Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey

About Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey

Sex education and sexual interest don’t end at a certain age. Melanie Ramey is here not only to debunk myths about sexuality, sexual involvement, and connection later in life but to shed light on sexual information for all ages. This podcast will answer the questions that were never properly answered in health class and address the sex information we need but are too reluctant to discuss. Join Melanie for frank discussions about bodies, sexual health, desire, and age, with honesty and humor.

Publisher

Melanie Ramey

Category

health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

3 Feb 2025

Latest episode

7 Jul 2025

Latest episodes

12 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   7 Jul 2025

   Taboos

   Sex educator Melanie Ramey explores societal taboos surrounding sex and death, specifically addressing intimacy and sexuality in palliative and hospice care, and offers insights on initiating these crucial conversations in healthcare; this is an interview.

2. 

   2 Jun 2025

   Myths, Sexually Speaking

   Sex educator Melanie Ramey debunks pervasive myths surrounding the sexuality of people with disabilities and chronic illnesses, challenging false assumptions and advocating for better sex education and understanding within the community in this interview.

3. 

   19 May 2025

   The Disabled are Able to Have Sex

   In this episode, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey addresses the need for legislation, education, and understanding regarding the sexual health needs of people with disabilities. Only very recently in our history have we had legislation protecting the human rights of those with physical or cognitive disabilities. As recently as the 70s, disabled persons were simply institutionalized and forgotten about. Melanie unpacks the history of how the disabled have been treated and highlights how much more education and support is required to understand the sexual needs of those with disabilities. One poignant story that Melanie relates is that of a woman who had been institutionalized immediately after giving birth to her son, on the advice of a doctor. It was only after the son was in his forties that the state hospital where she lived was about to discharge her into his care. The stigma about mental health was so great that he had not told his wife and children about his mother for fear of judgement. Melanie assisted in helping the family find a suitable care home for the mother and the family integrated her into their lives, but the most shocking discovery was the reason for the mother’s institutionalization: post-partum depression. The truth is that persons with disabilities, be they physical or cognitive, think about and desire sex the same as any other human being. However, persons with disabilities are more likely to be assaulted and their accounts rejected by the police due to difficulties in prosecution. Melanie’s frank discussion on all aspects of sexual health and assault of persons with disabilities highlights the need for better legislation, education, and support from society. Resources discussed in this episode: Episode 2: Don’t Get Sex Education from Aristotle (https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/dont-get-sex-education-from-aristotle/id1796024034?i=1000697352431) Watson Institute: “Sexual Education for Children with Disabilities” (https://www.thewatsoninstitute.org/sexual-education-children-disabilities/) by Dr. Rachel Schwartz NPR: “The Sexual Assault Epidemic No One Talks About” (https://www.npr.org/2018/01/08/570224090/the-sexual-assault-epidemic-no-one-talks-about) by Joseph Shapiro — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript Narrator: [00:00:06] The human need for intimacy is no different for the disabled than it is for anybody else. Yet society has not treated people with special needs appropriately in this regard, be it for stigma, ignorance or disinterest. Well, it's way past time to safeguard the rights of the disabled by getting these issues on the table. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:35] Hello and welcome. If you have been listening to these podcasts, you know that we believe and that we know that we are all sexual beings from the day we're born until the day we die. And that includes everyone. And that includes people with disabilities. They are created as sexual beings, just like the rest of us who may not have a disability. I want to begin today to talk with you about this whole issue, because I think a lot of people are unfamiliar with the manner in which people with disabilities have been treated historically. And I think it's really important to have the context, because actually, until the early 70s, late 70s, if parents with a child who had a physical or a perceived intellectual disability, they were recommended by physicians to place the child in an institution and forget about them. Now, these institutions were often state hospitals that had actually been built for people who were alleged to be mentally ill or insane or whatever. Occasionally states had some kind of facility just for children, but they are the same kind of situation where people were just put and forgotten about. In the late 60s, a deinstitutionalization movement started in this country, and this was the idea that people with mental illnesses or mental problems could be treated in the community. Now, this came about because at the same time, or as a consequence of some research, of course, some medications had been developed that could control some of the mental difficulties that people had and so they could receive medications and live in the community. Melanie Ramey: [00:02:46] The situation was that people who had been in these hospitals for years were suddenly discharged to families, and the families had no idea of what to do. I will never forget a very, very upset client who came to see me, the agency where I worked as a social worker. He had been informed about a week before that his mother, who had lived in the state hospital for 40 years, was being discharged in about a week and that he, as her only child, would be responsible for her. She had been hospitalized shortly after his birth, and through the years, as he grew older, his father told him about her and he visited her in the hospital. After his father died, he continued visiting, however he had married and had two children, but he had never told his wife or his children that his mother was alive, and this was because the stigma about mental illness was so strong that he was afraid that they would think he might become mentally ill, or that he would pass some kind of mental illness onto them, so he never told them. I will never forget visiting his mother in the state hospital where she had lived for 40 years, and together we read her medical record. Melanie Ramey: [00:04:19] And the truth was, she had what we now know as postpartum depression after he was born. And at that time it was thought that she was going crazy, and so the doctor advised her husband to put her in the state hospital, which he did. And there she stayed for 40 years. She was a very pleasant, a very compliant woman who was in her early 70s by then. I saw literally hundreds of persons there in that state Hospital, who had been put there and forgotten and were now suddenly going to be sent out of the hospital. She, I think, was one of the few who still had family that had continued to be with her or to come and visit with her. I managed for her to be transferred directly to the Jewish Center for the aged, where she lived for several more years. After this was accomplished, the client, his wife and his two children came into my office because he wanted to tell them about his mother, but he wanted to do it if I was present, so I could maybe help answer some of their questions. Well, they were shocked, as you can imagine, and they had many questions about what the situation was and so forth. And I think that she was really one of the few that had a good ending to her situation, because the daughter in law and the two daughters got to know her, and they visited with her, and they took her to their home for special occasions. And it was just really one of the classic examples of how the ...

4. 

   5 May 2025

   You Are Never Too Old for Sex, Part 2

   In Part 2 of the ‘You Are Never Too Old for Sex’ episode, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey discusses the need for adult children, caregivers, and assisted living facility staff to understand the sexual and privacy rights of older adults. Melanie shares statistics on how many people remain sexually active past the age of 60 and explains the difficulties facing these adults when they enter care facilities ill-equipped to understand and accommodate their sexual activity and needs. Older adults have sex wherever they live, just as anyone younger may do, which includes their homes, assisted living facilities, or nursing homes. There is a stigma against older adults engaging in sexual activities, so Melanie shares studies, books, and resources that shed light on the need for privacy and dignity regarding the sexual needs of older adults. Their sexual expression is often labelled as sexually inappropriate behavior due to poor staff training and understanding. The truth about education on the needs of older adults in regards to sexual expression is highlighted and explained by Melanie, and it’s a subject we will all face because aging is one thing we all share. Resources discussed in this episode: “The New Love and Sex After 60” (https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0345442113?tag=prhca-20) by Robert Butler, MD and Myrna Lewis, PhD “Sexuality and Long-Term Care” (https://www.amazon.com/Sexuality-Long-Term-PAPERBACK-Gayle-Ph-D/dp/B015GPNFXM) by Gayle Doll, MS, PhD Video: Freedom of Sexual Expression: Dementia and Resident Rights in Long-Term Care Facilities (https://terranova.org/film-catalog/freedom-of-sexual-expression-dementia-and-resident-rights-in-long-term-care-facilities/) — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript Narrator: [00:00:03] Here's a fact that should not be surprising, but probably is. 25% of those aged 75 to 85 are still sexually active. Given that reality, there are implications for privacy, individual rights and sensitivity to the issue among adult children, caregivers and assisted living facilities. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:32] Hello again. In this podcast we are continuing our discussion of sexuality throughout life from the time we're born until we get old, regardless of how old that will be. And this is a podcast for everyone, regardless of your age. Even if you're younger and you keep on breathing, you will get old. This reminds me of the subject of untold research that seeks to determine how and why some people live to be very old. And you see this all the time. You should eat certain things, you shouldn't eat certain things, you should drink certain things, you shouldn't drink certain things, and on and on kinds of ideas as to how it is that you can live to be old. Well, I have the solution and that is keep on breathing. That is the only sure way to live to be old. But this brings us to our topic then today that we're still breathing. As long as we are alive, we are also sexual beings. And so an interesting study in the New England Journal of Medicine revealed that 73% of Americans 57 to 64 years old, report being sexually active, 53% of Americans 64 to 75 years old report being sexually active, 26% of Americans 75 to 85 years old report being sexually active. People who are in excellent or very good health are two times more likely to be sexually active as those in fair or poor health. Women, for example, reported less sexual activity because they lacked sexual partners more often than men. Melanie Ramey: [00:02:29] So where do older adults have sex? Well, in their private homes, in assisted living facilities, or in nursing homes. Obviously, older adults who continue to live in their own homes have more freedom to pursue whatever kind of relationships they choose. Wherever one lives, there are physical conditions that might interfere with sexual functioning. These, of course, can include health issues. They can include certain diseases like vascular disease, heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, cancer, stress incontinence, Parkinson's, depression and dementia. But I'm putting on the Facebook page a reference to a book by Doctor Robert Butler and Myrna Lewis. And they deal with all the different kinds of the medical conditions and how they impact one's sexuality. And so you might want to take a look at that. There are also medications that can interfere with sexual functioning. And these can include the antihypertensive drugs, the lipid lowering agents, diuretics, opioids, antihistamines, stimulants and antidepressants, to name a few. And alcohol and tobacco can also have an effect. So if you begin noticing a change in your sexual functioning and desire and have added a new medication or changed the dosage of one you have been taking, this should be the first place to check and see if that might be what is causing a change. Usually, when taking a prescription medication, you receive some printed information about the possible side effects. Unfortunately, the print is usually so small it's very difficult to read. If you use a computer or iPad or something like that, Google the medicine and it will come up and you can actually read it to understand what the side effects may be. Melanie Ramey: [00:04:50] In reality, the word home is often broadened to include wherever an older adult lives, and this can include residing in an assisted living facility or a nursing home. In either of the special issues that are regarding sexuality can be a problem in these facilities. Assisted livings generally afford privacy and the space is occupied by only one person. Nursing homes are another matter, as they may have more than one unrelated person in a room. I have heard of assisted living facilities that require residents to keep the doors open to their living space. That is not legal. Residents have a right to privacy wherever they live. People are people wherever they live. And one of the issues is that in relation to other residents, to an unmarried couple who may have developed a relationship since coming to live there. And as you know, people like to gossip sometimes and they like to talk about other people, whether they're in an assisted living facility or in the community. It's very often these gossipy things are an expression of jealousy or the expression of a judgmental personality. But it's logical to realize that people living closely together, eating together, engaging in other activities offered by the residents, get more acquainted with other people and notice what other people are doing. Melanie Ramey: [00:06:37] It's very important to understand that these kinds of things come up, and sometimes residents complain about other residents to the staff, and you have all sorts of altercations that get involved. But I would also like to men...

5. 

   21 Apr 2025

   You Are Never Too Old for Sex, Part 1

   In this episode, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey addresses the societal myth that there is an age limit on sex. Simply put, we are never too old for sex. If we are above ground, we are sexual beings. It is a societal construct that leads us to believe we can’t have sex as we age. In reality, it is just as valid to enjoy sexual relations in elderhood as in any other age. Melanie discusses the challenges in finding healthcare providers to talk frankly about sex past 60, the differences in our bodies when we’re older, and how to practice safe sex at any age. Dr. Louise Aronson, a geriatrician at the University of California in San Francisco, wrote a book called “Elderhood” which says that we need to view the third part of our lives with the same concern and curiosity that we view the other two-thirds. Life should be considered a trio: childhood, adulthood, and elderhood. Melanie states that sex should not be compared to sex we had in our youth, but that the important thing is to feel safe, satisfied, and content with whatever sexual experience we are having. This episode challenges negative perceptions around aging bodies and senior sexual experiences by examining all the ways in which we remain sexual beings throughout our lives. Resources discussed in this episode: “Elderhood” (https://louisearonson.com/books/elderhood/) by Louise Aronson — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript Narrator: [00:00:03] Is there an age limit for good sex? Is it unusual for seniors to still want to have sexual relationships? Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Melanie assures us that we do not stop being sexual simply because we've reached a certain age. As long as we are still above ground, we are all sexual beings. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:30] Hello and welcome again. As we have expressed on this program, time after time, our sexuality is the core of who we are as human beings, and sex is what we do. We are sex beings from the time we are born until we die, regardless of how old you live to be. We are going to focus in this podcast about sex as we grow older. So listen up wherever you are on the journey. If you're young, you have parents and grandparents and others you know who are getting older. You may work in a facility where older people live, and if you keep breathing long enough, you will get old. A friend of mine, who is an orthopedic surgeon, told me that the oldest person he had ever done surgery on was a 90 year old man who lived in a nursing home. And it seems that his patient got into an altercation with another resident over a woman they were both interested in. The 90 year old patient leaned out of his wheelchair to hit the other man, leaned too far, fell out and broke his hip, necessitating surgery by my friend. Now, this is just one of many examples I could cite that shows us that as long as we live, we can desire emotional relationships and caring by another human being, including sexual relationships. Melanie Ramey: [00:02:07] In 2019, Doctor Louise Aronson, a geriatrician at the University of California in San Francisco, wrote the New York Times bestseller Elderhood. I highly recommend this book and will list it on the Facebook page. In her book, she tells us that we need to look at the third part of life with the same concern, curiosity, sensitivity and vigor that we view the other two thirds. She suggests that we should really view life as childhood, adulthood and elderhood as there are changes that occur when we reach 65 and older. An important discussion in her book, I think, is how she talks about the little education that physicians receive about geriatrics. In her case, about 30 minutes during her medical education. I recently talked with a young student who will be receiving a bachelor's degree in nursing in a couple of months, and she has also received zero information about geriatrics. This is relevant because advice columnists, article writers, book editors, so forth and the like are always suggesting that you speak with your health care professional, formerly known as doctors and nurses, for virtually everything, including questions about sexuality. Well, I'm sorry to tell you, you're not likely to get very much help. As a matter of fact, the health care professionals should actually be doing a sexual health assessment for you. I have done an informal survey of probably several hundred people as to those who have had a sexual health assessment. None had had it. If you're having pain during intercourse or if you're having erectile dysfunction, obviously you need to speak with a health care professional and perhaps you need some sort of medication. And sometimes women fare a little bit better, as they may get referred to a gynecologist who can be helpful. But I have heard from several men who have tried to speak with their physician about erectile dysfunction, and they report a variation on the theme of the same experience that the physician seems to be very embarrassed, he hastily writes a prescription, and leaves the room. You will actually be better served by consulting with a sex educator, a psychologist, or social worker, clinical social worker who has special training in this area. Melanie Ramey: [00:05:15] I recently saw an article that posed the question, can you have good sex after 70? Well, the answer would be the same if the question had been can you have good sex after 40? There is no reason why people cannot continue to have good sex as long as they live. If it's 70, 80 or 90 years old. Obviously sex may not be the same as it was when you were 40, but at 40 it's not the same as it was when you were 20. No big deal. The issue is not trying to compare to some previous experience or idea. What is important is that you feel safe, satisfied, and content with whatever your sexual experience is. Melanie Ramey: [00:06:16] A common experience is that sometimes one divorces or a partner dies after a long relationship. As with the story I told at the beginning of this podcast, nursing home residents having an altercation about a woman, it is not unusual to see older couples marrying. A few years ago, I read a very interesting article in the New York Times about a man who was a widower, and he celebrated his 100th birthday by getting married to a widow he had known for several years. And recently there was a clip on the news about a couple who are both 99, getting married. Presently, about 17% of Americans who are over 65, with an additional 6000 joining the ranks every day, there is no question that we were in the midst of a huge demographic change, which challenges our ideas and attitudes about aging in general, and certainly our society's view about sexuality later in life has not caught up even with the character of aging in general. Not only the young and middle aged, but older people themselves are quite negativ...

6. 

   7 Apr 2025

   Sexy Brain

   In this episode, host, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey talks about the most sexually stimulated part of our bodies: our brains. While we may assume everything sex-related occurs below the waist, the brain is the most complex organ known to us. Arousal, emotions, addiction, everything happens in our brains. Melanie discusses addiction, pornography, and learning to control our emotions, backed by in-depth research and experience. One of the first things to understand about pornography is that it’s accessible, affordable, and anonymous. Melanie cites studies with statistics on the percentages of men and women, adult and adolescent, revealing their porn habits, and the numbers are high. She explains what porn addiction looks like and the damaging dysregulation that occurs in the midbrain of young people exposed to porn too early. Addiction, Melanie reveals, often occurs when we try to suppress negative emotions with something else. Learning to regulate and face our own emotions helps us in many ways, but importantly, it helps us explore sex healthily and communicatively. Resources discussed in this episode: “Sex Position Coloring Book: Playtime for Couples” (https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sex-position-coloring-book-editors-of-hollan-publishing/1114335641) — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript [00:00:02] The most complicated organ in the body is responsible for our arousal and sexual interest. You might be surprised to learn that action below the belt doesn't even compare to what's going on upstairs. Never underestimate the importance of the human brain when it comes to desire and happiness. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:29] If you've been listening to these podcasts, you know that we deal with the whole gamut of our sexuality as it is the core of what makes us human. Sexuality is who we are. Sex is what we do. Most often, people have the idea that sex has to do with what is below the waist. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sex has to do with what is in our heads, our brains. Now, for example, we know that the brain is made up of 100 billion cells. That's right, 100 billion. And they connect with 7000 other cells throughout the body. The brain is the most complicated object in the known universe. The desire and consummation, for example, of a sexual act, occurs in three phases in different parts of the brain. With such a complex object, the research on the brain is also very complicated. We are just beginning to learn how addictions are caused by specific areas in the brain being stimulated. That includes alcoholism, gambling, iPhones and maybe pornography. The jury is still out, according to some, as to whether or not porn is an addiction or not. However, it is clear that porn is a problem for some people. They are doing fascinating work at the University of West Virginia, where they are using lasers to alter specific areas of the brain for people with drug addictions. And as the technology for using MRIs, lasers and other technological approaches develop, we will undoubtedly get a more definitive answer. However, an addiction expert, Robert Taibbi, has demonstrated how excessive porn use rewires the brain, causing sexual problems. Melanie Ramey: [00:03:03] Taibbi points out that there are many 20 year olds with a porn addiction, evidenced by excessive use, who have to take Viagra on a regular basis because their midbrains have been dysregulated, affecting their ability to get aroused. I will cite one of his articles on the Facebook page, so you can benefit from his experience in working with people who are addicted. But on the other hand, some proponents say that erotica can enhance their sexual experiences and are a safe recreational outlet. In a 2002 study by the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana, 86% of those responding thought porn could be educational, 72% thought it was a harmless outlet for fantasies. 80% of those using porn felt that it was okay. 9% of those using said they had tried unsuccessfully to stop. Men and women report different responses to using porn. Clearly, many people use porn without a problem. How and when it becomes an addiction is still a question in search of a definitive answer. I will post some more references on the Facebook page if you're interested in reading some of the other studies. Whether it is an addiction, it is clear that those who use porn regularly have intense urgings or cravings for sex. They turned to porn when they are anxious. They struggle at home, they struggle at work, so they turn to porn. Some expert believes that there is a link between porn and dissatisfaction with relationships, but there is wide agreement that if porn is getting in the way of your day to day functioning, it's a problem and you need some help dealing with it. Melanie Ramey: [00:05:35] Some signs of that are that if porn becomes a central part of your life, you stop doing things you enjoy so you can see more porn. You neglect personal care. You always say, well, I'm going to go out and buy new clothes tomorrow or whatever, but you don't. You stay home and watch porn. You lose interest in other activities. You lose interest in social encounters and it changes your relationships with other people. You are watching it at places that are inappropriate, like at school or at your workplace, and your sex life starts to be unfulfilling, even if it does exist. You can't stop looking at porn even when you try. And if you have been watching porn compulsively for six months or more, you have a problem and you need some help. Regardless of one's opinion about pornography for adults, there is no equivocation among those with working brain cells that it's a very negative influence on children. The American College of Pediatricians has published a lengthy research article, updated in 2024, with the most recent findings with regard to children and women. I will put these on Facebook so that you can read them for yourselves. Now, I will digress here to say that I always recommend that you read studies yourself. When you see a study referred to in a newspaper article, it is often colored by the knowledge or lack thereof of the person extrapolating the article, and may be incorrect or inconclusive. One of my sisters was a scientist and she was always exhorting her students and others to read the studies. You may discover, for example, that it's based on interviews of six people in a broom closet or other information that makes it highly questionable. When I give a study reference on the Facebook page for this podcast, I have read them. Melanie Ramey: [00:08:07] But let's fast forward the study in 2002, the Kinsey Institute to today. In the last decade, the last ten years, there has been a tremendous increase in pornographic material that is available to both adults and children. Its use has gotte...

7. 

   17 Mar 2025

   Self Respect

   In this episode, host, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey talks about self-respect: what it means and how to nurture it. Self-respect is a key component in our sexuality and in having sex with partners. But what exactly does having self-respect look like? And what kind of values does it align with? Melanie breaks down the fundamental nature of self-respect and explores how it affects sex, intimacy, and relationships. There are four main red flags that indicate a person likely lacks self-respect. Melanie identifies them as, 1) Over-apologizing, 2) Fear of expressing opinions, 3) Constant self-deprecation, and 4) Tolerating disrespect. If we see ourselves in these examples, Melanie counsels us not to despair and outlines how to develop self-respect. She offers poignant examples of the sorts of values that self-respect aligns with, such as compassion, commitment, and generosity. She also defines the difference between self esteem and self-respect. Often they are used interchangeably but they speak to quite different things. This episode provides guidance for examining how much self-respect we have and how to ensure it is involved in our sexual partnerships and our lives. Resources discussed in this episode: “Aretha: From These Roots” (https://www.amazon.com/Aretha-These-Roots-Franklin/dp/0375500332) by Aretha Franklin and David Ritz Desiderata Go placidly amidst the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.  If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.  Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself.  Especially do not feign affection.  Neither be cynical about love;  for in the face of all ardity  and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.  But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.  You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars, you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.  And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.  Be cheerful.  Strive to be happy. By Max Ehrmann, 1927 — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript Self-respect and sexuality go hand in hand. When people engage in sex without respecting oneself and their partners, they are going down a very dangerous road. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Here's Melanie. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:24] Hello and welcome to Sexually Speaking. On this podcast, as you know, we focus on sexuality as the core of our being as humans throughout our lives. Sexuality is who we are. Sex is what we do. A big part of our daily life has to do with our emotions. Emotions are how we respond to events and situations. We make decisions based on whether we are happy, sad, frustrated, or bored. We also choose activities and hobbies based on the emotions they create. It is really necessary for us to understand our emotions so that we can manage them to our benefit. For example, making a decision when you are angry is very often a mistake. You should take time to cool down, maybe even sleep on it, and then think about the issue and make a thoughtful decision. One important area that elicits an emotional reaction is our self-respect. Do we respect ourselves? How do others respect us, or do they? Both are very critical questions. When the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, released her recording of the song Respect in 1967, it was a huge success. As she later wrote in her autobiography, Aretha: From These Roots, it spoke to a need in the country at that time. Every human needed to be respected. So what was going on that time? Well, the Vietnam War was going on, and soldiers were returning from the war and were not even being thanked for their service because the war was so unpopular. 58,000 American soldiers had died in the war, and another 150,000 were wounded. And at home, the civil rights movement was underway, and people were trying to be sure that they could have the right to vote. And the women's movement was also gaining traction with demands for equal pay for equal work. So respect was really on everyone's mind. Melanie Ramey: [00:03:05] So in understanding of one's sexuality, respect is key. Self-respect is basic to being respected by others. Self-respect is essential for living a fulfilling life. Recently, the news has carried reports of two women who have had a physical interaction with a large number of men in a short period of time, like 100 in a 12 hour period. You will know the use of the term interaction, as it is simply nothing but a human form of whack a mole, with the female body functioning as the mole and the male penis as a whacker. This kind of behavior does nothing but reduce the female body to a human garbage bin, while the male contribution is reduced to garbage, but I actually saw something quite funny in the English press. It seems that where this human whack a mole event was occurring, there was a line of men outside this sort of sleazy hotel waiting for their two minute turn. And a woman was driving by and she saw her son in this line. She stopped her car, got out and confronted him, demanding to know what he thought he was doing and declaring that he had not been raised to be in such a place. Well, you can just imagine how mortified he was. And he began protesting. He was 19 and he was an adult, and he could do whatever, he thought. Well, his mother thought otherwise, and she grabbed him by the arm and literally dragged him out, all the while berating him. Well, as you can imagine too, this drew quite a crowd, and as the other men in line were also listening. I don't know how he missed his mother's early teachings, but I am sure that that is an experience that he will never forget. It's r...

8. 

   3 Mar 2025

   Bareback is for Horses (Safety First!)

   In this episode, host, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey addresses safe sex. She explains certain terms (bareback, for example) and clearly outlines the benefits and risks of engaging in sexual activities. Sex is pleasurable! But safety comes first. Melanie highlights the six important things to remember for sex to be safe and includes information on STIs, STDs, condoms, and communication among other vital advice. The six things to remember are: 1) Get tested for STDs, 2) Use a condom correctly, 3) Do not use an expired condom, 4) Birth control medications don’t stop STDs, 5) Anal sex is not a sure way to avoid pregnancy, and 6) It’s possible, though unlikely, to still get pregnant while menstruating. Melanie gets real about infections, preventative steps, and pregnancy. She explores the history of condoms - they’ve been around since the Ancient Romans started using them - and details the importance of communication between partners. Resources discussed in this episode: Dental Dams (https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/dental-dam) “Contraception: A Concise History (The MIT Press Essential Knowledge series)” (https://www.amazon.com/Contraception-Concise-History-Essential-Knowledge/dp/0262538423/ref=sr_1_2?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.VQq6CiS0Q964QUXIM98fijUMF1ueBK-i-2VXkptqVqQcVrY5xrf8oM-ERG2lE3ERJS2vQb7CGTsqmbocrM4LmQ.doHMkw0aTOgJVh3jSmoG6CL1GwFBYn4_5l-YIVa4nHE&dib_tag=se&qid=1740481633&refinements=p_27%3ADonna+Drucker&s=books&sr=1-2) by Donna J. Drucker STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) (https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/std.html) Talking to Your Partner About STDs (https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/the-talk.html) — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript Sex is fun and enjoyable, but only if we're safe and not putting each other at risk. Sexually transmitted diseases are all too common, and we'd be wise to protect ourselves. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Today, Melanie discusses the basics about communication related to safe sex and how to protect each other from disease. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:31] Hello, and welcome to Sexually Speaking. This is Melanie Ramey, and I'm really glad you joined us today because I want to remind you about something that happened in 2001. It was really quite interesting because in 2001, the Surgeon General of the United States, at that time he was General David Satcher, issued what was known as a call to action to promote sexual health and responsible sexual behavior. Now, this was the first time that the United States government really had recognized the importance of sexual health. The report really focused on sexual health as a part of overall health and well-being, and Doctor Satcher's report contained many of the aspects that were contained in the World Health Organization definition of sexuality that we also use on this program, that the sex, our sexuality, is the very core of who we are as human beings throughout our life. It's not the absence of disease, but it is a normal, positive and healthy aspect of human life. Now, I also want to point out that our programs do not focus on a certain age range because of sexuality being a part of your life from the day you're born till the day you die, there are many things that you will learn on these programs that will apply to you as long as you live. So, you know, I don't think that we want to think of it as just being certain times in our life. Melanie Ramey: [00:02:20] Someone recently wrote in a question and they asked, Melanie, what do you think about going bareback? Well, since I'm not a veterinarian, my response to that is, first of all, if a person is trying to get pregnant and you are really, really sure that your partner does not have an STI or an STD, then it's fine. In case you aren't familiar with the term, it really means having sex without a barrier. And of course, it's taken from riding a horse without a saddle. I am sure that there are some sharp business types listening in who are familiar with the term RBA Risk Benefit Analysis. This is where the potential risk of an action is compared to the potential benefit. So let's do an RBA about going bareback. The risk is unwanted pregnancy and/or contracting a STI or STD. The benefit is a pregnancy, if one is trying to conceive, and heightened sensation from skin to skin contact. So that's what the RBA would tell us. But going bareback really requires a conversation between the two persons as to the risks, the expectations and the boundaries. Be sure both have been tested recently for STIs. Keep using a barrier until both have the results and then decide how you want to proceed. Just remember that you both have the right to change your minds at any time, regardless of the effect. Melanie Ramey: [00:04:25] There is no question sex can be a very enjoyable experience, but only if it's safe for those involved. And there are really six important things to remember for sex to be safe. The first thing is, if you are sexually active, it's very important to be tested for STDs Sexually Transmitted Diseases periodically. Some STDs are have very mild symptoms and some not at all. You can ask your primary physician to test you or go to a clinic like health service if you're in college or university or a Planned Parenthood clinic. This is very important as you can transmit the disease to another person as it was transmitted to you. You will also hear the term STI. STIs and STDs are sometimes used interchangeably, although they are different. A STI is a bacteria or virus that can become a disease, and it's a disease when it interferes with a bodily process or function. Some STIs do not become STDs if they're treated near the beginning, but most do. The CDC reports that 1 in 5 people. Have an STI or STD, and that 50% are between the ages of 15 and 24. So that leaves 50% that are over 24. And that can be 50, 60, 70, 80, 90. Anybody can get an STD or an STI if they are infected by another person. So STDs are really serious matters. Melanie Ramey: [00:06:32] A second thing to ensure that you are going to have safe sex is to use a condom correctly. It's really the only way to help protect yourself from getting an STD and pregnancy, but only if you use it the right way. Only put a condom on an erect or hard penis. Push any air out of the end and pull it all of the way down. When you are finished having sex, then take hold of the base and pull out. It's simple and necessary, but I am always amazed at how many people have not been taught how to put a condom on correctly. This is something that every father should be able to teach his son, or every mother should be able to teach her son. It's not that complicated, but it's very critical. Another thing about using a condom is do not use an expired condom. Condoms expire just like milk and other kinds o...

9. 

   3 Mar 2025

   Hug Like A Bear

   In this episode, host, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey talks all about the largest and most sensitive organ in the human body: skin. Touch is a vital part of our sexuality. It’s a fundamental human need that we require from the day we’re born. Positive touch is essential for our mental health. Negative touch has a lasting and reactive impact. Melanie explores all the types of touch we can encounter throughout our lives, why it’s so foundational, and how to find the necessary connection through touch. According to scientists, there are seven benefits of human touch. Melanie goes through them one by one: 1) Reduces stress, 2) Boosts immune system, 3) Enhances emotional well-being, 4) Reduces pain, 5) Improves heart health, 6) Builds trust and security, and 7) Enhances social connections. To illustrate how vital contact can be, Melanie describes the different ways we can give and receive hugs. From a brief show of support to a passionate embrace, hugs can meet many of our touch needs. Join Melanie to learn about skin, touch, hugs, and the impact of connection. Resources discussed in this episode: Hugimals Heart to Hug Pillow (https://www.hugimalsworld.com/products/heart-to-hug-pillow-fearless-red) — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript Touch. You're it. Sexuality is no game. But today we hear about the power of the caress, the hug, and massage. Did you know that touch provides therapeutic benefits, both physical and emotional? Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Today, Melanie discusses touch, that very human way of expressing affection and concern for each other. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:39] Hello and welcome to Sexually Speaking. On these podcasts, we explore and learn about the core of being human. I like to use the World Health definition that says sexuality encompasses a broad range of behaviors, roles, sex identities. It actually also encompasses our sexual orientation, intimacy, and reproduction. So sexuality is really the core of our human being, and we think of it in terms of understanding ourselves from the day we're born until the day we die. We are sexual human beings. So sex is something that we do. Sexuality is who we are. My experiences as a sex educator and therapist are both wide and deep, and I am really pleased that you are joining me today. Melanie Ramey: [00:01:38] And so I want to start off with a pretend exercise. Pretend that you are in a class on human anatomy. You have just finished learning all about the human body, all the different organs and all the different parts. So now we're having a little quiz. And the important question is what organ of the body is the largest and the most sensitive? Well, in case you missed it, it is the skin. The skin is our largest and most sensitive organ because it is covered by millions of nerve endings. There are also various receptors located on different parts of the skin. For example, the receptors in the feet are not nearly as sensitive as receptors in our face, etc. So certain receptors perceive temperature, for example, and they perceive temperature and the changes that help us adapt to the various environments that we are in and that ensures our comfort and our safety. Other receptors, for example, help detect pain, alerting us to potential harm and prompting protective responses. Melanie Ramey: [00:03:00] Given this intricate network of sensory receptors, it is no wonder that touch is such a vital aspect of the human experience. The skin sensitivity not only allows us to navigate our surroundings, but also plays a fundamental role in our emotional and social lives. The sensation of touch, for example, can evoke a wide range of emotions, from comfort and reassurance to excitement and desire, making it an essential component of our overall well-being. Our interactions with our skin is basically through touch. Touch is a fundamental human need that begins from the from the moment we are born. It is a primary way through which we connect with others and experience the world around us. This sensation of touch can convey comfort, can convey love, can convey reassurance as well as desire and intimacy. The touch is actually a language in itself. Often speaking louder than words. And touch can vary greatly in its expression and in its meaning. For example, a gentle caress can be soothing and affirming, while a passionate embrace can ignite the flames of desire. Our skin is incredibly sensitive, capable of detecting even the slightest changes in temperature and texture and impression. This sensitivity makes touch an essential part of our sexual and emotional lives. Melanie Ramey: [00:05:05] Now let's think about relationships. We know that in relationships, touch can actually strengthen the bonds and further deeper intimacy. It helps to build trust, and it helps to build connection, allowing partners to communicate that affection and support without the need for words. However, the significance and appropriateness of touch can be influenced by other factors. Cultural factors, social factors, personal boundaries. Understanding and respecting these boundaries is absolutely critical to ensuring that touch remains a positive and consensual experience for all the parties involved. So as we explore the various dimensions of touch, keep in mind the profound impact that it has on our well-being and the intricate ways it shapes our sexuality and our relationships. For example, scientists have determined that there are seven key benefits of human touch. Seven. First of all, human touch reduces stress. Touch can lower cortisol levels, reducing stress and promoting relaxation. A second thing that touch can do, it can boost the immune system. Regular positive touch can increase the body's production of natural antibodies and strengthen the immune system. A third thing it does is it really enhances emotional well-being. Touch stimulates the release of oxytocin, which is known as the love hormone, which enhances mood and emotional well-being. A fourth thing it does is reduces pain. Therapeutic touch, such as massage, can alleviate chronic pain and reduce physical discomfort. For the fifth thing touch can do is to improve heart health. Physical affection can lead to lower blood pressure and to healthier heart rate, contributing obviously to overall cardiovascular health. And the sixth thing it does is build trust and security. Touch fosters a sense of safety and trust, critical for healthy relationships and personal security. And finally, touch enhances social connections. Positive touch can strengthen social bonds and improve interpersonal relationships, leading to a more connected and supportive social network. These benefits really do highlight the essential role of touch in our lives, underscoring its importance not only in intimate relationships but overall health and well-being. Melanie Ramey: [00:08:31] And I think it's obvious that that includes our mental heal...

10. 

    3 Mar 2025

    Sex Talk

    In the second episode of Sexually Speaking, host Melanie Ramey, a sex educator and therapist, talks about the importance of addressing sexuality in child-rearing. Helping children understand that their sexuality is natural, good, and definitely nothing to be ashamed of is key to healthy development. Melanie discusses brain development and what babies actually absorb in their early years that leave a lasting impact all their lives. “The main thing the child needs is love” according to Melanie. The most lasting impact on a child is love and the attention of caregivers. They also imprint the ways that caregivers interact with their bodies. If genitalia is treated as something naughty or forbidden, the child grows up with a negative impression of that part of the body. Melanie explores why skin-to-skin contact is so key for babies in terms of positive reinforcement and she dives into why it’s important to teach children the proper names for body parts and functions. Not naming things correctly leaves children at a disadvantage when speaking to health professionals and doctors. Join Melanie as she unpacks sexuality in early development and shines a light on what really matters. Resources discussed in this episode: “Euphemania: Our Love Affair with Euphemisms” (https://www.amazon.com/Euphemania-Our-Love-Affair-Euphemisms/dp/0316056561) by Ralph Keyes — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript What do babies know about sexuality? It's a provocative and important question. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Today, Melanie discusses the importance of child rearing with respect to sexuality and how important it is to help children understand that their sexuality is good and natural, and certainly nothing to feel ashamed about. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:34] Hello and welcome again to Sexually Speaking. I know that you didn't tune in today to do word trivia, but I think we're going to talk about a word that maybe you don't know. The word is epigenetics. Epigenetics is a very interesting word, and it has to do with our sexuality. You see, epigenetics is a science of habitable things that we inherit that are in our cells but do not change our DNA. So epigenetics is something that we've just been learning about in the last 20 years, with a lot of studies in the United States and in the United Kingdom. Did you know, for example, that the human brain has 100 billion cells? 100 billion. And they connect with seven thousand other cells throughout the human body. It's truly amazing. And in fact, it's much faster than a computer, much more complicated than a computer, and it is the most complicated object in the known universe. The human brain is tremendous, and there's something even more shocking, that the most important development of the brain begins in the womb. And then in the first year of life, it develops rapidly. And by the time a child is three years of age, they have developed 90% of the brain that they will have as an adult. So this is a time of really rapid growth when a child is very young, and it's a time that the brain is very vulnerable and it's also very complex. Melanie Ramey: [00:02:48] And in fact, the brain makes 1000 synapse per second. As you can just imagine, all of this going on inside the brain of a baby and a young child, and how important what pathways are laid down in the brain can be to the future development of the child. Since the study of epigenetics has only been going on in recent years, I think that we have only learned how important the experiences that babies have and how they actually, these formative years are the times when the pathways - these are the habitable, the inherited things from parents that are not in the DNA, and the caregivers - are laid down. Where the child then begins to learn about relationships, begins to learn about itself. And clearly the brain is busy working every day from the day the child is born. And this is really how we began to get an understanding of our sexuality, is with these early experiences with the caregivers. The effects of the interaction between the babies and their caregivers is absolutely the foundation of what happens to them throughout the rest of their lives. And this is so critical because, you know, it's the reason why some people think that people should have a license to become a parent. And, you know, it's a very difficult job and it lasts a lifetime. If you think about if you're going to prepare for a job that maybe you're going to have for a few years, well, you might go to college even to take college courses, or you might go to technical school, or you might have to take some online courses to prepare yourself for a job that might even just last a few years, but for a job that lasts all of the rest of your life, or you'll always be a parent, it's not an easy job, and it's not simple. But unfortunately, there aren't many ways that people get prepared. Melanie Ramey: [00:05:21] For example, pregnancy can result from a one night stand where somebody has given no thought to the consequences whatsoever. So, you know, it's really a serious matter that we need to think more about it. It's very interesting because the way that families have developed in the last 50,000 years have been by people living in extended families and people having the opportunity to see how their grandparents and their parents and their aunts and uncles parented. They've had the opportunity to even maybe babysit younger siblings, things like that. So they learned sort of how to have some parenting skills. And but in more recent times, that's not possible. I mean, most people do not live in extended families and in fact, not even living in proximity to their nuclear family at all is much more common now. So it's made it much harder for people to understand how to be a parent and what is all involved. Now, I was born before the age of epigenetics, and it's very interesting when I think about it, because my father parented us as he was parented in the large family into which he was born. And he liked to rock to us, rock us in a rocking chair, and sing. Melanie Ramey: [00:06:57] And rocking chairs, of course, were very common in pieces of furniture in the South. And so he always maintained that he wore out about three songbooks on each child. And he was a man ahead of his time in terms of caring for us when we were babies. Now, my father was not a demonstrative man but I always had the feeling that he loved me. And I really think, as I reflect on it, that it goes back to that time when I was a baby and my father used to rock me and sing to me because it made me feel very secure. And it had a very good lifelong effect upon me, and I think it did all of my siblings, some of them actually can also sing. I am not gifted with that for sure. But in any event, it's these kinds of positive experiences that make all the difference in terms of how children are able to develop and the pathways that are...

11. 

    3 Mar 2025

    Don’t Get Sex Education from Aristotle

    Welcome to the inaugural episode of Sexually Speaking with host, sex educator and therapist, Melanie Ramey. Melanie will cover all the topics we’ve ever wanted to learn more about regarding sex and sexuality but were too reluctant to ask. In this first episode, she examines the origins of sexual understanding, the misconceptions about sex through the ages, and the broad definition we use to define human sexuality today. Melanie states that “Sexuality is who we are and sex is something we do” which means that sexuality is at the very core of what it means to be human. She takes us back in history to examine some of the ways our ancestors believed that procreation worked. Aristotle, for example, believed blood transported seed to fertilize a woman. Humanity went through several misguided eras when it came to how human babies came to be and it was a bit of a journey to get to our scientific modern understanding. Melanie breaks it all down in a fascinating exploration of our sexual understanding through the ages and debunks some rather wild theories along the way. Resources discussed in this episode: Cake That Is Better Than Sex (allegedly): This is a fabulous treat. It is a rich chocolate cake with sweetened condensed milk, caramel sauce, whipped topping and chopped Heath bars that make this cake very seducible.  It is very easy to make. Before you start to cook anything it is best to Mise en place (a French culinary term) which means to gather. Put all of the ingredients you will be using arranged nearby before you start. You will need: Mixing bowl and a 9x13 inch cake pan 1 box Devils Food cake mix and ingredients to make it:  3 eggs and water 1 (14oz) can sweetened condensed milk ¾ cup Caramel sauce (180 ml) 1 (8 oz) container of Cool Whip Heath candy bars chopped up Directions Bake the Devil's Food cake according to the directions for a 9x13 inch cake.  Cool for 20 minutes until warm, not hot. Use a wooden skewer, chopstick or fork to poke holes all over the cake.  Be careful not to go to the bottom of the cake. Pour the condensed milk over the cake lifting it gently so that the milk covers all of the holes. Drizzle the caramel sauce over the cake.  Cool to room temperature and cool in the refrigerator for 2 hours or cover and refrigerate overnight. When ready to serve, spread the Cool Whip over the top of the cake and sprinkle with the chopped candy bars. Slice into squares to serve. Can be kept in the refrigerator for up to 2 days, if it lasts that long. Tips: Should you not like chocolate for whatever reason, you could make your own cake or use a white or yellow boxed mix. (the box mixes save a lot of time) For more chocolate, you could use fudge sauce instead of caramel. If you don’t like Heath bars use Butterfinger, Oreos or whatever suits your fancy. You can make the cake part a week ahead of time. Wrap it well and keep it in the refrigerator for a week or freeze it for a longer period of time.  When ready to use thaw and apply toppings. — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ — Transcript Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. In her inaugural episode, Melanie discusses the origins of sexual understanding and how our thinking about sex evolved through the ages, from wacky theories that were later disproved, to misconceptions about the Puritans, who Melanie says were actually very sexy people. Enjoy our first installment of Melanie's program. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:33] Hello and welcome to Sexually Speaking. I am Melanie Ramey, and it is a pleasure to greet you today. And I'm glad you joined us because I think that our subject of sexuality and understanding it is very important. In my years as a sex educator and therapist, I have had experience across many venues from medical clinics to working with single moms, to working with staffs in senior citizen communities to really understand and have insight into our sexuality throughout our lives. And we are sexual beings from the day we're born until the day we die, regardless of how old we get to be. And I think that there will be something that you may learn today that you haven't already known before. And I think that's important that we understand about our sexuality as much as possible, because it really makes us more comfortable with ourselves and with our relationships. Melanie Ramey: [00:01:47] As far as definitions go, I like to use the one of the World Health Organization, and it's really quite broad, but it really tells us that sexuality is the foundation of who we are as human beings. As we have our different podcasts, you'll be able to send in questions, for example, and we'll share some funny stories and about our humanness. And I even have a great recipe for a cake that's reputed to be better than sex. So I'll put that on the Facebook page and you can have access to it and maybe make it, and then you can let us know if it's got the correct name or not. But in any event, as we begin to talk about sexuality and the definition of it, I think the World Health Organization is about the best one that I know. That sexuality is, in every respect, the basis of being human throughout our lives. And it encompasses sex, gender, roles, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. So sexuality is who we are. Sex is something that we do. So it's really at the core of our being as humans. And it's how that we understand our sexuality and how we manifest it helps us to have a much better understanding of ourselves. Melanie Ramey: [00:03:29] We have really only understood about human reproduction less than 200 years. And when you think of human history, less than 200 years is simply like the blink of an eye lash. It is really no time at all. I'm sure that in your studies and in your readings and maybe things you've seen on television, you have come across the great Greek philosopher Aristotle. Now, Aristotle lived in the three hundreds and is very interesting about Aristotle and his buds. They were very interested in hereditary. They wanted to know how animals could be bred to turn out to be certain kinds of animals they were looking for. But old Aristotle and his friends were clueless when it came to sex. They actually thought everything was in the blood. And so they had the idea that when the male planted his seed at the time of intercourse, that it went into the blood. And then that's how something came out in a few months. So they did not know anything. Well, if we want to think a little bit more about this, let's fast forward a few hundred years to the seventh and eighth century. And here some others came along with equally clueless idea. They had the idea that women had inside of them all a whole bunch of pre-formed hum...

12. 

    3 Feb 2025

    Trailer: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey

    Sex education and sexual interest don’t end at a certain age. Melanie Ramey is here not only to debunk myths about sexuality, sexual involvement, and connection later in life but to shed light on sexual information for all ages. This podcast will answer the questions that were never properly answered in health class and address the sex information we need but are too reluctant to discuss. Join Melanie for frank discussions about bodies, sexual health, desire, and age, with honesty and humor. — Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanie (https://www.instagram.com/sexuallyspeakingwithmelanie/) Facebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572528337220) Linkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey (https://www.linkedin.com/company/sexually-speaking-with-melanie-ramey) — Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Spotify

5.0 / 5

1 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 17 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

22

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

32

Contact Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.