Relationships the Good and the Messy-Sally Kalan

About Relationships the Good and the Messy-Sally Kalan

Relationships, the Good & the Messy is a faith-led relationship and breakup recovery podcast for women who want healthier relationships, can’t seem to let go of their ex, or are ready to understand themselves on a much deeper level. I’m Sally Kalanpodcast host, author and relationship & breakup recovery coach. For over a decade I’ve helped women heal after heartbreak, understand why they keep repeating the same patterns, rebuild their confidence, and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Every episode blends psychology, attachment, lived experience and my walk with Jesus to help you find clarity, healing and lasting emotional freedom. Together we’ll explore: • Breakup recovery • Letting go of your ex • Toxic and unhealthy relationships • Attachment styles and relationship patterns • Emotional healing and self-worth • Healthy love and secure relationships • Boundaries and rebuilding your life • What God is teaching us through life’s hardest seasons This isn’t surface-level relationship advice. It’s about understanding what’s really happening beneath your relationships so you can stop repeating painful patterns, experience genuine healing, and recognise God in the middle of your story. Whether you’re healing from heartbreak, trying to understand a relationship, or preparing for the healthy love you deserve… I offer 1.1 coaching world wide. I'm glad you found me ❤️

Publisher

Sally Kalan

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

3 Jun 2018

Latest episode

29 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

361 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   29 Oct 2026

   Why Are You Trying to Earn Love When God Says You're Already Loved?

   When did you start believing you had to work so bloody hard just to be loved? Have you ever found yourself chasing someone's affection, trying harder when they pull away, or constantly wondering what else you need to do to make somebody choose you? What if you've become so accustomed to earning love that you wouldn't actually know what to do if somebody simply gave it to you? In today's episode of Relationships: The Good & The Messy!, Sally Kalan explores one of the most overlooked patterns in unhealthy relationships: the belief that love is something we have to earn. Sometimes we're not just chasing a person. We're chasing the feeling of finally being chosen by somebody who keeps making us feel unchosen. And when affection becomes inconsistent, we can start confusing the relief of receiving attention with the experience of being genuinely loved. But Jesus shows us something different. Through Romans 5:8 and John 15:9, we explore God's love, why we don't have to become perfect to be loved, and how understanding love differently can transform the relationships we choose. We'll talk about emotional attachment, seeking validation, people-pleasing, unhealthy relationship patterns, and what it means to stop chasing love and start recognising when it's freely and consistently given. Because here's something worth remembering: You cannot make somebody emotionally available by loving them harder. You cannot build a healthy relationship by continually abandoning your own needs. And you were never created to spend your life auditioning for somebody's love. Healthy relationships aren't about constantly proving you're worthy of being chosen. They're about two people genuinely choosing each other. You deserve to live inside a loving relationship, not spend your life standing outside it trying to get in. ❤️ ❤️ Private Relationship Clarity Sessions Are you tired of chasing emotionally unavailable people, questioning your worth in relationships, or repeating the same painful patterns? I offer private one-to-one Relationship Clarity Sessions to help you understand what's keeping you stuck, gain clarity and begin making different choices in love. Message me on Instagram or Facebook to enquire about working together. Follow Relationships: The Good & The Messy! for honest, Jesus-centred conversations about love, healthy relationships, emotional healing, faith and finding your way forward. If this episode speaks to you, please share it with somebody who needs to hear it today.

2. 

   26 Oct 2026

   Are You Ready for a Healthy Relationship? 5 Signs You're Ready for Real Love

   You say you want a healthy relationship. But if real love walked into your life tomorrow, would you actually know how to receive it? We spend so much time searching for the right person, praying for love, and wondering when God is going to bring somebody into our lives. But there's a question we rarely stop to ask. Am I actually ready to receive the healthy love I've been asking for? If you've spent years chasing emotionally unavailable people, navigating inconsistent relationships, questioning someone's feelings, or confusing intensity with intimacy, genuine love can feel surprisingly unfamiliar. What happens when somebody is consistent? When they show up? When they communicate openly, love you freely, and don't make you fight for their affection? Can you relax into it? Can you trust it? Can you actually enjoy being loved? In today's episode of Relationships: The Good & The Messy!, Sally Kalan explores five powerful signs that you're becoming ready for a healthy, loving relationship. We'll talk about recognising healthy love, overcoming relationship anxiety, receiving affection, building emotional intimacy, communicating your needs, and learning to trust again after heartbreak. And through the beautiful teachings of Jesus, including 1 John 4:18 and 1 Corinthians 13, we'll explore how faith can help us move beyond fear and open our hearts to the love we've been praying for. Because here's something I want you to understand. You don't have to be perfectly healed to experience healthy love. You don't have to be fearless. You don't have to have everything figured out. You can learn to trust while you're loving. You can grow while you're receiving. And you can discover that a relationship filled with kindness, affection, consistency and peace can become your new normal. Maybe the next chapter of your love life isn't about learning how to fight for love. Maybe it's about finally allowing yourself to receive it. ❤️ ❤️ Private Relationship Clarity Sessions Are you struggling with unhealthy relationship patterns, fear of intimacy, emotional attachment, or knowing whether you're ready for a healthy relationship? I offer private one-to-one Relationship Clarity Sessions to help you understand your patterns, gain emotional clarity, and move towards the kind of love you genuinely want. Message me on Instagram or Facebook to enquire about working together. Follow Relationships: The Good & The Messy! for honest, Jesus-centred conversations about healthy relationships, love, emotional healing, faith, and finding your way forward. And if this episode speaks to you, please share it with somebody who needs to hear that beautiful, healthy love is possible for them too.

3. 

   26 Oct 2026

   What If God Is Protecting You From the Love You’re Chasing?

   What if the person you're praying so hard to be with is the very person God is trying to protect you from? Are you struggling to let go of someone you love? Praying for a relationship to work? Waiting for someone to choose you? Or wondering why, despite everything you've tried, the relationship just isn't moving forward? Sometimes we become so emotionally attached to somebody that we mistake chemistry for compatibility, potential for reality, and waiting for faith. But what if God is inviting you to see something you've been overlooking? In today's episode of Relationships: The Good & The Messy!, Sally Kalan explores what happens when we become so focused on making a relationship work that we stop asking whether it's actually right for us. Drawing on the teachings of Jesus, Proverbs 3:5–6, Matthew 7:16 and Romans 8:28, we explore relationship discernment, emotional attachment, recognising unhealthy relationship patterns, trusting God's guidance, and finding the courage to let go. Because you can have an extraordinary connection with somebody and still not have a relationship you can actually live inside. You can lose a relationship without losing your future. And sometimes the very thing you're frightened of losing is the thing that's been keeping you from experiencing the love and peace you deserve. ❤️ Need clarity in your relationship? If you're struggling with heartbreak, an on-and-off relationship, emotional attachment, or knowing whether to stay or walk away, I offer private one-to-one Relationship Clarity Sessions. Message me on Instagram or Facebook to enquire about working together. Follow Relationships: The Good & The Messy! for honest, Jesus-centred conversations about love, relationships, emotional healing, faith and finding your way forward. And if this episode speaks to you, please share it with somebody who needs to hear it today.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.9 / 5

14 ratings

Spotify

4.6 / 5

10 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 47 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

80

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

32

Contact Relationships the Good and the Messy-Sally Kalan

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.