Running For President

About Running For President

Follow Dan Greaney’s campaign for President of the United States for an inside look at what it takes to run. Along the way, Dan talks with political experts, people he admires most, fellow comedy writers, and his own campaign team sharing the day-to-day realities of building a national coalition, "For All." dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

Dan Greaney

Category

comedy · news

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

24 Feb 2026

Latest episode

7 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

10 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   7 Oct 2026

   Conan’s Endorsement, Health Care, and Pancake Politics | Running For President: The Podcast

   What We Talked About: * Conan O’Brien Shoutout: The Simpsons creator Matt Groening brings up Dan Greaney’s presidential bid on the Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend podcast, prompting Conan to declare “I’ll vote for him.” (https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Oc1KNJEURzs?feature=share) * Pancake Politics: Recapping Dan’s inspiring backyard campaign breakfast and an unfortunate brow-mopping incident with a hot pancake. * Healthcare as a Moral Duty: Drawing from T.R. Reid’s The Healing of America and Harvard expert Bill Hsiao, Dan explains why fixing healthcare requires moral conviction rather than technocratic jargon. In this episode of the Running for President podcast, candidate Dan Greaney and co-host Jeff Poliquin react to a major shoutout on Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, recap Dan’s recent backyard campaign event, and outline the campaign’s core platform on universal healthcare. Conan O’Brien, Matt Groening, and The Simpsons Predictions On a recent episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, The Simpsons (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjWPkOHk_BM) creator Matt Groening sat down with Conan O’Brien (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjWPkOHk_BM) and brought up Dan’s real-life presidential campaign. Conan didn’t hesitate with his response: “I’ll vote for him.” Dan and Conan go back to their college days at the Harvard Lampoon, where they both served as the legendary publication’s president. Conan was also the publication’s only two-term president in history, a formidable legacy Dan remembered well before either of them entered television. The shoutout also highlights one of television’s most famous pop-culture predictions. Dan Greaney wrote the 2000 Simpsons episode “Bart to the Future,” that forecast a Donald Trump presidency. What was pitched in the writers’ room as an absurd idea eventually became a grim reality. Backyard Diplomacy and Health Care in America Traditional political campaigns rely on high-dollar fundraisers, but Dan’s campaign recently tested a much simpler tactic: a backyard pancake breakfast. Hosted in the backyard of TV writer Donick Cary, in a space famous for hosting charity concerts (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/music/music-news/how-a-parks-rec-ep-728304/), and featuring an introduction by Simpsons veteran Brent Forrester (and friend of this campaign (https://www.wired.com/story/simpsons-writer-dan-greaney-holds-his-first-presidential-campaign-rally/)), the gathering drew about 50 supporters for flapjacks and important conversations. The morning delivered genuine community energy along with a slight campaign mishap when young influencer convinced Dan to mop his brow with a hot pancake on camera. Ouch. When turning to policy, Dan focused on a central part of his platform (https://dangreaneyusa.com/issues): universal healthcare. Pointing to polling that shows over 66% of Americans agree on the need for major healthcare reform, Dan argued that the current system’s failures (https://www.instagram.com/reel/DdjUf8FqBFD/?hl=en) are a primary indicator that Washington is failing to deliver what the public wants. To help design his approach, Dan turned to T.R. Reid’s book The Healing of America (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Healing_of_America) and the research of Harvard Professor Bill Hsiao (https://hsph.harvard.edu/profile/william-hsiao/), who advised healthcare system transitions in Switzerland and Taiwan. Hsiao’s core finding was a country must first establish a shared moral commitment to care for its citizens. Once that moral foundation is set, the technical details can be sorted out. Running as a “Progressive Republican” gives Dan a unique vantage point on healthcare reform. Rather than viewing universal coverage as an extreme policy, Dan anchors his platform in the legacy of Teddy Roosevelt’s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu4QeVaL7sc) 1912 Progressive Party and Republican Mitt Romney’s healthcare reform in Massachusetts (https://www.npr.org/sections/itsallpolitics/2015/10/23/451200436/mitt-romney-finally-takes-credit-for-obamacare). By framing healthcare and his other campaign platforms around human dignity and public demand, Dan Greaney is building a coalition among everyday voters of all political parties who want a country that works FOR ALL. SUPPORT THE ‘FOR ALL’ MOVEMENT Explore the Dan Greaney USA platform, learn how to volunteer, check out upcoming events, and learn more at dangreaneyusa.com (https://dangreaneyusa.com/). This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

2. 

   1 Oct 2026

   Simpsons Writer asks FDR & Teddy How to Stop Inflation | Between Two Roosevelts

   Between Two Roosevelts is back. This time US Presidential Candidate and Simpsons writer Dan Greaney (http://dangreaneyusa.com) sits "Between Two Roosevelts (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com/p/i-sat-between-two-roosevelts-for)" — Theodore Roosevelt (Josh Weinstein (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josh_Weinstein)) and Franklin D. Roosevelt (Brent Forrester (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brent_Forrester)) — to tackle one of the biggest economic challenges facing Americans today: inflation and the rising cost of living. From gold standards and tariffs to wartime economics, the group debates how leadership should protect the American worker and economy. You can watch the debate at the top of this post. Do you want to see more videos like this? Let us know in the comments! Thank you for being a part of this presidential journey “For All.” www.dangreaneyusa.com (http://www.dangreaneyusa.com) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

3. 

   26 Sept 2026

   Running For President: The Podcast with our guest Reed Galen

   What We Talked About: * Breaking the Duopoly: Reed Galen cites public polling showing that 50% of Americans reject both major parties, explaining why the system desperately needs fresh competition. * Ditching the “Moderate” Label: Why Reed dislikes the word moderate, and how Dan’s “Progressive Republican” platform channels Teddy Roosevelt’s trust-busting, constitutional focus. * Entertainment Not Lectures: Why owning The Simpsons connection and giving voters a show (https://nypost.com/2026/05/26/us-news/top-writer-on-the-simpsons-known-as-the-prophet-launches-run-for-president/) is smarter politics than reading off spreadsheets. * Campaign Tactics: Practical advice from John McCain’s 2008 presidential bid on keeping costs low, focusing on New Hampshire, and leveraging the power of having nothing to lose. If you want to disrupt the political establishment, it helps to talk to someone who spent decades operating it from the inside. In this episode of Running for President, Dan Greaney (https://www.instagram.com/dangreaneyusa) and Jeff Poliquin (https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1442456/) sit down with The Lincoln Project co-founder Reed Galen (https://substack.com/profile/5221618-reed-galen) for an honest conversation about modern campaign tactics, party politics, and what it really takes to run as an outsider candidate. Reed spent over two decades in high-level Republican politics, working on George W. Bush’s 2000 and 2004 presidential campaigns, John McCain’s 2008 campaign, and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 2006 California gubernatorial reelection. In 2016, he left the party, eventually co-founding The Lincoln Project (https://lincolnproject.us/lincoln-project-announcement-regarding-reed-galen/), launching the pro-democracy grassroots organization The Union (https://www.jointheunion.us/), and writing his Substack publication, (https://reedgalen.substack.com/)The Home Front (https://reedgalen.substack.com/). (https://reedgalen.substack.com/) Today, he views American politics as a system locked into a two-party machine where, as Reed cites from public polling, fully 50% of the country refuses to align with either major party. That broad voter disconnect forms the backdrop for Dan’s presidential campaign “For All”. For Dan’s platform, grounded in constitutional democracy, equal opportunity, and a distrust of concentrated power, Reed agrees that channeling Teddy Roosevelt’s trust-busting legacy gives voters something far more solid to grab onto than squishy political labels. “I hate the word moderate.... The truth is that most people that call themselves moderates are the same people that call themselves centrist... they have views that are lightly held.” The discussion also tackles one of the most common questions Dan has heard since announcing he was running for President in May 2026: Is this a joke? (The short answer: no it’s not.) Rather than downplaying his background as a writer for The Simpsons, Reed advises Dan to lean directly into it. Pointing to figures like Ronald Reagan, Volodymyr Zelensky, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, Reed notes that politics has always been performance art. “If people are gonna come out for something they wanna be entertained, they don’t want to be lectured to. If they wanted that, they’re gonna go to church.” That advice fits right into Dan’s proposed “Springfields Tour” where he would visit Springfields across the country, serving donuts, holding town halls, and engaging voters. On the tactical side, Reed draws on a pivotal moment from John McCain’s 2008 presidential bid. In July 2007, as Reed recalls from his time as deputy campaign manager, after over-hiring and overspending, the McCain campaign had to lay off as much as 80% of its staff. McCain’s response was to head to New Hampshire, sit on the ground, and wait for the rest of the field to fall apart. Reed’s advice for Dan’s campaign is equally direct: “Keep your expenses low. As soon as the cash register starts running, it never stops until you’re out of money.” Instead of burning cash on bloated campaign machinery, Reed advocates focusing on high-touch ground operations in open-primary states like New Hampshire, where outsider candidates are welcomed (https://manchester.inklink.news/simpsons-writer-dan-greaney-hopes-to-embiggen-the-republican-party-and-america/) and voters appreciate direct, unscripted engagement. Looking ahead to potential debate stages against career politicians like JD Vance or Marco Rubio, Reed highlighted the main structural advantage an independent holds over party insiders: “You go into it knowing you have nothing to lose... On that stage, you would have the distinct advantage of not having to defend the last two or three years worth of stuff.” SUPPORT THE ‘FOR ALL’ MOVEMENT Explore the Dan Greaney 2028 platform, learn how to volunteer, make a small donation, check out upcoming events, and learn more at dangreaneyusa.com (http://dangreaneyusa.com). This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

4. 

   31 Aug 2026

   I Sat 'Between Two Roosevelts' for a Rousing Political Debate

   Putting 2 dead US presidents + 1 presidential candidate in front of a mic to debate modern political policy sounds like the setup for a strange joke. It isn’t—well, okay, maybe a little bit — but beneath the absurd premise lies an important political thought experiment. In the premiere of (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePsbTejuip4)Between Two Roosevelts (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePsbTejuip4), which you can watch at the top of this post, we’ve paired satire with genuine political debate, proving that while Theodore Roosevelt and Franklin D. Roosevelt may be long gone, the issues they fought for are painfully alive today. The Roosevelt Debates 2026 Here are some more highlights: * Corporate Monopolies: Theodore Roosevelt (played by Josh Weinstein (https://x.com/Joshstrangehill)) notes that today’s corporate landscape mirrors the trusts of his era, arguing that government must act as a referee to protect consumers and workers. * Systemic Disadvantages: Franklin Roosevelt (played by Brent Forrester (https://www.instagram.com/forrestercomedycourse)) agrees on checking corporate power, but pushes further by arguing government must actively support those at the bottom of the economic pyramid so citizens don’t end up on the breadline. * Government Overreach: Teddy warns against replacing corporate dominance with state overreach, cautioning against a “nanny state.” He also cites his creation of the Department of Commerce and Department of Labor as the proper model for protecting workers while giving fair businesses a square deal. *** CAMPAIGN BUTTON DESIGN WINNER: We recently held our first Dan Greaney USA design competition to see what button designs our talented community could dream up. We got a lot of fun submissions. We’re happy to unveil the winner: Ryan Castellano, one of our valued volunteers. Using inspiration from some old-timey political imagery (below), including a few shared with Dan by fellow volunteer Josh Weinstein, the winning design that Ryan submitted will be printed as an actual campaign button. We will share more of the submissions in an upcoming post (and even announce new fun competitions) so be sure to subscribe to @dangreaneyusa (https://www.instagram.com/dangreaneyusa/) here and on social media. PS - Did you know you can join Team Dan Greaney as a volunteer? Head over to the campaign website to see the ways you can help us create an America (https://dangreaneyusa.com/volunteer)For All. (https://dangreaneyusa.com/volunteer) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

5. 

   4 Aug 2026

   Running For President: The Podcast - Ep. 3

   Talking Points: * Hitting the Trail in “Candidate Casual”: Dan heads to New Hampshire and Massachusetts to talk with voters, trading a suit for cuffed blue sleeves, while navigating rainstorms, town officials, and impromptu town halls. * Addressing the Qualification Question: Confronted by skeptical voters about running for president without prior elected office, Dan reframes the debate: high-resume politicians with bad values simply execute bad policies more efficiently. * Voter Realities vs. Institutional Crises: Dan discovers voters are far more focused on granular healthcare solutions than Supreme Court expansion. * An Anthem for All of America: Dan selects James Brown’s “Living in America” as the campaign’s official song, embracing an inclusive funk energy over cliché political imagery. What happens when an unconventional (but well-dressed) presidential candidate leaves the West Coast and hits the pavement in New England? In this episode, Dan Greaney (https://www.instagram.com/dangreaneyusa/) unpacks his 4th of July campaign tour (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com/p/campaign-trail-talking-to-strangers) through New Hampshire and Massachusetts with co-host Jeff Poliquin. On the road, Dan debuted a blue shirt and cuffed-sleeve “candidate casual” look and set up two chairs on a town green with a simple sign: Let’s Talk. From getting moved off the plaza by local officials to holding impromptu rain-soaked conversations under a tree, being on the road gave the campaign a real taste of grassroots voter interaction. The trip brought plenty of honest skepticism. When voters questioned his qualifications and lack of prior elected office, Dan offered a straightforward response: A long political resume means very little if it’s attached to bad values — it just means executing bad policies with higher efficiency. The road trip also served as a valuable reality check. While Dan originally launched his run centered on Supreme Court reform and institutional crises (https://dangreaneyusa.com/issues), the voters he met were laser-focused on everyday issues like healthcare. To wrap things up on a lighter note, Jeff and Dan talked campaign music, bypassing political clichés to choose James Brown’s “Living in America” — a funky, inclusive anthem for all of America, from rural towns to city streets. Besides, it carries the ultimate endorsement: if a track is iconic enough for Apollo Creed, it’s more than good enough for a presidential run. (And as both hosts firmly agree, Rocky IV is objectively the greatest movie in the entire saga — no debate needed). SUPPORT THE ‘FOR ALL’ MOVEMENT Explore the Dan Greaney platform, learn how to volunteer, check out upcoming events, and learn more at dangreaneyusa.com (https://dangreaneyusa.com). This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

6. 

   18 Jul 2026

   Running For President: The Podcast

   In the second episode, Candidate Dan Greaney and co-host Jeff Poliquin are joined by Dan Greaney USA Campaign Director Mieke Marple to discuss breaking through political stigmas, reforming the judiciary, and building a populist movement. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

7. 

   10 Jul 2026

   DAN ON NEWSNATION: From Springfield to the 2028 Campaign Trail

   It might be humorous, but it’s no joke. Dan Greaney (as readers of this newsletter know is notable for writing the famous episode of The Simpsons that foresaw a Donald Trump presidency) recently sat down with 24/7 television news channel NewsNation (https://www.newsnationnow.com/politics/dan-greaney-simpsons-writer-runs-for-president/) to discuss his platform as an officially declared 2028 Republican presidential candidate. During the in-depth conversation, Greaney traced the line between his comedy career and current political ambitions, detailing a platform that challenges modern partisan alignment. You can watch the news appearance from the 2028 Presidential Candidate at the top of this post. If you do, please let us know if the platform resonated with you in the comments. The Blueprint of a Campaign The June 23, 2026 NewsNation interview opened with a look back at the roots of his political clairvoyance. Dan Greaney recalled that when crafting the script for the forward-looking The Simpsons episode “Bart to the Future,” the writers needed to invent a scenario where the United States was “in such terrible shape” that Lisa Simpson would desperately need her brother Bart’s help to handle the crisis. While another Simpsons writer initially suggested casting actor Johnny Depp as the disastrous predecessor in the fictional timeline, Greaney rejected the idea. He argued that a highly frustrated American public would instead favor “somebody who promises them everything” — recommending Donald Trump, a choice that materialized in reality sixteen years later. Addressing skeptics who view his comedy background with doubt, he emphasized that the campaign is a serious endeavor aimed at breaking through modern polarization. But Why Progressive Republican? Dan Greaney is running for President as a “progressive Republican,” a label he links straight back to the historical foundations of his party. Politically placing himself “somewhere between the two Roosevelts,” he said his policy objectives align closely with a centrist, pragmatic tradition modeled by figures like Abraham Lincoln, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and of course, Teddy Roosevelt. To counter modern political divisions, Greaney explicitly backs several policy measures traditionally associated with the political left, including universal healthcare, climate action, and the expansion of the U.S. Supreme Court. He reminded viewers that Teddy Roosevelt championed universal healthcare later in his life and pioneered the National Parks system, illustrating a model of practical, patriotic progressivism that Greaney believes the modern Republican party should reclaim. Dan Greaney’s campaign operates on the premise that comedy, at its best, is an exercise in unearthing uncomfortable truths, and by dusting off a forgotten "progressive Republican" tradition, he is offering an alternative to modern partisan tribalism. As the political establishment reads from a tired script, he’s giving voters a chance to write a brand-new chapter. For all. (https://dangreaneyusa.com/) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

8. 

   22 Jun 2026

   I Held a Presidential Campaign Rally for 30 People, including Elsa and Darth Vader

   This is my first time running for President of the United States (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com/p/i-write-comedy-so-why-am-i-running) so I didn't know what to expect on that summer afternoon when I pulled up at the park we'd chosen for my campaign kick-off event. We selected Silver Lake Meadow, on the edge of the reservoir on the east side of Los Angeles, only after running into roadblocks on locations I knew better. My campaign director Mieke Marple (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com/cp/195904982) had gone in person and checked it out, and I had a vague recollection from previous visits to the area, but it was still a bit of an unknown. On top of other, larger unknowns I felt anxiety: What was I doing holding a kick-off event for a presidential campaign? What was going to happen? Would anyone even show up? So it was with relief, and more, something almost approaching enchantment, that I stepped through the shrubbery enclosing the park to see two crisp white tents at one end of a long green lawn. It had something of a summer wedding look. How lovely. How... relaxing. Who doesn’t like a summer wedding? I had to remind myself I wasn’t there for a wedding. But I was there to ask America for its hand. The podium with the American flags behind me back to the moment, to what we were really doing here. Especially the flag. That gave me pause. Are we really doing this? Who do I think I am to stand by an American flag? I went over to the tents where a couple of friends and Dan Greaney USA (https://dangreaneyusa.com/) team members were still getting things ready. They were setting up a second flag — and I could see more waiting to be unpacked. Several more. If one was presumptuous, a bunch seemed almost, well, Trumpy. (It didn’t help that the boxes said “Made in China,” a la Trump.) I went over to Mieke, who was busy with a million other things. “I’m not sure we need so many flags,” I said. She looked at me with puzzlement “Maybe one’s enough. How many do we have?” “Six.” I looked dubious. “It’s a political rally. American flags are classic. “ I hesitated. “Trust me,” she said. “I know visuals,” dismissing my doubts with a laugh. Her laugh was reassuring, putting it all into perspective. As if to say, this is stage-fright, this is normal. Keep going. She was right. Nerves were definitely part of it, but the Stars and Stripes were, too. The act of standing next to the US Flag — of, in effect, claiming it. It seemed presumptuous. Deep down, in spite of my skepticism towards sentimentality, I have always taken the flag seriously. In a sense, my campaign had started with the American flag. THE FLAG IS FOR ALL If Trump’s reelection was the “inciting event” (we all talk like screenwriters now, right?) that moved my story into “rising action”, the real political epiphany occurred to me back in June of 2022. I was spending the weeks before the 4th of July in a rented house on the Massachusetts coast. When I wasn’t seeing friends or family, I spent the beautiful days of an early New England summer indoors watching the House January 6 Committee. One morning, after watching all the testimony I could stomach, I went for a walk down the historic town’s main street, passing the old cemetery where little American flags had been placed beside the headstones of veterans in observance of Memorial Day a few weeks before. I had always seen the custom of decorating graves for Memorial Day as a touching, old-fashioned gesture of appreciation. But now those flags reminded me of the January 6 mob. The rioters had carried the symbol of our Nation, including desecrated versions of it with Trump’s name and scowling face. They had claimed the flag for their distorted version of America; for their ill-defined patriotism. Standing in front of that cemetery, I realized that I now regarded the flag with mixed feelings verging on disgust — and I resented that. How could I feel that way? This was the flag my father had fought under in WW2. The flag so many had fought under to preserve our country. The flag of the Union. It stood for something far nobler than Trumpism. I went home and looked up the Gettysburg address, which I vaguely recalled as articulating a powerful definition of American patriotism. (Spoiler: it does). President Lincoln justified sacrifices of the union soldiers by connecting their deaths to the profound moral principle in the Declaration of Independence that all men are created equal — and through historic importance of giving this principle life in a democratic system of government. That’s it, I thought. That’s what real American patriotism is — a commitment to the equal dignity of all people and the democratic institutions that gives it life. We need to reclaim the flag for that. So, naturally, I wrote a letter to the Biden White House urging the president to make a second Gettysburg address to reclaim the flag for democracy. I’m still waiting for a reply… My experience at the cemetery and my re-reading of the Gettysburg address marked a turning point for me. I became convinced that the great principles of equality and democracy were at stake in the struggle with Trumpism, and that real patriotism required standing up for these ideals. When Trump returned to office, largely through the obstruction of justice of the Roberts Supreme Court, as well as the tech CEOs and billionaires aligning themselves with a man who had already openly tried to destroy our democracy, I felt compelled to do something in defense of the values they were betraying. That led me to post my first viral video in 2025 predicting Trump’s downfall (https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLIS7YPRlC0/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==), and now to the presidential campaign I had come to kick-off in 2026. My actions were an expression of the version of American patriotism found in Lincoln’s Gettysburg address: a commitment to equal value of all people and of a democratic system of government to give that value life. My platform and everything else I was doing was rooted in rooted in that type of patriotism. Of course, I didn’t remember all of this personal history while I was sizing up the flag situation the morning of my first campaign rally. I was mainly just embarrassed. But if standing up for the flag meant standing next to it, then so be it. I swallowed and accepted Mieke’s pushback. Six flags it would be. READ MORE: WIRED FEATURE ON MY CAMPAIGN RALLY Thanks to Wired and @milesklee (https://www.instagram.com/milesklee/) for featuring our humble-but-mighty Presidential Campaign Launch. www.wired.com/story/simpsons-writer-dan-greaney-holds-his-first-presidential-campaign-rally (http://www.wired.com/story/simpsons-writer-dan-greaney-holds-his-first-presidential-campaign-rally) Our team finished the set up, and the first few audience members started filtering in. Old friends, at first, and it was wonderful to see them. Then some strangers I was very happy to meet. Darth Vader, Elsa, and Uncle Sam even stopped by to show support. And then, as the time for the official kick-off approached, the filtering stopped. This was it. The devoted people who’d shown up early were the entire audience — maybe 30 or so. Quite a bit smaller than I, at least, had expected. Was this a failure? Was it sad? I worried. We nudged the small audience as close to the podium as we could — of course, nobody wanted to be too close. This is something that I, as a lifetime closest-seat-to-the-door-sitter, well understood. Mieke Marple (https://substack.com/profile/30032960-mieke-marple) stepped up to the mic and got the ball rolling with poise and conviction. Then Brent Forrester (https://www.brentforrester.com/), an old friend from The Simpsons and a legendary comedy writer, performer and teacher, gave me a million-watt introduction that would have made Lincoln blush. And then it was my turn. I started a bit awkwardly, but forgot myself as I went into my speech, which connected my campaign to the principles articulated in the Gettysburg address. I forgot my self-doubt because I don’t doubt these principles. I don’t doubt the equal value of all people. I don’t doubt the importance of democracy to give this principle life. I don’t doubt that these principles are worth standing up for — even if that standing up happens in front of way too many American flags. I wrapped up my speech and our small-but-mighty audience reacted warmly. They seemed to like it — to share in the sentiments I expressed. Then I remembered why I am doing this. For All. A lovely, joyful mood seemed to come over the event, rather like a summer wedding after all. -Dan Greaney (@dangreaneyusa (https://www.instagram.com/dangreaneyusa/)) This Movement Needs You Many great volunteers have already signed up to take this humble campaign to the next level. Can you help us enact real, positive change? Fill out the volunteer form on my website and we will be in touch. (https://dangreaneyusa.com/volunteer) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

9. 

   8 Apr 2026

   Thinner, Hotter, Richer, Freer: Why America Needs a Self-Improvement Plan

   Demonstrations aren’t in my comfort zone. I dislike crowds, dread chaos, fear stridency, deplore theatricality and hate drum circles with a burning passion. But for the No Kings protest in March I was on mission —with my prophet costume (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com/p/behind-the-beard-why-i-put-on-a-prophet) on the seat beside me. On my way to the No Kings protest in Downtown LA, I stopped to let a hippie couple with matching grey ponytails and hand-lettered signs cross in front of me. As they crossed, I found myself slightly annoyed by their cliched hippieness — and defensive about the glance they cast towards me as I waited in my SUV. “I’m going to the protest, too!” I wanted to tell them. “I’m going to the bigger protest! The real one, downtown, not the light-weight, white bread one here in Santa Monica! I’m more real than you!” Thankfully, I said nothing. But feeling my own annoyance at their smug, hippy shtick (okay, I’m doing it again) and my defensiveness, reminded me that even while standing up for democracy, I have strong jerk tendencies — and, more broadly, that MAGA and progressives alike have their a*****e sides. Maybe this is what will bring us back together… On the highway, I passed a bridge where demonstrators held “No Kings” signs. I wanted to honk in support, but even this small gesture made me feel self-conscious. I managed the meekest of toots as I passed under the bridge, like what you might give to a lowered El Camino or a lifted Dodge Ram that didn’t move when the light changed. This impulse says more about me than the other people. As we approached the center of the protest at City Hall, the clamor of the crowd swelled, and the sidewalks choked with sausage vendors. They smelled delicious, but it was way too early for lunch. Oh, and duty called. I was there to gather footage for my social media account (https://www.instagram.com/dangreaneyusa/) — and to protest Trump, of course… right, yes, absolutely! That meant putting on my prophet costume, choosing my “The end of Trump is near” sign and talking to people about why they were there and how they saw the future. To my surprise, almost everyone I approached agreed to talk to me, even though I was going to post it and our conversations instantly attracted the lenses of about a billion other content miners. My prophet costume gave me a way in. There’s a lesson here that I probably shouldn’t learn. And what the people had to say surprised me. At the Santa Monica No Kings marches I had previously attended, the mood had been festive. Like a block party might be, if those actually existed. (I’ve never been to one, but they sound fun.) There was music, dancing and a lot of nodding appreciatively at each other’s signs to show that we got the pun. Downtown, there was no mood. The crowd was a conglomerate of widely different types and vibes. There were clumps of somewhat similar-seeming people: SEIU union members in matching purple t-shirts, Mexican folklorico dancers (maybe just standers; I didn’t see them dance) in hoop skirts, a cohort of young people in black shirts and possibly Palestinian scarves, a small, sheepish clique in inflatable costumed folk talking to each other and lone wolves swinging for social media stardom in striking costumes, including the Patriotic Harlequin, and I guess, me. The first person I spoke to was a middle-aged man who said he was there to protect democracy and stand up for the right to organize. He told me that his union had secured a 30% pay increase recently after years without any raise.“We’ve got to keep the union,” he told me. Next was a slim smiling man who seemed to radiate benevolence. I’m not sure what he was there for other than to affirm everyone. I was a bit uncomfortable when he hugged me but, you know, it was okay. I was more uncomfortable when a young woman I approached immediately launched into a fierce condemnation of Israel. I deeply disapprove of Israel’s actions in Gaza, Iran and, now, Lebanon, but her sharp, angry and unapologetic tone was new to me. I felt an impulse to back away, but then I thought: this is why I’m here, to find out what people think, and this is what she thinks. She has a right to this view. It’s good for me to hear it, even if it makes me uncomfortable I had a similar reaction when a cool tattooed guy suddenly erupted into a furious, red-faced diatribe directed mainly at Trump, but also partly at me for remarking on his anger. His anger alarmed me... but I got it. Who am I to police his tone? Anger is a valid reaction, maybe a necessary one, even if it makes me uncomfortable. It’s good for me to hear. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t there just to protest against Trump. I was there to, well, grow as a person. To push back at my limitations: my avoidance of civic engagement, my rejection of displays of emotion, my inhibition about honking, my judgement of hippies. My horror at the idea of putting on a costume and going out in public, for that matter. This protest was, among other things, an opportunity for self-improvement. And, yes, of course, I know that the desire for self-improvement is hopelessly dorky and earnest and uncool. But I have a persistent case, and, frankly, so does America. America’s Self-Improvement Plan The aspiration to improve has been a central theme to American culture all the way back to the Puritans. America’s true presiding genius, Ben Franklin, was an inveterate self-improver, and his famous best-selling autobiography was largely a tutorial for improving yourself and getting ahead, setting a pattern which continued from Emerson’s “Self-Reliance,” and Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” to “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and “Thinner Thighs in 30 Days.” Americans have always been addicted to the idea of self-improvement, and, hopefully, getting thinner, sexier and richer in the process. It occurred to me that this is how we should look at this fraught moment in our nation’s history: as an opportunity for personal and national self-improvement. For much if not all of my life, we have been framing our public projects and conflicts as wars: the war on drugs, on inflation, on crime, on Christmas, on woke, on what-have-you. None of these wars ever seems to have been won, or ended in any way that left anyone feeling any better. We need a better metaphor, and I think self-improvement could be it. It’s in the American grain and frankly it makes sense. We’re not here to eradicate each other, but to work though the obstacles, internal and external, that prevent us from cooperating and coexisting happily — or at least less happily. This reframing could lead us to see the other side — whether we define that politically, culturally, or God help us, by immigration status — as partners in a shared project of working though our differences. It might be uncomfortable, but pushing at our limitations is what brings growth, and growth brings confidence, and confidence makes us more active — which will make us thinner, hotter and richer, both as people and as a country. To find out more about how reframing our national crisis as an opportunity for self-improvement can make you thinner, hotter and richer, subscribe to this Substack. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

10. 

    24 Feb 2026

    LIVE ON STAGE: SIMPSONS WRITERS PREDICT THE FUTURE

    Brent Forrester wrote classic The Simpsons episodes like “Homerpalooza. I predicted the Trump presidency (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com/p/behind-the-beard-why-i-put-on-a-prophet) on “Bart to the Future”. We’re not just comedy writers. We’re also Prophets. We wrote jokes that predicted the future (for better or worse) on The Simpsons. Now we’re telling the stories live LIVE. (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/simpsons-writers-predict-the-future-tickets-1983280047009) Together we’re going on stage in Los Angeles to share the secrets of The Simpsons writers room of the 1990s, and make new predictions about the future of America. SIMPSONS WRITERS PREDICT THE FUTURE Two Emmy-winning writers for The Simpsons (plus special guests!) explore the uncanny phenomenon of The Simpsons predicting the future. When: Saturday, February 28th, 2026 Where: Lyric Hyperion Theater & Cafe (2106 Hyperion Ave.) Time: Doors 5:10 PM | Show 5:30 PM Cost: $20 w/ fees (Cheap!) Note: Late arrivals will be turned away 20 minutes after start. Who’s on the panel? Brent Forrester A multi-Emmy-winning comedy powerhouse, Brent Forrester joined The Simpsons during its mid-90s “Golden Era,” penning fan-favorite episodes like “Homerpalooza” and “Lemon of Troy.” His prolific career includes The Office, King of the Hill, Space Force and Mr. Show with Bob and David. Dan Greaney is a longtime writer/producer for The Simpsons — and self-proclaimed Prophet (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com/p/behind-the-beard-why-i-put-on-a-prophet), a claim founded on a reference to a Trump presidency in his 2000 episode “Bart to the Future.” His bold 2025 prediction of the fall of Trump has already not come true. This is his Substack and if you’re reading this far thank you for subscribing! Special Guests: Ian Maxtone-Graham (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Maxtone-Graham) joined The Simpsons in 1995 after a stint at Saturday Night Live, and became one of its most influential voices for nearly 20 years, serving as an executive producer and writer for some of the show’s most ambitious and lauded episodes. His 1997 episode “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson” included an image interpreted by some as a prophecy of the September 11 attack on the World Trade Centers. Dan Vebber (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Vebber) is a versatile comedy writer with a deep pedigree in iconic adult animation. In addition to his work on The Simpsons, he has been a writer and producer for Futurama, American Dad!, and Daria. His career began in the experimental world of late-night comedy as a writer for the cult-hit Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Bill Oakley (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Oakley) (appearing via video) is a legendary showrunner and writer and one-half of the duo who ran The Simpsons during Seasons 7 and 8 . He is the mastermind behind the “Steamed Hams” segment, which has transcended the show to become a massive viral phenomenon. Outside of television, where he also co-created Mission Hill, Oakley has found fame as a prominent food influencer and chronicler of American cuisine. Jeff Martin (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Martin_(writer)) was a foundational member of the original Simpsons writing staff (Seasons 2–5), joining the show after a successful run at Late Night with David Letterman. He is credited with writing some of the show’s most musical and beloved early episodes. After a twenty-year hiatus, Martin made a celebrated return to the series during Seasons 27 and 28. Madam Mystique (https://miekemarple.substack.com/) is from the belly of Los Angeles — born somewhere between a Silver Lake sound bath and a Downtown back alley. At 600 years old, she wears a robe from Jezebel’s Fascination and a questionably appropriative turban. She correctly predicted the 2008 housing crash and the rise of influencers hawking green powders and enlightenment on Instagram. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dangreaneyusa.substack.com (https://dangreaneyusa.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

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