Ricky B. The Rock N Roll Rat: Podcast Edition

About Ricky B. The Rock N Roll Rat: Podcast Edition

Ricky B. Rat, a punk rock rat dude living the dream as the low man on the totem pole, tells us stories from his life in the rock n roll fast lane to nowhere.

Publisher

Pyra Draculea

Category

comedy · fiction

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

4 Aug 2024

Latest episode

11 Mar 2025

Latest episodes

12 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   11 Mar 2025

   Episode 12: Spring Cleaning at the Studio

   It’s that time of year again when Big Mike (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/big-mike/) suddenly cares about how filthy the studio is and orders Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) and Intern Dave to get to cleaning. Also, Ricky tells us all about Jeff’s nephew Logan, the audio wonder kid. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): So, it’s March now. And you know what that means: only 6 weeks til 420! Also, it means spring cleaning at the studio. It never fails, man: as soon as the weather brightens up, suddenly Big Mike he can see all them dust bunnies and cobwebs and sticky spots on the kitchenette floor that he never noticed before. Now, this year it wasn’t as bad, ‘cause like I mentioned before (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/2025/02/09/episode-10-vengeance-and-valentines/), he had us do some renovating in the studio in January to make the storage loft into a new lounge for the main live room and the old lounge into a new mix room, so there was a lot of stuff that was too new to be all that dirty, but still: Big Mike got on his high horse about how filthy the faders and everything was. (Well, except for the new-to-us mixing board in the new mix room, because Intern Dave had throughly scrubbed all the Tommy Lee Mötley Crüe crusty cooties off that one and we ain’t seen no one bang no hookers on it since… yet…) Y’know, it’s funny that Big Mike gets so upset about things getting spilled and dirty, considering he wears his same old dirty wifebeater tank top that used to be white—I guess—but which has mustard and ketchup stains on it because Big Mike eats like a pig and he don’t gotta care what the bimbos think about that ‘cause he’s rich and kinda famous, plus he knows real famous people, so the bimbos give him a pass on dressing like a slob. I guess it’s a slow production week ‘cause he was supposed to be working on Bon Jovi’s new album but Bon Jovi got voice problems now (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-news/jon-bon-jovi-can-still-sing-following-vocal-cord-surgery-1235872294/) and had to cancel, so Big Mike needed something to keep him entertained and unfortunately me and Intern Dave were the somethings. So, Big Mike plonked himself on the sofa in the main control room and hollered for me and Intern Dave to come in for a staff meeting. (He called Jeff in, too, but Jeff was mixing a new single for HV/AC and reminded Big Mike that he’s not actually staff. And that Mrs. Mike is Jeff’s aunt… which is weird ‘cause Mrs. Mike is, like, the same age as Jeff, but I think she was from Jeff’s grandpa’s second or third marriage or something… so she’s like, a second generation trophy wife, I guess… I dunno, it ain’t none of my business, but point is: Big Mike left Jeff alone after that.) Anyway, so there was Big Mike: sitting on the black leather sofa at the back of the control room like Jabba the Hut, minus his slutty Princess Leia because it was too early in the morning for that, plus Jeff was in the other room and Big Mike figures Jeff’s a snitch so he only brings his side chicks around when Jeff’s not working that day. And I suppose the lack of a side chick was probably part of why Big Mike was so sour-faced and needing entertainment from me and Intern Dave. “This place is filthy!” Big Mike growled. “It’s time you two gave it a thorough cleaning.” Well, Intern Dave grumbled and whined, ‘cause he’s a lazy asshole, but I just said, “OK, boss. What should I do first?” Big Mike said, “Fetch the masking tape.” Well, that don’t make no sense to me, but OK. I fetched a roll of green masking tape from the supplies drawer underneath of the drug drawer in the side table next to the sofa.

2. 

   25 Feb 2025

   Episode 11: Beginners’ Ballet

   Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) laments being dragged to ballet class with Baby (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/baby-rattsen-2/) and contemplates a future of “happy wife, happy life.” Along the way, he runs into Myles (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/myles-maarav-2/), gets laughed at by Big Mike (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/big-mike/) and Intern Dave, and argues with Jeff about whether water is actually better for drinking than Rat Cola. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): This goes in the second anthology. So… I never did talk about New Year’s resolutions, huh? Well, the main thing I wanna change in 2025 is my bank account (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/2024/10/08/episode-5-a-very-ratsville-thanksgiving/), but that’s gonna be a hard sell as Big Mike is a big believer in not exceeding minimum wage for studio staff and I ain’t got no time to take on a second job. Well, at least I save money by living at home: as annoying as Mama Rat (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/mama-rat/)’s endless chore lists are, it beats the Hell out of paying rent. And Papa Rat does send me a little bit of money from Florida every month, too, but that’s our little secret. I don’t tell Mama that and I don’t let Big Mike hear about it neither lest he decide I can afford to work for him for free. So, that’s my new year’s resolution: increasing my bottom line. Somehow. Of course, Mama has all sorts of ideas about resolutions I ought to have, like going to college or at least trade school and getting a real job and quitting all the fun stuff in life like boozing and smoking (both kinds). I just tell her I’ll think about it and get out the door as quick as I can. Mama’s not the only one with a list of demands for me, though. Baby’s got a whole list, too: mostly fashion-related ‘cause apparently I dress bad. Unfortunately, one of them is her insistence that I need to take up ballet (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/2024/12/10/episode-9-balleratina/) so she can go back to dancing ballet and I really don’t know why she can’t just go dance ballet on her own time, but she signed us both up for the Adult Beginners’ Ballet class at Balleratina… which is weird ‘cause Baby ain’t no beginner but I guess she figured she would come down to my level. And I couldn’t really come up with a good excuse to not get dragged to ballet class ‘cause Big Mike heard about all this nonsense from his daughters who are part of the Balleratina Facerat gossip group and he told me I have Monday nights off from now on to “go be a prancing Nancy.” Ugh… I’d rather clean the studio toilets. But… I gotta make Baby happy, I guess. “Happy wife, happy life” starts way before any wedding. And y’know, it wouldn’t have been nearly as bad if I coulda just shown up in my sweat pants and my sneakers and my “Don’t Fuck With the Wongs (https://minorthread.com/products/the-wongs-dont-fuck-with-the-wongs-tour-shirt-size-xl?srsltid=AfmBOoqnAy4yyC8iu3erX-YqT_NFcaps6Wr7mELteO26tgmfdOwobl3H)” t-shirt, but apparently that’s not allowed. Not even if I wore a plain t-shirt that doesn’t have swear words on it. I was told of this just after Christmas when Baby demanded I take her shopping and I was thinking it would be regular Boxing Day sales but nope, she insisted I take her to the Ratsville Dance World shop. Which would have been no worse than any other shopping destination except instead of being told to follow Baby around and get loaded down with carry...

3. 

   9 Feb 2025

   Episode 10: Vengeance and Valentines

   Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) explains why he hasn’t done a podcast in 2 months and why he has been spitting in Intern Dave’s Diet Cherry Rat Cola. He also complains about Valentine’s Day… from last year. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): Hey-o, Ricky here… um… please excuse me from being late with the podcast, I… um… well, I kinda been busy and forgot. Y’know, there was Christmas and all that, with Baby (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/baby-rattsen-2/) dragging me to the mall when I wasn’t working at the studio and Mama Rat (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/mama-rat/) nagging me to do chores and put up Christmas lights, and then I had to babysit my nieces (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/2024/12/10/episode-9-balleratina/) and nephew (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/2024/11/20/episode-8-all-about-marvin/) a bunch when my sister Becky had Christmas parties and public appearances they have to do for KRAT Channel 7 News and Mama Rat had her bingo dates with Ambrose and… I mean, I just forgot. It happens. And then there was New Year’s and I had a hangover that was, like, a whole week long, and then Mama had New Year’s chores that needed doing and Big Mike (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/big-mike/) wanted us to do some renovating at the studio because he realized if he rented a big ol’ storage unit over at the Pack Rat’s U-Store It for all the gear he had up in the storage loft in the back above the live room, then he could make the loft into a lounge for the main studio and make the old lounge into a new mix room and charge twice as much cause he could have two sessions going on at a time, which meant me and Intern Dave had to do a lot of moving gear, junking junk, installing new cheap laminate flooring and painting the walls, installing soundproofing… you get the picture. I didn’t help much with the actual wiring and installation of the new SSL (https://solidstatelogic.com/) mixing board and the gear, ‘cause I don’t know much about the tech stuff, but I did have to help carry in the crates and man was my back sore for like 3 weeks. Did I say it was a new SSL? Well, I meant new to us here at Rat Trap Studios. It’s actually an old 96 channel G-Series (https://mixedbymarcmozart.com/2014/09/29/ssl-consoles-whats-difference-4000g-6000e-8000g-9000j-etc/) from the 1980s that Big Mike bought off some dude in Vancouver. Said it was still in good working condition and to the best of the seller’s knowledge, Tommy Lee (https://www.amazon.ca/Tommyland-Tommy-Lee/dp/0743483448) from Motley Crue only banged three hookers on it but it was recommended we have it thoroughly disinfected anyway just to be sure… but I don’t know nothin’ bought disinfecting so it fell to Intern Dave to put on the haz-mat suit and wipe it all down with the KleenRat bleach. And he thought it wasn’t quite working well enough because there were still some crusty bits in the fader slots, so Intern Dave told me to fetch him the ammonia from the janitor closet and I did that and man… we sure had one hell of a trip off the fumes. I dunno how long I was passed out for, but I guess Jeff came in after his yoga class and yelled at Intern Dave and opened all the windows and doors and dragged me and Intern Dave out to the parking lot for fresh air and that one neighbor who always calls the cops called the cops only this time it wasn’t ‘cause Big Mike and his missus was fighting in the parking lot,

4. 

   10 Dec 2024

   Episode 9: Balleratina

   Big Mike teaches Ricky the basics of audio engineering, but their lesson is interrupted by a call from Ricky's sister demanding he take their nieces to ballet class.

5. 

   20 Nov 2024

   Episode 8: All About Marvin

   Ricky B. The Rock N Roll Rat navigates babysitting duties for his nephew Marvin, revealing the chaos that ensues when Mama Rat's expectations clash with his Saturday night plans.

6. 

   5 Nov 2024

   Episode 7: Election Day

   With Halloween behind us, Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) tells us about the next horror: city council election season… complete with Baby’s (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/baby-rattsen-2/) election outfit opinions. Meanwhile, Myles (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/myles-maarav-2/) runs for city council (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/2024/09/03/vote-4-myles/) but runs into the brick wall of Ratsville voting tradition. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): Well, with Halloween behind us, we here in Ratsville moved on to an even bigger horror show: city council election season. Haha… just kidding… not really… I mean, politicians suck, but they pretty much all just pocket tax money for themselves and don’t actually do anything good or bad aside from that. And us rats figured out long ago that whatever they say they’re gonna do is all bullshit anyway, so at some point we mostly all just started voting for the tallest dude running for office and I’d say it’s not any worse than any other place where they try to pick the best candidate. After all, they’re all a bunch of lying scumbags just after money and power, so what difference does it make? Usually I don’t even bother to vote—not that I’ve had many chances to vote, being 23 and all, ‘cause it’s only been a few years that I’ve been eligible to vote. And usually they have the elections on Saturdays when I’m busy working. But this time was Baby’s first chance to vote and she was all excited about finally getting to take her election selfies in front of the big “I VOTED” backdrop in the hallway in our old elementary school just outside the gym. She’d been hoping to take pics in the actual voting booth, too, but she was warned by her friends at cosmetology school (who were a bit older and voted last time) that the election folks were confiscating cell phones if you tried to take selfies inside the voting room. So, I guess that was a bit of a bummer for her. I, of course, was gonna be tasked with driving Baby to and from voting on Election Day. And Baby had strict orders for me as to what I was to wear so as to co-ordinate with the special voting outfit Baby had planned all the way back in July. “Ricky, do you have anything orange?” “Naw, Baby.” “What about cream-colored?” “I mean, I guess I got a couple stained tank tops that are kinda cream-colored now, but they used to be white.” “Are they the same shade of cream-colored as the Ratland flag?” Now, I had no idea what she was talking about but Baby’s very particular about color, so she was gonna have to come by my house and go through my closet to inspect things. And when Baby’s old man caught wind that Baby was gonna be hanging out in my bedroom, he went ballistic and insisted we had to be chaperoned. Ugh… As often happens, chaperone duty fell onto her cousin Myles, which is kinda funny ‘cause Myles really don’t give a shit and he kinda resents being ordered to tag along so he just spends the whole time on his phone or laptop ignoring us. Still, I wasn’t gonna be trying nothin’ with him there ‘cause that would be weird, which I guess is the whole reason Mr. Rattsen insists on Myles chaperoning us. Anyway, so about a week before Election Day, I picked Baby and Myles up from the Rattsen house and brought them both over to my house so Baby could inspect my voting clothes. (Or lack thereof.) Mama Rat (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/mama-rat/) wasn’t there, which was good, ‘cause Mama always acts weird when my friends come over, trying to rope them into doing chores for her and saying rude things about their moms if she knows the...

7. 

   22 Oct 2024

   Episode 6: Ricky & Baby’s Hallowe’en Horror

   Never mind the ghosts and ghouls, the real horrors Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) faces in the Hallowe’en season are the cute couples’ activities his girlfriend Baby (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/baby-rattsen-2/) subjects him to. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): Ah, spooky season… it can be fun with the drinkin’ and the pilfering the peanut butter cups from Mama Rat (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/mama-rat/)’s trick or treat stash for the neighborhood kids and all that, but sometimes it really sucks. Like this one time last year when I got roped into Baby’s idea of a fun spooky time… man, that was a real nightmare. So it was coming up to Halloween and Baby was goin’ on and on about this awesome Big Fat Horror Shop haunted house thing they do at the local fairground… which is to say, dropping hints that I was to take her to it on Saturday date night. And I was tryin’ to avoid that. Not ‘cause I was scared or nothin’, cause I ain’t scared of nothin’, but it’s just such a dumb idea, like, you pay all this money to go, and you gotta fight for parking and they make you park on the hayfield and half the time it’s pouring rain so it’s all mucky. And my car’s just a crappy old Volkswagen Rabbit from 1983 (https://autos.yahoo.com/shift-gears-turbo-1983-volkswagen-174422806.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAABJXSJYy7S1gx8FidQCCbvtJlEl-lyPna2YpPbByKBs1o1XVh89lHqc4tetsCVVAd7ilrB3uyFIlueNIWHfOH9qahQ1KbZhbDriP4ILLUBPnsYFE7tb5aMq_Zlk0X4RVMVJxLxpU1rUZtLkwFktxHNbkE4aIPkKTzJu5mF6Q5Ebp) so it ain’t nothin’ to write home about, but it gets the job done and I do try to keep it as nice as I can, so I hate when it gets muddy. Especially when the mud gets into the rust spots, y’know; those are kinda hard to hose out, and I just washed the damned thing the day before so it would be presentable on date night. And now we were gonna have to go and park in the muck and I was gonna have to hear Baby bitchin’ about getting her shoes all muddy even though this was her date idea, not mine. And that’s just the start of it, cause then once you’re parked and you trudge through the mud to the fairgrounds hall, you gotta put up with dorks from the local community college theatre program jumping out at you in the dark and you’re supposed to act scared of the ketchup they use for fake blood and all and man, it’s so lame. Not to mention that by the time you pay for the two tickets and the concession stand and all that, ya coulda just stayed home watching pirate movies when Mama Rat was out at bingo and ordered a large pizza with extra cheese and gotten a 40 ouncer of Fireball and gotten wasted and maybe even gotten lucky. But no dice ‘cause Baby wanted to go and take selfies and I ran out of “working late” excuses ‘cause Jeff was away on some meditation retreat thing and Big Mike (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/big-mike/) was down in LA working on Guns N Roses’s bassist’s latest side project album and so on Saturday night I picked up Baby at 6 o’clock. Baby’s mama was away at a ladies’ church club whatever meeting, but her daddy Mr. Rattsen was there to growl at me. And as usual, her old man gave me the same ol’ lecture about bringing his daughter home by midnight or else… while polishing his hunting rifles, as he always does. Man, I’m tellin’ ya: them rifles get more polish than use. I mean, I never heard of him actually going hunting or nothin’, and my uncle Barney is all about the hunting and I swear he knows every hunter in Ratland and I asked him one time and he ain’t never heard of Mr. Rattsen going hunting neither.

8. 

   8 Oct 2024

   Episode 5: A Very Ratsville Thanksgiving

   Preparations for the studio’s annual pre-long weekend Thanksgiving kegger go awry when Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) falls down the stairs and gets a stern talking-to from his guardian angel. Meanwhile, Baby’s (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/baby-rattsen-2/) busy packratting stuff for their future house and her daddy has some sage advice for Ricky when it comes to picking out a ring for her. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): Hey-o, Ricky here! I guess you know that. Been a while since the last podcast ‘cause there was that extra week or whatever. I been busy ‘cause, well, it’s always busy at the studio, usually. And Thanksgiving is next week—I think in America it’s next month, but in Ratland we do it in October where it belongs. Y’know, in Mouseland they do Thanksgiving in January. That don’t make no sense, man: I mean, in October it’s after the apple harvest and whatnot and it’s weird that Americans do it like a month later, but January’s even weirder. Mice are all screwed up. This one time I asked my girlfriend Baby’s half-mouse cousin Myles (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/myles-maarav-2/) what’s up with that, and he just shrugged and said they always have done it in January and there’s plenty of stored food then. But also he said he thought the proper time for Thanksgiving is in April after the big tax season rush… of course, Myles is an accountant so I guess he would say that ‘cause he’s rolling in the dough in April. Anyway, I got me three Thanksgivings I gotta go to next week. First off, we have our annual Thursday night pre-long weekend kegger at the studio before Big Mike (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/big-mike/) goes down to Vegas for the weekend. Then on Sunday I’ll be going to Baby’s family’s for their big Thanksgiving dinner, even though I’m sure her folks would rather I didn’t go and that’s why they stick me and the other boyfriends and husbands at a little table in the kitchen next to the kids’ table. (And before Baby’s older sisters got married and started having kids, us boyfriends had to sit at what is now the kids table, well, actually we sat cross-legged on the floor but it was the same low plastic table we had our plates on.) And then Mama Rat (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/mama-rat/) has her dinner on Thanksgiving proper on Monday, and she makes a huge big to-do about it ‘cause it’s another chance to show off and stick it to Aunty Maureen and her other sisters-in-law that she can’t stand. Sigh… and all three of these have a whole lotta preparation and chores that come in advance to the big day. Y’know, Baby’s thinking of the future when me and her are hitched and we have a house and she might take a turn hosting Thanksgiving and other holidays. So, she’s always dragging me with her to Homerat to pick out decorations and stuff, which she then puts into a big ol’ storage unit she’s renting til we have that house. And that storage unit is absolutely stuffed since she’s been packing it full o’ stuff from Homerat since 8th grade. At this point I think we’re gonna need a mansion just to fit it all, and I dunno how I’m gonna afford one o’ them unless I win the lottery, but Baby insists we still don’t have everything we need for the house yet, so Wednesday when I could slip away from the studio I picked her up from cosmetology school and we headed back to Homerat. “What are we looking for today, Baby?” “We’re gonna need cheese forks.” “OK, Baby… wait, didn’t we get cheese forks a few months ago?” “Those were St. Patrick’s Day cheese forks with shamrocks on the handles.

9. 

   17 Sept 2024

   Episode 4: The Ratsville County Fair

   This week, Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) tells us all about this year’s Ratsville County Fair—complete with People’s Choice election-fixing tips from Myles (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/myles-maarav-2/). Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): Well, well, well… what a week… Did y’all have fun at the Ratsville County Fair this weekend? I know I sure did. Well, for the first few hours… I mean, how could you not? There’s all the food trucks, all loaded up with mini-donuts and cheeseburgers and pizza and corn dogs and nachos and all sorta candy, man… and I had ta have it all! Mama (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/mama-rat/) always did say I must have a hollow tail the way I eat and still stay skinny, and she might well be right. Sure seems like it every time the fair comes around. And then there’s all the rides. Naturally, I got me a three day ride pass and I went on all of ‘em. I mean, sure: I did puke my guts out on the Zipper seven times on Friday night, but that just meant I could stuff my gullet full o’ grub again seven more times, and different grub each time. Y’know, I didn’t learn a whole lot in history class, mostly ‘cause I wasn’t listening, but I do recall that Mr. Goudasen said the Romans used to do the same thing at their banquets, only they didn’t have no Zipper to help the process. Hell, they didn’t even have old school wooden rollercoasters in them days, man, or so Mr. Goudasen said. But they did do the barf and binge thing, and they were the world’s greatest civilization, and I figure the two gotta be related somehow. And they definitely would have ridden a giant Zipper ride stuck together with duct tape and gum by methed-out ex-cons… if the option had been available to them. Hey, wanna know something else cool about the Romans? They invented pizza. And cheeseburgers. And fast food. Also UFC, but I think they called it something different back then. Plus it wasn’t pay per view, it was live in person and it was free. They also invented toilets, which means it’s their fault I gotta clean the ones at the studio, so that kinda sucks, but hey: no one’s perfect. Anyway, so on Friday me and my cousins Darren and Billy went to the fair, just the three of us. And we didn’t even bother with the beer garden… mostly ‘cause it was cheaper to smuggle our own liquor in in some empty water bottles in Darren’s backpack. And we rode the rides and chugged the grub and had a great ol’ time. Well… until we ran into my girlfriend Baby’s (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/baby-rattsen-2/) half-mouse cousin Myles, who was wandering around in a suit and tie with a couple half-naked babes wearing tiny, tight “VOTE 4 MYLES” t-shirts. Now, Darren and Billy don’t care for mice, and I get it, man, mice kinda suck. I mean, that’s why we—er, I mean, some folks—go over to Mouseton on Friday nights to beat ‘em up… but, half-mouse or not, Myles is Baby’s family which means someday he’ll be my family, so I warned Darren and Billy to be cool. Billy said fine and Darren growled, but he walked away to take a leak behind the Tilt N Hurl, so it was all good. And I waved to Myles and I asked him how he can wear a suit at the fair. I mean, if I wore a suit, I’d’ve ruined it within the first 20 minutes of being here. “Some of us are evolved beyond the level of filthy barn animals, Ricky.” “Barn? Oh, we ain’t even been over to that part of the fair yet, man. Hey, you wanna go cow-tippin’ with us?” Myles rolled his eyes. “I’m busy.” “Right… I gotcha, man. Best time for cow-tippin’ is after dark when everyone’s busy watching the tribute bands. See ya behind the cow barn in a few hours!

10. 

    2 Sept 2024

    Episode 3: The C-RAT Infestation Show

    This week Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) vents about the local modern rock radio station C-RAT using Big Mike’s (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/big-mike/) studio to host a win-to-get-in acoustic show by alt-rockers Our Lady Cheese, which just so happens to be Ricky’s cousin Billy’s favorite band in the whole wide world. Unfortunately, he’s not the only obsessed fan who shows up to the show. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): OK, man, I gotta vent… one of those weeks at the studio… well, I guess they all kinda suck. Working in showbiz ain’t always so great. So where do I even begin… Well, so y’all know that band, Our Lady Cheese, right? They had a couple big hits on the radio back in the day, like “Cheeseland” and they played all the festivals… never really made it big anywhere outside of Ratland and only a couple of their songs kinda sorta made a minor splash in America, but still, they had a pretty good career here, I guess. And, like, their singer Billy Ratgun was kinda a heartthrob of sorts, at least for a certain kinda rat girl. Y’know, the kind that hate their dads a little bit but not so much that they get into that whole industrial noise scene like some folks… which reminds me, I still hate the intro music the Cartoonist (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/the-cartoonist/) gave me from her old industrial project but, well, it is free, I guess. I mean, I sure don’t wanna work extra hours at the studio to pay for licensing for anything good, so… Anyway, so Our Lady Cheese is still at it, man, at least every summer before the one dude has to go back to his day job as a shop teacher at Ratsboro High School and the other dude goes back to bartending for the winter and the third dude I heard works at his daddy’s dairy farm managing the artisanal gouda division, so he gets to have a lot of time off to tour. Billy Ratgun I don’t think has an actual day job no more, but that’s because he has a side hustle going to corporate offices to talk to them about creative problem solving or something like that. They don’t advertise that much, it’s kinda hush-hush, but he’s got an agent and all that that handles his bookings and his wife Heidi’s lame folk duo still gets a lot of airplay on that radio station the old ladies listen to, so that pays the bills, too. And I know all this shit ‘cause a few months back when I was in attendance at one of my girlfriend Baby’s (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/baby-rattsen-2/) family Sunday brunches, y’know, after church when her daddy Mr. Rattsen is all dressed up for golf and trying to hurry things along so he can hit the greens but Mrs. Rattsen wants to sit around and gossip and drink a few too many mai-tais, anyway, so Baby’s eldest sister Stephanie was bitching that she had been tasked with booking Billy Ratgun to come talk to their accounting department about creativity and thinking outside of the box while the marketing department got some speaker who was all about sticking to the tried and true… anyway, I guess both departments must have taken the speeches to heart because they’re getting audited by Ratland Revenue now and sales are in the toilet ever since the new marketing campaign began but it’s OK ‘cause Stephanie’s job is secure so long as her boss’s wife doesn’t catch wind of— Y’know, forget I said anything. Point is, Billy Ratgun ain’t got no real job, I guess. Just being a famous in Ratland rock star. So Our Lady Cheese, they’re alright and all, but meh. Not my thing. They’re too… well, I mean, you don’t see Johnny Rotten talking to accounting departments about creativity. At least I’m pretty sure you don’t. And you definitely don’t see the Ramones or Sid V...

11. 

    19 Aug 2024

    Episode 2: Ratland Day Long Weekend

    This week Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/) tells us about the big Ratland Day long weekend and why it sucked so bad, courtesy of Mama Rat (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/mama-rat/)‘s one-sided rivalry with Aunty Maureen and Ricky’s girlfriend Baby’s (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/baby-rattsen-2/) mom and sister and their insistence on going into the annual Ratland Day Long Weekend Traffic Jam Extravaganza. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): Hey-o! Ricky here, well, I guess y’all know that from last time and the show intro says so, too. Hope you all had a better Ratland Day long weekend than I did, man. I mean, I should know better by now… I always think Ratland Day’s gonna be rad but then it always sucks monkey balls. First of all, things were looking up ‘cause Big Mike (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/big-mike/) was working in Chicago. And Jeff was away at a Zen retreat thingy in Colorado and neither Simpin’ Simon nor Nolan No Peen were in town neither, so things were quiet at the studio. No bookings, just a list of chores Big Mike left behind, but me and Intern Dave got that shit all done by Tuesday. So we were able to hang out and chill all week and I wasn’t gonna have to be there on the weekend. Score! Usually Baby and her mom and sisters all go down to LA to shop on Rodeo Drive every Ratland Day to get away from the traffic jams here and whatnot, but this time Baby’s second-oldest sister Yvonne was preggo and gonna have her baby around Ratland Day so Mrs. Rattsen wanted to stay in town for that. Baby whined about missing her shopping holiday, but I pointed out that meant we could hang out at the beach. I guess it’s been a whole three weeks since Baby last took beach selfies, so that made her happy ‘cause she could take new ones to post on Instarat for all her friends to like. Baby’s pops was out of town for a corporate conference but then also he was tacking on a weekend golf tournament, too, so no shotgun threats if I brought Baby home later than usual. As much as Mrs. Rattsen also hates my guts, she’s squeamish about guns and she also goes to bed early and sleeps like a log so it’s kinda an honour system when she’s the only parent in the house. It shouldn’t matter ‘cause Baby’s 19 now and me and her been an item since 8th grade algebra class, and I always take real good care of her, but… you know how it is with some folks. Anyway, point is me and Baby had plans for the weekend. So far, so good, right? Well, you would think so… except… family, man. Family. First up, Mama Rat woke me up early on Saturday morning, like 11am, to tell me I had to get up and get ready to go to the big family BBQ at my cousins’ Darren and Billy’s place. Which I forgot about. OK, no problem, or so I thought. Baby takes forever to get ready so I figured I could get there, grab a burger and a beer and make nice with all the old folks and tiny tots, say hi to Darren and Billy, then jet and still make it to the Rattsens’ before Baby finished making up her mind what shoes to wear to the beach. And then probably I’d still be sitting there bored for 2 hours before Baby was ready to actually hit the road. I shoulda known better, man… Well… first of all, Mama Rat insisted we stop at the Ratmart Supercentre because even though Darren and Billy said they were gonna have everything for the big BBQ, Mama Rat don’t get along with their mama Maureen. I dunno why, I think it goes all the way back to junior high when Maureen supposedly kissed the captain of the football team that Mama had a crush on. Even though it’s a million years later and neither Mama nor Aunty Maureen married that dude,

12. 

    4 Aug 2024

    Episode 1: Jeff vs. Big Mike

    In this very first episode of Ricky B. The Rock N Roll Rat: Podcast Edition, we meet Ricky (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/ricky-b-rat-2/), who stumbles for what to say on the big show until he remembers a funny incident from the other day in which his boss, Big Mike (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/meet-the-cast/big-mike/), butts heads with one of the other studio rats, Jeff, who somehow got a much better deal on tickets to see the Dalai Lama. And then chaos and hilarity ensue when Mrs. Mike finds out what Big Mike paid for his ticket. Podcast Script (not including ad-libs): Hi, I’m Ricky, and I’m a cheese-o-holic… haha, wrong meeting. OK, so the Cartoonist (https://www.rickybtherocknrollrat.com/the-cartoonist/) figures we should do, like, a podcast or whatever, and I guess I gotta do what the Cartoonist says, so… um… she didn’t tell me what I’m supposed to say in a podcast, though… Well, I guess I should tell ya a bit about myself. I’m Ricky, like I said. I’m coming at ya not live but pre-recorded from the famous Rat Trap Studios here in Ratsville, Ratland… and I’m recording this in the control room at like 3 in the morning ‘cause finally there’s no one else here. Big Mike, that’s my boss who owns this joint, you’ve definitely heard his work, he produces a lot of the big rock bands you hear on CRAT and the other big rock radio stations, y’know, like HV/AC and Nickelrat and he did the last Bon Jovi album too but I don’t think that really got much airplay, though… but anyway, Big Mike went home hours ago… well, maybe he didn’t go home, he probably went to the boobie bar, but that ain’t none of my business and he said he was going home, like, sooner or later. Er… no, that was Saturday he was here. Er… wait, he was here earlier… was he? Never mind, it all blends together, man. I’m the go-fer here, well, I guess I’m the runner, officially, but that makes it sound like I’m some sorta jock and I ain’t, haha. I hate the exercise wheel, man. Screw that; I ain’t spending an hour running in place gettin’ all sweaty for nothin’, man… Um… what else… I’m a rat dude, obviously, but aren’t we all? Unless you’re a mouse dude listening from Mouseton across the canyon but I don’t know why you would be. Well, my buddy Myles is half rat dude, half mouse dude, but he’s an exception. Usually that doesn’t happen and… well, it’s a story for another day, maybe Myles can come hang out and tell us what’s what. Or if my girlfriend Baby Rattsen comes here, she can tell ya cause she’s his cousin… on the rat side of his family, of course. Obviously. Well, maybe not, cause if I get Baby here when we’re all alone, we ain’t recording nothin’… at least not for a podcast, haha… We’re going up to the designated make-out spot in the loft. Obviously. Anyway, then Jeff’s the main mix engineer and he supervises the recording engineers, though usually he leaves them be and goes to meditate somewhere while they do their thing so long as Big Mike’s not up everyone’s ass, anyway, Jeff went home half an hour ago, then I had to mop the floors and clean the bathrooms and kitchenette and shit before I could sit down and track the show.. I guess you don’t need to hear that boring stuff. So… what else… I been working here since I was 16. Before that, I just hung around in the alley behind hoping to meet famous dudes and get autographs and sometimes that worked but mostly I got chased away by Big Mike til one day he fired the intern for spilling coke in the faders and I don’t blame Big Mike ‘cause that shit’s expensive. Anyway, he came out to yell at me like usual or so I thought but instead he said, “If you’re gonna hang around here like a bum all day, you might as well mop the effin’ floors” and I said “Cool man” and that’s it, I was working in show biz.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

YouTube views

347

Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025

Podcast Authority Score: 16 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

7

Social presence

0

YouTube

64

Engagement

0

Contact Ricky B. The Rock N Roll Rat: Podcast Edition

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.