23 Jun 2026
You're Not Behind, You're Just Obsessed With Certainty
What if the feeling of being "behind" is actually just an obsession with a future you can't control?
In this installment of our You Are Not Behind series, host Michael Lovett sits down with writer Josh Pacheco to unpack a massive mental roadblock plaguing twenty-somethings and seasoned seekers alike: the chronic anxiety of demanding a surefire life.
Triggered by a deep dive into Josh's essay All Is Well, this episode tackles a raw, uncomfortable truth—how our obsession with mapping out every variable (from dating formulas to five-year plans) traps us in a state of constant moral anxiety and guilt. Josh opens up about his own path through singlehood, the internal shift required to trade behavior-management for genuine faith, and the profound, quiet initiation he experienced while living entirely alone in a Florida tiny house.
If you are currently paralyzing yourself over a major life decision, holding onto a relationship with a low-level fear of the unknown, or feeling deeply insecure because your tomorrow isn't guaranteed, this conversation is your permission slip to stop running. Wholehearted living isn't about collecting all the answers—it's about learning that certainty is an idol of our own making, and true growth happens in the space where you finally choose to trust.
Links
IG: http://instagram.com/maninmanyroles
Web: https://urenuf.life
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@urenuflife
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2K9gPrslZzviBpucP8jvYE
Personalized coaching: https://calendar.app.google/UPx3istUwVJsuNA1A
Read Josh's work: Dig deeper into his essays at joshpacheco.substack.com (https://www.google.com/search?q=https://joshpacheco.substack.com).
The dialogue kicks off with Michael and Josh unpacking a comment Michael left on Josh’s essay All Is Well. They confront a common modern trend: the willingness to abandon an otherwise beautiful, good, and true relationship simply because of the overwhelming anxiety of an unresolved future variable—specifically, differing generational timelines and views on having children.
Michael and Josh break down how people subconsciously treat a perfectly predictable future as a "right" or an entitlement, rather than a privilege. They analyze how trying to completely de-risk life before making commitments creates a false expectation of security, replacing authentic faith with chronic worry. Michael introduces the generational question: Do younger people feel entitled to control their outcomes, or can they view life as an opportunity to partner with God in the unknown?
Josh connects these themes to his personal transformation timeline:
The Breaking Point (2020): Realizing his spiritual life was entirely fueled by a heavy sense of performance, guilt, and the constant, draining anxiety of needing every single action to be "defensibly right" to the crowd around him.
The Tiny House Season (2022): Choosing to step directly into his biggest fear—living completely alone in Oviedo, Florida.
The Lived Experience: Discovering that removing the constant hum of outside opinions gave his own voice weight and allowed him to find a radical, quiet freedom where he could marvel at God in the everyday, shifting his spiritual practice from behavior-management to a lived experience.
The conversation loops back to the posture of Jesus, who lived entirely secure against the anxiety of future interruptions. Josh and Michael issue a definitive challenge to the listener: stop treating certainty like an idol. Quoting C.S. Lewis, they offer grounded comfort to the distressed seeker—reminding them that the very existence of their searching means they are exactly where they need to be. The episode closes with Josh sharing his next steps as a maturing writer and a declaration that, despite the chaos of the journey, life is good and all is well.
