Self Conscious Mystic

About Self Conscious Mystic

Madness and mysticism. Articulating lunacy and other mysterious things. I have a psychotic disorder and experience this as a spiritual phenomenon as well as a medical condition. I am training with Shamanism Ireland to be a transpersonal therapist. Here I discuss non-ordinary reality, mysticism, psychosis, spirits and dreams. The point really is to talk about things I don’t know how to talk about. Non ordinary states are things that are hard to explain and almost impossible to describe. This is a personal challenge for myself, a project which came to me in a series of dreams about making videos. I’m currently writing a book about Lí Ban, a mermaid in Irish myth. You can follow me here and / or add your email on my website to find out when the book is released: www.catherinehatt.com New episodes every month, follow to join my journey. Also available as a video on Substack, YouTube and Spotify

Publisher

Self Conscious Mystic

Category

health & fitness · religion & spirituality · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

28 Feb 2025

Latest episode

28 Jan 2026

Latest episodes

12 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   28 Jan 2026

   Flower Essences for Dreaming. (and mushroom essences)

   Hello, these are some wonderful flower essences for dreaming, plus an explanation of mushroom essences for dream work. Keep your dream drops on your bedside table and take them in water or on the tongue before you go to sleep. Watch this video to help you choose the best essence for you. There are others as well, so I may do a second video. Sweet dreams and safe travels.. flower essences flower remedies mushroom essences dreamwork dreamtime dream incubation courting a dream xhosa african dreamroot mugwort passionflower star tulip forget me not bereavement dreaming datura sacred plants queen of the night moon flower amethyst deceiver horn of plenty dreaming with the moon dream journaling dream diary catching a dream

2. 

   28 Dec 2025

   Spirit Possession: My Exorcism Journey (part two)

   Happy Christmas 2025. This is the last in a series of three episodes about spirit possession and my personal spiritual journey of resolving the trouble; an exorcism process guided by dreams, plants, shamans and Spirit. Here I explain how I progressed my exorcism process by connecting with the ancestors, and how Michael Jackson showed me the situation with troublesome spirits I had been struggling to reckon with. I also explore psychiatric medication, specifically antipsychotics. The injection of paloperidone in hospital was a huge step for me in calming down the whole situation when I was being possessed by spirits and battling psychosis. What I forgot to say at the end of the episode is that choosing to host troublesome souls and lost ones can mean you find yourself an outsider in your own life, and that you encounter lots of outsiders day to day. This has been my most recent work which is ongoing; to firmly hold the space with forgotten ones and also integrate myself into the mainstream world. It is quite heavy work, as I am bringing all the lost souls with me.  So you could be fated to be an outsider in life by following my approach to spirit attachments.  Happy new year

3. 

   28 Nov 2025

   Spirit Possession: My Exorcism Journey (part one)

   Hello, here I describe the first half of my journey exorcising troublesome spirits.  Please see my previous episode where I describe the spirit possession itself. My approach to exorcism was to try different available things and follow where they led me, trusting in God to speak to me through dreams, the body and everyday reality. I will expand on this in part two.  In this video I discuss shamanic healing, a distant energy treatment, dreams and plant medicines. My own unconscious attachment to these entities I learned was a very profound connection, and this step in my exorcism journey opened a doorway of understanding to the ancestral realm, which I will explain in the next video. So this is one of three episodes in total, which describe my unique experience of spirit possession and my journey of exorcising these spirits from my body and my life. The possession states happened after years of trances and states of surrender in my spiritual life, which is how things eventually got so out of control. as I had relinquished control to the Others, naively thinking anything spiritual moving through me was positive or special. My next video will dive into the 'problem' of troublesome entities and 'demons' and how for me this was a whole heart journey (thank you mushroom) which makes my exorcism path different to other exorcism processes.  I would advise others dealing with this to follow their own process and see it as a journey into other realms rather than one dramatic extraction ceremony, though that can also be effective.  But is it healing on multiple levels?  Journey deeper by following your dreams and the divination of everyday reality, though the trickster may appear you have celestial family to lean on.  Trust dreams, trust reality, trust yourself.

4. 

   28 Oct 2025

   My Experience of Spirit Possession.

   Happy Hallowe'en, All Souls, Samhain, Day of the Dead. Today I'm describing several personal experiences, to give real life examples of spirit possession, which I have experienced and had to find ways to deal with by myself. I give several examples leading up to the 'big one' which felt the most extraordinary to me, as someone who was actually getting used to this happening all the time. I can never forget these happenings, though they were years ago and I have worked hard to remove these spirit attachments and intrusions, which I will explain in my next video. There are records and accounts of spirit possession from all over the world and it is recognised in world religions and spiritual traditions, but the event/ experience is medicalised in secular society as a psychiatric event. I believe troublesome spiritual activity can cause mental disturbance and upset the balance of the mind, so spirit possession can be happening when there is psychosis; the two states overlap in a way, as they are altered states of being where the psyche could be ruptured in some way by the spirits coming in, weakening the boundaries of the mind which makes you vulnerable to reality distortions. But what is important is to explain that the possession is not the psychosis. For me as someone who has had many psychotic episodes and also many experiences of spirit possession they are totally distinct and feel completely different. 'Losing control' can be part of a psychotic breakdown, but when you are 'possessed by a spirit' they take over all control of you, completely out of the blue and you are not hysterical you can be completely calm going about your business and then you are just suddenly taken over/ possessed. You become an incredulous witness to what your body is doing and what is coming out of your mouth. You are not feeling in crisis but in amazement at what is happening to you, and fear. You no longer have control of your own body, but you can feel how it is moving because you are still in it, you have just lost the controls. You are doing things you could never imagine doing and doing movements that are physically not possible when you are in control. You feel completely powerless to stop it, though I feel I must have had some power to fight it and should have tried harder to stop all this when these things started to happen, before it escalated and became more extreme and powerful and a big problem. I want to say more about the spirits themselves, the characters/ persons, but I will do this in the next video. As I explain towards the end, it is rare to find people in authority who will believe you when you have had these experiences. I wonder if you believe me or not watching this? Perhaps I should have not drawn whiskers on my face if I wanted to be taken seriously. Perhaps you have been possessed yourself or know someone that has / is, and understand what I'm describing, or your experiences are very different to mine. The world is so unfathomable. This awe inspiring attitude to the spirit realm in many ways injured my personal boundary/ protection from troubled ones and old forces/ ancient entities, but I also found my way back to peace and right relationship with the Others, which I will explain in the next video so please follow me here, or on your preferred podcast platform, 'Self Conscious Mystic'. Thank you and blessings

5. 

   28 Sept 2025

   This is a Virtual Reality. DNA and The Simulation.

   Hello. I had the unforgettable, highly challenging experience of living in a virtual reality, when I was in an altered state. During a 3 month long psychotic episode, lots of incredible things happened to my consciousness (and awful things too). I experienced the simulation in real time and it has forever changed my understanding of this world/ universe. Here I share my experience and what I learnt from this time being conscious of the simulation, and my understanding of the controllers who are playing a game, and a dream I had about the nature of our genetic coding.

6. 

   28 Aug 2025

   My Experience With Aliens. Celestial Family, Galactic beings.

   Alien encounters from my actual life.  Or was it 'just' psychosis? I had a long, strange, exhausting dream after I filmed this episode.  Which made me think there is something not quite right about what I say in the video.  Perhaps it is incomplete, as there is a lot I didn't mention, or it is muddled with delusions as well as the mystic encounters. I have posted it here anyway for those people who might find this one day and relate, having had similar experiences.  Or for anyone who is curious about aliens and wants to know about them from someone who spent several months communicating (and working) with them. Includes hyperdimensionality, speed of light, amphibians and galactic criminals.  Sounds mad, so maybe it was and I am just a 100% madwoman.  My celestial family love me anyway.

7. 

   28 Jul 2025

   Blowing God a Kiss. Divine Romance, the Love of God

   Hello, this is my attempt to speak about the experience of loving God. This mystical highlight of my life is having a relationship with God which is romantic and ever changing, as I am changed by life and my knowledge of God develops. He loves me more that I can express so I love to show him my love in different ways, and feel deeply moved by the feelings of adoration I have for this permeating intelligence who knows me deeply, loves and understands my soul. I explain in the video why the mystical experience of oneness is not a useful goal for me because of the delight and adventure I enjoy being separate from God. Our romance colours my life with meaning, solace, magic and wonderment so I never want it to end.

8. 

   28 Jun 2025

   The Mystic : I Am A Dragon / Snake. How I become a Dragon.

   Hello and welcome to my video podcast Self Conscious Mystic, which I have made available on all podcast platforms. Please follow me on this adventure! The idea for this project came to me in a dream, and I will speak about dream exploration in my podcast. Here I try to describe what happens when I become a dragon. It is possibly the most powerful and extraordinary of all my spiritual experiences, because of the immense presence of ancient primordial dark matter. Which is at the core of me and is reptilian, incredibly deep, and celestial as I explain. I am Catherine in my day to day life and the dragon within me is alive down in the uttermost depths of my being. More real and substantial and vital than all the surface aspects of Catherine. She is the pure original being and awesomely powerful. She is me. Could this be the female force which has been attacked so violently by men who slay dragons and write that the snake of creation is not to be trusted? I can imagine so after my experiences. Nothing I say or write can describe what I feel when I become the dragon. This video is woefully inadequate, and yet I must try and talk about things which many of us experience but don't talk about, as they are so hard to describe. Finding the words for fathomless stuff is the aim of my podcast and this is the first sharing attempt, I'm pretty pleased with it but let me know what you think!

9. 

   28 May 2025

   The Handless Maiden and Me (Part 3) Rewilding Perception to Heal Psychosis.

   The end of the story and the rebirth of The Handless Maiden. From persecutory delusions to wisdom and perception, the handless maiden has to go bravely into ancient territory, using Spirit as a guide. She depends on her silver hands as the psychiatric patient depends on their medication. She would be lost if not for Spirit, and this is where I am at in my recovery journey with psychosis. The Handless Maiden cannot do this healing work alone and Spirit guides her deep into the wilderness to the wise woman. This connects her to old, wild ways and a primal awareness of reality which is sensitive to danger but not paranoid. As her hands grow back her husband the king is rewilding his consciousness too, abandoning his wealth and status in his quest to find her. Over seven years of searching he becomes the wild hunter. The reunion of the wild king and the wild queen shows that healing is possible when we restore what we have lost: the wise woman, a relationship with spirits and living with natural cycles. Nature is regenerative, but this takes time as with psychosis it is a deep search for the true nature of reality. The loss of her hands ultimately results in stronger, finer, superior hands. So losing touch with reality can become a healing adventure which results in a greater grasp of reality than we had before. An ability to perceive things more deeply and multidimensionally, as the wise woman does with her gifts of prophecy and second sight. Lastly, and firstly, the Devil of our story has no hold at this level of consciousness and his domain is the wealthy pharmaceutical industry which needs mentally ill people to stay lost and handless for it to make money. I speak as a woman who depends on her medications and functions so much better with them, but who also understands that a non-ordinary reality crisis can be an initiatory adventure of the spirit. Not just a disability.  This is the story of The Handless Maiden. Please listen to parts one and part two for the full adventure and let me know your own thoughts. Healing is deep when it is slowly but surely, so I walk a spiritual path with psychosis one step at a time. I am writing a book about another old myth, the story of Li Ban the mermaid of Ireland, and you can add your email to the book list on my website to be notified when it is finished and available: www.catherinehatt.com. I'm also a songwriter, or I was in my younger years, I studied counselling at university and am currently training with Shamanism Ireland to be a transpersonal therapist. #mysticism #psychosis #fairytale #witch #mentalillness #thedevil #shamanism #wisewoman #wildwood #naturehealing #rebirth #nonordinaryreality #sixthsense #thehandlessmaiden #transpersonaltherapy #soulpurpose #healing #susunweed #wisewomantradition #greenwitch

10. 

    29 Apr 2025

    Me, The Handless Maiden and Psychotic Illness (part 2) Medication, Shamanism and The Devil

    Part two of The Handless Maiden's story about psychotic illness.  Including heavy medication (the silver hands), the mystic births the shaman, and the devil twists the truth (persecutory delusions and hearing voices). This story came into my delusion/ reality when I was terrified believing my hands were going to be chopped off.  The myth is a wonderful way to explain mental illness and mysticism, as The Handless Maiden is vulnerable and disabled and also with God / Spirit.   Please listen to part one if you have time. I'm sharing this information about mental illness to set the context for my podcast which is about mystical experiences.  Because many of my mystical experiences happened when I was in psychosis.  So I am a woman with a mental illness who also understands the shamanic significance of my condition. Part one was last month's episode and the final part three will follow next month.

11. 

    28 Mar 2025

    Me, The Handless Maiden and Mental Illness (part 1)

    I set the context of my mystical podcast, explaining first of all that psychosis is disturbing and profoundly challenging... The Handless Maiden is haunted, traumatised and disabled... In her story, this extreme vulnerability brings her close to God/ Spirit... This is the first part of her tale... An old fairytale which begins with The Devil... This fairytale appeared in my delusions and also in a dream. .. I wasn't thinking about the story, but I 100% believed that my hands were about to be chopped off... As a transpersonal therapist, the story details of our delusions can be relevant not to our psychology but to our deeper soul story... And delusions can cast us along storylines from other times and other lives... The Handless Maiden represents a woman with no grasp on reality who is homeless and walking with spirit until the King sees her and claims her... We will see in part 2 how he does that... This has been my journey as I have spent many, many long nights wandering the streets alone in psychosis, experiencing terror as well as mystical happenings, before being claimed by the authorities... I am told it is likely to happen again, however I'm currently thankfully stable and able to make this video podcast, to share some non-ordinary experiences... If you are interested in old stories I'm writing a book about a woman in Irish myth called Li Ban who is a mermaid... If you would like to know when it is released there is a box on my website where you can enter your email address (this is not a newsletter) go to www.catherinehatt.com  Music is 'Easy' by Catherine Hatt

12. 

    28 Feb 2025

    The Mystic and the Schizophrenic

    Introducing the theme of my new video podcast where I will explore psychotic / mystical states, and try to put the unintelligible into words. I share a recent dream explaining that this stuff is ancient and needs to be divided into bite sized pieces... by doing a series of videos! I would love it if you subscribed to join me on this journey. To include psychosis and the paranormal, spirit possession, talking to god/ the gods, ghosts, entities, virtual reality, AI, the simulation, galactic beings, hallucinations, etc.

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