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What I Wish I Knew After Pregnancy Loss

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by Sharna Southan

5.0(12 reviews)

142 episodes

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Podcast Overview

What I wish I knew beyond Pregnancy Loss: The Intersection of Fertility, Trauma & Purpose This podcast is a space for deep, honest conversations about fertility struggles, pregnancy loss, and the unseen layers of healing. Here, we explore the intersection of trauma, the nervous system, and emotional recovery—because healing is not just about moving forward; it’s about understanding how loss changes us and how we can reclaim our power. Whether you’re navigating life after loss, facing reproductive challenges, or seeking purpose in your own healing journey, this is where we go beyond the surface. Through expert insights, personal stories, and trauma-informed support, you’ll gain the tools to heal, grow, and step into a future that honours your past while embracing what’s next. Your story matters. Your healing matters. And there is more waiting for you beyond loss

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Recent Episodes

July 19, 2026

EP140: Six Losses, one foundation: Guest Catherine MacLennan on building the support she never dad

<h2>Ready to stop wondering what you're here to build?</h2> If something in this episode landed for you — if you recognised yourself in it, either as a woman who has lived through pregnancy loss or as a practitioner who has felt the gap in your own work — I want to invite you into Loss to Legacy. It's my four-week immersion for women ready to move from "maybe there's something I'm meant to do with this" to complete clarity on your story, your purpose, and what you're actually here to build. Not a business course. Not a certification. The step that comes before all of it. 📅 Starts 4th August 🤍 FIVE spots only DM me LEGACY on Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/reproductivelossleadership/">@reproductivelossleadership</a>   <h2>Now into the show.</h2> Catherine MacLennan has been through six pregnancy losses — three of them in the second trimester, all of them traumatic. When she went looking for support, she found almost none. So she built it herself: first the Pinks and Blues, a peer support community, and later the Vilomah Foundation, a UK charity offering free, ongoing support to anyone navigating pregnancy loss or pregnancy after loss. In this conversation, we talk about what rarely gets named out loud: the trauma that doesn't get validated, the identity that has to be rebuilt from scratch, the partners grieving in silence because they didn't "physically" go through it, and the grandparents mourning a grandchild they never met. We also get into Catherine's workplace training — what happens when a compassionate manager gets replaced by a tick-box HR process, and why the way an organisation responds to loss determines whether an employee comes back at all. This is a conversation about grief without a timeline, about validation, and about what it actually looks like to build the support system that should have existed all along. <h2 class="text-text-100 mt-3 -mb-1 text-[1.125rem] font-bold">In This Episode</h2> <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Catherine's story: six pregnancy losses and the search for support that wasn't there</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Why she started the Pinks and Blues, and later the Vilomah Foundation</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">How Vilomah supports people through Zoom — free sessions, no limit, from loss through pregnancy after loss</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The silence and shame around pregnancy loss, and why validation matters so much</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Naming trauma: what it meant for Catherine to hear a therapist call her experience traumatic</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Miscarriage awareness gaps — including that UK miscarriage is recognized up to 24 weeks</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The identity shift after loss: redefining who you are when everything gets stripped back</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Supporting partners: why their grief is valid even when they "didn't go through it physically"</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The ripple effect on grandparents and extended family</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Pregnancy loss in the workplace: compassionate management vs. tick-box HR</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The UK's new pregnancy loss bereavement leave law, and what it does (and doesn't yet) cover</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Why grief has no timeline — and what workplaces can do to make room for that</li> </ul> <h2 class="text-text-100 mt-3 -mb-1 text-[1.125rem] font-bold">About Catherine MacLennan</h2> Catherine MacLennan is the founder of the Vilomah Foundation, a UK-based pregnancy loss support and charity organization dedicated to walking alongside families through one of the most profound losses. As a specialist coach, Catherine offers personalised support to individuals and couples navigating pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss, and delivers workplace training on how organizations can support employees through pregnancy loss. <h2 class="text-text-100 mt-3 -mb-1 text-[1.125rem] font-bold">Connect with Catherine & the Vilomah Foundation</h2> LinkedIn <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-vilomah-foundation/**">https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-vilomah-foundation/</a> Instagram @thevilomahfoundation TikTok @the.vilomah.found Facebook <a href="https://www.facebook.com/share/1DQWzbthY4/?mibextid=wwXIfr**">https://www.facebook.com/share/1DQWzbthY4/?mibextid=wwXIfr</a> Website <a href="https://www.thevilomahfoundation.org.uk/">www.thevilomahfoundation.org.uk</a> Email <a href="mailto:hello@thevilomahfoundation.org.uk">hello@thevilomahfoundation.org.uk</a>   <h2 class="text-text-100 mt-3 -mb-1 text-[1.125rem] font-bold">A Note on This Episode</h2> This episode discusses pregnancy loss, miscarriage, and trauma in detail. Please take care while listening, and know that support is available if this brings anything up for you. If this episode was valuable to you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts — it helps more people find these conversations.

July 6, 2026

EP139: The silo effect: Why your doctors aren't seeing the whole picture - Guest Dr Marc Sklar

The preconception conversation that nobody is having — what pregnancy loss actually does to the body before the next pregnancy, and why standard care is missing the layer that matters most. Join my FREE live training Preconception Readiness After Loss, Wednesday 8th July, 9:30am AEST. Register <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/thereproductivelossleadershipnetwork">HERE</a>   Dr. Marc Sklar — natural fertility specialist, Doctor of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, Harvard Medical School Mind/Body Medical Institute-trained, Fellow of the American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine, creator of Fertility TV, co-founder of Rejuve Fertility, and founder of Reproductive Wellness Clinics in San Diego. In this episode: Sharna sits down with Dr. Marc Sklar for a conversation about what's actually missing from most fertility care — a whole-body, whole-person view. They dig into why so many couples are told their journey is "unexplained," and why that label often just means no one looked past their own specialty. Topics covered: <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Why digestive health shows up in an estimated 70–75% of the fertility cases Dr. Sklar sees</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The "silo problem" in modern medicine — why your gynecologist, endocrinologist, and therapist rarely talk to each other, and what gets missed in the gaps</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Sharna's own journey through an inflammatory bowel misdiagnosis, a missed miscarriage, and finding an integrative doctor who finally treated her as one connected system</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Why fear-based medicine keeps couples stuck on the "IVF hamster wheel"</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The age "light switch" myth — reframing fertility decline as a dimmer switch, not a deadline</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Nervous system regulation and why the body won't prioritize reproduction in survival mode</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Trusting intuition and body-based decision-making over purely logical, fear-driven choices</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Why creating space — not pushing harder — is often the actual path forward after loss</li> </ul> A key moment: Dr. Sklar's take on the "birthday deadline" belief many patients carry, and why treating fertility as a light switch instead of a dimmer does real harm. Connect with Dr. Mark Sklar: <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">YOUTUBE - <a href="http://bit.ly/thefertilityexpert">http://bit.ly/thefertilityexpert </a></li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">FACEBOOK - <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thefertilityexpert">https://www.facebook.com/thefertilityexpert </a></li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">INSTAGRAM - <a href="https://www.instagram.com/the_fertility_expert/">https://www.instagram.com/the_fertility_expert/ </a></li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">TikTok - <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fertility_expert">https://www.tiktok.com/@the_fertility_expert </a></li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">WEBSITE <a href="https://marcsklar.com/">https://marcsklar.com/</a> </li> </ul>

June 28, 2026

EP138: When your body fears what your heart wants: Tokophobia, Reproductive Anxiety Disorder — with Alexia Leachman

The preconception conversation that nobody is having — what pregnancy loss actually does to the body before the next pregnancy, and why standard care is missing the layer that matters most. Join my FREE live training Preconception Readiness After Loss, Wednesday 8th July, 9:30am AEST. Register <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/thereproductivelossleadershipnetwork">HERE</a>   Now for todays episode: Some women know they want to be a mother. And yet something inside them, something wordless, something physical, makes every step toward that feel impossible. Not because they don't want it. Because their nervous system has decided it isn't safe. That experience finally has a name. In this episode, I'm joined by Alexia Leachman, founder of Fearless Birthing, creator of the Head Trash Clearance Method, and the originator of Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD). After her own pregnancy loss and a journey to understand a fear she couldn't explain, Alexia has spent over a decade helping women and professionals understand what happens when the body fears what the heart wants most. This conversation goes deep, and it might give you language you've been searching for your whole life.   We cover: <ul> <li>What tokophobia actually is — and why so many women live with it without ever knowing it has a name</li> <li>The moment Alexia calls "the casse" — when a pregnancy test broke something open inside her that she couldn't explain</li> <li>How pregnancy loss intersects with tokophobia, including women who terminate wanted pregnancies because their nervous system cannot tolerate being pregnant</li> <li>Why the root of reproductive fear is often pre-verbal — rooted in your own birth, your mother's nervous system, and intergenerational trauma</li> <li>Reproductive Anxiety Disorder: why Alexia believes tokophobia is far bigger than one window of a woman's life, and how it shows up from puberty through perimenopause</li> <li>How unresolved reproductive fear affects fertility — and why the body won't allow conception when it doesn't feel safe to birth</li> <li>The Head Trash Clearance Method: why Alexia built it, how it works with the energy system to clear fear from the body, and why she believes in getting rid of anxiety rather than managing it</li> <li>What it looks like when two daughters are born into very different nervous system environments — and how Alexia sees that playing out now</li> <li>Why professionals — therapists, midwives, doulas, GPs — need to know this framework, and what screening for RAD could change for women everywhere</li> </ul>     Connect with Alexia <ul> <li><a href="http://www.head-trash.com">www.head-trash.com</a>  </li> <li><a href="http://www.fearless-birthing.com">www.fearless-birthing.com</a>  </li> <li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/alexia.leachman">https://www.facebook.com/alexia.leachman</a> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexialeachman/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexialeachman/ </a></li> <li>Podcasts: Fear Free Childbirth Head Trash & Healing Show Tik-Tokophobia</li> </ul>   Resources mentioned: <ul> <li>Alexia's main hub: headtrash.com</li> <li>Fearless Birthing: fearlessbirthing.com</li> <li>Personal site & private work: alexialeachman.com</li> <li>RAD white paper (free download): fearlessbirthing.com/whitepaper</li> <li>Free 1-hour professional training on tokophobia and RAD available via Fearless Birthing</li> <li>Books: Betrayed by Your Biology, Fearless Birthing, Clear Anxiety for Good</li> </ul>   If this episode resonated with you: If you're a woman who has felt confused, broken, or ashamed by your relationship with pregnancy, fertility, or birth — this episode was made for you. You are not broken. Your body has been trying to protect you. And there is a path through. If you're a practitioner who works with women in their reproductive years — this is the framework your training didn't give you. Understanding tokophobia and RAD could change everything about how you show up for your clients. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts if this conversation gave you something — it helps more women find their way here.

142 total episodes available

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What is What I Wish I Knew After Pregnancy Loss?: What I wish I knew beyond Pregnancy Loss: The Intersection of Fertility, Trauma & Purpose

This podcast is a space for deep, honest conversations about fertility struggles, pregnancy loss, and the unseen layers of healing. Here, we explore the intersection of trauma, the nervous system, and emotional recovery—because healing is not just about moving forward; it’s about understanding how loss changes us and how we can reclaim our power.

Whether you’re navigating life after loss, facing reproductive challenges, or seeking purpose in your own healing journey, this is where we go beyond the surface. Through expert insights, personal stories, and trauma-informed support, you’ll gain the tools to heal, grow, and step into a future that honours your past while embracing what’s next.

Your story matters. Your healing matters. And there is more waiting for you beyond loss
How often does this podcast release new episodes?: This podcast updates daily.
Where can I listen to this podcast?: This podcast is available on 10 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
Does this podcast accept guests?: Yes, this podcast regularly features guests.

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