We're Dating the Same Guy

About We're Dating the Same Guy

We're Dating the Same Guy uncovers the dating patterns we all repeat—whether we realize it or not—and, more importantly, how to break them. From attachment styles and intimacy to feminine and masculine energy, red flags, self-sabotage, and rebuilding your relationship with yourself, we dive deep into what’s really driving your love life. With expert guests and real-life dating stories, these raw, eye-opening conversations will help you stop dating on autopilot. If we don’t change our patterns, we’re just dating the same guy… over and over again. It’s time to date differently.

Publisher

Madden Zappa

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

28 Mar 2025

Latest episode

23 Jun 2026

Latest episodes

53 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   23 Jun 2026

   EP 52: The Third Person on Every Date: Eating Disorders, Body Image & Dating with Zeynep Demirelli

   If you've ever cancelled a date because of how you felt in your body that day — this episode is for you. Body image and eating disorders don't stay in the kitchen or the gym. They follow us onto the dating app, into the first date, into the bedroom, and into the moments when we finally start to let someone in. And yet, this is a topic that almost never gets talked about in dating spaces. Madden opens up about her own decade-long experience navigating an eating disorder alongside dating — the restriction before dates, the hypervigilance at dinner, the way her ED behaviors flared up when her anxiety did — and invites therapist and eating disorder specialist Zeynep Demirelli to unpack what's actually going on beneath the surface. This is not a clinical episode. It's a real, raw, deeply human conversation about shame, attachment, and the longing to be loved exactly as you are. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: The difference between body image and eating disorders (and why it matters) Why eating disorders are really about attachment and fear of abandonment — not vanity When and how to tell a partner about your eating disorder How a breakup hits differently when you have an ED — and what your inner critic does with it How eating disorders show up in men (and why we miss it) Why healing doesn't have to happen before love — it often happens inside it "Eating disorders have nothing to do with vanity. It's all about shame, attachment, and safety — or the lack of it. For people with eating disorders and severe body image disturbances, their relationship with their body is deeply tied to their sense of worth and their fear of abandonment. Dating doesn't create this fear. It activates it." - Zeynep Demirelli CONNECT WITH ZEYNEP DEMIRELLI: Zeynep is a therapist specializing in eating disorders, body image, and food struggles. Drawn to this work through her own teenage experience with an eating disorder, she brings both clinical expertise and genuine lived understanding to the conversation. Zeynep's Instagram: @realistic.body.therapist (instagram.com/realistic.body.therapist) Zeynep's Substack (realisticbodytherapist.substack.com) CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA: Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ (instagram.com/maddenzappa) STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ (instagram.com/datedifferentlyco) Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ (https://www.speakpipe.com/datedifferentlydiaries) ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

2. 

   26 May 2026

   EP 51: You've Been Asking the Wrong Questions After Every Date: The 4-Question Dating Checklist

   You went on the date. You texted your friends. And immediately, every question was about him — did he like you, did he text, does he want a second date? But here's what we almost never stop to ask: Did you even like him? In this episode, Madden introduces a dating checklist that has nothing to do with his behavior — and everything to do with yours. Fresh off hosting her very first in-person dating event (the Love Lab!), Madden brings the energy of summer dating season with a framework that puts you back at the center of your own experience. This checklist isn't about being pickier or playing games. It's about breaking the cycle of performing and auditioning your way through dates — and finally dating like someone whose experience actually matters. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why even the most self-aware daters default to outsourcing their experience — and how to catch yourself doing it in real time The subtle but important difference between performing and auditioning on a date (they overlap, but they're not the same thing) How to tell if you were actually present on a date or just managing the conversation Why your body language during a date is some of the most honest data you have — and how to start reading it The one question that should anchor every post-date debrief that almost none of us are asking How to use this 4-question checklist to keep yourself at the center of your own dating experience — not just this summer, but every date going forward "This checklist exists for one reason: to put you back in the center of your own dating life." - Madden Zappa CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA: Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ (instagram.com/maddenzappa) STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ (instagram.com/datedifferentlyco) Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ (https://www.speakpipe.com/datedifferentlydiaries) ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

3. 

   19 May 2026

   EP 50: Pelvic Health, Shame & Intimacy: What Your Doctor Isn't Telling You ft. Dr. Sarah Oreck

   So many women are silently navigating pelvic pain, chronic BV, UTIs, and other symptoms — feeling embarrassed, dismissed by doctors, or completely disconnected from their own bodies. And what we don't talk about enough? How much this affects your confidence, your intimacy, and your relationship with yourself. In this episode, Madden is joined by Dr. Sarah Oreck, a Columbia-trained reproductive psychiatrist and co-founder of Mavida Health, for one of the most validating and important conversations we've had on this show. Whether you're single, dating, in a relationship, or married — this one is for you. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: The real (and often ignored) women's health issues: BV, pelvic pain, vaginismus, vulvodynia, perimenopause, chronic UTIs What medical gaslighting actually does to your nervous system and your trust in relationships How pelvic health symptoms quietly erode your confidence and make you avoid intimacy Why you don't need to apologize — not to your doctor, not to your partner, not to anyone How to start rebuilding your connection with your body (and why your skincare routine counts) What emotionally supportive partners actually do (and what's a red flag) The importance of leading with curiosity "The pelvis holds a lot. I actually think it's a place that stores a great deal of trauma and a great deal of anger. That's why the mental health piece is always so important to link with the physical. A lot of people are just running to OBs and urologists trying to figure it out — but mental health support in all of this is essential."— Dr. Sarah Oreck CONNECT WITH DR. SARAH ORECK: Dr. Sarah Oreck is a Columbia-trained reproductive psychiatrist with a practice focused on women's mental health across every life stage — from fertility and pregnancy to perimenopause and beyond. She is the co-founder of Mavida Health, a virtual mental health platform making specialized reproductive psychiatric care accessible and affordable. Mavita is currently serving patients in California, New York, New Jersey, and Texas, with rapid expansion underway. Dr. Oreck's Instagram: @sarahoreckmd (https://www.instagram.com/sarahoreckmd/) Dr. Oreck's TikTok: @drsarahoreck (https://www.tiktok.com/@drsarahoreck) Mavida Health Instagram: @mavidahealth (https://www.instagram.com/mavidahealth/) Learn more about Mavida Health HERE (https://www.mavidahealth.com/?utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnxGZbu_UvWA0_qNLkWZ4JPfa8ZGZfvxwLdKK9QSKKZWT5v0kCHECwxQJf5fE_aem_LrbtXmMADKRsUVrQ3YjBtQ) CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA: Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making. Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠ (instagram.com/maddenzappa) STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY: We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ (instagram.com/datedifferentlyco) Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠ (https://www.speakpipe.com/datedifferentlydiaries) ✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Who has been a guest on We're Dating the Same Guy

Names identified in recent episode analyses. Showing up to five guests.

• Dr Lucky Sekhon
• Erika Ettin
• Trevor Hanson
• Lindsay Konchar
• Lindsey Konchar

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

7 ratings

Spotify

4.8 / 5

25 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 54 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

70

Social presence

94

YouTube

0

Engagement

51

Contact We're Dating the Same Guy

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.