I got accepted into Harvard's graduate program for banging your mom. In this one we talk about doorman politics, paternal mortality, edgy weddings, AI entertainment, feline husbandry, and smells. We're not rich yet.
7 Aug 2026
011 - Anne Hathaway of Making My pp Hard
I shidded and farded, but not in that order. In this one we talk about that Norway soccer meme guy, homosexual popularity, a clinical erection, Jesus theories, nomads, and reality television. We're really gonna start clipping these up for Instagram in a bit, I swear. If you are reading this after seeing a reel we made, let us know by spitting on three of your fingers and reaching for the signal beacon we hid in your ass.
8 Jul 2026
010 - And Brunson Wept
Whooaaa, episode 10! Look how far we've come. I used to come farther, but I'm not as young as I used to be. In this one we talk about Knicks fan energy, a unique childhood game, hot tempers, male feelings, questionable characters, and horny literature. For episode 100 we'll record on mushrooms if we have at least 100 listeners, and that is a solemn promise.
10 Jun 2026
009 - Freedumb
I'm eating an entire pint of ice cream. I think I have diabetes. In this one we talk about business scandals, (in)complete relationships, orificial dryness, comedy nonsense, and alone time.
24 May 2026
008 - Messiah Is Queer
For future historians, this was recorded like 20 days ago. In this one we talk about subpar yet delightful barbecue, open micer mania, a homeless gentleman, cult gullibility, pandemic psychology, and autistic romantics.
18 Apr 2026
007 - Alien Ant Farts
Were you searching for that popular 2000s cover of Smooth Criminal by a certain one-hit wonder when you found this? I miss MTV too. And MTV2. In this episode we talk about ungracious hosts, furries, vile cinema, bird magic, foreskin follies, presidential prints, and sticky icky BBQ.
28 Mar 2026
006 - Yachts & Yachty
We recorded this like two weeks ago but I just now got around to editing it. Also Abby has been overseas, so the next one will come soon (and so will I). In this episode we talk about good vibrations, my Denver adventure, lottery fantasies, genitalia sizes, bachelorette parties, and Oscar schlock. And I think I can comfortably say that I have the audio down to a science, so if this podcast is ever successful you can tell your friends to skip to this one to avoid terrible sound.
27 Feb 2026
005 - Dried Fluids
In this one we talk about sexual wellness, a grumpy old lady, Victorian foreplay, lodging hygienics, a strange birthday party, and drunken propositions. Is the sound good yet?
16 Feb 2026
004 - Re-Tarred and Feathered
This one is miserable but fun. We talk about seasonal depression, Olympic obscurity, supervillainy, a story about Hell, and religious roleplaying. I'm starting to figure out how to make the audio better, but I kept drinking and vaping on mic so sue me.
1 Feb 2026
003 - Lesbian Slaves
The holy spirit of the original trilogy. We talk about eating clean, Valentine's Day, orgasm variations, little persons, and autofellatio. Really hitting our stride, please cancel us.
26 Jan 2026
002 - Help Me
The long-awaited sequel. We talk about leaked photos, bodily evacuations, Korean media, blackouts, the homelessness crisis, and long haul trucking. I was running on four hours of sleep and I showed Abby the mind of a true ramblin' man.
13 Jan 2026
001 - You Must Bounce On It, Crazy Style
It's the first episode. We talk about the subway, what it's like to be cured of blindness, a TV show, exes, racism in the UK, and Nosferatu. Also this was supposed to be on video but I messed it up, so ignore the obvious visual jokes that don't work. Also ignore the verbal jokes that don't work. We're warming up.
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
2 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
2 ratings
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