The Billie Cedillos Podcast

About The Billie Cedillos Podcast

When You Know is a raw, faith-anchored podcast about the moment clarity replaces confusion. Hosted by Billie, this podcast explores emotional and spiritual abuse, trauma bonds, nervous system conditioning, and the ways faith can be misunderstood—or misused—when a woman is trying to love well. Through personal testimony, trauma-informed insight, and God-centered truth, each episode helps women name what once felt impossible to explain. This is for the woman who sensed something was wrong long before she could articulate it. The woman who stayed too long because she believed love required endurance. And the woman who is finally standing in the quiet certainty that comes after awakening. Because when you know… you don’t go back.

Publisher

Billie Cedillos

Category

education · health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

24 Jan 2026

Latest episode

2 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

19 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   2 Sept 2026

   Dating, Relationships & Trauma

   Today I want to speak on something pretty raw. something for me that I've experienced in the past year, and hopes that I can encourage other women and men as well, to avoid the pitfalls that come with dating and relationships. Now, in saying that, obviously, I am no expert on this topic. 
I have only recently understood and have actually practised what I have learned in my healing journey. And let me just say, it is not easy. Sometimes when you heal, right, you're gonna have to start doing things to practice that healing.

2. 

   25 Aug 2026

   Facing a crisis? Jesus is Still in the Boat

   Have you ever been in a season where you genuinely believe that God was with you, but everything around you looked like you wasn't? You prayed, you trusted, you read the word, you surrendered even. And yet, the storm kept getting louder. Sometimes we make the mistake of believing that if God is with us, there shouldn't be a storm. But scripture tells us something very different.

3. 

   5 May 2026

   My Personal Healing Reflection

   Looking back over the last decade and especially this past year I share some highlights of my healing journey in the hopes it will help those of you who are either contemplating a healing journey or are perhaps at the beginning or middle of your healing journey.

4. 

   29 Apr 2026

   A Holy Truth - The Mothers Grief of Transition

   Understanding as a mother the grief not talked about that we go through as our children transition into independence and adulthood.

5. 

   23 Mar 2026

   Confusion Keeps you Bonded

   Confusion is often the fruit of manipulation. It shows up when someone is saying one thing… and doing another. When their words don’t match their actions. When you’re being told you’re the problem… while you’re the one trying to make sense of everything. This is what gaslighting does. It slowly disconnects you from your reality. You start second-guessing yourself. You start over-explaining yourself. You start apologizing for things you didn’t even do. And over time… you lose clarity. But here’s the truth: God does not speak in chaos. God’s voice brings peace—even when it corrects you. God’s Spirit brings clarity—even when it’s uncomfortable.

6. 

   19 Mar 2026

   Love Bombing : What is it? 9 Red Flags you Need to Know

   Love bombing feels AMAZING at first. That's the trap. Your brain gets flooded with dopamine and you think you've found 'the one.' But it's calculated manipulation designed to bypass your logical thinking. Here are the 8 red flags I wish I'd known. A Breakdown of 9 Red Flags to watch for when getting to know someone. The Connection to our childhood trauma and the importance to slow down when getting to know someone.

7. 

   10 Mar 2026

   A Holy Truth - God is not the Author of Confusion

   Part of a series of- A Holy Truth Holy Truth #1 — God Is Not the Author of Confusion Script “Here is today’s Holy Truth. If someone’s presence constantly leaves you confused, anxious, doubting yourself, and questioning reality… that is not the Spirit of God operating in that relationship. God does not manipulate. God does not gaslight. God does not twist truth to control people. The Holy Spirit brings clarity, peace, and truth. So if you’ve been blaming yourself for the chaos someone else created, hear this: confusion is often a sign that someone is manipulating reality. God’s voice is clear. God’s truth brings freedom. And when God begins opening your eyes to deception, that’s not destruction… that’s deliverance.” Scripture “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” — 1 Corinthians 14:33

8. 

   9 Mar 2026

   CPTSD & the 4 Trauma Responses often Mislabeled

   “Complex PTSD happens when someone has experienced repeated emotional or psychological trauma over a long period of time. This can come from childhood abuse, narcissistic relationships, chronic gaslighting, or environments where you constantly felt unsafe. What many people don’t realize is that trauma changes the nervous system. Your brain becomes wired to scan for danger. So when something feels even remotely similar to past abuse, your body reacts immediately. Not with calm. But with survival.

9. 

   4 Mar 2026

   God is Close to the Wounded Woman

   Today I want to talk to the woman who feels shattered. The one who feels like something inside her broke and hasn’t fully come back together yet. Psalm 34:18 says: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I need you to notice something. It doesn’t say: God tolerates the brokenhearted. It doesn’t say: God waits until you’re healed. It says He is close. And when you’ve been abused — emotionally, spiritually, psychologically — one of the deepest lies planted inside you is this: “God must be disappointed in me.” “God must be far from me.” “I must have done something wrong.” But scripture says the opposite. The breaking did not repel Him. It attracted Him.

10. 

    20 Feb 2026

    Victim Blaming -Helping Survivors

    Victim Blaming: How Can we better assist Survivors of Abuse. On Episode 5 on my podcast I share some insightful tips how to help survivors of abuse and some of the costs of victim blaming. What victim blaming creates: ~False guilt ~Toxic shame ~Self-doubt ~Delayed healing ~Nervous system dysregulation Beloved, You did NOT choose the abuse. You chose a person who did not reveal their true nature. NO ONE consents to deception. If you find this podcast helpful or know someone who could benefit from it PLEASE share it with them. Link in BIO listen on Apple or Spotify. If you are a survivor of domestic violence or any other type of abuse; my heart is with you and YOU ARE WORTHY of love!

11. 

    4 Feb 2026

    Episode 4 Enmeshment :Losng Yourself in Connection

    Today we’re talking about something many survivors feel, but don’t have language for enmeshment. Enmeshment is not love. It feels like love at first… but it slowly erases you. If you’ve ever felt like someone’s mood controlled your peace, If you’ve lost clarity, boundaries, or your sense of self in a connection, If walking away felt like losing oxygen This episode is for you. We’re going to talk about what enmeshment is, why it happens, how it happens, how to recognize it, how to avoid it and what God says about it.” WHAT IS ENMESHMENT (Word for Word Teaching) “Enmeshment happens when emotional boundaries between two people become blurred or nonexistent. It’s when: • Their feelings become your responsibility • Their needs outweigh your own • Their approval determines your worth • And separation feels threatening instead of neutral Enmeshment is not closeness. It’s fusion. You’re not choosing the relationship you’re surviving inside it.” WHY ENMESHMENT HAPPENS “Enmeshment doesn’t start in adulthood. It starts in childhood. It happens when a child learns: Love must be earned Safety depends on pleasing others Boundaries cause abandonment And connection equals survival Many of us grew up emotionally fused to a parent who: Needed us emotionally Couldn’t self-regulate Used guilt, fear, or obligation Or made us responsible for their feelings So later, our nervous system confuses attachment with identity.

12. 

    3 Feb 2026

    A Holy Truth : For the Woman Who has been Abused

    Holy Truth Collection -Podcast Holy Truth Here’s the holy truth abused women need to hear: God is not neutral about what was done to you. He saw the manipulation. He heard the lies spoken behind closed doors. He counted every tear you cried in silence. And the same God who is gentle with the wounded is fearsome toward the one who caused the harm. Scripture says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted, but it also says He opposes the proud and brings the hidden things into the light. 1 Peter 5:5 (ESV) “Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” Proverbs 3:34 (ESV) “Toward the scorners He is scornful, but to the humble He gives favor.”

13. 

    3 Feb 2026

    Episode 3 Your Nervous System Chose for You

    I want to talk about something that changed the way I understand love. Because for a long time, I thought I just had a bad picker. I thought I kept choosing the wrong people. But the truth is, it wasn’t my mind choosing my partners. It was my nervous system. Your nervous system is shaped in childhood. Before you have language. Before you have logic. It learns what feels safe, what feels familiar, and what feels like home. And here’s the hard part. Safe doesn’t always mean healthy. Safe means recognizable. If you grew up in a home where love was inconsistent, your nervous system learned to stay alert. If affection came and went, you learned to wait. If you had to earn attention, you learned to perform. If emotions were unpredictable, you learned to monitor the room. So later in life, when you meet someone who creates that same emotional atmosphere, your body lights up. Not because it’s good for you. But because it feels known. That anxiety you call chemistry? That intensity you call passion? Often, that’s your nervous system recognizing a pattern it already survived. Calm can feel boring when your childhood was chaos. Consistency can feel suspicious when love was conditional. And peace can feel unfamiliar when your nervous system was trained to stay in fight or flight. So we don’t fall in love with people who treat us well. We fall in love with people who activate what we already know how to navigate. Your body chooses what it thinks it can survive. This is why we stay in relationships that hurt us longer than we should. Because leaving doesn’t just feel like losing a person. It feels like losing a strategy that once kept us connected to love. As children, we couldn’t leave. We adapted. We learned to chase. We learned to wait. We learned to shrink or overgive or stay quiet. And as adults, those adaptations show up as attraction. We’re not chasing the person. We’re chasing the feeling of finally getting what we didn’t receive the first time. We believe, somewhere deep inside, that if this person chooses us, it will rewrite the original wound. That this time, we’ll be enough. This time, they’ll stay. This time, love won’t leave. But healing doesn’t come from repeating the wound. It comes from recognizing it. When you understand that your nervous system is driving attraction, you stop shaming yourself for past choices. You stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” And you start asking, “What did my body learn to expect?” The goal isn’t to never feel activated. The goal is to learn the difference between familiar and safe. Because real love doesn’t keep your nervous system in survival mode. It doesn’t make you prove your worth. It doesn’t feel like a chase. Real love feels steady. And at first, that can feel uncomfortable. But discomfort doesn’t mean danger. Sometimes it means you’re learning something new. And that’s where the pattern begins to change.

14. 

    28 Jan 2026

    Episode 2 Chasing Love: Is it Love or is it a Pattern from Childhood?

    Chaos felt familiar because it mirrored your childhood emotional environments. Criticism, neglect, mocking etc. We talk about how familiarity is not compatibility although it may feel like it. The cost of not stopping the cycle and choosing toxic/abusive partners. How we choose chaos because it’s all we knew growing up. It is not about intelligence or ignorance, it’s about poor programming as a child. It depend on the severity of childhood trauma. We can all have some type of childhood dysfunction as no family is perfect, but there is childhood trauma that leaves some at a higher risk for abuse later in life. Take Away Practical step: Write down what felt “normal” in your first relationship Reflective question: What did I confuse with love because it felt familiar?

15. 

    25 Jan 2026

    Episode 2 Where the Chaos Started in my Relationships

    There’s always a seed where chaos and confusion start. For me it started in childhood with codependency with my caregivers. That later carried on into my romantic relationships. Today I share a brief part of my life as a teenager where the seed began in choosing abusive unhealed men in my life. If this resonates with you I encourage you to subscribe and to share with with someone else who might relate and feel a piece of belonging on their healing journey OR to begin their own healing journey. Blessings!

16. 

    25 Jan 2026

    A Holy Truth - For the Woman who feels Unseen

    Hi, and welcome to the Billie Cedillos podcast. I want to thank you for joining me today, and I have a special word for the woman who feels unseen. Let me remind you, dear soul, that you are not invisible, even when your prayers feel like they echo back in silence, even when you pour yourself out, and no one notices, God does. 
God sees you, beloved. And the Bible says in Genesis 1613, you are the God who sees me. That wasn't spoken by a woman on a mountaintop. 
It was spoken by a woman in pain, overlooked, and pushed aside. And God met her right there. Beloved, let me remind you. 
If people missed you, it doesn't mean you were unworthy. If someone walked away from you, It doesn't mean that you were not loved. If you were overlooked, it doesn't mean you were forgotten. 
And if you were silenced, it doesn't mean that you are insignificant. God sees the tears you cried alone. He sees the strength it took for you to get back up today. 
He sees the parts of you that no one has clapped for. And here's a holy truth. Being unseen by people often means you're being hidden by God. 
For healing, for protection, and for preparation. Your story is not over, beloved. Your value is not up for debate. 
Your presence matters, right here, right now, just as you are.

17. 

    24 Jan 2026

    Episode 1 Early Conditioning - Codependency

    "I grew up in a home where love came with strings, where boundaries were blurred, and where chaos was... familiar. It shaped how I saw relationships, how I responded to conflict, and how I measured my worth. Ilearned early that keeping the peace sometimes meant ignoring my own truth. "it meant serving others and meeting their needs and abandoning myself. Codependency is not a badge to wear though, as a codependent, control was at the forefront of our relationships too, not to hurt someone like a narcissist does, but to "fix" or "rescue".

18. 

    24 Jan 2026

    Trailer Intro - Welcome

    And this podcast is about the moment clarity replaces confusion. Here, we talk about trauma, healing, relationships, and faith — without minimizing the hard parts or spiritualizing pain. This space is for women who loved deeply, ignored their instincts, and are learning to trust themselves again. Because when you know… you don’t go back. Welcome.”

19. 

    24 Jan 2026

    Welcome

    Hi and welcome! I’m Billie Cedillos. This podcast is about the moment clarity replaces confusion. Here, we talk about trauma, healing, relationships, and faith — without minimizing the hard parts or spiritualizing pain. This space is for women who loved deeply, ignored their instincts, and are learning to trust themselves again. Because when you know… you don’t go back. Welcome.”

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Apple Podcasts (US)

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