Every week, married horror fans, Jared and Christina take a meandering, tangent prone, spoiler filled walk through the bloody fields of Horror movies. Listen in as they dissect and dismember a different horror movie each week, from classic to modern, from slasher to supernatural. The serious business of horror shouldn't be taken too seriously.
Jared & Christina are back with a show update! Listen in as they talk about where they've been, and where the show's going...oh, and tangents and ramblings too.
4 Jun 2021
Episode 16: Two Quarters and a Half (28 Days Later)
Spoiler alert: Jared & Christina spend a significant amount of time bashing "28 Days Later" on this weeks episode. Listen in as they question all the praise for this horror film, contemplate cringey memory erasure, and take a logical look and controllable projectile blood vomit as an effective vehicle for zombie infection! Seriously, that last sentence was more entertaining than 2 hours worth of "28 Days Later".
Since we ramble, here are some timestamps of note:
Intro- 00:00Coffee Talk- 3:15Question- 13:54Movie- 20:37
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28 May 2021
Episode 15: Buffy the Ann Ramsey Slayer (Deadly Friend)
Before she partnered up with Beverly Hills heartthrobs to kill vampires, Kristy Swanson starred in the 1986 horror movie "Deadly Friend" where she got to showcase her robot impression, dabble in the art of breaking necks, and show us all how to throw a basketball like a bloody champ!
Jared & Christina tackle this disaster of a film while exposing the awful realities of adult onesies, hairy nipples, and cowboy hats, question why 80's bullies always own some kind of motorbike, and other non sequiturs. If it weren't for all the cursing, talk of death, blood and guts, it would be fun for the whole family.
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21 May 2021
Episode 14: The Haddonfield Key Party Babysitter Massacre (Halloween)
After an unexpected hiatus, Jared & Christina are back to hold your hand through horror! This week, a new coffee feature debuts and exposes our hosts as coffee snobs and Christina annoys Jared with her state pronunciation and love for Chicago deep dish.
Episode 14 has our hosts dive into one of the greatest horror movies of all time, the 1978 classic, Halloween! Listen in we offer a possible reason for the lack of adults in Haddonfield while babysitters are being murdered, realize Mike Myers is also a real creep, and compare the babysitting struggles of Halloween and Adventures in Babysitting.
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27 Apr 2021
Episode 13: The "Zed" Word (Night of the Living Dead)
In this week's episode, we examine the absolute worst group of zombie apocalypse survivors ever in the 1968 horror classic, Night of the Living Dead. If that's not enough to grab you, we have way too deep discussions on plant pillows, how everyone's "Zombie Survival Plan" sucks, and Kiss coffins vs. Costco coffins.
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13 Apr 2021
Episode 12: Mothers, Sons, Tasers, and Gloves (M.O.M. Mothers of Monsters)
What do gas masks, hanger masks, FBI Most Wanted Lists, and Nazi leprechauns have a common? Not a whole lot, but Jared & Christina tie them all together while discussing M.O.M (Mothers of Monsters). Listen in as they break down this modern twist on the "found footage" horror genre, overanalyze and vilify everyone on camera. Just your average conversation about psychopathic teenagers, fed up mothers, and mentions of Dracula: Dead and Loving It.
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25 Mar 2021
Episode 11: How The Worst Birthday Ever Got Worse (Child's Play)
Another week, another horror move walkthrough with Jared & Christina. This week, the original Child's Play gets the ridiculous deep dive treatment of Watchin' Horror. Listen as we nitpick at Tesla's and serial killer culture, while we learn a bit more about Jared's less than typical childhood, and Christina schools us all on the Electromagnetic Spectrum. The exploration of Child's Play takes us to places such as the Aunt Maggies poor life choices, Andy's sad birthday and the Tommy Wiseau Voodoo loving lookalike Charles Lee Ray and so much more.
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17 Mar 2021
Episode 10: The Griswold's Suburban Cemetery. (Poltergeist)
From "They're Here," to "This house is clean," Jared & Christina overanalyze the 1982 horror (sort of?) classic movie "Poltergeist"! What happens when the director of Texas Chainsaw Massacre teams up with the director of E.T.? Well...you get a shiny horror film where the the only death is that of an offscreen canary, oh and there's and an oddly random face tearing hallucination. As is the case every week, Jared and Christina go in way too deep and way off road.
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This week, Jared & Christina celebrate Killer Klowns From Outer Space! Listen as they praise this cult classic's clown kills, cotton candy Hawaiian Punch filled death sacks, and it's lumbering antagonists! In true Watchin' Horror fashion, it's not all good vibes as Jared is a little fussy and rants against the very existence of armadillos while Christina stumbles on a clown-themed motel. In other words, a typical Watchin' Horror roller coaster.
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19 Feb 2021
Episode 08: Mind Your Business Lady! (Candyman)
It's the SUPER LATE 8th episode of Watchin' Horror where Jared and Christina talk Candyman(1992)! Listen as Jared defines "poopmenship" and Christina suggests gift baskets for street tuffs. Also, we dive deep into the scary Candyman mythos and discover this whole creepy murderous Candyman business could have been avoided if not for a nosey cleaning woman! This whole movie is really a cautionary tale to keep your mouth shut...and not just because of the bees.
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9 Feb 2021
Episode 07: Live Or Die...In A Dirty Bathroom (Saw)
How does a fleet footed terminal cancer patient deal with imminent death? With grace and dignity, or twisted murder games? Since this is Watchin' Horror, you can bet it's not the first one. Join us this week as we delve into the modern horror classic Saw! Listen as Jared calls out fake accents, and Christina discovers Poppy! Between the blood, guts, and death traps, ponder the shopping the habits for black cloaks and a case for shawls in a Covid laden world with us...look we explore every avenue here alright.
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2 Feb 2021
Episode 06: Cloaked Satanic Wall People (Hell House LLC 2 & 3)
It's Watchin' Horror's first double feature with Hell House LLC 2 and 3! This week, Jared & Christina, dive deep into the Hell House universe and try to make sense of all this found footage. Listen as they sift through the Morning Mysteries, ponder who's actually opening the hotel doors, reveal how Christina wants people to find out about her death, and so much more.
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13 Jan 2021
Episode 05: Cloaked Satanic Wall People (Hell House LLC)
In this week's episode of Watchin' Horror, Jared & Christina check out the found footage film Hell House LLC. In between the discussion of scary cloaked figures and scary clown masks, you'll discover Jared's aversion to math, Christina's resistance to a Snuggie, and real life haunted house stories, all without a nauseating shaky cam first person POV!!
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5 Jan 2021
Episode 04: A Blush With Evilllll (New Year's Evil)
This week, Jared & Christina usher in the New Year with evil. But not just any evil, with Evillllll, aggressive amounts of makeup, a creepy emo son, and boredom, oh and tangents. Tangents about spoilers, New Years Eve, the word 'panties', local geography, and more. It's a real "get to know your hosts" episode.
Despite all the distractions, Jared & Christina manage breakdown the cult hit(?) New Year's Evil. Listen as Christina judges Blaze harshly, Jared questions the theme song, and tries to figure out just what the hell "smoke a number" means!
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22 Dec 2020
Episode 03: Zombie Fun In The Mall (Dawn of the Dead)
It's nearly Christmas, and nothing says happy holidays like blue zombies in a mall! Listen as Jared & Christina breakdown the George Romero classic "Dawn of the Dead". As Christina emerges victorious in her bout with Covid, Jared rails against "precious" horror movies. Christina can't wrap her head around a helipad on a mall roof, and Jared looks for ways to incorporate the term "wood shampoo" into conversation. If you've been pining for a conversation that incorporates zombies, free speech, Iggy Pop, ice skating, and salads, you are in luck!
15 Dec 2020
Episode 02: Battle of the Ghouls: The Warrens vs. Bathsheba (The Conjuring)
What's scarier than a haunted house, a possession, scary ghost children, and an unnecessarily shoehorned creepy doll? Ed and Lorraine Warren of The Conjuring! This week, Jared and a Covid ravaged Christina peel the skin back from this "based on a true story" horror movie, and discuss the creepy Warren's, the decidedly less creepy spirit of Bathsheba, and the awesomeness of "hide and clap". Oh, and the movie, they talk about the movie too.
5 Dec 2020
Episode 01: Dusty Father Plaque Breath Goes To Georgetown (The Exorcist)
Listen as Jared & Christina fumble through, and pick apart "The scariest movie of all time", The Exorcist in episode 1! Roll your eyes as Jared rages against multi-vocational priests. Hear Christina sing the praises of Fr. Dyer and call him a creep at the same time. Scoff at Jared's realization of the movie title's origin and Christina blasting Regan's incompetent doctors. Join us for all the possession fun!
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