates with everything: with her body, her business, and with money. That’s something that changed dynamically for her that she never expected! Taking Rejection Personally Before using these tools, Ashlee took everything personally and interpreted every form of rejection as a reflection of her worth. Rejection is something that we believe is true. When someone rejects us - whether we are dating someone, whether it’s romantic or a friendship - we have this idea that rejection is REAL. The truth is: rejection is not real and true, and it is often a choice we make to separate from ourselves and from others. We may make it about others, but you cannot reject anything or anyone before rejecting yourself. It is this illusion that we function from to stop us from having more of ourselves. Since diving into the topic and using the tools, Ashlee has discovered that what is underneath everything is a fear of us being too close to ourselves. It is interesting because many of us express a desire for more closeness and connection and intimacy with people, but we forget that in order to have that with others, we have to create that with ourselves first. We cannot have closeness with another without actually getting closer to ourselves. This scares people more than anything because we don’t have reference points for getting close to ourselves. Most people think of it in a negative way and believe that if they get too close to themselves they will discover that they are a terrible person and that there are a multitude of reasons for people not to like them. So we avoid getting close to ourselves because we have decided that there is already something wrong with us. In actuality, what is more true is that you are not willing to have the greatness of you and to see where you are brilliant and a gift. Rejection is not real What have you decided receiving yourself looks like or means? So often, we look at it in a negative way, as we don’t want to get too close, in case we discover too much. What have you decided will happen if you truly receive you? As soon as we make our rejection from another real or true, it stops us. When we decide we’ve been rejected, we have to look for the why - why they have done that, why we have been rejected - and we start looking for rejection in everybody else. Realize that rejection is not real or true: it is always subjective. We think that people reject us because there is something wrong with us, rather than because we can only receive another to the degree that we can receive ourselves. So, in a totally conscious world we would not need to reject, because we would not desire to reject ourselves. Is this personal? What if, every time you were rejected by something or someone, you asked the question: Is this actually personal? Is this about me? Or is this about them? That creates so much space and freedom. Really start looking at whether it is about you or about them. We are not trained to receive, we are trained to reject. We are trained to separate from everything, including ourselves. For Ashlee, receiving is a willingness to be open; with no walls, no barriers, and being willing to receive all information. When we are open to receiving all information, we can also receive the awareness that maybe things are not personal and have nothing to do with us. This gets challenging as, to be willing to receive the good, the bad and the ugly, we must be willing to not make things personal or relevant. True vulnerability comes in here, because vulnerability is the way to receive more. Have you ever noticed when you are vulnerable with someone, there is a closeness? You are receiving not only more of them, but more of yourself. Vulnerability as a pathway to receiving Receiving is not cognitive, but vulnerability is a way to access more receiving. On Ashlee’s path to not take things personally, she started by looking at where she could add more vulnerability into her life, and where she could go beyond being right. This can be excruciating for people because they start to receive more of themselves, and when you have decided you are bad you don’t actually want to receive yourself! Would you be willing to lose the judgments of you and the person you have decided you are? Would you be willing to lose taking things personally? What can you receive that you do not want to know you can receive? And what if you could receive that with greater ease? Relationships Done Different Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relationshipsdonedifferent/ (https://www.instagram.com/relationshipsdonedifferent/) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsDoneDifferent/ (https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsDoneDifferent/) Website: https://www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com/ (https://www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com/) Book: Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One? (https://relationshipsdonedifferent.mykajabi.com/book-launch-site?) Guest Ashlee Rose Jellis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleerose___/ (https://www.instagram.com/ashleerose___/) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ashleeroseBF/ (https://www.facebook.com/ashleeroseBF/) Website: https://ashlee-rose.com/ (https://ashlee-rose.com/) Telegram: https://t.me/+RMxy474iO6_mJyGn (https://t.me/+RMxy474iO6_mJyGn) Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnCvA7ZGnrHKsATXhfLhHhQ (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnCvA7ZGnrHKsATXhfLhHhQ)

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Spotify

5.0 / 5

3 ratings