The Check In!

About The Check In!

The Check In! with Dillan is about the stories, systems, and relationships that shape who we become. Hosted by therapist Dillan Koch, each episode explores the emotional patterns, family dynamics, community experiences, and life events that influence how we show up in the world. Through honest conversations with real people, leaders, advocates, and experts, this podcast asks deeper questions about mental health, grief, parenting, identity, resilience, and growth. Because the way we show up isn’t random & when we understand what shaped us, we can begin to choose what comes next

Publisher

Dillan Koch, licensed family systems therapist

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

17 Nov 2025

Latest episode

30 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

24 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   30 Oct 2026

   When “Marriage Is Hard” Is Actually Emotional Abuse: Divorce, Faith & Healing

   You keep trying to be a better partner. You apologize to keep the peace. You’re told marriage is hard, but you’re starting to wonder: is this emotional abuse? Molly believed that if she could just try harder, her marriage would get better. Instead, she found herself increasingly isolated, questioning her own judgment, and carrying the weight of religious expectations that made asking for help feel wrong. In this episode of The Check In! with Dillan, therapist Dillan Koch sits down with Molly for an honest conversation about emotional abuse, gaslighting, religious trauma, and life after a high-conflict divorce. Molly shares her experience of a seven-year marriage, a lengthy custody battle, and rebuilding trust in herself while raising her daughter. We talk about: • Walking on eggshells, self-blame, and the relationship patterns Molly struggled to recognize. • How messages about submission, forgiveness, and being a “good wife” shaped her response to abuse. • Navigating Christian divorce and rediscovering faith on her own terms. • Parenting through divorce without putting children in the middle. • Dating after divorce and learning what emotional safety can feel like. • Making room for grief, support, and a future you didn’t plan. For anyone questioning a relationship, healing after divorce, or trying to support someone they love, this conversation puts words to experiences that can be difficult to explain. CONNECT Molly: @the_divorced_mama (https://www.instagram.com/the_divorced_mama/) Dillan: @checkinwithdillan (https://www.instagram.com/checkinwithdillan/) SUPPORT & RESOURCES — U.S. You don’t have to be certain it’s abuse—or ready to leave—to talk with an advocate about your concerns and options. • National Domestic Violence Hotline: Free, confidential support, available 24/7. Call 800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or chat with a live advocate at thehotline.org (https://www.thehotline.org/). • Personalized safety planning: Explore options for staying safer while in a relationship, preparing to leave, or after separation at The Hotline’s safety planning resource (https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). • Legal information and help: WomensLaw.org (https://www.womenslaw.org/) offers plain-language information about protection orders, custody, divorce, and finding legal help. It serves survivors of all genders. If your device or internet activity may be monitored, use a safer device to access support when possible. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911 if you can safely do so. Content note: Discussion of domestic and emotional abuse, religious trauma, and custody conflict. This episode shares personal experiences and general education; it isn’t individualized therapy or legal advice.

2. 

   13 Sept 2026

   Divorce Is Hard. Conflict Is What Hurts Kids with Dr. Karalynn Royster

   When a marriage ends, parents are often terrified about what the divorce will do to their children. But divorce itself isn’t the strongest predictor of how kids will cope—the conflict surrounding them is. Systems-oriented family specialist, Dillan, sits down with licensed child psychologist and high-conflict divorce expert Dr. Karalynn Royster to discuss how parents can protect their children when trust has been broken, emotions are high, or healthy co-parenting feels impossible. Together, they explore: • What makes a divorce truly “high conflict” • Why criticizing your co-parent can fracture your child’s sense of self • What to tell children about infidelity or a divorce one parent didn’t want • The fine line between being honest and making your child your emotional caretaker • How parentification can show up, especially with teens • Why children should have a voice without carrying the burden of choosing between parents • Custody schedules, nesting, transitions, and preserving stability • What you can still control when your co-parent refuses to cooperate Dr. Royster also offers a grounding reminder for parents navigating the impossible: You may not be able to change your co-parent, but the safe, steady relationship you create with your child can make an enormous difference. Whether you’re newly separated, caught in a high-conflict custody situation, co-parenting with a difficult ex, or supporting a child through divorce, this episode will help you focus on what protects kids most. Follow @checkinwithdillan (https://www.instagram.com/checkinwithdillan/) on Instagram CONNECT WITH DR. KARALYNN ROYSTER: Website: https://www.learnwithlittlehouse.com/ (https://www.learnwithlittlehouse.com/) Instagram: @learnwithlittlehouse (https://www.instagram.com/learnwithlittlehouse/) Email: info@learnwithlittlehouse.com (mailto:info@learnwithlittlehouse.com) Please note: This conversation is educational and does not constitute legal advice or establish a therapeutic relationship.

3. 

   29 Aug 2026

   Why Life Feels Harder for Michigan Families & What Could Help | Rep. Joey Andrews

   What happens when a systems oriented therapist sits down with a state representative not to trade political talking points, but to ask why life has become so difficult for so many families? In this candid conversation, licensed clinical social worker Dillan and Michigan State Representative Joey Andrews connect the stress people feel at home to the larger systems shaping their lives. Why has housing become so unaffordable in Southwest Michigan? Are short-term rentals really the problem or does outdated zoning deserve more attention? What does the divide between St. Joseph and Benton Harbor reveal about education, race, resources, and opportunity? How can Michigan embrace AI and economic growth without passing the hidden costs on to families? And what happens when schools are expected to educate, protect, feed, and provide mental health support all while smartphones and social media are reshaping childhood? Joey also opens up about his unconventional path from small business and law to the Michigan Legislature, his experience living with Crohn’s disease, and the generations of support that helped his own family build stability. Together, he and Dillan explore why personal responsibility and systemic responsibility do not have to be opposing ideas and why investing in people before they reach a crisis can strengthen an entire community. This isn’t a campaign speech or a partisan debate. It’s a thoughtful, accessible conversation about housing, schools, healthcare, technology, mental health, and what families need to thrive. You don’t have to follow politics—or agree with every policy—to get something meaningful from this episode. If you care about raising children, affording a home, accessing healthcare, or building a community people can remain part of, this conversation is for you. @checkinwihdillan @joeyformichigan https://housedems.com/joey-andrews/

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

6 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

16 ratings

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.