So You Think You Can Date is for those ready to do dating differently. In this podcast, I share about my (mis)adventures in dating and lessons I've learned along the way. Let's talk about communication, connection, and consent, regardless of what type of relationship you are in or looking for. With vulnerability, authenticity, and curiosity, I'm exploring unfamiliar terrain and would love for you to join me.
Host NICKI PAPPAS discusses the experience of bad dates, providing insights and resources for listeners navigating the challenges of modern dating.
24 May 2025
9. So You’ve Been Stood Up
Nicki Pappas discusses the experience of being stood up for a date and shares insights on navigating the disappointment.
17 May 2025
8. So You Want to Stop F*cking with F*ckboys
In the eighth episode of So You Think You Can Date, I talk about how to stop f*cking with f*ckboys.
Resources
“Coming Alive” Substack (https://comingalive.substack.com/)
Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire (http://nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age) by Nicki Pappas - Pending release June 2025. With your preorder purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
Connect with Nicki Pappas
Website: nickipappas.com (https://www.nickipappas.com/)
IG: @broadeningthenarrative (https://www.instagram.com/broadeningthenarrative/)
YouTube: youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast)
11 May 2025
7. So You Want to Flirt
In the seventh episode of So You Think You Can Date, I talk about flirting. More specifically, flirting responsibly for the fun of it.
Resources
"Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power" (https://www.centraleurasia.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/audre_lorde_cool-beans.pdf) by Audre Lorde
“Coming Alive” Substack (https://comingalive.substack.com/)
Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire (http://nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age) by Nicki Pappas - Pending release June 2025. With your preorder purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
Connect with Nicki Pappas
Website: nickipappas.com (https://www.nickipappas.com/)
IG: @broadeningthenarrative (https://www.instagram.com/broadeningthenarrative/)
YouTube: youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast)
3 May 2025
6. So They Think You’re Intimidating
In the sixth episode of So You Think You Can Date, I talk about when the people you are dating or are interested in dating think that you are intimidating.
Resources
“Coming Alive” Substack (https://comingalive.substack.com/)
Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire (http://nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age) by Nicki Pappas - Pending release June 2025. With your preorder purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
Connect with Nicki Pappas
Website: nickipappas.com (https://www.nickipappas.com/)
IG: @broadeningthenarrative (https://www.instagram.com/broadeningthenarrative/)
YouTube: youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast)
26 Apr 2025
5. So You Don’t Want to Date with Marla Taviano
In the fifth episode of So You Think You Can Date, I talk with my dear friend Marla Taviano about *not* dating.
Connect with Marla Taviano
IG: @marlataviano (https://www.instagram.com/marlataviano/) and @whitegirllearning (https://www.instagram.com/whitegirllearning/)
Substack: writing wholefarted (https://marlataviano.substack.com/?utm_source=global-search)
Twitter: @marlataviano
Website: itsmemarla.com (https://itsmemarla.com/)
Buy Marla's Books
unbelieve (https://bookshop.org/p/books/unbelieve-poems-on-the-journey-to-becoming-a-heretic-marla-taviano/20575654?ean=9781957687285&next=t)
jaded (https://bookshop.org/p/books/jaded-a-poetic-reckoning-with-white-evangelical-christian-indoctrination-marla-taviano/19618877?ean=9781957687162&next=t)
whole (https://bookshop.org/p/books/whole-poems-on-reclaiming-the-pieces-of-ourselves-and-creating-something-new-marla-taviano/21026319?ean=9781957687414&next=t)
please cut up my poems (https://a.co/d/dPon5PM)
poem art therapy (https://a.co/d/bNUeiXt)
what makes you fart (https://a.co/d/9ODn9lE)
Resources
Codependent No More (https://bookshop.org/p/books/codependent-no-more-how-to-stop-controlling-others-and-start-caring-for-yourself-melody-beattie/9158976?ean=9781954118218&next=t) by Melody Beattie
You Could Make This Place Beautiful (https://bookshop.org/p/books/you-could-make-this-place-beautiful-a-memoir-maggie-smith/18566391?ean=9781982185862&next=t) by Maggie Smith
Awake (https://bookshop.org/p/books/untitled-memoir-jen-hatmaker/85f39c7afa18011e?ean=9781668083680&next=t) by Jen Hatmaker
Conversations with Toni Morrison (https://bookshop.org/p/books/conversations-with-toni-morrison-toni-morrison/11704234?ean=9780878056927&next=t)
“Coming Alive” Substack (https://comingalive.substack.com/)
Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire (http://nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age) by Nicki Pappas - Pending release June 2025. With your preorder purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
Connect with Nicki Pappas
Website: nickipappas.com (https://www.nickipappas.com/)
IG: @broadeningthenarrative (https://www.instagram.com/broadeningthenarrative/)
YouTube: youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast)
19 Apr 2025
4. So You Want to Take a Risk
In the fourth episode of So You Think You Can Date, I talk about taking mindful, healthy, and safe risks from a grounded place.
Resources
“8 Sentences for Better Understanding” episode (https://www.makingpolyamorywork.com/episodes/8-sentences-for-better-understanding) of Making Polyamory Work
“Coming Alive” Substack (https://comingalive.substack.com/)
Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire (http://nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age) by Nicki Pappas - Pending release June 2025. With your preorder purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
Connect with Nicki Pappas
Website: nickipappas.com (https://www.nickipappas.com/)
IG: @broadeningthenarrative (https://www.instagram.com/broadeningthenarrative/)
YouTube: youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast)
12 Apr 2025
3. So You Want to Quit Playing Games
In the third episode of So You Think You Can Date, I talk about games in dating, why I don’t like them, and how we can quit playing them so that we can have healthier and more secure interactions.
Resources
“Coming Alive” Substack (https://comingalive.substack.com/)
Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire (http://nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age) by Nicki Pappas - Pending release June 2025. With your preorder purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
Connect with Nicki Pappas
Website: nickipappas.com (https://www.nickipappas.com/)
IG: @broadeningthenarrative (https://www.instagram.com/broadeningthenarrative/)
YouTube: youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast)
5 Apr 2025
2. So You Need to Disconnect from a Connection
In the second episode of So You Think You Can Date, I talk about when to disconnect from a connection and share a few stories from my own experiences with ending connections.
Resources
“Coming Alive” Substack (https://comingalive.substack.com/)
Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire by Nicki Pappas (https://www.nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age) - Pending release June 2025. With your preorder purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
Connect with Nicki Pappas
Website: nickipappas.com (https://www.nickipappas.com/)
IG: @broadeningthenarrative (https://www.instagram.com/broadeningthenarrative/)
YouTube: youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast)
29 Mar 2025
1. So You’re Going on a First Date
In this inaugural episode, we’re going to get ready for a first date. When I say get ready for a first date, I don’t mean that I’m going to give you fashion, makeup, or other beauty tips, though I could and am not discounting those things because your girl loves a cute fit with coordinated accessories and a bold lip. I’m also not going to tell you to share your location with friends, research the person you are meeting, and make sure you’re safe in a public place when meeting a stranger, though you should definitely do all those things.
What I am going to do is relay the guiding principles I hold to in dating, principles that help me prepare for a first date and that are helpful for all types of relationships, romantic or otherwise. Those three pillars for me are metta, believing the best, and nonattachment.
Resources
The Ethical Slut (https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-ethical-slut-third-edition-a-practical-guide-to-polyamory-open-relationships-and-other-freedoms-in-sex-and-love-revised-janet-w-hardy/11368130?ean=9780399579660&next=t) by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton
JoBeth on the Journey podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jobeth-on-the-journey/id1696135150)
“Coming Alive” Substack (https://comingalive.substack.com/)
Coming of Age and Coming Out: Stories of Repressed and Reclaimed Sexual Desire by Nicki Pappas (https://www.nickipappas.com/product-page/coming-of-age) - Pending release June 2025. With your preorder purchase, you will receive a free download of the “Come Alive” guide in your inbox!
Connect with Nicki Pappas
Website: nickipappas.com (https://www.nickipappas.com/)
IG: @broadeningthenarrative (https://www.instagram.com/broadeningthenarrative/)
YouTube: youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@SoYouThinkYouCanDatePodcast)
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
YouTube views
146
Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
2 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 53 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
67
Social presence
0
YouTube
64
Engagement
32
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