► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others.
Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions.
I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.
Become the One They’re Terrified to Lose (Do THIS)
► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (https://understandable.net) (ad)
Welcome to today's episode! In this video, I show you how to become the one an avoidant or unavailable partner is terrified to lose, not through games or mystery, but by actually becoming more secure. As a recovered avoidant, I explain why they pull away the more you chase, and why your own pattern keeps you hoping and self-abandoning, often rooted in childhood. Then I share the real approach: set a clear standard, build a life you do not need them for, find a purpose bigger than the relationship, and stay compassionate while setting firm boundaries. They stay or they do not, but either way you win, because you become more yourself.
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
02:01 Why They Pull Away From You
04:46 Your Pattern: Why You Chase Them
08:35 Swap the Psychology
10:08 1: Set the Standard
14:10 2: Build a Life You Do Not Need Them For
16:15 3: Find a Purpose Bigger Than You
17:48 4: Be an Empathetic Listener
19:38 5: Set Boundaries
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
13 Oct 2026
How to Get Over a Breakup with an Avoidant (Even if You Still Love Them)
► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (https://understandable.net) (ad)
Welcome to today's episode! In this video, I explain why breakups with an avoidant are so much harder to get over, and how to heal from one fast. As a recovered avoidant who later dated avoidants himself, I show why the connection feels so magnetic and soulmate-like: it is really two unhealed nervous systems pulling at each other. I share my own dating story, why you did nothing wrong, and the avoidant filter that keeps you from ending up there again. The core mechanism is hope: the hope that they will change has to die, because what they did says nothing about your worth. From there you rebuild a stronger sense of self.
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
01:07 Why the Connection Feels So Intense
04:08 Two Unhealed Nervous Systems
06:27 My Own Dating Story
09:35 It's Not Your Fault
12:44 The Thing That Keeps You Attached
15:53 How To Get Over a Breakup
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
11 Oct 2026
THIS Is How the Bedroom Exposes Avoidant Attachment (The Bed Never Lies)
► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (https://understandable.net) (ad)
Welcome to today's episode! In this video, I explore a topic that rarely gets talked about openly: what happens when an avoidant partner starts to lose sexual desire and pulls away from intimacy. Drawing on my own experience as a recovered avoidant, I walk through why closeness feels like danger to an avoidant nervous system, and how that plays out in the bedroom across four stages, from the intense dating phase to the mechanical phase and finally the drought where sex disappears completely. Most importantly, I want you to understand that this is not about you or your attractiveness. It comes from an old childhood wound where intimacy was tied to pressure and responsibility. In the end I share what you can actually do to restore that connection: reducing the pressure so they stop feeling chased, learning to regulate your own nervous system, refocusing on your own life, and setting clear boundaries around what you are willing to tolerate.
► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable
► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
02:08 Why Avoidants Fear Intimacy
06:12 Stage 0: The Dating Phase
08:13 Stage 1: The Rollercoaster
09:45 Stage 2: The Mechanical Phase
11:07 Stage 3: The Drought
13:20 What You Can Do
15:58 Reduce the Pressure
17:44 Shift the Focus Back to Yourself
19:41 Setting a Boundary
► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net
► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)
► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
YouTube views
270,423
Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025
Apple Podcasts (US)
4.8 / 5
5 ratings
Spotify
4.0 / 5
36 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 85 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
81
Social presence
91
YouTube
86
Engagement
89
Contact UNDERSTANDABLE
Guest appearances
Books guests
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