Welcome to Selfish Parenting - where we flip the script on everything society tells you about being a "good parent."
I'm Chance Hinder-Lane (@hindirlane), and I'm here to tell you that what society calls selfish, we call sustainable parenting.
Tired of the guilt? Done with the burnout culture? Ready to stop people-pleasing your way through parenthood? You're in the right place.
This isn't your typical parenting podcast filled with shoulds and shouldn'ts. We're here to give you permission to: Hire help without guilt Prioritize your career AND your kids
Say no to activities that drain you Invest in your mental health and identity Maintain adult relationships and interests Spend money on yourself Set boundaries that actually work
Every episode, we dive deep into the "selfish" behaviors that research shows actually make you a better parent. From working mothers to stay-at-home parents demanding respect, from therapy to solo vacations - we're covering it all with science, sass, and zero shame.
Because here's the truth: Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family.
New episodes drop every Monday at 7am Follow @hindirlane for daily doses of sustainable parenting content
18. I Left With a Toddler in Diapers | Starting Over After Divorce with Chef Susanne Dillingham
Susanne Dillingham's daughter was 18 months old and still in diapers when Susanne walked away from her marriage. She had spent years building her private chef business, stepped away from it to stay home with her baby, and found herself in a marriage where money never got talked about and the support she needed wasn't there. So she left. She lived off her savings, rebuilt her business, and leaned on her sous chef to get through the days she was falling apart. I first met Susanne over handmade ...
21 Sept 2026
17. Changing the Default Parent | Why We Swapped Seats for a Year
Okay, real talk: when your kid wakes up with a 102 fever on a Tuesday morning, whose phone rings first? Whose calendar gets cleared? Whose career takes the permanent hit? We celebrate equality on paper, and then life gets messy, and somehow, the woman's dreams get quietly shelved. For the past year, my husband and I decided to break that. He stepped back, took the primary parent seat, and I went all-in on my career. I was able to launch a non-profit, scale my brand across five countries, and ...
9 Jun 2026
16. Is Marriage Worth It for Women? Feat. Yvette Henry
Marriage can be beautiful, fulfilling, stretching, and deeply intimate, but it is not something I can honestly talk about for women without also talking about the risk, the labor, and the reality of what so many wives are carrying. In this conversation, I sit down with Yvette Henry to talk about what 15 years of marriage has taught her, why she still believes marriage can be worth it, and why I struggle to tell women that marriage is automatically worth it for them. We talk about choosing wel...
25 May 2026
15. The Mental Load Is the Invisible Job with Paige Connell of @SheIsAPaigeTurner
There is a kind of exhaustion that does not come from doing one more load of laundry or packing one more lunch – it comes from being the person who knows everything that needs to happen before anyone else even thinks to ask. In this episode, I’m joined by Paige Connell, known online as @SheIsAPaigeTurner, for a conversation about the part of the mental load that feels the most frustrating to name out loud: why so many women are expected to manage the home, explain the standards, teach their p...
11 May 2026
14. Unpacking Church Trauma & Refusing to Raise my Daughters in Shame
I grew up in the church. I prayed, I read my Bible, I believed God was the reason my family survived some of the hardest things we ever went through. Faith grounded me, especially as a refugee kid trying to make sense of losing everything and starting over. But I also grew up hearing that my body was a problem, that my value lived in my virginity, that motherhood was my highest calling, and that men’s comfort mattered more than women’s safety. In this episode, I’m talking about Christianity, ...
27 Apr 2026
13. Work From Home Isn’t Killing Your Career | Let’s Be Honest About Having It All
Work from home is a career killer for women? I disagree a thousand percent. In this episode, I’m challenging the idea that ambition has to come at the expense of your mental health, your time, or your identity. I’m talking about my experience in corporate America as a Black woman, the invisible labor that comes with being in office, what the research actually says about remote work and productivity, and who the “three hour mom” narrative really applies to. Because not all advice is universal,...
13 Apr 2026
12. TikTok Is Not Real Life | What I Was Posting While My Life Was Falling Apart with Kiana Leroux
This episode contains graphic depictions of domestic violence. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text “START” to 88788. Kiana built her platform on transparency, but this conversation makes it clear just how much she was holding at the same time. What looked like a happy, growing relationship online was layered with control, instability, and survival behind the scenes – and she was na...
30 Mar 2026
11. The Government Doesn't Care About Mothers… So We Built Our Own Village
This episode is me saying the quiet part out loud: you are not struggling because you’re doing motherhood wrong. You’re struggling because there is no real support system built for you. I’m introducing Empower Her Village, but this isn’t just an announcement, it’s a response to something I’ve seen over and over again, in my own life and in yours. Mothers who are doing everything “right,” working, showing up, holding it all together, and still can’t afford childcare, therapy, or even basic hel...
10 Mar 2026
10. Spanking IS Child Abuse
Hitting your child is abuse. It doesn't matter if you call it spanking, whooping, or "a little pat." In this episode, I'm unpacking why corporal punishment has been normalized for so long and why so many parents still believe it's discipline. Growing up in the Democratic Republic of Congo, I saw firsthand how physical punishment was treated as the standard both at home and in schools. But here's what doesn't add up: it's illegal to hit your spouse, illegal to hit your neighbor – yet still leg...
23 Feb 2026
9. Tradwife or Trapped Wife? | How Stay-at-Home Moms Can Protect Themselves with Trish A. White
Everyone loves the idea of a stay-at-home mom until the internet starts running the divorce horror stories. So let’s actually talk about it. In this episode, I sit down with Trish White, a stay-at-home mom of three who very intentionally chose this life, and we break down what protection really looks like. Not fear. Not paranoia. Not secret resentment. Real protection. The kind that starts before you ever leave your job. We talk about choosing a partner who doesn’t flinch at your ambition to ...
9 Feb 2026
8. 45% of Women Will Be Single by 2030 | How to Know If You’re Actually Ready for Marriage and Motherhood
A lot of people treat marriage and motherhood like deadlines you’re supposed to hit. In this episode, I break down how I think about readiness, not as a timeline, but as an intentional choice that should add to your life, not shrink it. I share what actually mattered to me before getting married, from choosing an exceptional partner to knowing who I was outside of a relationship and being able to financially support myself. Then we get into what real readiness for kids looks like: the costs p...
26 Jan 2026
7. You’re Not a Single Married Mother | What Real Partnership, Labor & Boundaries Look Like with Colette Louis
A lot of couples talk about “building together.”Fewer talk about what happens when ambition, money, children, and the internet all enter the relationship at the same time. In this episode, I sit down with Colette Louis to talk about what it actually looks like to grow a marriage while growing businesses – without one partner quietly carrying the invisible weight of it all. We unpack how she and her husband made early decisions about money, labor, and priorities, why outsourcing became a neces...
12 Jan 2026
6. Having Kids IS Selfish (And That’s Okay) | Why Being Child-Free Is Sometimes the Selfless Choice
We keep hearing that the birth rate is falling, the economy is panicking, and somehow the solution lives in women’s bodies. In this episode, I’m saying the quiet part out loud: every reason to have children is selfish -- and that’s not a bad thing. As a mother of four, I unpack why choosing not to have children is not selfish at all, but often an act of self-preservation. Through my own birth stories, research on maternal health, and the realities no one puts on the baby shower invitation, th...
31 Dec 2025
5. Why Am I Like This? | How Healing Your Past Changes Your Future with Kobe Campbell, LCMHC
When you think about the personal rules you follow while parenting your children, how many of those are shaped by an experience you’ve had in your life? Chances are, at least one or two of the daily decisions you make are shaped by trauma. That’s why I’m so excited to have Kobe Campbell, an award-winning licensed trauma therapist, on the podcast! We discuss how trauma impacts our lives, why you should stop dismissing your trauma as “not that bad,” and the role trauma therapy can play in helpi...
15 Dec 2025
4. The Truth About “Broken Homes” | A Domestic Violence Survivor’s Story feat. Wadzanai Karanja
This episode contains graphic depictions of domestic violence. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text “START” to 88788. Leaving isn’t the hard part. It’s admitting to yourself that what you’ve been calling “home” has been hurting you. In this episode, I sit down with Wadzanai Karanja, a domestic violence survivor and single mother, to talk about the red flags she didn’t yet know to na...
1 Dec 2025
3. The “Right Choice” Myth | Why Both Working & Stay-at-Home Mothers Matter
From the “boss babe” stereotype to the “trad wife” trend, social media has a lot to say about what it means to be a good mother, and it can be tempting to compare and measure these mothers against each other. In this episode, I want to explore why both working mothers and stay-at-home mothers are valid. I’m unpacking the research that shows the benefits of both, sharing my own experiences following each path, and empowering you to set boundaries and practice self-care no matter which path you...
17 Nov 2025
2. More Than a Paycheck: What a Modern Provider Actually Looks Like feat. Julien Lane
If you have a great relationship with your father, I bet that the thing that’s most important to you about that bond isn’t that he provided for your family financially. It was his emotional support and intentional presence that made that relationship special. And who else would be a better guest to talk about fatherhood than my husband, Julien Lane? You might know him as “Homey” (if you know, you know), but Julien is the true embodiment of modern fatherhood. From holding space for our family’...
3 Nov 2025
1. Permission to Be Selfish: The Framework
Welcome to the Selfish Parenting Podcast! If you are feeling burnt out on parenthood and like these kids have got to go, you just walked into the right party! In this episode, I’m kicking off this podcast with why I named the podcast Selfish Parenting (and if that name gave you pause… keep listening!), my four-part Selfish Parenting Framework, and the research-backed evidence that being a happy, fulfilled parent leads to raising happy, fulfilled, and pretty successful kids. 🤎 We’d love to hea...
1 Nov 2025
Welcome to Selfish Parenting with Chancè Hindir-Lane
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
8 ratings
Spotify
4.6 / 5
10 ratings
Contact Selfish Parenting
Guest appearances
Books guests
Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.
Host of Selfish Parenting?
Claim your podcast to manage its listing and keep your show details accurate.
Pod Engine is an independent podcast discovery and analytics service and is not affiliated with or endorsed by this podcast. Artwork and show content belong to their owners. Full legal notice.
Explore this show Podcast research with Pod Engine
