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The Alignment Show

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by Donn King

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<a href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/s/the-alignment-show?utm_medium=podcast">kingschronicles.substack.com</a>

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Recent Episodes

March 20, 2026

From Banjo to Memoir: Finding Meaning in the Messy Middle of Life

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect going into this conversation with Matthew Check, but I knew it would be interesting.What I didn’t expect was just how layered it would be.Matthew is a musician-turned-author whose memoir, <a target="_blank" href="https://amzn.to/3NALSPE">What Would Philip Roth Do?</a>, weaves together love, identity, creativity, and a fair amount of humor. But what stayed with me after our conversation wasn’t just the story itself. It was the process behind it—the discipline, the vulnerability, and the willingness to tell the truth even when it would be easier not to.We talked about what it means to write honestly, how creativity actually works (hint: it’s not always inspiration), and why memoir is less about recording events and more about making sense of them.There’s also something deeper running through all of this. Matthew’s story—whether he’s talking about bluegrass music, relationships, or imagined conversations with Philip Roth—keeps circling back to identity. Who am I? How did I get here? And what do I do with that truth once I see it clearly?If you’ve ever wrestled with your own story, or wondered whether it’s worth telling, I think you’ll find something here.Resources Mentioned* Matthew Check’s <a target="_blank" href="https://matthewcheckmusic.com">website</a>* <a target="_blank" href="https://amzn.to/3NALSPE">What Would Philip Roth Do?</a> * Matthew Check on Spotify and Apple Music (linked from his website)* <a target="_blank" href="https://amzn.to/4oQr1EL">Bright Eyes: Surviving Our Monsters and Learning to Live Without Them</a> by Bridey Thelen Heidel (mentioned in conversation)* <a target="_blank" href="https://amzn.to/47e56kK">Philip Roth’s books</a>The Big TakeawayTelling your story honestly is less about getting every detail right and more about having the courage to say, “This is how I see my life,” and standing behind it.Bulleted Summary* Memoir is crafted, not just remembered. It requires shaping events into meaning* Creativity isn’t only inspiration; it’s also discipline, repetition, and showing up* Humor can open the door to truth, especially in painful or vulnerable moments* A good editor goes beyond fixing your writing to helping you discover what you’re really saying* Identity often reveals itself through unexpected connections (like bluegrass and Jewish heritage)* Writing a memoir forces a deeper question: “Am I willing to be this honest in public?”Practical Tips* Don’t wait for inspiration. Build a habit of showing up consistently* Find an editor or collaborator who understands your voice, not just your grammar* Write freely first; decide later what stays and what goes* Use humor where it naturally arises. It can make difficult truths more accessible* Engage with other writers or creators. You’re more likely to find the right collaborators that way* If you’re telling your own story, focus on meaning, not just chronologyQuote to Ponder“I really do want to make a statement about how I see my life and what happened.”When Your Life Becomes the MaterialIn this episode of The Alignment Show, I sat down with Matthew Check to talk about his memoir, What Would Philip Roth Do? But the conversation quickly moved beyond the book itself.At its core, this is a conversation about what it means to take your own life seriously enough to shape it into a story.Matthew didn’t set out to write a book. He started with a writing class, working through exercises, trying to figure out what he had to say. Over time, something began to emerge: a pattern connecting his love of music, his relationships, and his search for identity.The book took shape slowly, over years, through revision, reflection, and a lot of back-and-forth with his editor.The Myth of the Solo WriterOne of the more refreshing parts of this conversation was Matthew’s honesty about the writing process.There’s a common assumption that writers sit alone, produce something brilliant, and send it off into the world. That wasn’t his experience at all.His editor played a central role—not just refining the writing, but helping him discover what the story actually was.Sometimes that meant pushing him to go deeper. Sometimes it meant pulling him back. Either way, it was a collaborative process.It’s a good reminder that writing, even when it’s deeply personal, is rarely a solo act.Creativity: Inspiration vs. DisciplineMatthew’s background as a musician added another layer to the conversation.Songwriting, for him, often comes in bursts of inspiration. A melody appears. Lyrics follow. The song almost writes itself.Writing a book, on the other hand, requires something different.It’s less about waiting for the moment and more about creating the conditions for progress—sitting down, doing the work, and continuing even when it feels like a chore.There’s a parallel here to almost any meaningful work. The initial spark matters. But what carries it forward is discipline.Humor as a Path to TruthThe humor of life is one of the defining features of Matthew’s memoir. Even in moments that are awkward, painful, or deeply personal, there’s often a thread of self-deprecation or wit running through the story.Humor, in this case, becomes a way of telling the truth without becoming overwhelmed by it. It creates space for both the writer and the reader to engage with difficult material.The Risk of Being HonestAt some point in the process, Matthew realized he was going to publish something very revealing. The real challenge of writing such a book lay not in the act of writing itself, but the decision to let other people see it. Memoir raises a question that most forms of writing avoid: How honest am I willing to be in public?For Matthew, answering that question required a kind of courage he hadn’t needed before.Identity in Unexpected PlacesThe connection between Matthew’s Jewish identity and his love of bluegrass music honestly surprised me. At first glance, those two might seem unrelated. But as he described it, they deeper connections in shared musical structures, emotional tones, even cultural overlaps.It reminded me that identity isn’t always as straightforward as we assume. Sometimes it shows up in places we wouldn’t expect.What This Conversation Leaves Me WithIf there’s one thing I keep coming back to after this conversation, it’s this:Your story doesn’t have to be extraordinary to matter. But it does have to be honest.And honesty—real honesty—takes work. It takes reflection. It takes revision. And sometimes, it takes someone else helping you see what you’re actually trying to say.* What part of your own story have you been hesitant to tell—and why?* Do you think you could write your life honestly, or would you hold something back?* Where in your life have you seen discipline matter more than inspiration?Respond to these and other ideas in the comments.If you get value from the show, consider supporting us in one of the following ways.You can make a one-time contribution or sign up for regular support through <a target="_blank" href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/DonnKing">Buy Me a Coffee</a>.You can also <a target="_blank" href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe">subscribe on Substack</a> for free OR <a target="_blank" href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/account">upgrade</a> to a paid subscription. Your support helps me continue helping you and others, and thank you in advance! All subscribers now receive the following:* The “Big Takeaway”* A bulleted summary of the episode* Practical tips from the episode* A quote to ponder* Prefer text? We turn each podcast into an article.Plus, Founding Members receive ebook copies of all my books as well as a sponsorship message on the podcast at least once a month.That’s our way for saying “thanks for the support!”King's Chronicles is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2">kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe</a>

March 6, 2026

They Tried to Bury Us: Finding Strength, Identity, and Healing Through Story

Some conversations stay with you long after the recording ends. This was one of them.In this episode of The Alignment Show, I talk with Mia Godfrey—life coach, speaker, and author of Buried, Not Broken: A Memoir of Survival, Sisterhood, and Starting Over. Mia grew up in Romania during the communist regime, immigrated to the United States, and later walked through the devastating loss of her sister.What began as a promise between two sisters eventually became a memoir about resilience, healing, and the courage to reclaim your voice.We talk about grief, identity, and the surprising ways writing can help us process life’s hardest moments. Mia shares how her sister’s encouragement led her to write their story, even though she initially resisted the idea. Along the way, we explore how painful experiences can sometimes become the soil where new growth begins.One of the ideas that struck me most was something Mia’s mother used to say:“They tried to bury us, but they didn’t know we were seeds.”That image captures the spirit of this conversation perfectly.If you’ve ever wondered whether your hardest chapters might someday become part of a meaningful story, I think you’ll find Mia’s journey worth hearing.Resources Mentioned* <a target="_blank" href="https://amzn.to/4ldvl0l">Buried, Not Broken</a>: A Memoir of Survival, Sisterhood, and Starting Over by Mia Godfrey* <a target="_blank" href="https://DonnKing.com/CreatingWhileCaring">Creating While Caring</a> by Donn King* <a target="_blank" href="https://www.toastmasters.org">Toastmasters International</a>The Big TakeawaySometimes the experiences that feel like they are burying us are actually planting the roots that allow us to grow stronger, clearer, and more aligned with who we really are.Bulleted Summary* Mia grew up in Romania during the communist regime, where scarcity and fear shaped daily life.* Her sister Mona encouraged her to write their story shortly before Mona’s death from cancer in 2023.* Writing the memoir became part of Mia’s healing process after deep grief and loss.* The book’s structure reflects how memory actually works—more like a patchwork quilt than a straight timeline.* Mia learned to embrace her identity, accent, and story rather than trying to hide them to fit in.* Her message today focuses on helping people—especially those over forty—rediscover purpose and step into their next chapter.Practical Tips* Write before you’re ready. Journaling can uncover insights and healing you didn’t expect.* Share your story gradually. Even showing one page to a trusted person can be a powerful step forward.* Reframe adversity. Instead of asking “Why did this happen?” consider “What can grow from this?”* Embrace your identity. The things you once tried to hide may become the very things that help others.* Look for the next chapter. Life transitions after forty can be a time of clarity rather than crisis.Quote to Ponder“They tried to bury us, but they didn’t know we were seeds.”If you prefer reading over listening, here is an article version of our conversation.When the Hardest Chapters Become the Soil for GrowthIn this episode of The Alignment Show, I talk with Mia Godfrey about resilience, identity, and what it means to rebuild life after profound loss.Mia is a life coach, speaker, and the author of Buried, Not Broken. Her story begins in Romania during the communist era, where poverty, fear, and scarcity shaped everyday life. Yet even in those conditions, she remembers her childhood home as a place filled with love, laughter, and resilience.Her mother had a remarkable way of reframing hardship. Even when food was scarce and families stood in line for hours for a small ration of bread, she reminded her children that they were still rich in what mattered most: family, faith, and community.That mindset would become one of the foundations of Mia’s life.A Promise Between SistersYears later, Mia’s sister Mona was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.During Mona’s illness, the two sisters began writing down stories from their childhood—memories they had once promised to keep secret. Mona believed their story might help others facing hardship.After Mona passed away in 2023, Mia initially put the journals away and intended never to open them again.Grief, however, has its own way of reshaping our direction.Encouraged by a therapist and her husband, Mia eventually returned to the pages she had written. What began as private journaling slowly became something larger: a memoir.Writing as a Path to HealingOne of the most powerful parts of Mia’s story is how writing changed her relationship with grief.She described how years of trauma had affected her sleep and emotional health. Yet after completing the book, something shifted. The process of telling the truth—of finally releasing long-held secrets—allowed her to let go of burdens she had carried since childhood.The book itself reflects that emotional journey.Rather than a traditional chronological memoir, Mia structured it as what she calls a “patchwork quilt of memories.” The narrative moves between different moments in her life, much the way memories actually surface.It’s messy. It’s nonlinear. And that’s exactly the point.Learning to Stop HidingAnother part of Mia’s story many listeners will recognize is her struggle to find her voice after immigrating to the United States.Because English was not her first language, she often felt self-conscious about her accent. At times people mocked it or dismissed her.For years she tried to make herself invisible—to blend in and avoid attention.Eventually she realized something important: the real battle wasn’t with other people’s opinions. It was with her own belief that she needed to change to belong.Today she embraces the very things she once tried to hide.Her accent, her story, and her experiences are now part of what allows her to connect with others.Buried… or Planted?One of the most memorable ideas from our conversation came from something Mia’s mother used to say:“They tried to bury us, but they didn’t know we were seeds.”It’s a powerful metaphor. When we’re buried, it can feel like the end of the story. But in the natural world, seeds must be buried before they grow.Mia now sees many of the painful events in her life through that lens. What once felt like endings were actually beginnings—moments when new roots were forming beneath the surface.Final ThoughtsAlignment often emerges from the places we least expect.Sometimes the experiences that shape us most are the ones we would never choose. Yet when we face them honestly, they can become the foundation for deeper clarity, compassion, and purpose.Mia’s story is a reminder that even the hardest chapters may still be part of a much larger story.And sometimes, what feels like being buried is actually the beginning of growth.What part of Mia’s story resonated most with you? Feel free to share your reflections below.If you get value from the show, consider supporting us in one of the following ways.You can make a one-time contribution or sign up for regular support through <a target="_blank" href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/DonnKing">Buy Me a Coffee</a>.You can also <a target="_blank" href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe">subscribe on Substack</a> for free OR <a target="_blank" href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/account">upgrade</a> to a paid subscription. Your support helps me continue helping you and others, and thank you in advance! All subscribers now receive the following:* The “Big Takeaway”* A bulleted summary of the episode* Practical tips from the episode* A quote to ponder* Prefer text? We turn each podcast into an article.Plus, Founding Members receive ebook copies of all my books as well as a sponsorship message on the podcast at least once a month.That’s our way for saying “thanks for the support!”King's Chronicles is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2">kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe</a>

February 21, 2026

Are You Responding to Facts… or to Your Story About Them?

Editor’s note: We’re grateful for all our listeners. We’ve been offering some added “perks” for paid subscribers, and we have realized that most if not all of those subscribers pay because they want to support our work, not because they get exclusive access to content. So we are experimenting with making all of our content here available to all subscribers. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and if you find value in what we do, please share us with others and upgrade your subscription as you see fit with our deepest gratitude. We are making this change as we complete our tech move completely into our space here on King’s Chronicles.This week I recorded a shorter solo episode — not filler, not a placeholder — but something I believe we genuinely need to talk about.In the cultural, social, and political climate we’re living in right now, assumptions are doing real damage. We react quickly. We interpret confidently. And we rarely pause long enough to ask whether what we think we heard is actually what was said.In this episode, I share a simple puzzle that got me — and yes, even fooled me — along with a personal story from a recent interview that illustrates just how powerful (and costly) our hidden assumptions can be.It’s not abstract. It’s not academic. It’s practical.If you’ve ever:* Reacted strongly and later realized you misheard* Assumed someone’s intention… and been wrong* Held back your voice because of what you thought someone meantThen this one’s for you.Listen in. I think it may shift the way you experience your next conversation.Resources Mentioned* Butterfly Copywriting (Val Roskens Tews): <a target="_blank" href="https://donnking.com/butterfly">https://donnking.com/butterfly</a>* My books (including Creating While Caring): <a target="_blank" href="https://donnking.com/books">https://donnking.com/books</a>* The puzzle image referenced in the episode (if you can’t see it where you’re listening to this, go to <a target="_blank" href="https://donnking.com/104">https://donnking.com/104</a>)BONUS CONTENT1. The Big TakeawayThe most dangerous assumptions are the ones that feel obvious — because once something feels obvious, we stop questioning it.Awareness creates choice. And choice is where alignment begins.2. Bulleted Summary* Our brains are prediction machines. We complete stories automatically.* Visual and emotional framing guide interpretation more than we realize.* Even expertise in communication does not prevent assumptions — it may simply make us faster at making them.* Most conflicts are not about what was said, but about what was inferred.* The same words, interpreted differently, can create entirely different lived experiences.* Slowing down to clarify intent is not weakness — it is precision.3. Practical Tips* When you feel a strong reaction, ask: What part of this is observable fact, and what part is my interpretation?* Replace “I know what you meant” with “Help me understand what you meant.”* Before withdrawing or escalating, pause and ask: Is this inferred or confirmed?* Notice emotional certainty. The stronger the certainty, the more valuable the pause.* In meetings or difficult conversations, clarify intent explicitly rather than assuming tone.4. Quote to Ponder“The most dangerous assumptions are the ones that feel obvious.”or“The goal isn’t perfection. It’s awareness. And once you have awareness, you have choice.”5. Article Version (Blog-Style Episode Write-Up)The Assumption You Didn’t Know You MadeIn this solo episode of The Alignment Show, I explore something deceptively simple but profoundly consequential: the assumptions we don’t realize we’re making.In a world moving at high speed — culturally, socially, politically — we’re reacting quickly and interpreting confidently. But how often do we stop to ask whether what we believe we heard is actually what was said?A Puzzle That Revealed More Than I ExpectedI came across a graphic showing two people trapped on a rope bridge between two tigers, with sharks circling below. The caption read:“Every problem has a solution — how can both escape safely?”Most of us instantly assume “both” refers to the two humans.So did I.So did Lizzie — my name for ChatGPT.And that’s what made it fascinating.The question never specified “both humans.” It simply said “both.” One commenter pointed out that after the tigers eat the humans, the two tigers both escape safely.Dark? Yes.Accurate? Also yes.The lesson wasn’t about survival tactics. It was about how quickly our minds fill in missing meaning.Why Even Experts Get CaughtI’ve spent a lifetime teaching communication — framing, ambiguity, inference. And I still made the assumption.Knowing how assumptions work doesn’t prevent them.Our brains are prediction machines. We don’t just receive information. We complete it. That’s how we function efficiently.The problem arises when we mistake completion for certainty.A Real-Life ExampleAfter recording an interview recently, my guest and I were chatting casually. She has a European accent and has lived in the U.S. since 2008.I told her I loved her accent.She told me that for years, when people said that, she assumed they were mocking her.Same words.Different assumption.Different experience.Because she believed the comment was sarcastic, she became hesitant to speak up in meetings. Her participation changed. Her confidence shifted.Nothing external changed.Only the interpretation.That internal story shaped her lived reality.Where Assumptions Hurt MostWe rarely announce to ourselves, “I am now assigning motive to this person.”We just feel hurt.Or dismissed.Or defensive.And the feeling feels justified because the story feels obvious.But what if it’s filled in?Most arguments aren’t about what was said. They’re about what was inferred.When we respond to our interpretation instead of observable fact, clarity disappears.Moving from Awareness to AgencySo what do we do?First, accept something uncomfortable: education doesn’t make us immune to misinterpretation. It just gives us tools to recover faster.Second, pause.Instead of:“I know what you meant.”Try:“Help me understand what you meant.”Instead of:“Obviously this is about…”Try:“Is this what you’re saying?”Clarification is not weakness. It is precision.The most dangerous assumptions are the ones that feel obvious.Awareness is the first step.But awareness is not the end goal.The end goal is agency.When you recognize that you are completing the story, you gain the ability to question it.Is this observable?Or inferred?Fact?Or interpretation?That single pause can be the difference between withdrawal and participation… conflict and clarity… silence and voice.And that is where alignment begins.Your Turn* Where have you recently discovered you were responding to a story you completed rather than a fact you observed?* What’s one conversation where a small pause could change the outcome?* Have you ever realized you misinterpreted someone’s intent? What shifted once you saw it?If you get value from the show, consider supporting us in one of the following ways.You can make a one-time contribution or sign up for regular support through <a target="_blank" href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/DonnKing">Buy Me a Coffee</a>.You can also <a target="_blank" href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe">subscribe on Substack</a> for free OR <a target="_blank" href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/account">upgrade</a> to a paid subscription. Your support helps me continue helping you and others, and thank you in advance! All subscribers now receive the following:* The “Big Takeaway”* A bulleted summary of the episode* Practical tips from the episode* A quote to ponder* Prefer text? We turn each podcast into an article.Plus, Founding Members receive ebook copies of all my books as well as a sponsorship message on the podcast at least once a month.That’s our way for saying “thanks for the support!”King's Chronicles is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2">kingschronicles.substack.com/subscribe</a>

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What is The Alignment Show?: <a href="https://kingschronicles.substack.com/s/the-alignment-show?utm_medium=podcast">kingschronicles.substack.com</a>
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Where can I listen to this podcast?: This podcast is available on 7 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
Does this podcast accept guests?: Yes, this podcast regularly features guests.

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