howzit?! the midnight marauder aka kilo!
greetings human beings:
this channel is meant to unite the collective in one space, as we are all one + to highlight the interconnected-ness of all of our experiences as individuals. ‘The Chaos Effect Mind’ will overview similar subjects, as well as special soul-family guests from time to time. i am here to create a loving community + bring some interconnected-ness to a world disconnected.
I appreciate you for taking the time to join me. mahalo nui if you subscribed + feel inspired to follow this journey with me.
*Entertainment purposes only*
healing your matriarch line, how it can affect life + spirituality
today i will be discussing why it is important to heal your matriarch line. why it is important, what it can look life if you choose not to heal your inner feminine (whether male or female). we all have masculine + feminine energies intertwined inside of us, and if one is out of balance we need some recalibrating. enjoy! i pray this finds who it needs to find
xX ~ kiLo
3 Jan 2025
why does worthiness matter to you? what is your foundation built on?
"A tree with rotten roots cannot bear good fruit. So too, our actions and intentions must be grounded in truth and integrity."
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"Healing begins at the root. Until the source of the pain is tended to, the branches will continue to wither."
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our worthiness is something we are inherently born with, what we DESERVE and does not need to be earned.
where did we gain our unworthiness from? what situations are we still holding onto and telling ourselves that make us feel and believe we are unworthy? remember, a belief is an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. without our attention, intention, and mindset telling us differently, we can believe anything we want!
18 Dec 2024
From Abandonment to Empowerment: Reclaiming Self, Love, and Authenticity
of course we all want to reclaim self, love and authenticity where do we start? the answer will always be: the root.
today i will discuss 7 topics on how acknowledging, assessing, rewiring, and holding ourselves gently accountable can allow us to detach from the narrative we are not worthy or we are incapable of receiving love and other wonderful things in our lives.
As we are coming up on some peoples end of the year, it is a time to reflect on where we have been and how far we have come. i have provided some reflective questions you may find helpful below:
What small action can you take today to show yourself that you are capable and trustworthy?
When have you doubted yourself in the past, and how might you approach that situation differently now?
Is there an area of your life where you’ve avoided asking for help? How could accepting support improve your experience?
What does interdependence mean to you, and how can you begin to invite it into your life?
sending much loving, healing, blessing light to you. xX ~
21 Nov 2024
embracing self-compassion as a spiritual practice. i love when you count me out!
the next few episodes of the chaos effect mind will focus on 5 key points of embracing self-compassion as a spiritual practice. tonight i will discuss what it means to do just that. as well as shed light on some personal experience (as always), and a few spiritual practices that you can do to implement this self-compassion! as always, enjoy! mahalo ~
xx kilo
22 Oct 2024
whoooo are yoooou? the age old question of 'who are we?' how alice in wonderland relates to our realities
happy spooky season! and end of libra szn. today i will be discussing some of the themes brought up in alice in wonderland and how they relate to our lives and the existential questions of 'who are we?' and the philosophical questions we may face about where we actually 'belong' in this world. much aloha and gratitude, enjoy!
18 Sept 2024
trauma driven ego vs healthy ego: which one are you living from?
today i will be discussing some of the ways we can live thru our trauma driven ego and some things we can adjust to begin freeing ourselves and living from a healthy ego. a healthy ego is a balance of the trauma we have learned and applying those lessons to our ego, while creating an outer world we can be satisfied with.
14 Aug 2024
cycles of abuse + self abandonment + how these cycles affect relationships and our. boundaries
i know it has been long, how i have missed anyone listening 🥹
today i will discuss the 4 cycles of abuse and the impacts they could potentially have on relationships of all forms, our boundaries, and our overall state of being as we continue to blossom to the divine beings we are meant to be.
much aloha.
xX ~ kilo
12 Jun 2024
mindset matters, pt i
today we will talk about why mindset matters when it comes to money, time, and your overall well-being! enjoy!
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6 May 2024
silencing the mind, getting to know what makes your inner+outer critic tick
what is thought stopping? how can we apply what we learn from thought stopping to feeling overwhelming emotions? where does our inner + outer critic stem from and what tools can we cultivate to shift the paradigm to align with the mindset + life we want.
enjoy ~
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3 Apr 2024
13 steps for managing emotional flashbacks, dealing with your inner + outer critics
today i will delve into chapter 8 of CPTSD: from surviving to thriving. which goes over 13 steps for managing emotional flashbacks, where those triggers could possible stem from, and an overall reflection of where you gained your inner critic perspective. were you surrounded by outer critics growing up? were you constantly told you're small, dumb, your dreams are impossible? listen to find out more! enjoy :)
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9 Mar 2024
abuse v disciplining children? what is acceptable anymore..? what is an appropriate way to correct behavior in kids
this episode i will shed light on some personal stories of 'discipline' and doing things 'out of love' that do not seem or feel so loving. inspired by a conversation i had with an uncle of mine in regards to how people without children have a lot to say about raising kids and how he wanted his kids to fear him.
how do we grow and conduct ourselves in relationships outside of the family line if we are not sure of what healthy relationships look like? are we doomed to not have healthy relationships? we are gifted with the divine power of choice + free-will... to do things that we have never done before and be the people we needed when we were younger.
be your own superhero <3
~kilo
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16 Feb 2024
dating? in 2024? dating is trash!!!
today we'll get a lul personal (duh) about dating and interacting with the opposite sex. i will go into experiences about people trying to 'connect' under false pretenses, about why our energy is so precious, and that sacred, sacred act of giving access to the cookie jar 🤭🤭🤭
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3 Feb 2024
all i do is win, win, win, no matter what
this episode we are going to look at why it is essential for natural-born leaders + winners to stay around and surround themselves with people who UPLIFT them, who bring positivity into their lives. And if they bring criticism it must be constructive. Not based on opinion or life circumstances that cultivated fear within yourself to be negative in someone else's life. i hope you enjoy, mahalo.
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7 Jan 2024
how do you regulate your adult emotions as a child who always played the role of ‘adult’?
in this episode i will reference a post from @tylerthrasherart and discuss the topics behind it. such as: how to regulate emotions as an adult when the role of child was stricken from your life early on? what can we do as the adults now to make sure those negative habits are not passed on, to create a better relationship with our friends\families\children? enjoy!
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14 Dec 2023
Intro to CPTSD
this episode will go into CPTSD and how it relates to our upbringing, our environments, and the reality we have for ourself + our worth, currently.
* trigger warning for some as i speak about trauma topics closely related to myself and could resonate for others; i am not a health professional or a health practitioner, please seek the help you require if feeling suicidal*
Book reference:
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving ~ Pete Walker
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4 Dec 2023
between 2 worlds :: navigating challenges of being mixed heritage.
in this episode, i will explore, from personal experience, the complexities + challenges that come with being of mixed heritage. i will also explore topics of having parents who did not support +create an environment to flourish as a mixed heritage individual. enjoy!
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