Delve into the fascinating world of attachment theory, relationships, social media, pop culture, and self-love with David Alexander.
The mission is to encourage people to be their most authentic selves through conversations connected to self awareness and self identity
New Episodes Bi-Weekly Dropping Wednesday’s @6am CST on Apple Podcast and Spotify and Now Youtube
Securely Me: Unconditional Love or Learned Suffering?
What is unconditional love…really? And more importantly, what has it been taught to mean in the Black community? In this episode, I get real about how “unconditional love” has sometimes been used as a way to normalize pain, silence boundaries, and keep people in spaces that don’t actually love them back. I talk about how we’ve been taught to endure, to forgive without accountability, and to stay loyal...even when it costs us our peace. This isn’t about blaming our community! it’s about unlearning what no longer serves us and redefining love in a way that includes respect, boundaries, and self-worth. Because love should feel safe…not something you have to survive.
25 Mar 2026
Securely Me: The Modeling Industry Messed With My Self-Worth
In this episode, I’m getting real about my experience in the modeling industry and how it shaped the way I see myself. What started as something exciting and validating quickly became a space where I was constantly being judged, compared, and told I wasn’t enough in ways I didn’t even realize were affecting me at the time.
I talk about the highs — the confidence, the opportunities, the feeling of being seen — but also the lows that don’t get talked about enough. The rejection, the pressure to fit into a certain look, and how easy it is to start tying your worth to other people’s opinions.
This episode is really about unlearning that. About separating who I am from how I’m perceived, and finding confidence that isn’t based on validation from an industry that’s constantly shifting.
If you’ve ever struggled with self-image, comparison, or feeling like you had to be someone else to be accepted, this one’s for you.
11 Mar 2026
Securely Me: 5 Things to Leave in 2025 + What We’re Taking Into 2026
In this episode of Securely Me, I’m doing a personal reset out loud.
We’re talking about the 5 things I’m leaving in 2025, yes!! some of it might step on toes (DL men… you already know), some of it is cultural, and some of it is just habits that no longer serve growth.
Then I get honest about 5 things I personally learned this year. Not the cute Instagram quote version. The real lessons. The ones that came from heartbreak, ego checks, grounding myself, and realizing growth isn’t dramatic, it’s consistent.
And finally, I’m sharing 6 things I think we should take into 2026. Things that build confidence. Things that build discipline. Things that build peace. Because I don’t want another year that just “happens” to me, I want one I actively create.
This episode is reflective, a little funny, a little bold, and very real.
If you’re ready to release, reset, and move intentionally, this one’s for you.
10 Dec 2025
Coming-of-Age Conversation
In this special episode of Securely Me, David Alexander sits down with guests Siran and Courtney for a heartfelt, honest conversation about coming of age. As Siran celebrates another trip around the sun, the trio reflects on the lessons learned over 35+ years of life—the growth, the challenges, the surprises, and the moments that shaped who they are today.
From navigating adulthood to embracing authenticity and self-security, this episode blends wisdom, laughter, and celebration. Join us as we honor Siran’s birthday and explore what it really means to come into your own.
30 Oct 2025
Kinks, Shame, and Sexual Freedom
Hosted by David Alexander (@davidalexanderiam)Guest: Jeremy A. Teel (@jeremyateel)
In this episode, we dive into the world of sexual kinks and explore the roots of kink shaming. Where it comes from, why it persists, and how it impacts our sense of self. David and Jeremy unpack the connection between sexual freedom and identity, challenging cultural taboos and encouraging open, judgment-free conversations around desire and authenticity.
It’s a raw, honest, and empowering talk about embracing what makes you feel whole, inside and outside the bedroom.
15 Oct 2025
Tactless Takes on Homosocial Men
On this episode, I sit down with Beabad, host of Tactless Radio, for a real and unapologetic conversation about homo-social relationships between men. We unpack the ways men bond with each other, the unspoken rules and tensions that come with it, and how these dynamics affect the people who are in relationships or close proximity with these men. From emotional avoidance to performative masculinity, we explore what it means to navigate connections with men who are deeply tied to their male circles—but struggle with intimacy, openness, and accountability in their personal lives.
1 Oct 2025
Being Gay with Community and Family
In this episode of Securely Me, host David Alexander (@davidalexanderiam) sits down with Coach Rob (@Coach_rob1089) for a powerful and honest conversation about what it means to grow up gay in a Black family. Together, they unpack the challenges, joys, and lessons of navigating identity, culture, and belonging as Black gay men. From family dynamics to finding community, this dialogue offers vulnerability, wisdom, and the reminder that being authentically yourself is both radical and necessary.
17 Sept 2025
Our Connection to Music
In this episode, David Alexander sits down with Servante for a candid conversation about music and identity. Together, they explore how the songs, sounds, and artists we connect with shape who we are and how we show up in the world. From childhood influences to the soundtracks of pivotal life moments, David and Servante unpack the deep ways music intertwines with culture, memory, and self-expression.
@iamservante
14 Nov 2024
"Stars, Sounds & Self-Doubt: Unpacking the Big 3, Elmiene’s New Hit, and Navigating Body Insecurities"
In this episode, we dive into the intriguing world of astrology and what your Big 3 says about your personality. We also chat about Elmiene's latest track "Anyways," exploring how music can be a form of self-expression. Plus, we tackle the tough topics of body insecurities and the pressure of others' judgments, unpacking how they shape our self-image and confidence. Tune in for a mix of cosmic insight, fresh music, and real talk!
New Episodes Drop Bi-Weekly on Wednesday's @6pm CST
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram - David Alexander
TikTok - David Alexander
Intro/ Outro Music Produced by: DJ CySum
9 Sept 2024
New Beats & Heartfelt Boundaries: Citizen Queen's Latest Track and Your Boundries Based on yourAttachment Style
In this episode, we dive into Citizen Queen’s latest track, exploring how their new sound resonates with the complexities of our emotional lives. We then shift gears to unravel the intriguing world of attachment styles and what they reveal about our boundaries in relationships. Tune in for insightful discussions, practical advice, and a lively Q&A session where we tackle your dating dilemmas and relationship queries. Whether you're a music lover or navigating the maze of modern relationships, this episode has something for you!
New Episodes Drop weekly on Monday @6am CST
Daily 1’s Journal
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram - David Alexander
TikTok - David Alexander
Intro/ Outro Music Produced by: DJ CySum
4 Sept 2024
Love, Care, and Culture: Navigating Bell Hooks, Robyn's Beats, and the Evolution of Adulthood
Join us on a thought-provoking journey as we explore the intricate dance between love and care through the lens of groundbreaking ideas and vibrant music. In this episode, we delve into the profound insights of Bell Hooks, whose work reshapes our understanding of love and care. We'll also groove to the beats of Robyn, whose music captures the complexities of modern relationships and personal empowerment. Finally, we'll compare what it means to be an adult today versus the 1990s, examining how cultural shifts and evolving expectations have influenced our experiences of love and care. Tune in for a rich discussion on how these elements intersect and inform our lives in a changing world.
New Episodes Drop weekly on Monday @6pm CST
Daily 1’s Journal
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram - David Alexander
TikTok - David Alexander
Music Produced by: DJ CySum
26 Aug 2024
Securely Me Updates & Life Changes
Welcome to Securely Me, where we dive deep into the latest updates and transformative life changes that shape our journey to personal security and growth. In each episode, we explore new trends, innovative solutions, and practical tips to help you navigate life with confidence and resilience.
New Episodes Drop weekly on Monday @6am CST
Daily 1’s Journal
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram - David Alexander
TikTok - David Alexander
Music Produced by: DJ CySum
19 Aug 2024
Attachment & Politics: The Walz Choice and Chicago’s Juke Beat"? Secure attachment, Tim Walz's political role, and Chicago Juke music with @BeaBad
In this eclectic episode of "Securely Me", we dive into the intriguing intersections of secure attachment theory, political leadership, and Chicago Juke music, featuring a special guest who’s shaking up the scene—Beabad.
We kick things off by as we delve into Chicago Juke music. We explore its roots, cultural significance, and its vibrant role in the music scene. Join us as we play some iconic tracks and discuss the music’s influence on Chicago’s social landscape.
Next, we turn our attention to Tim Walz, the Democratic choice for Vice President. We analyze his political career, discussing how his background and its implications for his role in national politics.
Finally, we explore secure attachment theory through Bea's journey through therapy and childhood trauma.
Tune in for a unique blend of psychology, politics, and music that promises to be as enlightening as it is entertaining. Don’t miss this dynamic conversation that connects the beats of Chicago to the heart of political strategy and personal connection.
Special Guest: BeabadWe’re thrilled to have Beabad, an activist and podcaster, join us to share their insights and experiences.
New Episodes Drop weekly on Monday @6pm CST
Daily 1’s Journal
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram - David Alexander
TikTok - David Alexander
Beabad - Instagram
Beabad - Tiktok
Tactless Radio - Podcast
5 Aug 2024
Disorganized Attachment, Olympic Missteps, and Musical Memories: A Deep Dive into Parenting, Identity, and Family
In this episode of Securely Me w/ David Alexander "Disorganized Attachment, Olympic Missteps, and Musical Memories," we explore three distinct yet interconnected topics that touch on the nuances of human experience.
First, we reflect on the personal and emotional power of music in our lives, particularly how certain songs and genres connect with our family history and memories. David shares stories and insights on how music can strengthen familial bonds and evoke cherished moments, offering a heartfelt look at the intersection of sound and sentiment.
Next, we shift our focus to the world of sports and identity as we review the recent controversy involving Imane Khelif and the misgendering incident at the Olympics. We explore the broader implications of this event for inclusivity and respect in the sporting community, and what it means for athletes navigating their identities on a global stage.
Finally, we delve into disorganized attachment in parenting, examining how this challenging attachment style impacts children and families. We discuss strategies for recognizing and addressing disorganized attachment, and how parents can foster a more secure and nurturing environment for their children.
Join us for an insightful and engaging discussion that weaves together attachment theory, identity politics, and the timeless influence of music.
New Episodes Drop weekly on Monday @6pm CST
Still Missing You Playlist - Apple Music
Still Missing You Playlist - Spotify
Daily 1’s Journal
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram
TikTok
30 Jul 2024
Dismissive Avoidant Patterns, Kamala Harris's Candidacy, and the Rhythm of Change
In this episode of “Securely Me,” we dive into the intriguing connections between dismissive avoidant attachment styles, Kamala Harris’s presidential candidacy, and the transformative power of music.
To add a unique twist, we explore how music can mirror and influence the psychological rhythm of a Dismissive Avoidant. From campaign playlists to the emotional resonance of political speeches, we’ll discuss how music intersects with political strategy and personal identity.
Next, we analyze Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign. We’ll also debate the implications of her candidacy on the political landscape and voter perceptions.
Finally we will explore the concept of dismissive avoidant attachment—how it manifests in personal relationships and tools on how to navigate dismissive avoidant attachment.
Join us for a thought-provoking conversation that blends psychology, politics, and music, offering fresh insights into how these elements intertwine to shape our world.
New Episodes Drop weekly on Monday @6pm CST
Still Missing You Playlist - Apple Music
Still Missing You Playlist - Spotify
Daily 1’s Journal
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram
TikTok
22 Jul 2024
Anxious Attachment, Music Highlight, and Unpacking J Lo Critiques with David Alexander
Join us for a thought-provoking episode where we dive into the complexities of anxious attachment styles, unpack the reasons behind society's varied opinions on Jennifer Lopez (J.Lo), and celebrate a standout music moment of the week.
First, don't miss our Music Moment of the Week, where we spotlight a captivating song, album, or artist that's making waves in the music industry. Discover new sounds and revisit old favorites as we celebrate the power of music to evoke emotion and inspire.
Next, we tackle the curious case of Jennifer Lopez. Why does she polarize opinions? From her multifaceted career to public perception, we examine cultural narratives and personal biases that shape our views of this iconic figure.
Finally, we explore anxious attachment—its origins, behaviors, and the impact it has on relationships. Drawing from psychological insights and personal anecdotes, we discuss common traits of anxious attachment and offer strategies for fostering healthier connections.
Whether you're intrigued by attachment theory, curious about societal perceptions of celebrities like J.Lo, or simply looking to groove to great music, this episode promises to entertain, inform, and resonate. Tune in as we navigate the intersection of psychology, pop culture, and the arts, offering fresh perspectives and engaging discussions.
New Episodes Drop weekly on Monday @6pm CST
Still Missing You Playlist - Apple Music
Still Missing You Playlist - Spotify
Daily 1’s Journal
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram
TikTok
9 Jul 2024
How it Started with David Alexander
Through candid reflections and insightful anecdotes, David Alexander delves into the transformative power of acceptance and compassion towards oneself. They discuss pivotal moments of realization, the influence of family and friends, and the gradual path towards embracing their true identity and worth. Listeners are invited to explore universal themes of growth, identity, and the pursuit of happiness through the lens of David Alexander's personal narrative.
This episode serves as both a testament to the complexities of childhood and a beacon of hope for anyone navigating their own journey towards self-love. Join us as we celebrate the triumphs, challenges, and ultimate liberation found in embracing oneself fully.
Still Missing You Playlist - Apple Music
Still Missing You Playlist - Spotify
Daily 1’s Journal
Attachment Style Quiz
Instagram
TikTok
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5.0 / 5
7 ratings
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