Choosing a school, navigating special education, deciding when to start kindergarten. These are some of the highest-stakes decisions parents make, and most of us make them with bad information and not enough time.
This playlist collects every conversation I've had on those decisions. Public vs private schools and what the data actually shows. Montessori vs traditional preschool. Whether to hold your child back before kindergarten. IEPs, 504 plans, and how to get the support your child is entitled to. Homeschooling legally. What really matters for college admissions.
Each one is built around a single question, with educators, school psychologists, special education advocates, and parents who've already been through it.
New videos added every week.
Should You Hold Your Child Back Before Kindergarten? What the Research Actually Says
Your child has a summer birthday. They'll be one of the youngest in the class. And someone has suggested you wait a year.
It's called redshirting, and it feels like everyone is doing it. They aren't.
In March 2026, researchers looked at data from more than three million kindergartners and found about five percent of children delay entry. That's roughly the same rate as the 1990s.
They also followed one group of children from kindergarten to third grade to see whether waiting actually worked.
It did. Children who started a year later scored higher in reading and math at entry, by a margin worth roughly 20 to 30 percent of a school year of learning.
By third grade, that gap was gone.
In this video I go through what the research found, why the advantage disappears, the finding about who actually redshirts that reframed the whole question for me, and how to think about your own child.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Five percent, not everyone
01:00 Does it work? Yes, then no
02:15 The finding that should make you pause
03:30 The costs nobody puts in the column
04:30 When it actually makes sense
05:45 A better question than "is my child ready"
06:45 What to take away
THE HONEST TEST
Ask yourself which sentence is true:
"I'm worried my child can't cope with a kindergarten classroom."
Or: "I want my child to be near the top rather than near the bottom."
Both are real reasons. Only one is supported by the evidence.
SOURCES
NWEA, March 2026. Analysis of MAP Growth K-2 data from more than 3 million kindergartners, fall 2017 to 2025, following the 2021-22 cohort through third grade. NWEA notes their sample comes from schools nationwide but may not be nationally representative.
Bassok and Reardon, Educational Evaluation and Policy Analysis. Two nationally representative datasets on the prevalence and patterns of academic redshirting.
RELATED
IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?: https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=9ixCz0O1qiJtLWp_ (https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=9ixCz0O1qiJtLWp_)
Montessori vs Traditional Preschool?: https://youtu.be/6GyIWp1pXas?si=OB2inzBXwk1Uh3vx (https://youtu.be/6GyIWp1pXas?si=OB2inzBXwk1Uh3vx)
I'm a podcast host, not an educator or a clinician. This is general information to help you ask better questions, not advice about your specific child. Decisions about school entry are best made with your child's preschool teacher and your school.
New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now.
#kindergarten #redshirting #schoolreadiness #parenting #kindergartenreadiness #summerbirthday #education #preschool #parentingadvice #schoolchoice
28 Sept 2026
Private School Applications: What You're Actually Up Against.
Families pay admissions consultants thousands of dollars to get through this process. Most of what they're buying isn't secret. It just isn't explained to anyone who doesn't pay for it.
Start with the part nobody tells you: when a school says it has thirty places in a grade, that is not thirty places available to you. Some are already committed to siblings of current families, to children of faculty and staff, and to legacy families. At the most competitive schools, a consultant describing that market put it plainly: a thousand applicants for fifty seats, many of which are already taken.
So the ratio you calculate from the applicant number is not the ratio you're facing.
This video covers how the seats actually get allocated, the one concept that explains the entire process and almost nobody names for parents, what a waitlist really means and what schools genuinely cannot tell you about it, who is actually in the room when your child's file is discussed, and the one question almost no parent asks after a rejection.
CHAPTERS
00:00 The seats are not what you think
02:15 Yield: the word that explains everything
03:45 The waitlist, honestly
05:15 The money question nobody asks
06:15 Who is actually in the room
07:15 The question almost nobody asks after a no
08:15 What to do with all of this
THE THREE QUESTIONS WORTH ASKING
"How many places do you actually expect at this entry point, after siblings and faculty children?"
"Is your admission need-blind or need-aware? And does that change for waitlist decisions?"
And if your child is declined: "I'm not appealing, I'm trying to understand. What was the deciding factor?"
All three are answerable. Almost nobody asks any of them.
ON WAITLISTS
A waitlist is not a ranked list. There is no number. Schools genuinely cannot tell you where your child sits, because when a place opens they look for who fits what the class now needs.
A director of admissions and financial aid at one of the most selective schools in the country has described waitlists as students the school really thought would make a great impact, and said that with unlimited spaces they would have taken them immediately.
That's also why strong applicants get waitlisted. Schools don't know their yield when they build the class in February, so they hold a list as insurance. It isn't a verdict on your child.
RELATED
Private School Applications: I Compared Two Top Schools and Nothing Matched: https://youtu.be/98GON5zaEqs?si=MiOjl3irxdGK_P8D (https://youtu.be/98GON5zaEqs?si=MiOjl3irxdGK_P8D)
IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?
https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=dqYdY323-gLgzRQT (https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=dqYdY323-gLgzRQT)
I'm not an admissions consultant. This is general information drawn from what admissions directors and educational consultants say publicly about how the process works. Every school is different, so verify specifics with the schools on your list.
New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now.
#privateschool #privateschooladmissions #schooladmissions #waitlist #parenting #independentschools #schoolchoice #admissions #privateschoolapplication #parentingtips
21 Sept 2026
My Kid Won't Go to School: What's Actually Happening?
It's 7:40 in the morning. Your child is on the floor, or in bed, or locked in the bathroom saying their stomach hurts. Again.
You have twenty minutes to decide whether to push, or let them stay home.
Here's what nobody tells you about that decision. Both options feel wrong because both options are wrong on their own. Letting them stay home works today and makes tomorrow harder. Forcing them in without understanding why can make the whole thing worse.
So this video isn't about which to pick. It's about what's actually driving it, because the research is clear that the reason determines the response, and most parents are working without it.
CHAPTERS
00:00 The 7:40 decision
00:50 It's not truancy, and the difference matters
02:00 How common, and when it becomes a real problem
02:50 The four reasons, and why the reason decides everything
04:10 The trap, and it isn't your fault
05:10 The stomachaches are real
06:00 What actually works, honestly
07:10 What to do this week
THE TERM TO ASK FOR
There's a questionnaire clinicians use called the School Refusal Assessment Scale, Revised. Twenty-four questions, answered by both parent and child, and it identifies which of four functions is driving the behavior.
Ask for it by name. That one request will change the quality of the conversation you have with a professional.
WHEN IT'S A REAL PROBLEM, NOT A BAD WEEK
Researchers use concrete thresholds:
Missing at least 25% of school time for two weeks or more.
Or severe difficulty attending for two weeks with real disruption to family life.
Or ten or more days absent in any fifteen-week period.
If you're at or near any of those, this isn't a phase to wait out.
THE THING TO KNOW ABOUT PROGRESS
A review of eight trials found that psychosocial interventions significantly improved attendance but did not significantly reduce anxiety during the assessment period.
Attendance improves before feelings do. So if your child goes back to school and still says they hate it, that isn't failure. That's the normal shape of progress, and knowing it in advance will stop you pulling back too early.
RELATED
Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls
https://youtu.be/_JQcuvdAlqM (https://youtu.be/_JQcuvdAlqM)
IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?
https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=IyJMLubHEDTcn1hE (https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=IyJMLubHEDTcn1hE)
I'm a podcast host, not a clinician. This is general information to help parents understand what they're dealing with and ask better questions. It is not a treatment plan or medical advice about your child. School refusal is frequently connected to anxiety or depression and is best addressed with a qualified mental health professional. If you are worried about your child's safety, contact your pediatrician or a mental health professional the same day.
New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now.
#schoolrefusal #schoolanxiety #parenting #childanxiety #schoolavoidance #anxiousChild #parentingtips #mentalhealth #backtoschool #parentingadvice
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