Sanity Optional

About Sanity Optional

Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Sanity is optional.

Publisher

Speakeasy Studios

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

4 Mar 2026

Latest episode

22 Jul 2026

Latest episodes

17 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   22 Jul 2026

   When Being the Strong One Breaks You | Sanity Optional | Episode 17

   In this episode, Alexis gets into what happens when you've spent so long being everyone's safe space that you've completely lost track of your own. She talks directly to the helpers, the caretakers, the oldest daughters, the nurses, the therapists, the teachers, and anyone who has quietly become the emotional backbone of everyone around them while nobody thinks to ask how they're doing. Alexis breaks down why endless giving often starts as survival and not strength, what compassion fatigue actually feels like from the inside, and why drawing a boundary can feel like becoming the villain even when it's the healthiest thing you've ever done. She also gets into why helpers tend to date emotionally unavailable people, what it means to mistake being needed for being loved, and what your life actually looks like when you stop abandoning yourself to take care of everyone else. Timestamps00:00 The Weight of Being the Strong One04:36 Boundaries vs. Self-Abandonment08:04 Roots of the Caretaker Identity11:39 Patterns in Rescuing and Relationships15:28 Healing from Compassion Fatigue ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

2. 

   15 Jul 2026

   You Don't Have to Have a Calling | Sanity Optional | Episode 16

   In this episode, Alexis gets into one of the quietest crises she sees in her work: people who have done everything right and still feel empty. She talks about what happens when your identity is built around achievement, why hustle culture is just another way of avoiding yourself, and why purpose doesn't have to be some grand, singular calling. It can just be loving your life.Alexis also gets into what it looks like to stop performing and actually find out who you are underneath it all, why nobody is coming to save you and why that's actually good news, and what it means to finally choose yourself instead of waiting to be chosen by someone else. Timestamps00:00 Finding Purpose and Your True Calling04:06 The Dangers of Hustle and Healing Culture08:29 Defining Value and Navigating Life’s Disappointments12:06 Unpacking Addictions and Taking Responsibility16:12 Love, Self-Worth, and Emotional Patterns21:09 Embracing Play Over Performance ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

3. 

   9 Jul 2026

   Why You're Afraid of Your Own Feelings | Sanity Optional | Episode 15

   In this episode, Alexis breaks down the emotions most people spend their lives trying to avoid and explains why avoiding them is exactly what keeps people stuck. She walks through the fear family, sadness, anger, shame, disgust, and more, getting into where each one comes from, what it's actually trying to tell you, and what it takes to heal it.Alexis also gets into the fears that quietly run people's lives, from the fear of death and failure to the fear of being seen, being left, or never becoming who they were supposed to be. She makes the case that no emotion is actually bad, and that the relationship you build with your own inner life is the most important one you'll ever have. Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Negative Emotions01:12 Understanding and Healing Fear05:47 Exploring the Sadness Family07:27 The Dynamics of Anger08:55 Navigating Shame and Guilt11:29 Disgust and Social Rigidity13:35 Threat to Self & Vulnerability14:48 Existential Emotions & Overwhelm18:10 Confronting the Fear of Death21:18 Living Wrong & Feeling Stuck25:17 Fear of Loss and Change27:00 Meaning, Purpose, and Uniqueness28:47 Embarrassment & Knowing Yourself31:00 False Identity & Dying Alone33:10 Career, Money, and Success Fears35:29 Relationship & Breakup Fears40:02 The Fear of Being a Bad Person41:09 Friendship Fears & Humiliation44:17 Core Fears and Healing ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

4. 

   1 Jul 2026

   Who Are You Really? Identity, Ego, and Coming Home to Yourself | Sanity Optional | Episode 14

   In this episode, Alexis digs into one of the most disorienting questions you can ask yourself: who are you, actually? She breaks down the difference between identity and ego, why so many people are living out a version of themselves built around earning love or staying safe, and what it feels like when you finally stop performing and start just being.Alexis gets into the nervous system roots of people-pleasing and overachieving, why reinventing yourself is healthy and not a crisis, and how rigid family systems quietly shape the way we see ourselves for decades. She also gets into ego death, the shadow self, and why coming home to your identity isn't a destination so much as a practice. Timestamps00:00 Identity vs. Ego02:37 Healthy vs. Unhealthy Ego06:32 Defining Self: Who Am I?09:42 Fluidity of Identity12:51 Chosen vs. Inherited Identity16:03 Authenticity and Relationships19:50 Self-Love and Validation22:32 Human Nature and Shadow Self26:17 Reinvention and Growth29:43 Exiting the Matrix of Fear33:04 The Power of Authenticity36:17 Outgrowing Family Identity39:10 The Pitfalls of Labels43:33 Online vs. Authentic Self47:25 AI, Brands, and Purpose51:17 Embracing Life’s Waves ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

5. 

   27 May 2026

   The History of Mental Health: How We Got Here and Why It Matters | Sanity Optional | Episode 13

   In this episode, Alexis gets into something she has been wanting to cover for a while: the history of mental health. And it is not a comfortable story. From spinning chairs and ice pick lobotomies to forced sterilizations funded by Rockefeller and Carnegie, she walks through how we got here and why so many people still carry a deep fear of mental institutions and psychiatric care. She also gets into the moments when humanity actually got it right, the Quakers, and what happened every single time kindness and community proved more effective than medication and control. Spoiler: it got shut down. Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Mental Health History03:13 Early Mental Health Treatments09:27 Humanitarian Reforms & Setbacks14:02 Eugenics Movement in Mental Health16:47 Brutal 20th Century ‘Treatments’20:03 Lobotomy and Chemical Lobotomy33:26 Reflecting on Mental Health History ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

6. 

   20 May 2026

   Hypnosis, Hope, and Importance of Kindness | Sanity Optional | Episode 12

   This episode does not have a tidy theme and Alexis is the first to admit it. She starts with some genuinely good news, talks about quitting vaping through hypnosis after two years of trying everything else, and then goes somewhere bigger. She gets into why everyone has become so mean online, why we have lost the ability to have fun, and why the loneliness epidemic is not going to be solved by anyone at the top of the room. She also gets into hope, excitement, community, and why the small choices we make every single day matter more than we think. Timestamps 00:00 Quitting Nicotine: A Personal Journey03:00 Hypnosis: The Breakthrough Solution06:40 The Rise of Judgment and Fear09:50 Social Media’s Impact and Loneliness13:00 Embracing Imperfection and Connection17:28 Prioritizing Real-Life Interaction19:38 Economic Disparity and Lack of Empathy24:52 Rekindling Hope, Excitement, and Community29:50 Workplace Fun and Kindness32:40 The Power of Small Choices and Kindness ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

7. 

   13 May 2026

   ChatGPT vs. Therapist: Stop Asking the Computer and Start Asking Each Other | Sanity Optional | Episode 11

   Alexis has a bone to pick with ChatGPT. She works through the most googled mental health, sex, and dating questions and makes the case that most of what people are searching for has nothing to do with information; it’s about wanting to know that someone else feels the same way. She also gets into burnout culture, why community has quietly disappeared from modern life, and why the simple act of talking to a stranger might be more healing than anything you will find on a screen. Timestamps00:00 ChatGPT vs. Therapist01:36 ChatGPT’s Offense: Therapist to Therapist04:00 Is What I’m Feeling Normal?06:56 Coping with Stress: It’s Not That Serious08:11 Sex Drive and Body Normality09:37 Feeling Stuck and Burnt Out12:12 Dating: Why Can’t I Find Someone?14:31 Funny Questions and Texting Etiquette16:40 The Fear of Human Connection17:50 ChatGPT as a Tool, Not a Replacement21:07 Bringing Back Community and Connection ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

8. 

   6 May 2026

   The Sex Episode: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body | Sanity Optional | Episode 10

   The sex episode is here, and it goes somewhere unexpected. Alexis starts with performance anxiety, orgasmic disorder, and why we are all so weird about sex in America, before pivoting into the conversation she really wanted to have. The one nobody wants to have. She gets into sexual safety, predatory behavior, how to talk to your kids about body safety, and what she learned from the years she spent working with some of the most dangerous people she has ever encountered. She closes with a reminder that whatever happened to you does not leave a mark you cannot heal from, and that you deserve to thrive, not just survive. ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

9. 

   29 Apr 2026

   The Dating Episode: The More You Heal the Better It Gets | Sanity Optional | Episode 9

   In this episode, Alexis gets into dating habits, and she does not hold back. She starts with a quick history of how we got here, from property arrangements and goats to situationships and Instagram story surveillance, and makes the case that nobody ever actually taught us how to do any of this. From there she gets into why dating apps are burning everyone out, why meeting in person is worth bringing back, and what it actually means to date with intention instead of just swiping into a void. She also works through a list of the most Googled dating questions out there, from ghosting to breadcrumbing to whether liking someone's story counts as a personality disorder. Timestamps00:00 The Struggle of Modern Dating03:36 Life Updates and Celebrations05:13 Evolution of Dating Habits11:36 Defining Modern Partnerships14:14 Dating App Burnout and Honesty21:58 The Art of In-Person Connections26:07 Dating with Confidence and Values31:22 Intentional Dating and Self-Worth35:00 Become the Person You Want to Date37:13 Exclusivity, Standards, and Pace39:59 Handling Rejection and Commitment43:19 Signs of Wasted Time43:38 When You Like Someone More44:14 Decoding Vague Communication45:54 Emotional Avoidance vs. ADHD48:00 Why You Become Irresistible49:12 Dealing with Non-Committal Behavior50:29 Avoiding Breadcrumbing and Unresolved Trauma52:17 Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners54:51 Healing Makes Dating Better ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

10. 

    22 Apr 2026

    The Women's Episode: As I Am, I Am Enough | Sanity Optional | Episode 8

    The Women's Episode is finally here. Alexis comes in with a lot of coffee and a lot to say about the generation of women she sees behind closed doors every week. Women who are running companies, raising kids, doing everything right, and still standing in the mirror telling themselves it is not enough. She gets into where that perfectionism comes from, why so many women have repressed rage they have never been given permission to feel, and what it actually looks like to stop letting the world evaluate you and start evaluating yourself. She also gets into shadow work, the rules of your kingdom, the pizza order, and why she is officially retiring the word boundaries. Timestamps00:00 Introduction & Allyship Statement03:18 The Pressure of Perfectionism06:26 Historical Conditioning and Emotional Intelligence12:28 Constant Evaluation & Generational Trauma22:08 Healing Perfectionism with Shadow Work31:52 Trusting Yourself & Releasing Repressed Anger38:58 Queen Bitch Energy & Kingdom Rules43:48 Metamorphosis Moment: Redefining Identity47:32 Dating: The Pizza Order & Merging Kingdoms53:49 Honest Dating: Beyond Trophies and Fear57:34 Confidence and Self-Belief ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

11. 

    15 Apr 2026

    Riding the Wave: What to Do When the Low Hits | Sanity Optional | Episode 7

    In this episode, Alexis scraps her original plan and gets into something more pressing: what actually happens when life is going great and then suddenly, for no obvious reason, it isn't. She talks about the difference between a sad wave and a real regression, why spirals happen and how to interrupt them, and why your brain is not actually trying to destroy you even when it feels like it is. She also gets into thought stopping, media sensitivity, social media doom scrolling, and why calling your funniest friend might be better medicine than you think. Timestamps00:00 Embracing Emotional Waves03:41 Impact of Media and News07:02 Weed and Sadness Triggers09:43 Understanding Mental Spirals12:46 Thought Stopping Techniques16:00 The Power of Communication20:15 Self-Care and Distraction24:08 Acknowledging Sadness Before Distraction26:00 Comparison and Social Media30:42 Conditional vs. Authentic Happiness ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

12. 

    8 Apr 2026

    The Men's Episode: Fear, Sex, and the Lies You Were Taught | Sanity Optional | Episode 6

    The Men's Episode is finally here. Alexis has been teasing it for a while, and she does not hold back. Drawing from a decade of working with male clients, she gets into the fears and insecurities that don't get talked about enough, and why so many men are suffering in silence when they don't have to be. She covers body image, height, porn, performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, and the financial pressure that gets mistaken for masculinity. She also makes the case that “average” is not the insult some people think it is.This episode is honest, a little unhinged, and exactly what it needs to be Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Men’s Episode03:10 Humor, Empathy, and Healing07:12 Seeking Advice & Female Friendships11:50 Therapist-Client Dynamics & Trauma16:11 The Language of Attraction & Vulnerability20:41 Shared Sexual Insecurities & Honesty24:12 Debunking Male Insecurities29:50 Societal Teasing, Porn & Sex Styles35:10 Consent and Performance40:11 The Art of Sexual Connection42:45 Historical Roots of Financial Dependence45:43 Modern Relationships and Expectations48:09 Trauma, Money, and Partner Choices49:28 Overcoming Fear and Rejection51:01 Redefining Average and Leadership53:58 Call to Action: Future Generations ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

13. 

    1 Apr 2026

    Worst Case Scenarios: What Anxiety Is Really Trying to Tell You | Sanity Optional | Episode 5

    In this episode, Alexis tackles anxiety and makes a case that it's not the enemy most people think it is. She breaks down why anxiety is really just your body's alarm system, why ignoring it only turns up the volume, and why the brain's obsession with worst-case scenarios tends to make everything worse. She gets into why anxiety spikes at night and after drinking, why so many people confuse it with intuition, and how social anxiety quietly drives a lot of binge drinking. She also covers panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, and why doom scrolling is basically a slot machine for your nervous system.This one has a panic attack on a plane, giant Mr. Rogers posters, and a seven-minute voice note sent on acid… because the best lessons usually come with a story. Timestamps00:00 Depression as a Strength04:10 Supporting Someone with Depression07:58 Understanding Anxiety11:06 Anxiety, Trauma, and the Body14:12 Overthinking and Anxiety17:00 Night Anxiety and Panic Attacks21:13 Social Anxiety and Hypervigilance27:26 Anxiety Disorders and Self-Sabotage34:24 Anxiety and Life Milestones39:35 Intrusive Thoughts and OCD43:58 Managing Anxiety at Work or School45:38 Anxiety, Caffeine, and Alcohol48:51 Social Media, Avoidance, and Medication51:01 Recovery and Building Confidence53:41 EMDR and Brainspotting Explained ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

14. 

    25 Mar 2026

    Breakups, Blueprints, and Balls. The Stories We Tell Ourselves about Relationships | Sanity Optional - Episode 4

    In this episode, Alexis picks up where she left off on relationships, and gets a little more personal along the way. She gets into why the person who seemed totally fine in the first few months of a relationship suddenly disappears. Why calm can feel more threatening than chaos. Why the fights that never get resolved are almost never actually about what you think they're about. And why so many people are having less sex, not because the attraction is gone, but because nobody ever taught them how to talk about it. This one is a little all over the place, in the best way. Note from Alexis: This episode is dedicated in loving memory of my Uncle Gary, Uncle Ben, and Uncle Tom. Though you’re no longer here, your soul and impact will always live on through the people you loved and who loved you. It is also named after my dear friend Eddie Spaghetti. Thank you for not only giving me insight, but for allowing me to approach the grief in this episode with grace through your honesty and vulnerability. Sam is always here, always with you, never forgotten and forever loved. #balls Timestamps00:00 A Moment of Silence for Grief05:06 Communicating Needs in Relationships09:09 Anxiety and Vulnerability in Love14:37 Understanding Relationship Compatibility18:23 Authenticity and Relationship Endings25:05 Maintaining Intimacy and Sex Life34:32 Overcoming Relationship Fears and Breakups ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

15. 

    18 Mar 2026

    Why You Date Who You Date | Sanity Optional - Episode 3

    In this episode, Alexis gets into why so many people crave connection and then panic the moment they actually have it. She breaks down the nervous system roots of self-sabotage, why you lose interest when someone is finally kind to you, and why you keep choosing the same person with a different face. She also gets into the difference between gut instinct and anxiety, and why vulnerability is actually the fastest way to find out if someone is worth your time.This is part one of a two-part series on relationships. Next week, Alexis gets into breakups, the fear of leaving, and how to know when it's time to walk away. Timestamps00:00 Why we fear relationships04:12 Recognizing true intuition in relationships08:55 Sabotage, insecurity, and resume dating12:06 Dating for soul vs. status17:12 Dating patterns and self-abandonment22:00 Healing yourself and generational trauma26:01 Trauma, validation, and confident dating31:46 Vulnerability and conflict in dating39:56 Overthinking and emotional regulation44:26 Why leaving toxic relationships is hard48:10 Fighting for relationships and dating the soul ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

16. 

    11 Mar 2026

    Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn: The Hidden Faces of Depression | Sanity Optional - Episode 2

    In this episode of Sanity Optional, Alexis takes an honest look at depression and the many ways it can show up in our lives.Drawing from personal experience and years of therapeutic work, she explores the different roots of depression, including burnout, trauma, nervous system patterns, and the pressure to constantly perform. Alexis breaks down the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses and how each one can shape the way people experience depression, from overworking and people-pleasing to emotional shutdown and anger.She also talks about emotional numbness, the shame many people carry around feeling “lazy,” and why our culture’s obsession with productivity often makes healing harder. Alexis shares pieces of her own experience with burnout and recovery, along with the therapies and practices that helped her reconnect with herself.Editor’s Note: During the conversation, Alexis refers to the “Shame Conditioning Process.” The correct term is the Shame Hardening Process, which describes how men are often socially conditioned to suppress emotional expression. We wanted to include this clarification for accuracy. This episode contains discussion of depression and suicidal thoughts. If you are currently struggling or in crisis, please consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional or a crisis support service in your area. Timestamps00:00 Understanding Depression: An Introduction01:46 Depression’s Diverse Manifestations03:10 Self-Abandonment and Hidden Benefits04:45 Flight Mode Depression10:39 Fawn Mode Depression14:31 Freeze Mode Depression19:42 Fight Mode and Healing Modalities26:25 Recognizing and Addressing Numbness33:51 The Role of Therapy in Healing35:44 Causes of Depression and Self-Compassion38:50 My Depression and Healing Journey43:42 Understanding Addiction as a Friend45:34 Depression is Not Laziness48:56 Explaining Depression to Others52:30 Navigating Parental Judgment and Support55:30 Depression, Sleep, and Trauma57:44 Effective Depression Treatments: Therapy, EMDR, and Medication01:01:28 Recovery is Possible: Embracing Authenticity ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

17. 

    4 Mar 2026

    Welcome to the Rabbit Hole | Sanity Optional - Episode 1

    In the very first episode of Sanity Optional, Alexis introduces the show and the reason it exists. She’s tired of mental health being framed like a grind, and she wants this to be a place where the taboo stuff can be said out loud without shame.Alexis shares her own story, including moving through depression, fear, and a long search for what actually helps. She talks about why “getting it” intellectually is not the same as feeling safe in your body, how shame keeps people stuck, and why healing can be approached with more compassion and even a little play. We’re happy that you’re here. Hope you enjoy the show, and we’ll see you next episode. Timestamps00:00 Sanity Optional: A New Approach02:37 A Journey of Healing and Gratitude05:32 Embracing Playfulness and the Present07:29 Beyond the ‘Work’ of Wellness09:47 Life as a Play, Not a Journey12:10 The Fear of Self and Taboo Topics13:54 Mind, Body, Soul: Somatic Healing15:05 Breaking Free from the ‘Shoulds’18:38 Embracing Being Lost and Course Correction21:28 Inclusivity and Unconditional Acceptance24:02 My Qualification and Love for Life26:07 Continuous Learning and Community Feedback28:47 A Playful Approach to Sensitive Topics31:28 Mindful Engagement and Protecting Listeners34:39 Upcoming Topics and Guests39:37 From Trauma to Unhealthy Achievement46:05 Healing from Psychosis and Addiction50:11 Medicine from the Hell of the Mind ABOUT SANITY OPTIONALSanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves.It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud.Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back.Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist.This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind.Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show LinksRowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Spotify

5.0 / 5

6 ratings

Contact Sanity Optional

Guest appearances

Does not typically book guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.