Rick Kubina, PhD, and Madeline Jürgensen, PhD, have spent their careers studying behavior. Rick has three children of his own and now two grandchildren. Madeline has two young children. In other words, they live the research at home and teach it for a living. Each week on the Starborn Parenting Podcast, they take decades of behavior research blended with their own personal experience and turn it into tools parents can use that same night. Expect honest stories from their own parenting and grandparenting, including some that ended in frustration and tears, plus straight answers about what drives your child's behavior and how to change it without bribes or threats. They skip the jargon, disagree with each other on air, and never claim to have parenting fully figured out. Instead, they approach family life the way true scientists do: always observing, always testing, and sharing what works so other parents can benefit. New episodes drop weekly.
Is spanking bad for kids, or did it really help you “turn out fine”? Behavior scientists Rick Kubina and Madeline Jürgensen take an honest, judgment-free look at what the research says about spanking. You’ll learn why spanking can stop a behavior in the moment but doesn’t teach anything, the side effects that can damage your relationship with your child, how punishment tends to get passed down through generations, and simple alternatives that help kids learn what to do instead. Whether you we...
13 Oct 2026
Is Timeout Bad? A Behavior Scientist Explains
Does timeout work or is it hurting your kid? PhD level behavior scientists Rick Kubina and Madeline Jürgensen break down one of the most common (and most misused) discipline tools parents reach for. You’ll learn what timeout really is, why it’s so easy to overuse, which behaviors it’s meant for, and five simple ways to make it work. Whether you use timeout every day or never, this episode will help you make your own call and ask better questions about how it’s used at school or daycare. Liste...
7 Oct 2026
Why Toddlers Hit, Push, and Bite, and What to Do About It
Your kid gets pushed at the park. Or your kid is the one doing the pushing. Either way, the first instinct is to decide someone is the aggressor and someone is the victim, and that's where it goes wrong. Rick and Madeline walk through what's actually happening when toddlers hit, push, and bite. The four payoffs driving almost every one of those behaviors, the five questions that tell you more than "who started it" ever will, and why a label you hand a two year old can stick to them for years.
29 Sept 2026
Is Social Media Addictive? What the Meta Lawsuit Tells Parents
Meta just agreed to an $18 billion settlement with 29 states over claims that Instagram and Facebook were built to hook kids. Yes, they are actively trying to addict your kids. So what exactly did they agree to change, and what does it tell us about how these apps work on our kids? Rick and Madeline break down the settlement, from the new two-hour daily limit and overnight lockout to hidden like counts and the end of the default algorithmic feed. Then they translate it all through a behavior ...
21 Sept 2026
The Kid That Nobody Picks: 10 Social Skills That Change That
Some kids get picked first and some get picked last, and it usually isn't personality. It's social skills, which means they can be taught. Last week Rick and Madeline covered the Core 10 for parents. This week they flip it and walk through the Core 10 social skills your child needs. The 10 break into four groupings: respect and gratitude, responding to feedback and cooperating, communication and connection, and coping with stress and big emotions. Rick and Madeline cover the research linking...
14 Sept 2026
10 Social Skills Every Parent Should Model for Their Kids
You have about ten years as your kid's main social teacher, and then the job goes to their friends, their phone, and whoever else shows up. Nobody arrives with social skills built in; kids learn them, which means someone teaches them, on purpose or by accident. In this episode, Rick and Madeline turn the camera on the parents and walk through the Core 10 social skills you should model at home, sorted into four groups: staying calm and pleasant, becoming someone your kids want to spend time wi...
8 Sept 2026
Your Kid Isn't "Oppositional Defiant." Here's What's Really Happening
Why doesn't my 3 year old listen? Why does my toddler hit and throw things? Rick and Madeline take three real posts from struggling parents and break each one down using behavior science. Inside: the four questions to ask before you react, the four functions of behavior, why "oppositional defiant" and "mean" are terrible words for a toddler, and how timeouts can accidentally reward the behavior you're trying to stop. Plus a homework assignment you can start tonight. Send us your ...
31 Aug 2026
Your Kid Isn't Broken. The Screen is Built to Win.
The Surgeon General just called screen time a public health crisis, yikes! Rick and Madeline break down why screens outcompete everything else in your kid's life. Note, it's the same variable-reinforcement schedule that runs a slot machine. They also talk about what works instead: changing the environment before the fight starts, replacing the behavior instead of just removing it, and making screen time earned. Don't think there is a problem with your kid. They're responding exactly the way t...
24 Aug 2026
Token Economies 101
Sticker charts get a bad rap, but the problem usually isn't the chart. Rick and Madeline break down token economies: bribe vs. reward, the four decisions that build a working system, and the six mistakes that quietly kill it. Plus chimpanzees, punch cards, and a one-week homework assignment. What a ride!
17 Aug 2026
The Nugget Trap
The follow-up to Sofia and Christina in Ep. 7. Rick and Madeline zoom out: how common picky eating is, what the research says about outgrowing it, why it happens, and three strategies parents can start tonight. Closes with red flags and when to get help.
10 Aug 2026
Extreme Picky Eating: One Teen's Story
Growing up, Sofia only ate a handful of foods. Then as a young teenager, with high school coming and anxiety building about eating at friends' houses, she did something surprising: she asked for help. Sofia and her mom Christina, a board-certified behavior analyst, join us to share how food exposures, a fear ladder, and a lot of patience changed everything. Now Sofia is headed to college, trying new foods without a second thought, and she's here to tell us what made the difference.
27 Jul 2026
The 4 Buckets That End Daily Parenting Battles
Not every behavior your kid does needs a lecture, and trying to fix everything can burn you out. In this episode, Rick and Madeline break down the four "behavior buckets" every parent should know: behaviors to grow, small stuff to let go, patterns to teach through, and crisis moments where safety comes first. Plus: the five-year test for picking your battles, Hungry Hungry Hippos "cheating," and the pencil story Rick would rather forget. New episodes every week as we help you build better hum...
20 Jul 2026
How to Get Your Kid to Listen Without Repeating Yourself
"Put your shoes on. Put your shoes on. I told you, put your shoes on!" Sound familiar? Rick and Madeline dig into why nagging feels like it works (it's the same intermittent reinforcement that keeps people pulling slot machine levers) and what it costs the trust bank you share with your child. They share what animal trainers can teach us about changing behavior without nagging, plus practical alternatives like specific requests, fair timing, heads-ups before transitions, rewarding small steps...
13 Jul 2026
Is Your Kid "Defiant?"
"He's testing me." "She's being dramatic." "He knows exactly what he's doing." Those are theories, and theories can be wrong. This week Rick and Madeline teach a skill that changes how you see your kid, describing exactly what they're doing, without labels or judgment. You'll learn how to pinpoint a behavior in a few countable words, how the video camera test tells you if you're describing what you see or what you assume, and why what happens before a behavior matters as much as what you do a...
7 Jul 2026
The Damage Punishment Leaves Behind
Nearly 400 million kids worldwide (3 out of 4) experience violent discipline at home. This week, Rick and Madeline take on the "blowtorch" of parenting: punishment. They dig into the global data, what pain-induced aggression does to a kid's brain, and why punishing tends to escalate over time without ever teaching kids what to do instead. Plus the difference between penalty and punishment, and three takeaways to help you put the blowtorch away for good.
7 Jul 2026
How to Stop a Toddler Tantrum Before It Starts
When your kid melts down in aisle 6, something specific set it off, usually in the moment before the behavior. Maybe you said no, or the cart rolled past the toys. And some days, a skipped nap or a rushed morning primes your kid to blow at the smallest thing. In this episode Rick and Madeline break down the pattern behind every meltdown: what happens before, during, and after, so you can spot the setup coming instead of just surviving the explosion.
2 Jul 2026
The Parenting Mistake Almost Everyone Makes
Most parents think rewards are pretty simple. Give the kid a treat, and they do the thing. There's a reason it works some days and totally backfires on others. Rick and Madeline get into what really motivates your kid, why the same reward can work for one child and do nothing for another, and how a reward is different from a bribe. By the end you'll have a lot more clarity on why your kid does what they do, and what to do about it.
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