Untangling Ourselves

About Untangling Ourselves

Stories about rediscovering yourself and living in community without coercion. We’ve all experienced pressure to follow values that aren't aligned with our own: at work, in toxic family systems, at school, with friends, or in religious groups. This podcast is about untangling those pressures through deconstructing, deschooling, deprogramming: asking "why" and watching the "have-tos" and "shoulds" fall apart. Guests share how joy, curiosity, and a sense of purpose lead to rethinking how we live our lives, who we think we are, and how we practice relationships. It's not just seeing what's wrong that leads to sustainable shifts--but seeing what's right. Topics including: non-coercive leadership, unschooling, peaceful parenting, feminism, leaving high control religion, neurodivergence, disability, donor conceived people, free Palestine, arts and music, local organizing, mutual aid, trans rights, children's rights, CPTSD, and toxic family systems.

Publisher

Kaitlin Cunningham, PhD

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

21 Sept 2025

Latest episode

1 Jul 2026

Latest episodes

11 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   1 Jul 2026

   2.1: Brave Dog Training with Anita Frank

   With safety at stake, dogs pose a challenge to principles of connection and non-coercion. Dogs can be scary! So what happens when, instead of seeing “bad” behavior, we see anxiety and plea for help? Anita from Brave Dog Training Online (https://www.bravedogtrainingonline.com/) shares her journey toward trusting relationships and trauma-informed dog training. Time Stamps 6:24 Psychology of trauma-informed human and dog relationships 21:21 Anita's story of adopting Sammy, her rescue dog 25:47 From coercion and abuse in childhood to collaborative dog training 42:51 Training examples 58:27 Quick tips 1:05:33 Trust, trauma, and healing Show notes Brave Dog Training Online on youtube (https://www.youtube.com/@BraveDogTrainingOnline), including Anita's Deep dive on reactivity (https://youtu.be/_JoVJwN6J4Y?si=OHJRaMXfTw48jxF4) Anita's website (https://www.bravedogtrainingonline.com/) and podcast: “A Dog’s Soul: An Empath’s Guide to Your Dog’s Feelings” (https://www.youtube.com/@BraveDogTrainingOnline/podcasts) Free leash reactivity course (https://www.bravedogtrainingonline.com/online-dog-training-courses/), as well as marker signals and muzzles. EMDR for dogs (https://brill.com/view/journals/beh/158/14-15/article-p1471_9.xml) Free Bonus content: Dog pictures! (https://www.patreon.com/UntanglingOurselvesPodcast/posts/dogs-162064833) and a tribute to Sammy (https://youtu.be/Pgidzzcysb0) Paid Patreon bonus: video of Anita meeting Toast (https://www.patreon.com/UntanglingOurselvesPodcast/posts/meet-toast-162059408), plus Kaitlin and Anita talking parenting, love, and grief. Relationships that are neither invasive nor evasive is from Parker J Palmer’s book, A Hidden Wholeness (https://www.wiley.com/en-us/A+Hidden+Wholeness%3A+The+Journey+Toward+An+Undivided+Life%2C+20th+Anniversary+Edition-p-9781394235070), referenced by Lee in Season 1 Episode 8 (https://untanglingourselves.com/episode/f1d7e97c/what-can-t-be-taken-voice-community-with-lee-hoffman). “Rilke’s image of love offers us a third possibility. Instead of fixing up, or letting down, people who have a problem, we stand with simple attentiveness at the borders of their solitude—trusting that they have within themselves whatever resources they need and that our attentiveness can help bring those resources into play. A circle of trust consists of relationships that are neither invasive nor evasive. In this space, we neither invade the mystery of another’s true self nor evade another’s struggles. We stay present to each other without wavering, while stifling any impulse to fix each other up.” (64) Support Untangling Ourselves by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/untangling-ourselves (https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/untangling-ourselves) Find out more at https://untanglingourselves.com (https://untanglingourselves.com) This podcast is powered by Pinecast (https://pinecast.com). Try Pinecast for free, forever, no credit card required. If you decide to upgrade, use coupon code r-c49ec3 for 40% off for 4 months, and support Untangling Ourselves. Read transcript (https://pnc.st/s/untangling-ourselves/4709f1ba/brave-dog-training-with-anita-frank/transcript)

2. 

   2 May 2026

   1.8: What Can’t Be Taken: Voice & Community with Lee Hoffman

   When voices resonate together, it’s not just to make music. That resonance can shake loose our bodies, our emotions, our relationships, and our power. Lee Hoffman is a professor of vocal music, choir director, and singer whose compassion, humility, and insight create spaces safe enough for everyone to use their voice. CW: Mentions of CSA, genocide, feminicide, anti-LGBTQ hate crimes Episode artwork "Medicine Series" by Kill Joy (https://joyland.space/) from the Justseeds graphics (https://justseeds.org/graphic/medicine-series/) collection. Time stamps 3:24 Choir culture, safety and sound 14:14 Lee’s childhood in high control Christian churches 17:50 – 19:10 discussion of child sexual assault and religion 19:11 Homophobia, bullying and love as survival 26:54 Teaching voice and anti-racism 44:23 Singing as the doorway 49:09 Cathy Roma 52:19 Non-coercive leadership 1:02:58 Voice as anti-fascism 1:12:17 Silence as being with Links Lee Hoffman (https://www.youtube.com/@leeehoffman) All Voices Choral Project (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkUSKszgmEab6I2L-ot1XLA/videos) Peace and Justice Choir (https://www.peaceandjusticechoir.org/) Peace for Gaza (https://youtu.be/QLixnB7CrJU?si=gltF707SjLfeU7NN) by Katie Ailes (https://katieailes.com/press-interviews/) (https://katieailes.com/press-interviews/)Joan Baez “I am Noise” (https://www.kanopy.com/en/product/15108191) “Watch and Pray” sung by Tamara-Lynn Richards (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuqRUdRZ428) Cathy Roma (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmPKLZKZSZ0) Parker J Palmer A Hidden Wholeness (https://www.wiley.com/en-us/A+Hidden+Wholeness%3A+The+Journey+Toward+An+Undivided+Life%2C+20th+Anniversary+Edition-p-9781394235070) Unschooling (https://www.seedlingsong.com/p/about.html) (https://www.seedlingsong.com/p/about.html) “All of Us” from Considering Matthew Shepard, Craig Hella Johnson (https://youtu.be/ahr8IJMjg1s?si=vYtDhWmmMQaK-gKB) AVCP Listen to Herstory: Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (https://www.facebook.com/allvoiceschoralproject/posts/pfbid02pvrFfwPq2sYQAm2ffSe6LR7UDFpFbEfZyF5e7Jey83gRAnSCTowhcBP9DWVWLuZl) Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (https://www.uihi.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Missing-and-Murdered-Indigenous-Women-and-Girls-Report.pdf) Khadijah Britton (https://www.kcra.com/article/sacramento-missing-murdered-indigenous-persons-task-force/69280739) Search group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1911095978933042/) Lila Downs “Cariñito” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsYZj0uhcaE) Canción sin miedo (https://youtu.be/VLLyzqkH6cs?si=zrLe-1BrMwkjFJgW) Poor People’s Campaign (https://www.poorpeoplescampaign.org/) Support Untangling Ourselves by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/untangling-ourselves (https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/untangling-ourselves) Find out more at https://untanglingourselves.com (https://untanglingourselves.com) This podcast is powered by Pinecast (https://pinecast.com). Read transcript (https://pnc.st/s/untangling-ourselves/f1d7e97c/what-can-t-be-taken-voice-community-with-lee-hoffman/transcript)

3. 

   31 Mar 2026

   1.7: Shifting to Trust with Supriya Narang

   Supriya Narang is a play practitioner, witch, neurodivergent unschooling mom, soap artist, and community organizer. Supriya shares how the expectations and humiliations of motherhood changed her personally and professionally. She offers practical tips about community building, a feminist manifesto on neurodivergent motherhood, and a guiding principle of trusting—and seeing—the most marginalized people in our communities. https://www.instagram.com/thismum.life/ (https://www.instagram.com/thismum.life/) wellbeingwithsupriya at gmail.com (http://gmail.com) Time stamps: 1:16 Neurodivergent community building 14:24 Play therapy 24:06 From corporate a**hole to feminist humility 41:02 Conflict and inclusion Support Untangling Ourselves by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/untangling-ourselves (https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/untangling-ourselves) Find out more at https://untanglingourselves.com (https://untanglingourselves.com) This podcast is powered by Pinecast (https://pinecast.com). Read transcript (https://pnc.st/s/untangling-ourselves/9bb1d62c/shifting-to-trust-with-supriya-narang/transcript)

4. 

   16 Feb 2026

   1.6: "I'll Take the Demerit" with Rayne Depukat

   Rayne shares a story about inner conflict, growing up autistic and surrounded by both disability rights advocacy and evangelical Christianity. They decided early on to “just take the demerit”: discovering that although it may sting, liberation is possible when—in an oppressive system of high control religion, ableism, and patriarchy—you decide to just get on with what you believe is right, regardless of all the ways the people in charge tell you that you’re wrong. Rayne is an ASL interpreter, consultant, and parenting coach, whose work is continuously informed by the Disability Justice principles and in particular disabled Black, indigenous, and people of color’s perspectives. “We can disagree and still love each other, unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” -- Robert Jones Jr. 2:19 Learning ASL 23:04 Leaving Evangelical Christianity 34:34 Identifying as disabled and autistic 41:57 Learning disability justice 58:54 Practicing disability justice principles Rayne Depukat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rayne-depukat/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/rayne-depukat/) Disability Justice Principles: https://sinsinvalid.org/10-principles-of-disability-justice/ (https://sinsinvalid.org/10-principles-of-disability-justice/) Heather Watkins: https://slowwalkersseemore.com/ (https://slowwalkersseemore.com/)https://slowwalkersseemore.com/ (https://slowwalkersseemore.com/) Robert Jones at Son of Baldwin: https://sonofbaldwin.com/ (https://sonofbaldwin.com/)https://sonofbaldwin.com/ (https://sonofbaldwin.com/) Robert Jones' substack, "Witness": https://robertjonesjr.substack.com/ (https://robertjonesjr.substack.com/) (https://robertjonesjr.substack.com/) New Hampshire-Manchester ASL Interpreting Program: https://manchester.unh.edu/program/bs/aslenglish-interpreting-major (https://manchester.unh.edu/program/bs/aslenglish-interpreting-major) More on disability justice: https://stimpunks.org/glossary/disability-justice/ (https://stimpunks.org/glossary/disability-justice/) Review of research on fathers of children: https://academic.oup.com/jdsde/article/26/2/187/6102075 (https://academic.oup.com/jdsde/article/26/2/187/6102075) Research on hearing parents learning ASL: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10785677/ (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10785677/) This podcast is powered by Pinecast (https://pinecast.com). Read transcript (https://pnc.st/s/untangling-ourselves/2c90eb7f/i-ll-take-the-demerit-with-rayne-depukat/transcript)

5. 

   13 Jan 2026

   1.5: Mutual Aid with Andrea Schrimp

   CW: References to child sexual abuse, religious abuse, and death due to systemic vulnerability. Podcast cover image by Dave Lowenstein (https://www.daveloewenstein.com/), used under Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs CC BY-NC-ND Creative Commons License via Justseeds (https://justseeds.org/graphic/arise-together/). Modified with podcast text. Dandelion Seeds: https://sacdandelion.org (https://sacdandelion.org/) 3:05 Andrea’s childhood catching lizards and being a good mormon 10:33 Why she was invested in Mormonism, and what made her leave 26:19 What is Mutual Aid and Dandelion Seeds’ work 37:35 Advice for getting involved and finding community Help for survivors of sexual assault https://www.childhelphotline.org/ (https://www.childhelphotline.org/) https://protecteverychild.com/ (https://protecteverychild.com/) https://rainn.org/ (https://rainn.org/) https://snapnetwork.org/resources-for-survivors/ (https://snapnetwork.org/resources-for-survivors/) https://www.revitalizewellnesscounseling.com/blog/csa-in-the-church (https://www.revitalizewellnesscounseling.com/blog/csa-in-the-church) For leaving high control religion Steve Hassan’s “BITE model” https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/ (https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/) National Domestic Violence hotline https://www.thehotline.org/ (https://www.thehotline.org/) Also see notes on Ep. 1 with Delia Other mutual aid resources: https://sacramentohomelessunion.org/ (https://sacramentohomelessunion.org/) https://foodnotbombs.net/new_site/ (https://foodnotbombs.net/new_site/) https://www.radical-guide.com/listing/punks-with-lunch-sacramento-chapter/ (https://www.radical-guide.com/listing/punks-with-lunch-sacramento-chapter/) https://www.sac-soup.org/ (https://www.sac-soup.org/) https://www.facebook.com/SactoPPC/ (https://www.facebook.com/SactoPPC/) https://www.norcalresist.org/index.html (https://www.norcalresist.org/index.html) https://www.deanspade.net/mutual-aid-building-solidarity-during-this-crisis-and-the-next/ (https://www.deanspade.net/mutual-aid-building-solidarity-during-this-crisis-and-the-next/) More about Dandelion Seeds https://linktr.ee/dandelionseeds916 (https://linktr.ee/dandelionseeds916) Dandelion Seeds is a grassroots mutual aid group working to provide food, water, survival gear, harm reduction, first aid supplies, and other small comforts to our unhoused neighbors in South Sacramento. We (Dandelion Seeds) do street meals on average twice a month, with supplementary runs in extreme weather conditions and for special occasions. We hand out home cooked meals, water, blankets and sleeping bags, Narcan, baby wipes and other hygiene supplies, tents, tarps, socks, hats, gloves, flashlights, first aid, condoms, harm reduction kits, books, reading glasses, pet food, firewood, and more. In addition to material needs, we make an effort to connect with the communities we serve. We spend time getting to know people, their families, their pets. We help with some basic veterinary triage and first aid, give basic general advice on pet and personal care. We listen. In 2025, Dandelion seeds handed out 2,571 meals, 4,258 bottles of water, 790 electrolyte or hot drinks, 95 tarps, 34 tents, 485 packs of wipes, 64 blankets or sleeping bags, 1,020 doses of Narcan, 1,529 harm reduction kits, 311 first aid packs, 11,129 condoms, 1,248 maxi pads, 2,236 tampons, 4,575 pairs of socks, 1,054 hygiene packs, 100 storm kits, 75 emergency food bags, and 50 hot weather comfort kits. We did 38 street outreach days in 2025, with 8 street team volunteers backed by a team of support from volunteers at home, cooking, sewing, knitting, building outreach kits, sourcing supplies, and, of course, making our work possible with money and supply donations. We’re back at it already this year, with 6 street meals scheduled in the first 3 months of 2026. If you want to get involved, send us a message! Or if you want to help with funding, there’s two ways to get money to us. The fast way is to send PayPal as a “friends and family” transaction. That puts money directly into our working account. https://www.paypal.me/DandelionSeeds916?locale.x=en_US (https://www.paypal.me/DandelionSeeds916?locale.x=en_US) Alternately, if you’d like to make a tax deductible donation, and/or set up a recurring donation, you can use this link to the donation page set up by our fiscal sponsor, A Radical Guide. All of those funds, less the credit card processing fees, go to us. It’s a little bit slower, but it’s tax deductable, AND when you set up a recurring donation, it helps us even more because it allows us to make plans for ongoing expenses https://www.radical-guide.com/dandelion-seeds/ (https://www.radical-guide.com/dandelion-seeds/) And we’ve recently updated our wishlist. (We hate Amazon too, alas, they have the most functional wishlist feature for our needs. If you want to buy stuff for us from someplace else, get in touch and we’ll figure out the best way to make that work.) https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2261OGZ8J8LBA?ref_=wl_share (https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2261OGZ8J8LBA?ref_=wl_share) Let it begin with each step we take, and let it begin with each change we make, and let it begin with each chain we break, and let it begin every time we awake.

6. 

   10 Jan 2026

   In Memory of Renee Nichole Macklin Good

   CW addresses gun violence Podcast cover image by Landon Sheely (https://landonsheely.com/work), used under Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs CC BY-NC-ND Creative Commons License via Justseeds (https://justseeds.org/graphics/?js-movement=anti-ice), modified with podcast title text. Support the artist here (https://philadelphiaprintworks.com/collections/art-by-landon-sheely). 1:46 Statement from Becca Good published in the Minnesota Star Tribune (https://www.mprnews.org/story/2026/01/09/renee-goods-wife-releases-statement-about-ice-shooting) 4:39 “On Learning to Dissect Fetal Pigs” by Renee Nichole Macklin Good, read by Andrea Schrimp 7:06 “Good” by Andrea Schrimp Sources: https://www.mprnews.org/story/2026/01/09/renee-goods-wife-releases-statement-about-ice-shooting (https://www.mprnews.org/story/2026/01/09/renee-goods-wife-releases-statement-about-ice-shooting) https://poets.org/2020-on-learning-to-dissect-fetal-pigs (https://poets.org/2020-on-learning-to-dissect-fetal-pigs) https://www.startribune.com/she-was-an-amazing-human-being-mother-identifies-woman-shot-killed-by-ice-agent/601559922 (https://www.startribune.com/she-was-an-amazing-human-being-mother-identifies-woman-shot-killed-by-ice-agent/601559922) Where to donate: Monarca Rapid Response line https://monarcamn.org/ (https://monarcamn.org/) https://givebutter.com/mntogether (https://givebutter.com/mntogether) (https://monarcamn.org/) (https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-south-high-school-families) https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-south-high-school-families (https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-south-high-school-families) From Ashley Horan (https://www.facebook.com/ashley.a.p.horan/posts/pfbid0a3a3da41coi85JVMSZkPbK97GVa4eWGzG3wiEx7RGApo88QiKvs9ZyfBZAX1sMWsl), UU clergy on the ground in Minneapolis: https://www.facebook.com/ashley.a.p.horan/posts/pfbid041T5hNt4Ro7YV4BiDWjYL6vD88PzrtEn4HJB7YHhtvq311sjvC1utyCsDe9tBmt1l (https://www.facebook.com/ashley.a.p.horan/posts/pfbid041T5hNt4Ro7YV4BiDWjYL6vD88PzrtEn4HJB7YHhtvq311sjvC1utyCsDe9tBmt1l) MIRAC - Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee https://www.miracmn.com/ (https://www.miracmn.com/) CTUL https://www.facebook.com/CTULucha (https://www.facebook.com/CTULucha) Interfaith Coalition on Immigration (ICOM) https://mnicom.org/ (https://mnicom.org/) MARCH https://www.marchminnesota.org/ (https://www.marchminnesota.org/) United Renters for Justice - InquilinXs UnidXs por Justicia https://www.inquilinxsunidxs.org/ (https://www.inquilinxsunidxs.org/) Unidos MN https://unidos-mn.org/ (https://unidos-mn.org/) CAIR-Minnesota (CAIR-MN) http://www.cairmn.com (http://www.cairmn.com/) Immigrant Law Center Minnesota https://www.ilcm.org/donate/ (https://www.ilcm.org/donate/) Immigrant Defense Network https://immigrantdefensenetwork.org/donate/ (https://immigrantdefensenetwork.org/donate/) https://monarcamn.org/ (https://monarcamn.org/) Further Reading: https://www.facebook.com/amightygirl/posts/pfbid0kKXgAJ13tkwKMqAcmJmFxnvsiB1aB2XGn9NPBmj6219JM8jp6rkGGkmbfMFz7wmyl (https://www.facebook.com/amightygirl/posts/pfbid0kKXgAJ13tkwKMqAcmJmFxnvsiB1aB2XGn9NPBmj6219JM8jp6rkGGkmbfMFz7wmyl) https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jan/09/white-house-minneapolis-ice-killing (https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jan/09/white-house-minneapolis-ice-killing) https://www.404media.co/dhs-is-lying-to-you-about-ice-shooting-a-woman/ (https://www.404media.co/dhs-is-lying-to-you-about-ice-shooting-a-woman/)

7. 

   28 Nov 2025

   1.4: More K-Pop with Rob Cunningham

   Show Notes Ep 4: More K-Pop with Rob Cunningham How does an experimental music aficionado become a K-pop fan? Always on the search for mind-blowing sound (see part one of his story in Epiosde 3), Rob reoriented to fun and living in the present during the pandemic. This led him to K-pop and its spectacular, dramatic audiovisual abundance. We talk about K-pop’s relationship to 80s music, Rob's favorite bands, originality, whiteness, politics, and joy as a compass. You can find playlists and reviews at his blog: https://theaquamarinelayer.blogspot.com/ (https://theaquamarinelayer.blogspot.com/) Or on mastadon at: @toblaveistobluff@kind.social (https://kind.social/@toblaveistobluff) -- 1:54 Pandemic reset 5:10 Intro to K-pop via homeschool conference 9:53 Twice 19:48 Diving into the deep end 24:05 Connection to past music genres 28:34 Functional versus spectacle aesthetics 33:26 Girls Generation “The Boys” as a quantum leap 38:32 Fandoms and politics 47:54 K-Pop Dreaming podcast 53:32 Joy as a compass -- Key links K-pop homeschool: https://www.instagram.com/kpophomeschool/ (https://www.instagram.com/kpophomeschool/) Twice “Jelly Jelly”: https://youtu.be/WuLQ5iV3Q64 (https://youtu.be/WuLQ5iV3Q64) Dreamcatcher: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QD0FeZyDtQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QD0FeZyDtQ) Red Velvet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBnGBb1wg98 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBnGBb1wg98) Girls Generation “I got a boy”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq7ftOZBy0E (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq7ftOZBy0E) About “I got a boy”: https://web.archive.org/web/20230120020946/https://www.mtv.com/news/nol58l/girls-generation-i-got-a-boy-new-retro (https://web.archive.org/web/20230120020946/https://www.mtv.com/news/nol58l/girls-generation-i-got-a-boy-new-retro) K-Pop Dreaming Podcast: https://laist.com/podcasts/california-love (https://laist.com/podcasts/california-love) Maid: https://www.netflix.com/title/81166770 (https://www.netflix.com/title/81166770) -- More links Homeschool conference: https://www.hsc.org/ (https://www.hsc.org/) (https://www.hsc.org/)YP: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JYP_Entertainment (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JYP_Entertainment) Itzy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zndvqTc4P9I (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zndvqTc4P9I) Black pink: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S24-y0Ij3Y (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S24-y0Ij3Y) Ministry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2MH5c2sTvc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2MH5c2sTvc) Guy Debord: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectacle_(critical_theory) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectacle_(critical_theory)) Girls Generation “The Boys”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pA_Tou-DPI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pA_Tou-DPI) Exo “Mama”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH6ZwnqZ7Wo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH6ZwnqZ7Wo) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH6ZwnqZ7Wo) Loona https://youtu.be/zW-AIXAnLcE (https://youtu.be/zW-AIXAnLcE) NewJeans https://youtu.be/js1CtxSY38I (https://youtu.be/js1CtxSY38I) On BTS “Not Today”: https://muish.wordpress.com/2015/12/06/bts-baepsae-english-translation-ramblings/ (https://muish.wordpress.com/2015/12/06/bts-baepsae-english-translation-ramblings/) (https://muish.wordpress.com/2015/12/06/bts-baepsae-english-translation-ramblings/) Politics: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/22/arts/music/k-pop-fans-trump-politics.html?unlocked_article_code=1.4E8.mhXf.l7jYUvwCUm-q\&smid=url-share (https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/22/arts/music/k-pop-fans-trump-politics.html?unlocked_article_code=1.4E8.mhXf.l7jYUvwCUm-q\&smid=url-share) “Flawless”: https://www.npr.org/2023/05/22/1177477181/beauty-culture-in-south-korea-reveals-a-grim-future-in-flawless (https://www.npr.org/2023/05/22/1177477181/beauty-culture-in-south-korea-reveals-a-grim-future-in-flawless) K-pop and feminism: https://web.archive.org/web/20211213160637/https://catapult.co/stories/dear-irene-im-still-learning-how-to-be-a-feminist-too-k-pop-fan-giaae-kwon (https://web.archive.org/web/20211213160637/https://catapult.co/stories/dear-irene-im-still-learning-how-to-be-a-feminist-too-k-pop-fan-giaae-kwon)

8. 

   26 Nov 2025

   1.3: Pure Sound with Rob Cunningham

   Show Notes for Ep 3: Pure Sound with Rob Cunningham Rob has been searching for innovative, mind-blowing sounds ever since he was a little kid watching MTV in 1980s suburban Los Angeles. He tells his story of searching through rap, goth, metal, punk, industrial, electronic, experimental, 80s, and classical music. In part two we'll talk about kpop. You can find playlists and reviews at his blog: https://theaquamarinelayer.blogspot.com/ (https://theaquamarinelayer.blogspot.com/) Or on mastadon at: @toblaveistobluff@kind.social (https://kind.social/@toblaveistobluff) -- 2:10 Thriller, Gangster Rap, Punk, Goth, Industrial, Electronic 5:53 Nine Inch Nails 7:45 Subcultures 14:08 Accessing music 18:11 Usenet, the changing internet, lull in the 2000s 22:02 “Have your kids shocked you with their music?” 26:55 KDVS radio 28:51 Losing a sense of direction in the musical archive 32:45 Pop sneaks in: 80s, Taylor Swift, and Spice Girls 40:22 Fandoms 44:20 The search for pure sound vs. big productions -- Key links Thriller: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Jackson%27s_Thriller_(music_video) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Jackson%27s_Thriller_(music_video))Run DMC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19tjJ0G-8V4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19tjJ0G-8V4) Nine Inch Nails https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak7BQaaizlM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak7BQaaizlM) Nurse with Wound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1efx5baXO-4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1efx5baXO-4) Helene Grimaud https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujO9p1u70Ac (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujO9p1u70Ac) KDVS: (22-23) www.kdvs.org (http://www.kdvs.org/) Taylor Swift Reputation tour https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBk4xPhag-gT__wpprfT-7kTz7Wvl7oLF (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBk4xPhag-gT__wpprfT-7kTz7Wvl7oLF) Spice World https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spice_World_(film) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spice_World_(film)) -- More links Beastie Boys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkIB7YHbvc8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkIB7YHbvc8) NWA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZuxPKUVGiw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZuxPKUVGiw) Eazy-E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYn6Vz9X0VQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYn6Vz9X0VQ) Public Enemy https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP1lC0FnuI0L5mKZdSVAazv8Os0gk82DX (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP1lC0FnuI0L5mKZdSVAazv8Os0gk82DX) Merzbow https://merzbow.bandcamp.com/album/pulse-demon (https://merzbow.bandcamp.com/album/pulse-demon) Aube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpis9vRJmtM\&t=2313s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpis9vRJmtM\&t=2313s) Incapacitants https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSG3m5ujegA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSG3m5ujegA) Autechre https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMT_NmagvZ8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMT_NmagvZ8) Aphex Twin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwAngCPxnHQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwAngCPxnHQ)

9. 

   6 Nov 2025

   1.2: "Just People" with Sue Patterson of Unschooling Mom2Mom

   Who is a "typical suburban mom"? And what if they were never taught to people please? I talk to Sue Patterson about showing up authentically, partnering with your kids, and using your voice—even when it’s shaky. In many different spaces, from facebook groups to the school cafeteria, Sue meets people where they are, right now. Sue is a coach and podcaster whose website, Unschooling Mom2Mom, offers an accessible entry point for new unschooling families. 2:19: Defining unschooling 7:10 Journey to unschooling and living in the present 19:39 Sue’s background as an outspoken kid and psychiatric nurse 24:08 Changing culture by creating Unschooling Mom2Mom 41:33 Political speech and the typical suburban mom 58:28 Sue’s guiding principals Unschooling Mom2Mom https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/ (https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/) Sue’s podcast with quick unschooling tips https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/podcast (https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/podcast) Sue’s substack https://unschooling.substack.com/ (https://unschooling.substack.com/) Homeschooled Teens book https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/product/homeschooled-teens-book (https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/product/homeschooled-teens-book) Strewing calendar https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/strewing-calendars (https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/strewing-calendars) Home Education Magazine https://openlibrary.org/works/OL9625942W/The_Homeschool_Reader (https://openlibrary.org/works/OL9625942W/The_Homeschool_Reader) The Unschooling Handbook: How to Use the Whole World as Your Child’s Curriculum Mary Griffith https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-unschooling-handbook-how-to-use-the-whole-world-as-your-child-s-classroom-mary-griffith/641440e51a6b16d8 (https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-unschooling-handbook-how-to-use-the-whole-world-as-your-child-s-classroom-mary-griffith/641440e51a6b16d8) John Taylor Gatto https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Taylor_Gatto (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Taylor_Gatto) Pam Sarooshian https://livingjoyfully.ca/blog/2016/01/eu002-ten-questions-with-pam-sorooshian/ (https://livingjoyfully.ca/blog/2016/01/eu002-ten-questions-with-pam-sorooshian/)

10. 

    22 Oct 2025

    1.1: Non-Coercion: The Third Option with Delia Tetelman

    How does deprogramming from a Christian Campus Cult in the 1980s connect with supporting parents as they navigate neurodivergence today? Delia Tetelman shares her story. Deprogramming didn’t stop with leaving the cult, it’s helped her with parenting, unschooling, mental health, and disability justice. Delia and I are part of the admin team for a free support group, Unschooling Every Family. The group helps families who are just beginning to learn about ableism and non-coercion. https://unschoolingeveryfamily.com/ (https://unschoolingeveryfamily.com/) 2:17 What is Unschooling? 11:49 Delia’s background in a toxic family system and high control religion 20:48 Christian Campus Cult indoctrination in the 1980s 31:28 Deprogramming and the house of cards 46:05 Life after the cult 51:58 Reflective parenting 57:59 Neurodiversity and mentalization 1:09:28 The link between deprogramming and connection parenting Help with high control religion and coercive control: Steve Hassan’s “BITE model” https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/ (https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/) National Domestic Violence hotline https://www.thehotline.org/ (https://www.thehotline.org/) Mentioned in this episode: Cults to Consciousness podcast https://www.youtube.com/c/CultstoConsciousness (https://www.youtube.com/c/CultstoConsciousness) Maranatha https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maranatha_Campus_Ministries (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maranatha_Campus_Ministries) Peter Fonagy discussing mentalization on “The Life Scientific” https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000dpj2 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000dpj2) Reflective Parenting https://www.reflectivecommunities.org/what-is-reflective-parenting (https://www.reflectivecommunities.org/what-is-reflective-parenting) Reflective Communication in unschooling and/or neurodivergence https://unschoolingeveryfamily.com/start-here/4/#guide-3-connection-parenting-reflective-parenting (https://unschoolingeveryfamily.com/start-here/4/#guide-3-connection-parenting-reflective-parenting) Treating Personality Disorders in Children and Adolescents A Relational Approach by Efrain Bleiberg https://www.guilford.com/books/Treating-Personality-Disorders-in-Children-and-Adolescents/Efrain-Bleiberg/9781593850180 (https://www.guilford.com/books/Treating-Personality-Disorders-in-Children-and-Adolescents/Efrain-Bleiberg/9781593850180) Trauma Geek resources on the intersection of neurodiversity and mental health https://www.traumageek.com/ (https://www.traumageek.com/) Rayne Depukat, neurodivergent and homeschooling coach, ASL translator https://www.linkedin.com/in/rayne-depukat/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/rayne-depukat/) Autistic Values https://neuroclastic.com/the-identity-theory-of-autism-values-are-not-opinions-to-autistics-we-are-our-values/ (https://neuroclastic.com/the-identity-theory-of-autism-values-are-not-opinions-to-autistics-we-are-our-values/) All Our Families: Disability Lineage and the Future of Kinship, by Jennifer Natalya Fink https://www.jennifernatalyafink.com/ (https://www.jennifernatalyafink.com/)

11. 

    21 Sept 2025

    Welcome to Untangling Ourselves

    Welcome to Untangling Ourselves What leads you in those moments when you realize, "You must change your life"? What joys, creative projects, values, or sense of purpose guide your next step and help you untangle yourself from bias and limiting beliefs? Coming soon. Archaic Torso of Apollo (https://poets.org/poem/archaic-torso-apollo), by Rainer Maria Rilke

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