Eric Payne, a divorced dad and retired marriage & fatherhood blogger, tells the comedic tale of his "Chapter 2" — having to start life over brand new after a divorce he didn't want.
What Does Starting Over Mean?
Although "free” for the first time in 15 years, Eric has years of baggage and a stubborn desire to hold on to the past which initially keeps him stuck as he tries to move in a world way different than the one where he first met his ex-wife in the year 2000. From one-night stands to ghosting to online dating, to mental anguish and heartbreak to the self-care that is required of a 40+, divorced Black man and father in America, Eric tackles it all with fearless transparency, vulnerability, and a refreshing sense of humor — especially when it comes to making fun of himself.
It's transparent, it’s raw, it’s funny, it’s messy, and it’s hopeful, but most of all it’s proof that second chances do in fact exist for us when life doesn’t go as planned. Tune in for the exploits, especially the failures — there are plenty along the way on his journey of trying to find love again and discovering himself in the process.
People-pleasing begins very early. It's based on our innate desire for approval as children. It can also be observed in others, such as our parents, and learned through misguided understandings of religious dogma.
Now, imagine treating as a superpower to deal with internalized trauma.it
If left unchecked, it can be embraced as an identity that negatively impacts how we show up and who we show up as in our relationships, platonic, romantic, professional, and otherwise.
Based on the article, Built to Endure, Not to Last (https://ericleonpayne.substack.com/p/memoir-chapter-2-part-1-the-making-of-a-super-simp?r=9on56)
Subscribe to my Substack at: https://ericleonpayne.substack.com (https://ericleonpayne.substack.com)
Buy me a cup of coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/ericleonpayne (https://buymeacoffee.com/ericleonpayne)
14 Mar 2026TRANSCRIPT
Living In the Past and Stuck in the Present: The Prequel Part 2
If I could time travel, I wouldn't play the stock market. I'd show up at my high school locker to confront my former self. To comfort him. To warn him.
I honestly would not.
We often torture ourselves in the present for something we didn’t know or have the capacity to do differently in the past.
I know I have, and I wasted a lot of time doing it.
Even if you willingly went into a situation “wrong and strong” you were operating based on the knowledge and tools (or lack thereof) that you had available to you then.
Time, experience, and failures often wisen us up. Then we take what we learn and chastise our former, non-existent selves. Overlooking the obvious: those experiences are what created the learning and wisdom that benefits you now.
Yes, it may have sucked. But you don’t suck, and those things don't exist anymore, except in your mind. Give your previous self a break and thank them for teaching you the lessons you now know.
Listen to the episode to learn grace and forgiveness, for yourself.
Based on the article, Too Much Pomade, Not Enough Waves (https://ericleonpayne.substack.com/p/memoir-chapter-1-part-2-too-much-pomade-not-enough-waves?r=9on56)
Subscribe to my Substack at: https://ericleonpayne.substack.com (https://ericleonpayne.substack.com)
Buy me a cup of coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/ericleonpayne (https://buymeacoffee.com/ericleonpayne)
7 Mar 2026
God Lives in the Ceiling, The Prequel Part 1
After a four-year break, we're back! Welcome to Season 5, "The Seasoning."
Before I got grown and started losing grown-up things, I lost something more precious as a child — my sense of self.
This is a prequel narration of sorts. My beginnings that led to Seasons 1-4 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide™️: an only child's very early fight for purpose, meaning, and self-esteem in the face of being seen but not heard, teased by classmates, and taught old-time religion.
Based on the article, God Lives in the Ceiling (https://ericleonpayne.substack.com/p/memoir-chapter-1-god-lives-in-the-ceiling?r=9on56)
For the more stories like these, please visit and subscribe to my Substack, The Bounceback (https://ericleonpayne.substack.com).
Inside a recent episode
People-Pleasing 101: The Prequel Part 3
Published 8 Apr 2026 · Transcript excerpt
[…] It was easier to be okay with things up front, let them unfold, and then complain about how I would have preferred them to be. Fast forward seven years during group counseling, when my marriage was on life support, I learned that my aversion to conflict reached back into my childhood. Growing up, my father, in addition to being well-read, was a self-proclaimed know-it-all who had little patience for my mother. Mansplaining would be a modern-day word for it. He often spoke condescendingly to her, so much so that it gave me chest pains listening to him. Mom was a teacher, but wasn't a mind like my dad. […]
Pod Engine is an independent podcast discovery and analytics service and is not affiliated with or endorsed by this podcast. Artwork and show content belong to their owners. Full legal notice.
Explore this show Podcast research with Pod Engine
