I miss the America I grew up in. Fairness. Trust. Hope. Or maybe it sucked then too but we didn't have any way to complain about it. Fortunately, now we do.
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The three Abrahamic religions—Judaism, Christianity, and Islam—are not separate belief systems but one spectacularly fractured intellectual property built on the same God, the same foundational mythology, and the same unanswerable question: who speaks for the divine, and did that contract ever officially close? Judaism locked in the original covenant and refuses sequels. Christianity retconned the whole thing with a Messiah twist and then splintered into 45,000 denominations the moment personal interpretation entered the chat. Islam showed up last, declared the previous two seasons a mess, and dropped what it calls the definitive final edition. Four thousand years later, they're still at war over a shared origin story none of them can prove, and the body count suggests humanity would sooner end itself than admit they might all be watching a bootleg.
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18 Mar 2026
Religion Actually Says 2026 Is The Start of World War 3.
In March 2026, as the “Second Civil War” chatter ramps up and the world feels like it’s teetering on the edge of total bullshit, Star Trek canon smugly reminds us that **World War III** officially kicks off this very year—running through 2053 with a body count of around 600 million, courtesy of nuclear fuckery, eco-terrorist Colonel Phillip Green, and his “purity” genocide bullshit—thanks in part to timeline meddling by Romulan time-traveling pricks who shoved the Eugenics Wars out of the ‘90s and into the future to keep things spicy. The upside? After we nearly wipe ourselves out in the Post-Atomic Horror, Vulcans finally land in Montana for First Contact, drop warp tech, and force humanity into a much-needed ego-obliterating reality check where borders, money-grubbing, and follower-count obsessions look like toddler sandbox fights; scarcity gets curb-stomped by replicator-like abundance, survival stops being a capitalist subscription scam, and we pivot to actually building a world worth a damn—though honestly, with the proto-warp tech we already have for universal basics like housing and healthcare, we could skip the radioactive apocalypse and just grow the fuck up now instead of waiting for space nerds to lecture our charred asses
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17 Mar 2026
Elon Musk is Basically Cash Poor.
Elon Musk just snagged the crown as the richest person ever on Forbes’ 2026 World’s Billionaires List with a jaw-dropping $839 billion net worth—up a massive $497 billion in a single year thanks to Tesla’s rocket ride, SpaceX’s valuation surge after merging with xAI into a $1.25 trillion beast, and even the restoration of some hefty Tesla options. But here’s the snarky reality check: this eye-watering figure is almost pure paper wealth, tied up in his big stakes like a ~43% chunk of the SpaceX-xAI combo (worth around $542 billion), a 12% Tesla slice (~$166 billion), and smaller bits in X, Neuralink, and the rest—meanwhile Bloomberg’s playing it safer at about $676 billion with more conservative private-company math. Musk himself calls it “cash poor,” skips a real salary, borrows against stock instead of selling, and his actual liquid cash is probably just low single-digit billions at best—think high-score leaderboard flex rather than Scrooge McDuck swimming in vaults, since dumping it all would tank the prices overnight and turn that fortune into a wild rollercoaster swing of tens of billions on any given day
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