Have you been hurt by the church but still long for a genuine relationship with God? Do you wrestle with religious guilt, fear-based teachings, or the wounds of spiritual abuse? You’re not alone. Welcome to When Church Hurts: Healing from Spiritual Abuse, a podcast for Christian women seeking freedom from controlling religious systems while holding onto their faith. Hosted by Melodi Kitzmiller, this show is a safe space to process your experiences, untangle toxic theology, and rediscover the true grace and love of God—without fear, shame, or legalism. Each episode explores topics such as: ✔️ How to recognize spiritual abuse and religious trauma ✔️ Healing from fear-based faith and guilt-driven obedience ✔️ Navigating family and friendships after leaving a controlling church ✔️ Rebuilding a faith that feels safe and life-giving ✔️ Practical steps to heal emotionally, mentally, and spiritually Whether you're deconstructing harmful beliefs, learning to set boundaries, or simply searching for peace, When Church Hurts will help you break free from religious oppression, rebuild your faith, and reclaim the peace God intended for you. 🎧 Subscribe now and begin your journey toward healing, wholeness, and unshakable faith.
When Church Hurts: Healing from Spiritual Manipulation. Breaking free, rebuilding faith, & reclaiming peace
Claim This Podcastby Melodi Kitzmiller M.A.
Podcast Overview
Have you been hurt by the church but still long for a genuine relationship with God? Do you wrestle with religious guilt, fear-based teachings, or the wounds of spiritual abuse? You’re not alone. Welcome to When Church Hurts: Healing from Spiritual Abuse, a podcast for Christian women seeking freedom from controlling religious systems while holding onto their faith. Hosted by Melodi Kitzmiller, this show is a safe space to process your experiences, untangle toxic theology, and rediscover the true grace and love of God—without fear, shame, or legalism. Each episode explores topics such as: ✔️ How to recognize spiritual abuse and religious trauma ✔️ Healing from fear-based faith and guilt-driven obedience ✔️ Navigating family and friendships after leaving a controlling church ✔️ Rebuilding a faith that feels safe and life-giving ✔️ Practical steps to heal emotionally, mentally, and spiritually Whether you're deconstructing harmful beliefs, learning to set boundaries, or simply searching for peace, When Church Hurts will help you break free from religious oppression, rebuild your faith, and reclaim the peace God intended for you. 🎧 Subscribe now and begin your journey toward healing, wholeness, and unshakable faith.
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Publishing Since
4/21/2025
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Recent Episodes
July 15, 2025
Fearless Deconstruction: Reclaiming Your Spiritual Foundation
Have you experienced church hurt or spiritual abuse? Do you feel a deep need to examine what you've been taught and rebuild your faith on a solid foundation? Welcome to Fearless Deconstruction, a podcast for those ready to courageously break free from fear-based faith, truly reconstruct their understanding of God, and reclaim their peace. Host Melodi Kitzmiller understands the journey. She shares her own powerful story of deconstructing spiritual narratives not just once, but twice – in her 20s and again in her 40s. Many shy away from "deconstruction," but Melodi argues it's an essential, even sacred, process, much like remodeling a house: you must tear down what's old to build something stronger, more sound, and more beautiful. In this podcast, we'll explore: Why deconstruction is not something to fear, but a vital step towards healing and growth. How to differentiate God's unchanging love from the pain inflicted by human institutions. The process of rebuilding a faith that is rooted in truth, not deception or rigid legalism. Encouragement and practical insights for grieving spiritual wounds and moving forward. If you're questioning your spiritual environment, seeking healing from past harm, or simply desire a deeper, more authentic connection with God, this is your space. Join Melodi as she guides you through the process of dismantling what no longer serves you and rebuilding a spiritual foundation that will last. Tune in to Fearless Deconstruction: Reclaiming Your Spiritual Foundation – because true faith is built on truth, not fear. Find Me: https://melodikitzmiller.com/ Partial Transcript: I often think about deconstruction. Many people fear it, but to reconstruct anything, we must deconstruct. Like remodeling a house, we must remove the old to build back something better, more sound, and of higher quality. Reflecting on my journey through spiritual hurt and harm, I see myself reconstructing after deconstruction at least twice. Recently, an experience at church reminded me of who I am now. My childhood was marked by severe trauma and abuse. By 20, I was deeply wounded. My father, a pastor, was my abuser. Church was a constant presence, blending with spiritual abuse. He would verbally abuse me while invoking God, telling me I wasn't measuring up. This led to deep spiritual abuse wounds and possibly drew me to an abusive church environment later, as its rigidity mirrored my rigid home life. This was my 'normal.' Often, individuals leaving abusive relationships return to similar patterns. When abuse is your 'normal,' it can provide a false sense of comfort. This is why in my 30s, my husband and I returned to a legalistic church; despite its issues, its rigidity felt familiar. Both in my early 20s and my 40s, leaving legalistic church required tearing down old spiritual elements and ideas about God, making space for new, healthier ones—just like remodeling a house. Paul speaks of 'putting off' and 'putting on' in the epistles. If you don't 'put on' something new, something else will fill the space. The hope is that what you 'put on' is better and of higher quality. Reflecting on my years in my 'legalistic church' or 'bubble world,' I acknowledge both good and harmful elements. While I learned the Bible extensively, I also absorbed skewed interpretations. Nevertheless, those years grounded me deeply in scripture. I'm always curious why some leave legalism or spiritually abusive environments, with some maintaining their faith and others walking away entirely. My dissertation research focuses on spiritual abuse. One study I read examined older women who healed from such environments, identifying the dispositions that helped them remain connected to God. A key finding was their ability to separate God from the people and spiritual leaders who had harmed them...
July 8, 2025
Is Your Pastor Misrepresenting God? How to Recognize Unhealthy Power Dynamics
Have you been told to "submit" without understanding the full context? In this episode of "When Church Hurts," host Melody Kitzmiller dives deep into the concept of power dynamics in faith leadership and marriage, exposing how biblical teachings on submission are often misrepresented. Learn to identify spiritual abuse, recognize when leaders are not representing God's heart, and discover how to protect yourself and reclaim your peace. We explore the often-overlooked responsibilities of leaders, God's true intentions for relationships, and why actions speak louder than words in evaluating faith leaders and spouses. Tune in to understand Ephesians 4 in a new light and break free from fear-based faith. If you are in an abusive environment, here are some ways to get help. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY: 1-800-787-3224 Live Chat: thehotline.org This is a great place to start because everyone who answers the phone or your chat will be equipped to offer you sound advice, and know the protective measures that can help you. Also, in every community, some individuals are obligated to help you. These include medical doctors, attorneys, and licensed therapists. A word of warning: while all of these professions are mandatory reporters of abuse, sometimes, if they are connected to the church, then you may find that they don't always do what they are mandated legally to do. For best results, always seek help from those who are not affiliated with the church. Every church has people who would help you well, but it is hard to discern who is who. In abusive situations, it is always better to be safe than sorry.
July 1, 2025
Delight is NOT a Sin? How Delight and Silent Retreats Have Helped My Healing
Have you been taught that joy is suspect and rest is lazy? Legalism can steal our delight, but God's heart for us is full of it. Join Melodi as she unpacks how rediscovering true rest and divine delight brought spiritual healing to her life, offering a roadmap for your own journey away from fear-based faith.
17 total episodes available
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- What is When Church Hurts: Healing from Spiritual Manipulation. Breaking free, rebuilding faith, & reclaiming peace?
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This podcast updates daily.
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This podcast is available on 4 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
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