Inside of you there are two wolves. One is a gangly armed egomaniac who snaps limbs like celery stalks. The other has buns of steel and a propensity for overusing the same spinning back kick (and is also an egomaniac).
Season One sees Graeme and Carter, two otherwise unremarkable white men who also happen to be the only people on Earth brave enough to undertake this endeavour, judge the most middle-of-the-road action stars of the late 1980s and 1990s: Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal.
Building a canonical ranking of combined filmographies that will stand for all time, our hosts will pit each actor's films against each other in head to head matchups until they've rated every single film–or until they can't stand watching them anymore!
Episodes release every other Thursday.
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EXHIBITION MATCH: Black Eagle (1988) / Executive Decision (1996)
In this confusing episode, Graeme and Carter determine that Executive Decision (1996) is NOT a Steven Seagal movie. So it would be unfair to pit it against Nowhere to Run (1993). So instead, we're going back to a movie that was almost in Episode 2, Black Eagle (1988), a movie that DOES NOT star Jean-Claude van Damme. Are we clear? Good.
Anyway, prepare to learn either more about Shô Kosugi than you ever would have otherwise—OR—hear thin, poorly researched, largely inaccurate ramblings about your favourite actor ever, Shô Kosugi. Also, remember Joe Morton? Love that guy.
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12 Oct 2026
Universal Soldier (1992) / Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)
In this long awaited episode, Graeme and Carter get way into model railroads and the geopolitical ramifications of unsanctioned incursions into Cambodia. Can a man be his own father? What about a cyborg? How do you survive an earthquake in the sky? These questions and more, answered with finality and assurance on the next exciting episode of... THE TWO WOLVES PODCAST
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12 Sept 2026
On Deadly Ground (1994) / Double Impact (1991)
It's a super-sized episode for two of the least remembered movies in these guys' golden eras. Join Graeme and Carter as they learn they are actually twins, separated at birth when an evil oil tycoon blew up their parents in a multibillion dollar insurance scheme. One tasseled rawhide coat! Two Van Dammes! Three Academy Award winners! A six-time Ms. Olympia! You'll never believe we crammed it all into three and a half hours!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.
29 Aug 2026
Death Warrant (1990) / Under Siege (1992)
In this episode, Graeme and Carter largely focus on alternative butchery, as well as the life, times, and many misadventures of Patrick Kilpatrick, Libertine Patriot. They also reveal some juicy tidbits about their secret past together.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.
15 Aug 2026
Out for Justice (1991) / Lionheart (1990)
In this wild deviation from the norm, Steven Seagal plays a cop who uses his special forces background to play by his own rules. Jean Claude Van Damme plays a plucky underdog, fighting his way through an underground tournament to alleviate some past familial injustice. Is this an episode you have already listened to? No! It is a different one!
Graeme and Carter go into this one without any particularly strong feelings, and come out the other side better friends, better men, and better lovers. Join us for this very special conversation.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.
1 Aug 2026
Kickboxer (1989) / Marked for Death(1990)
Graeme and Carter travel to Thailand to record the KICKBOXER (1989) portion of this episode on location, but forget to make any reference to it in the actual episode. They did not, however, travel to Jamaica for the MARKED FOR DEATH (1990) portion, instead opting to only send their body doubles who are not involved in the recording of this show.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.
18 Jul 2026
Hard to Kill (1990) / Cyborg (1989)
Graeme and Carter discuss Branscombe Richmond and everything he means to the world. Also, Graeme has now watched Hard to Kill (1990) and emerged largely unharmed. The same cannot exactly be said for Carter's maiden viewing of "Cyborg" (1989). Does he like this world? Only one way to find out.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.
5 Jul 2026
Bloodsport (1988) / Above the Law (1988)
Graeme and Carter wrestle with "Bloodsport" (1988) and "Above the Law" (1988) and how to make a podcast and their places in the world.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.
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