12 Oct 2026
Episode 44 | Can Your Past Shape You Without Defining You? with Ryan Hartley
Can your past shape who you are without defining who you become?
Our childhood experiences, relationships and emotional wounds can influence how we see ourselves and connect with others. But what happens when we question the stories we've carried for years?
In Episode 44 of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia welcomes Ryan Hartley, founder of Always Better Than Yesterday, for a deeply personal conversation about childhood experiences, identity, self-worth, heart-centred leadership and finding purpose.
Having known each other for nearly two decades, Lydia and Ryan explore how their experiences have shaped their passion for helping others feel seen, heard and understood.
Ryan opens up about feelings of abandonment, his need for belonging and how seeking validation influenced his relationships and leadership.
Together, they explore reconnecting with yourself, leading from the heart and recognising that your past doesn't have to define your future.
What We Cover
Childhood experiences: How early relationships shape our beliefs and identity.
People-pleasing: How fear of rejection influences our behaviour.
Heartset versus mindset: Understanding your values, strengths and purpose.
Passion, pain and possibility: Three pathways to finding purpose.
Pain into purpose: How lived experiences can inspire compassion and connection.
Heart-centred leadership: Leading with self-awareness and authenticity.
Living authentically: Expressing who you are without changing your entire life.
Your heartprint: How everyday interactions make a difference.
Heartset, Heartwork and Heartprint
Ryan introduces three concepts central to his work:
Heartset: Knowing who you are, what you value and what matters.
Heartwork: Expressing your values through actions and relationships.
Heartprint: The impact you leave through how you connect and lead.
Drawing on the forensic principle that every contact leaves a trace, Ryan reminds us that making a difference doesn't require extraordinary achievements.
Sometimes it begins with helping one person feel valued.
Who This Episode Is For
This conversation may resonate if you:
Have experienced trauma, abandonment or disconnection.
Struggle with people-pleasing or seeking validation.
Feel disconnected from your identity or purpose.
Want to understand how your past influences your present.
Want to live or lead more authentically.
Key Takeaways
Your past can shape you without defining you.
Self-awareness helps you recognise unhelpful patterns.
Purpose can emerge through passion, pain and possibility.
You don't have to turn trauma into purpose.
Heart-centred leadership begins with self-awareness.
Every interaction can leave a positive heartprint.
The Conductor's Question
Lydia asks Ryan what he would say to his younger self.
His moving answer explores self-compassion, reassurance and recognising he never needed to prove his worth.
He leaves listeners with a powerful reminder: every contact leaves a trace.
About Ryan Hartley
Ryan founded Always Better Than Yesterday, a heart-centred leadership coaching and consultancy business helping people reconnect with their values, purpose and humanity.
He also hosts the Always Better Than Yesterday podcast.
Connect with Ryan: [ADD LINKS]
Connect with Lydia
Website: www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk
Instagram: @ridingthetraumatrain
Right Track Wellbeing: @right.track.wellbeing
Email: hello@ridingthetraumtrain.com
If this episode resonates, share it with someone who may need to hear it and follow Riding the Trauma Train for more conversations about trauma, healing and connection.
Content Note: Discusses childhood abuse, abandonment, emotional distress and spiritual beliefs. Listen at your own pace. Nobody has to find purpose in their trauma.
