ShxtsNGigs

About ShxtsNGigs

The ByTheWayItsMensa Show Standards for Wealth, Leadership, and Legacy. The ByTheWayItsMensa Show is a weekly conversation about building a life that's actually yours, wealth, leadership, discipline, legacy, mindset, and freedom, with relationships woven in when the moment calls for it. Hosted by KJ.Mensah, author of Standards, this show speaks first to Africans building a life across two continents and Africans building at home, and just as directly to African American listeners and anyone else navigating the same tension between where you come from and who you're becoming. Some weeks it's a solo teaching episode breaking down a real standard to live by. Other weeks it's a listener's own story, a real coaching session, or an honest answer to a question sent in. No guest required, no filler, no performance. Just real talk about building wealth that lasts, leading without losing yourself, discipline that holds when no one's watching, and the kind of legacy and love worth actually building on purpose. New episodes weekly. Standards you can actually keep.

Publisher

KJ.Mensah

Category

education · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

9 Jun 2022

Latest episode

29 Aug 2026

Latest episodes

69 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   29 Aug 2026

   Your People Will Never See Your Worth

   KJ shares the story of the boutique business his in-law pushed him and his wife out of, took everything from, and never paid for, and how that loss made him question his own worth. He breaks down why your value as a person was never tied to income or success, then turns to women who've built a masculine shell to survive life and encourages them to embrace their feminine nature at home. 0:00 The True Meaning of Self-Worth 4:09 Business Failures and Self-Doubt 8:19 The Impact of Society on Self-Perception 11:28 Building Character and Personal Standards 14:24 Embracing Femininity and Personal Growth 18:51 Supporting Women in Building Standards #StandardsBook #KnowYourWorth #CharacterOverMoney #SelfWorth #GhanaianCommunity #AfricanDiaspora #BusinessFailure #FamilyBetrayal #ManhoodMatters #BlackManhood #FeminineEnergy #MasculineEnergy #RelationshipCoach #LifeCoach #MarriedStillMessy #PodcastClips #GhanaianInDiaspora #BuildYourStandards masculine energy, feminine energy, self worth, know your worth, standards book, KJ Mensah, married still messy, relationship coach, life coach, marriage advice, business betrayal, family betrayal, in law problems, business failure story, character over money, feminine energy at home, masculine and feminine dynamics, black manhood, black relationships, Ghanaian diaspora, African diaspora, Ghanaian community, relationship podcast, marriage podcast, podcast clips, dating advice, women and relationships, healing from betrayal, entrepreneurship failure, building your standards, bythewayitsmensa

2. 

   22 Aug 2026

   This is How You Prevent People From Using You.

   Being used does not start when someone crosses your boundary - it starts when you never built one. Mensa breaks down the uncomfortable truth behind victim-playing, gaslighting, and why people keep pushing until you speak up.This episode is for anyone who feels drained by friendships, relationships, family dynamics, or business situations that keep overstepping the line. Mensa explains why standards come first, boundaries come second, and discipline is what keeps both from collapsing the moment things get uncomfortable.You (http://uncomfortable.You)’ll discover: How to spot the pattern of being used while the other person acts like the victim Why standards in finance, friendship, relationships, and business protect you before conflict starts The difference between healthy compromise and compromising your way into stupidity Mensa’s “skinny and fat friend” theory and the hidden dynamic it reveals in real life A simple step-by-step approach to building discipline without getting overwhelmed by the “mountain” ahead Mensa also shares how his book Standards and his coaching process are designed to help you build a stronger internal framework, whether you want to work through it on your own or with guidance. He closes with a practical nightly reflection habit that can help you understand what upsets you, what makes you happy, and what you’re actually learning about yourself.If you’re tired of repeating the same painful patterns and want a clearer way to protect your energy, this conversation gives you a direct framework to start with. Essential listening if you need better boundaries, more self-respect, and the discipline to hold your line.

3. 

   24 Jul 2026

   Victim Mindset & Bigger Weddings: Two Signs You're Setting Yourself Up to Fail"

   The bigger the wedding, the bigger the divorce — and after doing it twice, I'm telling you why that's not a coincidence. In this episode we get into it: the victim mindset excuse that's holding people back, a hard look at the politics nobody wants to say out loud, and then we go deep on marriage — why a massive wedding is often a red flag, how having kids changes attraction, and the money conversation every couple needs to have before saying "I do." If you're engaged, married, or just trying to understand relationships and money better, this one's for you. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Victim mindset — stop making excuses 01:06 Politics, welfare & personal responsibility 02:55 Corporate America & the mindset trap 05:25 BLM, immigration & who really benefits 07:48 The bigger the wedding, the bigger the divorce 09:51 How kids change attraction (be honest) 12:16 What a "non-negotiable" wedding really tells you 14:37 Final word 🔔 Subscribe for real talk on relationships, money, and building a life that's actually yours. #Marriage #Divorce #Relationships #RealTalk #Wedding #DatingAdvice #RelationshipAdvice #PersonalFinance #Mindset #MarriedLife #Marriage #Divorce #Relationships #Wedding #RealTalk #RelationshipAdvice #DatingAdvice #MarriageAdvice #PersonalFinance #Mindset #VictimMindset #MarriedLife #RelationshipTips #CoupleGoals #RealConversations #PodcastClips #MensPodcast #TruthTalk #LifeAdvice #StandardsForYourLife big wedding divorce, does wedding size predict divorce, marriage advice, relationship advice, real talk podcast, victim mindset, personal responsibility, marriage and money, financial advice for couples, dating advice for men, relationship podcast, wedding red flags, how kids change attraction, marriage tips, divorce statistics, men's advice podcast, standards podcast, KJ Mensah, real talk relationships, engagement red flags, wedding industrial complex, marriage mindset, couples finance, relationship psychology, mens relationship advice

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

3 ratings

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.