Stuff that Works: Practical Conversations for Real Change

About Stuff that Works: Practical Conversations for Real Change

Real change doesn't happen through quick fixes—it happens through practical truth consistently applied. Hosted by Thomas C. Bates, Licensed Professional Counselor and founder of Higher Ground Living, Stuff That Works explores proven, practical tools that help people experience lasting emotional, relational, and spiritual growth. Drawing from years of professional counseling experience and a Christian worldview, each episode offers honest conversations, actionable strategies, and hope for those navigating life's challenges. Whether you're working through anxiety, strengthening your relationships, overcoming unhealthy patterns, growing as a leader, or simply looking for practical wisdom to live with greater purpose, you'll find encouraging insights you can put into practice immediately. Because lasting change isn't about discovering something magical—it's about consistently applying the things that truly work. New episodes featuring practical conversations for real change.

Publisher

Thomas C. Bates

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

27 Jul 2026

Latest episode

2 Nov 2026

Latest episodes

11 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   2 Nov 2026

   Episode 9 - Stuff That Helps With Special Needs

   Raising children with special needs is glorious work, but it's work nonetheless. In this deeply personal episode of Stuff That Works, Tommy Bates, Licensed Professional Counselor and father of two adult children with autism, shares his family's 27-year journey navigating the challenges of special needs parenting. From caregiver burnout, financial strain, and battles for educational services to medical crises, grief, and the strain on marriage and family relationships, Tommy offers an honest look at the struggles that many families face but few outsiders truly understand. Through heartbreaking experiences, hard-earned lessons, and beautiful moments of grace, Tommy explores the unexpected blessings that can emerge from life's greatest challenges. You'll also hear practical advice on early intervention, finding support, asking for help, protecting your marriage, managing caregiver stress, and recognizing the small victories that make the journey worthwhile. Above all, this episode is a reminder that even in life's hardest moments, there is hope, purpose, and evidence of God's redeeming grace. Practical tools. No fluff. Real life.

2. 

   1 Oct 2026

   Episode 8 - Stuff That Helps With Trauma

   Trauma can affect far more than our memories - it can shape anxiety, our need for control, trust, relationships, emotions, and even the way we respond to situations we don't fully understand. In this episode of Stuff That Works, we explore how trauma can influence the brain and body, including dissociation, emotional numbness, pessimism, and difficulty trusting others. We also discuss approaches such as EMDR and other trauma-focused therapies, along with practical strategies for healing: developing emotional awareness, challenging unhealthy thought patterns, learning to regulate your emotions and body, rebuilding trust, strengthening faith, and developing meaningful connections with others. Trauma may be part of your story, but it doesn't have to define the rest of it.

3. 

   14 Sept 2026

   Episode 7 - Stuff That Helps You Manage Stress

   Stress is a part of life, but it doesn't have to control you. In this episode, Tommy Bates discusses how stress affects your mind and body and shares practical ways to manage it - including letting go of what you can't control, becoming more aware of your stress responses, and using simple techniques to regain calm. Learn how to stop sweating the small stuff, protect your peace, and live a healthier life.

4. 

   7 Sept 2026

   Episode 6 - Stuff That Helps Us Set Boundaries

   Why is it so hard to say "no" - and when does helping someone actually begin to hurt them? In this episode of Stuff That Works, Tommy Bates explores codependency, boundaries, and the sometimes uncomfortable difference between genuinely helping others and enabling unhealthy dependence. Drawing from more than 20 years of counseling experience, Tommy identifies three common forms of codependence: the manipulator, who finds identity through controlling others; the nurturer or rescuer, who finds worth through taking care of others; and the achiever, who depends on accomplishment and pleasing people to feel valuable. The episode examines how even good qualities - being helpful, nurturing, hardworking, compassionate, or driven - can become unhealthy when we depend on them for our sense of identity and self-worth. Tommy then turns to one of the most important tools for breaking the cycle: healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries means understanding what we are responsible for - and what we aren't. We are responsible for treating people with kindness, compassion, and respect, but we cannot take responsibility for everyone else's feelings, choices, reactions, or consequences. Through practical examples, personal stories, and the powerful illustration of a butterfly that needs the struggle of escaping its cocoon in order to develop its wings, Tommy explains why continually rescuing someone can sometimes prevent the very growth we're trying to encourage. Whether you're a parent struggling to let an adult child experience consequences, a people-pleaser who has trouble saying no, an overachiever heading toward burnout, or simply someon who tends to carry responsibilities that aren't yours, this episode offers a practical challenge: Stay in your lane. Set healthy boundaries. Allow others room to grow - and give yourself permission to grow, too. Practical tools. No fluff. Real life.

5. 

   31 Aug 2026

   Episode 5 - Stuff That Helps Fix Insecurities

   Insecurities can quietly shape how we see ourselves - and how we treat the people we love. they can lead to jealousy, fear, control, people-pleasing, and an unhealthy dependence on others for our sense of worth. In this episode of Stuff That Works, Tommy Bates explores where insecurities come from, including childhood experiences, past relationships, failure, comparison, and the painful belief that we simply aren't enough. More importantly, he talks about what we can actually do about them. You'll learn why recognizing the source of insecurity matters, how changing negative self-talk can begin rebuilding self-worth, and why healthy relationships require two people who aren't depending on each other to make them whole. Tommy also explores the difference between striving to become a better version of yourself and expecting yourself to be perfect. For Christians, the conversation goes deeper into finding identity and worth in God rather than allowing other people's opinions, successes, failures, or past mistakes to define us. Overcoming insecurity doesn't happen overnight. It takes self-reflection, intentional changes in how we think, grace for our imperfections, and the willingness to keep doing the repair work.

6. 

   10 Aug 2026

   (Episode 4) Stuff That Helps Thought Processes

   Negative thoughts can feel automatic, powerful, and sometimes even convincing—but just because a thought enters your mind doesn’t mean you have to believe it. In this episode, we explore the power of negative thinking and how our thoughts can shape our emotions, behaviors, and everyday lives. More importantly, we’ll discover practical cognitive tools and biblical principles that can help us recognize unhealthy thought patterns, challenge them, and replace them with truth. You’ll learn a simple three-step plan you can practice throughout your day: 1. Write a reminder note. Create a simple, visible reminder that helps you pause and remember to pay attention to what you’re thinking. Use it as an intentional cue to check in with your thoughts throughout the day. 2. Put your thoughts on trial. Instead of automatically accepting every thought as truth, examine it. Ask yourself: Is this thought true? What evidence supports it? What evidence challenges it? Is this thought helpful? Learn to separate facts from assumptions, fear, and negative interpretations. 3. Filter your thoughts through biblical truth. God’s Word gives us a framework for evaluating what we allow to take root in our minds. We’ll explore how principles such as Philippians 4:8, Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Colossians 3:2, and Proverbs 23:7 can help us become more intentional about what we think about and how we respond. This episode isn’t about pretending negative thoughts don’t exist or simply “thinking positive.” It’s about learning to slow down, examine your thoughts, recognize what doesn’t align with truth, and intentionally choose a healthier and more God-centered perspective. Your thoughts deserve to be examined—not automatically obeyed. Listen in and discover how a simple daily practice can help you take your thoughts captive, renew your mind, and respond to life with greater clarity, peace, and purpose.

7. 

   3 Aug 2026

   Chilling at the Beach (Guided Breathing Exercise)

   Stress and Anxiety lowers our immune system, adversely affects our cardiovascular system, our digestive system, and can literally shorten our lives. If you want to improve your life, you have to buy into this concept of embracing calm. Take less than ten minutes to practice a guided breathing exercise by learning to belly breathe and taking an imaginary trip to the beach, using your senses to experience the calming affects of the ocean with this exercise.

8. 

   3 Aug 2026

   Chilling in the Mountains (Guided Breathing Exercise)

   Stress and Anxiety lowers our immune system, adversely affects our cardiovascular system, our digestive system, and can literally shorten our lives. If you want to improve your life, you have to buy into this concept of embracing calm. Take less than ten minutes to practice a guided breathing exercise by learning to belly breathe and taking an imaginary trip to the mountains, using your senses to experience the calming affects of a mountain stream with this exercise.

9. 

   3 Aug 2026

   Stuff That Helps Relieve Anxiety (Episode 3)

   Anxiety rarely comes from nowhere. It is often a heavy echo of past trauma, a painful reminder of moments where we felt helpless or unprotected. When those memories linger, they trap our minds in a cycle of looking backward, asking "why" and wishing we could rewrite history. Alternatively, anxiety forces our minds to race forward into the future, creating terrifying "what-if" scenarios about things we cannot control. This constant mental tug-of-war between yesterday’s hurts and tomorrow’s fears leaves us feeling completely unsafe in the present moment. To find lasting relief, we must address the fundamental question: Am I safe in this world? From a Christian perspective, the answer is not found in a guarantee that the world will be free of trouble, but in the unchanging character of God. True safety means knowing that your identity, your soul, and your future are securely held by a loving Creator. Scripture reminds us that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. Relief comes when we surrender the past and the future to Him, anchoring our hearts in the truth that He is our refuge, our fortress, and our ever-present help in times of trouble. You are safe because the One who rules tomorrow is already there, and the One who redeemed your past has already forgiven and healed it. Scriptures related to today's topic: Psalms 103:12, Matthew 6:34, Isaiah 26:3, john 14:27, Psalms 56:4

10. 

    30 Jul 2026

    Stuff That Helps Us Understand Each Other (Episode 2)

    What do men and women truly need? This podcast explores the differences between men and women and how those differences shape relationships, purpose, and everyday life. Each episode dives into practical insights and honest conversations about what men and women are looking for, how they communicate, and how to build stronger connections. Whether you’re curious about relationships, personal growth, or understanding the opposite gender better, this show offers thoughtful discussions that help answer the question: what do men and women really need

11. 

    27 Jul 2026

    Communication that Works (Episode 1)

    Why do so many conversations leave us feeling unheard, misunderstood, or frustrated? In this episode of Stuff That Works: Practical Tools for Lasting Change, Thomas C. Bates explores practical principles that can dramatically improve the way we communicate with the people who matter most. You'll learn why listening is far more than simply waiting for your turn to speak, discover habits that create genuine understanding, and identify common communication pitfalls that often fuel conflict. Thomas also discusses some of the foundational emotional needs that many men and women experience in relationships, helping listeners better understand why we often miss each other—and how we can begin connecting in healthier, more meaningful ways. Whether you're married, dating, parenting, leading a team, or simply hoping to strengthen your everyday relationships, this episode offers practical, immediately applicable tools to help you communicate with greater clarity, empathy, and purpose. Because lasting relationships are built through conversations that work.

Reach and audience

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Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

1 ratings

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