Strides To Solutions uncovers how animal-assisted psychotherapy—from equine sessions to canine companionship—rewires the brain for lasting cognitive and emotional gains. Join host Esther Adams, a trauma-informed psychotherapist with a doctorate in psychology, as she shares powerful client stories, expert interviews, and hands-on exercises designed to strengthen attention, memory, executive function, and resilience. Tune in for actionable strategies that transform barnyard breakthroughs into real-world success.
esthernava.substack.com (https://esthernava.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)
Why Do We Feel Guilty When We Start Setting Boundaries?
You finally say no. It’s reasonable. It isn’t cruel. You haven’t broken a single one of your values. And yet you feel terrible, as if you’ve done something wrong to someone you love.
This episode of Strides To Solutions isn’t another guide to setting boundaries. There are already thousands of those. Instead, it investigates a deeper question: why can doing something good for ourselves feel as though we’re doing something bad to someone else?
Drawing on research in psychology, attachment and relationships, and translating each finding into plain language as we go, we explore:
* Why guilt is less a private moral alarm and more a relationship-protecting emotion
* How another person’s disappointment can feel like proof that you’ve hurt them, even when you haven’t
* The research showing we routinely overestimate others’ expectations and the fallout of saying no
* Why independence can feel like betrayal, especially when love once felt conditional
* Four guilt patterns, including separation guilt and the belief that “it’s my job to keep everyone happy”
* How people-pleasing, self-silencing and childhood roles like parentification shape adult guilt
* Why holding a boundary can actually reduce guilt, and how to treat guilt as information rather than a command
At the heart of the episode is one eye-opening question: if you grew up learning that being good means keeping everyone happy, could becoming healthier at first make you feel like a worse person?
If you’ve ever felt selfish for having needs, or anxious after protecting your time, energy or peace, this episode offers a more compassionate way to understand that guilt.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit esthernava.substack.com (https://esthernava.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)
26 Oct 2026
Who Are You When You’re Not Defending Yourself?
We usually treat defensiveness as a flaw: stubbornness, denial or an unwillingness to hear the truth. But what if becoming defensive isn’t really about avoiding facts? What if it’s about protecting something that suddenly feels at risk, like your worth, your belonging or your sense of who you are?
In this episode of Strides To Solutions, I explore one of psychology’s most fascinating paradoxes, translating the research into plain language as we go. The same defenses that once kept us emotionally safe can, over time, harden into habits so familiar they start to feel like personality.
We explore:
* Why criticism can trigger a stress response almost as if your safety were at stake
* How shame works as an alarm signaling that you might be less valued
* Who gets defensive most easily, and why it isn’t simply people with low self-esteem
* How early relationships, adversity and social threat shape the default ways we protect ourselves
* How protection becomes personality, and when it becomes a prison
* What actually helps defenses soften, and why awareness without self-compassion can backfire
At the center of the episode is one question: how much of what we call our personality is really a learned way of keeping ourselves emotionally safe?
The research offers a reassuring answer to the fear that dropping our defenses would leave us empty. You don’t become nobody. You become someone with more freedom to respond, to learn and to connect, and someone who can honor the protection that once helped you survive while growing beyond it.
If you’ve ever wondered why certain comments hit so hard, or why you react in ways you wish you didn’t, this episode is for you.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit esthernava.substack.com (https://esthernava.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)
26 Oct 2026
Is Self-Doubt Actually a Sign of Intelligence?
You’ve probably seen the comforting idea online: smart people doubt themselves, and foolish people are always certain. It’s an appealing thought, especially if you’ve spent years second-guessing yourself. But is it true?
In this episode of Strides To Solutions, I take a close look at the research, translating each finding into plain language as we go. The answer turns out to be more surprising, and more useful, than a simple yes or no. Intelligence, accurate self-awareness and intellectual humility are three different abilities. A highly intelligent person can still badly overestimate what they understand, while someone with more modest ability may be excellent at recognizing their limits.
We explore:
* Why intellectual humility seems unrelated to measured intelligence, yet still predicts how much people learn
* The limits of the Dunning–Kruger effect, including the finding that experts can be just as confident as beginners when they’re wrong
* Why being intelligent doesn’t protect you from confirmation bias, and how expertise can quietly turn into dogmatism
* The difference between doubting your ideas and doubting your worth, and why only one of them helps
* Why groups often reward confident people over accurate ones, and when humility builds trust anyway
Most importantly, this episode reframes the question. The goal isn’t to doubt yourself more or less. It’s to doubt more accurately: be confident where the evidence supports you, stay open where there are gaps, and never confuse “I might be wrong” with “I’m not enough.”
If you’ve ever wondered whether your self-questioning is a weakness or a quiet strength, this episode is for you.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit esthernava.substack.com (https://esthernava.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)
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Apple Podcasts (US)
4.3 / 5
4 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
1 ratings
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