Un-Muddying the waters

About Un-Muddying the waters

A podcast where i and guests share stories from life and leadership to help you lead with courage, clarity and intention

Publisher

joshuaokunlola

Category

education

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

2 Apr 2025

Latest episode

9 Jun 2025

Latest episodes

8 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   9 Jun 2025

   Boundaries, Boldness & Becoming: Leading from Limits

   Host Joshua Okunlola interviews Cece Bosah, an early years leader and singer-songwriter, about setting boundaries in leadership, faith, and life, highlighting the courage required to honor one's limits.

2. 

   20 May 2025

   Humility, Hiding & Honesty: Reclaiming What It Means to Lead with Truth

   🎙️ Unmuddying the Waters – Episode 7 Title: Humility, Hiding & Honesty: Reclaiming What It Means to Lead with TruthGuest: Tonye Mack (Director, Producer, Editor)Host: Joshua OkunlolaDuration: ~24 mins 🔍 Episode Summary In this deeply personal and thought-provoking episode, Joshua is joined by longtime friend and creative powerhouse Tonye Mak to explore the evolving meaning of humility in leadership and life. Together, they unpack how humility has been misinterpreted as hiding, downplaying, or dimming one's light and reframe it as an act of truth-telling. From the dual identity of “Tony vs. Sonya” to cultural and faith-based expectations around confidence, they explore how systems of upbringing, race, faith, and professional norms shape how we show up in rooms and what we silence in ourselves to be accepted. 🧭 Key Themes The myth of humility as invisibility Confidence vs. arrogance: walking the line Faith, culture, and the pressure to shrink Reclaiming voice in professional spaces Why honesty not hiding is true humility 💬 Quotes to Remember “Humility is not about being unseen—it’s about telling the truth.”— Joshua Okunlola “In dimming your light, you’re not being humble. You’re actually lying.”— Tonye Mak “Jesus was humble—but he was also confident. He knew who he was.”— Tonye Mak “There’s a cultural system in me that tells me not to shine… and then pats me on the back for staying small.”— Joshua Okunlola ✨ Reflection Prompt Ask yourself: Where have I been hiding under the name of humility? What truths about my gifts and limitations am I afraid to name? What would it look like to lead with honest presence instead of performative smallness? 🎬 Guest Links IG: @tonyemak Latest work: Dating Black Season 3 on BET International Upcoming: Debut short film in production (stay tuned!) 🎧 Listen + Share If this episode resonated with you, please: Share it with a friend who needs this conversation Tag @joshua_okunlola_ and @tonyemak on Instagram with your takeaways Rate and review the show—it helps amplify these necessary dialogues 🔁 Closing Words Lead with clarity.Lead with courage.Start telling the truth.

3. 

   9 May 2025

   EP6 - The courage to take a different vantage point

   In this episode, Joshua and Angela explore the metaphor of the spiral staircase to rethink how we experience learning and leadership growth. Angela shares insights from her 15-year journey in primary education and leadership—culminating in her role as deputy head during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic—and recounts a powerful mentoring anecdote that illustrates how reflection, perspective and implementation drive deeper progress each time we revisit familiar challenges. ⏱️ Timestamps & Highlights 00:00 – 02:00 | Welcome & IntroductionsJoshua welcomes Angela, who outlines her 15-year teaching career, leadership roles (phase leader → assistant head → deputy head in 2019–20) and current work mentoring early-career teachers in Lambeth. 02:00 – 05:00 | The Spiral Staircase Metaphor Linear vs circular views of learning Spiral staircase: circling back at a higher vantage point Relevance to life and leadership 05:00 – 14:00 | Core Components of Spiralling Learning Reflection – Pausing to analyse experiences Perspective – Adopting a growth-orientated, humble mindset Implementation – Applying new insights to measure real progress 14:00 – 20:00 | Mentoring Anecdote: A Lesson in HumilityAngela recounts a meeting where she inadvertently spoke over an early-career teacher. Initial shock, shame and self-doubt Reflections on intentions versus impact Perspective shift: modelling humility rather than stepping aside Implementing new behaviours to rebuild trust Outcome: a stronger mentorship relationship and broader leadership growth 20:00 – 24:00 | Fixed vs Growth Mindset & the Role of HumilityJoshua highlights how Angela’s story demonstrates: Moving beyond “I’m just not cut out for this” to “How can I grow?” Embracing mistakes as invitations to go deeper rather than failures to avoid 24:00 – 28:00 | Practical “Why” Questions for LeadersAngela suggests reflective prompts to climb the spiral more intentionally: “Why did this happen?” “Why was I triggered?” Exploring underlying beliefs and emotions for richer context Measuring growth by comparing “what I know now” with “what I knew before” 28:00 – 30:00 | Closing Thoughts & Call to Action “Learning isn’t about ticking boxes; it’s layering wisdom on wisdom.” Lean into the spiral when you feel stuck. Invite listeners to suggest future prompts via LinkedIn. 🎙️ Key Take-Aways Spiral Staircase Metaphor:Revisiting challenges isn’t regression—it’s elevation. Each return offers a new vantage for deeper learning. Three Pillars of Spiralling Learning: Reflection: Pause and analyse what happened and why. Perspective: Adopt a growth mindset and humility. Implementation: Apply new insights to gauge tangible progress. Humility in Leadership:True growth often involves confronting shame, reframing mistakes and modelling vulnerability. Actionable Questions:Use “why” prompts to uncover root causes and chart next steps: Why did this happen? Why did I respond this way? What can I do differently next time? Measure Your Growth:Compare current capabilities with past ones: “What do I know or do now that I couldn’t before?” 🔗 Resources & Connect Joshua Okunlola (Host):LinkedIn Angela Gaisie (Guest):LinkedIn Podcast Contact & Feedback:Share episode prompts or reflections via LinkedIn message to Joshua or Angela. Lead with curiosity. Embrace the spiral. Take it easy!

4. 

   2 May 2025

   EP5 - The power of no

   In episode five of the Un Muddy in the Waters podcast, host Joshua Okunlola dives into the crucial topic of setting boundaries as a leader. Joshua shares his personal struggles with being a people pleaser and the impact it had on his professional and personal life. He discusses the consequences of living by others' expectations and how it led to depletion, anxiety, and disconnection. By recounting his experiences, Joshua illustrates the importance of defining one’s own limits and the positive changes that come from saying no when necessary. He offers practical advice and reflective questions for listeners to evaluate their own boundaries, emphasising that true leadership is about carrying what aligns with one’s values and capacities rather than trying to fulfil external expectations. This episode serves as a guide to help leaders lead with courage, clarity, and intention. 00:00 Introduction and Today's Topic 00:55 The Struggles of Being a People Pleaser 02:57 The Consequences of Saying Yes to Everything 05:13 Realising the Need for Boundaries 07:26 Implementing and Benefiting from Boundaries 08:45 Reflective Questions on Boundaries 09:52 Conclusion and Call to Action

5. 

   25 Apr 2025

   EP4 - Journey from Control to Connection in Leadership

   In this episode of the 'Un Muddying the Waters' podcast, host Joshua Okunlola discusses the pressure leaders often face to appear more confident and knowledgeable than they are. He shares personal experiences from his early days as a facilitator and trainer, highlighting the costs of prioritising appearance and control over genuine connection and presence. Joshua explains how he learned the importance of authenticity in leadership, trusting the process, and valuing the wisdom of the group. He urges listeners to reflect on areas where they may be seeking control, and to consider the benefits of leading with genuine presence and integrity. 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview00:36 The Pressure to Appear Confident00:56 Early Experiences as a Facilitator03:28 The Cost of Pretending06:51 Realisations and Unlearning07:39 Key Lessons in Leadership09:22 Reflective Questions for Leaders09:51 Closing Remarks and Invitation to Connect

6. 

   23 Apr 2025

   EP3- Who Are You at Work? Exploring Hidden Roles in Leadership

   In episode three of the Un-Muddying in the Waters podcast, host Joshua delves into the concept of unspoken and assumed leadership roles through the lens of Role Theory, developed by transactional analysis practitioner Bernd Schmid (2006) . Using role theory and a real-life story of a leader mirroring familiar dynamics in her professional life, Joshua illustrates how our past roles influence present behaviour. He poses reflective questions to help listeners identify and redefine their leadership roles for better clarity and effectiveness. The episode emphasises intentional leadership and the need to differentiate between roles from our personal lives and those required in professional settings. 00:00 Introduction to Episode Three 00:35 Exploring Role Theory 03:30 Real-Life Application of Role Theory 08:35 Questions for Self-Reflection 10:54 Conclusion and Call to Action

7. 

   15 Apr 2025

   EP2 - Uncovering Lies About Courage and Leadership

   In episode two of the 'Un Muddy in the Waters' podcast, host Joshua Okunlola discusses his misconceptions about courage, particularly in leadership. He reflects on his former belief that courage required loud, grand gestures and shares how he now sees it in the quiet admission of human vulnerability. Joshua speaks about his early leadership experience, struggles with asking for help, and the resultant burnout from trying to appear infallible. He emphasizes that real courage involves recognizing and embracing one's humanity, which includes asking for help and leading collaboratively. Joshua concludes by challenging listeners to reflect on the lies they may believe about courage and encourages them to practice truth over performance in their leadership roles.

8. 

   2 Apr 2025

   Intro/Do it messy EP1

   What’s one area of your leadership where you’re waiting to be “ready”?

Podcast Authority Score: 5 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

10

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

0