Where can I listen to this podcast?

This podcast is available on 4 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.

When Love Hurts

Claim This Podcast

by Alison Epp, Jo Neill, Jill Cory, Karen McAndless-Davis

5.0(2 reviews)

11 episodes

Updated Daily

Accepts GuestsHas Sponsors

Podcast Overview

When Love Hurts is a podcast that exposes the reality about men’s abuse of women — what it is and how we can respond. Hosted by Alison Epp and Jo Neill and joined by Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis, authors of the influential book When Love Hurts, the show draws from their decades of frontline experience supporting women and educating communities. Together, we’ll break down the many myths and misconceptions that allow abuse to hide in plain sight. For example, the myth that abuse is limited to physical violence fails to include the full scope of abuse — emotional, verbal, financial, sexual and more. This myth prevents women and their supporters from recognizing the impact of all forms of abuse. We also explore the social and systemic forces that enable men’s abuse, and what true support and accountability look like. This podcast is for everyone, not just survivors or professionals. Abuse impacts us all, whether we see it or not. Jill and Karen offer clear insight, practical wisdom, and heartfelt compassion in each episode. Join us as we shine light into the darkness, build understanding, and work toward a world where love never hurts.

Language

🇺🇲

Publishing Since

8/27/2025

Visit Website View on Apple Podcasts RSS Feed

1 verified contact email on file for When Love Hurts

Pitch yourself as a guest, propose sponsorships, or reach out directly to the host.

See contact details

Recent Episodes

January 6, 2026

Episode 8: Understanding the healing journey

In this episode, we explore the healing journey for women who have experienced abuse. Jill and I share that in the first edition of the book, we didn’t yet have the chapter on healing. It wasn’t until we had supported women over longer periods – and listened deeply to what they told us – that we were able to understand this phase more fully. As we always do, we gathered women together and asked them to teach us about their healing. What they shared became the core elements of our current understanding.The women helped us develop what we now call the Figure Eight Model of Healing: an image of a figure eight where the lower loop represents grieving and the upper loop represents rebuilding. Healing moves back and forth between these two experiences. Grieving isn’t separate from healing – it is part of it. Women often feel energized and a sense of rebuilding at some points, and at other times find themselves pulled back into grief. The relative size of the loops shifts over time; sometimes rebuilding is expansive and full of new opportunities, and at other times grief takes up most of the emotional space. Rebuilding can be made up of tiny, meaningful steps – like stepping outside into the garden or offering oneself a moment of kindness. The figure eight is open at both the top and bottom, reminding us that healing is not an endless cycle and that there are ways out and forward.When women are more in the grieving part of the journey, the sense of loss can be overwhelming. Many describe feeling as though the floor has fallen out from under them—disoriented, alone, and unsure where to anchor themselves. They often grieve the hopes and dreams the relationship once held, including the vision they had for their children’s lives, their families, or the future they believed they were building. There can be disappointment, sadness, anger, and a sense of failure imposed by societal judgment. Women grieve the loss of time, opportunities, financial stability, and connections with people who may have sided with him or distanced themselves. They grieve the betrayal from family, faith communities, workplaces, and systems that should have supported them. Some describe simply enduring life rather than enjoying it, feeling low or depressed, or regretting choices made along the way. We emphasize that expressing grief is not “focusing on the negative” – it is necessary to tell the truth of one’s losses.Read the <a href="https://www.whenlovehurts.ca/2026/01/8-understanding-the-healing-journey/">rest of the show notes</a>. If this information has brought you to feeling like you need further support, here are a few available resources: <ul><li><a href="https://www.alisonepp.ca/">Alison Epp, counselling</a></li><li><a href="https://www.joneillcounselling.com/">Jo Neill, counselling</a></li><li>The When Love Hurts website lists their <a href="https://www.whenlovehurts.ca/groups/">active support groups</a> throughout Canada and provides many articles for further reading.</li><li>211 is an emergency mental health number in Canada that can be called at any time and they can connect you with available local resources. </li><li>If you still cannot find what you are looking for, please <a href="https://www.whenlovehurts.ca/contact/">connect with us by email</a>.</li></ul>

December 30, 2025

Episode 7: Mothering, post separation abuse, and the legal system

In this episode, we talk about how men’s abuse profoundly impacts mothering and how that abuse so often continues after separation through the legal system. We begin by reflecting on our own experiences of being mothered and mothering, grounding us in the reality that parenting is never meant to be done alone. From there, we explore how abusive men undermine women’s ability to parent authentically, forcing mothers into impossible double binds – being told they are too strict or too soft, never able to simply respond to their children’s needs without fear of retaliation or escalation.We discuss how men’s abuse drains the emotional and practical energy of the household, leaving women carrying the vast majority of parenting and domestic labor while also trying to protect their children from harm. We challenge the deeply ingrained belief that a man can be abusive to a woman and still be a “good father,” and we name how children are inevitably impacted when they witness control, intimidation, and disrespect toward their mother. We also speak to the ways children may imitate abusive behaviors, not because they are abusive themselves, but because they have been burdened with harmful attitudes and tactics learned from their father.Read the <a href="https://www.whenlovehurts.ca/2025/12/7-mothering-post-separation-abuse-legal-system/">rest of the show notes</a>. If this information has brought you to feeling like you need further support, here are a few available resources: <ul><li><a href="https://www.alisonepp.ca/">Alison Epp, counselling</a></li><li><a href="https://www.joneillcounselling.com/">Jo Neill, counselling</a></li><li>The When Love Hurts website lists their <a href="https://www.whenlovehurts.ca/groups/">active support groups</a> throughout Canada and provides many articles for further reading.</li><li>211 is an emergency mental health number in Canada that can be called at any time and they can connect you with available local resources. </li><li>If you still cannot find what you are looking for, please <a href="https://www.whenlovehurts.ca/contact/">connect with us by email</a>.</li></ul>

December 23, 2025

Episode 6: The harms of help

Services can repeat dynamics of abuse. In this episode we explore the concept of "harms of help" – the negative experiences women have with the very people and services meant to support them. This concept came from our research, where over 250 women were asked about what barriers they faced when seeking support. Many women described to us how the support they sought through services and professionals paradoxically added to initial harms of the abuse, rather than helped. Women observed that the treatment by service providers can mirror the control dynamics of their abusive partner. For example, women described harmful experiences with:<ul><li>Courts that favor fathers regardless of his violence</li><li>Police who label situations as “mutual conflict.”</li><li>Shelters with rules that exclude vulnerable women.</li><li>Child welfare systems that dismiss disclosures and blame mothers.</li><li>Healthcare providers who offer judgment instead of support</li><li>Helpers that favour or take the side of the abusive man and blame women.</li><li>Counselors who fail to recognize abuse or focus on “relationship skills” instead of safety.</li></ul>When these responses ignore the abuse, it embolden the abusive partner, compounds the harms of the abuse, and increases women’s isolation.Read the <a href="https://www.whenlovehurts.ca/2025/12/6-harms-of-help/">rest of the show notes, here</a>. For helpers and professionals, here's a reminder to anyone supporting women:<ul><li>Recognize the power you hold.</li><li>Avoid replicating dynamics of control.</li><li>Listen more than you speak.</li><li>Believe women.</li><li>Keep women in control of their own process.</li><li>Understand that systems can create vulnerability.</li></ul>Closing notes<ul><li>For more information, visit <a href="https://www.whenlovehurts.ca">whenlovehurts.ca</a>. </li><li>Listeners are invited to join the #WLHCommunity and help spread the message.</li><li>The hosts also thank <a href="https://mcc.org/">MCC Canada</a> for supporting Season 1 and welcome sponsors for future seasons.</li></ul>

11 total episodes available

Deep-dive analytics for When Love Hurts

Frequently asked questions

Have a different question and can't find the answer you're looking for? Reach out to our support team by sending us an email and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

What is When Love Hurts?: When Love Hurts is a podcast that exposes the reality about men’s abuse of women — what it is and how we can respond. Hosted by Alison Epp and Jo Neill and joined by Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis, authors of the influential book When Love Hurts, the show draws from their decades of frontline experience supporting women and educating communities.

Together, we’ll break down the many myths and misconceptions that allow abuse to hide in plain sight. For example, the myth that abuse is limited to physical violence fails to include the full scope of abuse — emotional, verbal, financial, sexual and more. This myth prevents women and their supporters from recognizing the impact of all forms of abuse. We also explore the social and systemic forces that enable men’s abuse, and what true support and accountability look like.

This podcast is for everyone, not just survivors or professionals. Abuse impacts us all, whether we see it or not. Jill and Karen offer clear insight, practical wisdom, and heartfelt compassion in each episode. Join us as we shine light into the darkness, build understanding, and work toward a world where love never hurts.
How often does this podcast release new episodes?: This podcast updates daily.
Where can I listen to this podcast?: This podcast is available on 4 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
Does this podcast accept guests?: Information about guest appearances is not available.

Legal Disclaimer

Pod Engine is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or officially connected with any of the podcasts displayed on this platform. We operate independently as a podcast discovery and analytics service.

All podcast artwork, thumbnails, and content displayed on this page are the property of their respective owners and are protected by applicable copyright laws. This includes, but is not limited to, podcast cover art, episode artwork, show descriptions, episode titles, transcripts, audio snippets, and any other content originating from the podcast creators or their licensors.

We display this content under fair use principles and/or implied license for the purpose of podcast discovery, information, and commentary. We make no claim of ownership over any podcast content, artwork, or related materials shown on this platform. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are the property of their respective owners.

While we strive to ensure all content usage is properly authorized, if you are a rights holder and believe your content is being used inappropriately or without proper authorization, please contact us immediately at hey@podengine.ai for prompt review and appropriate action, which may include content removal or proper attribution.

By accessing and using this platform, you acknowledge and agree to respect all applicable copyright laws and intellectual property rights of content owners. Any unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or commercial use of the content displayed on this platform is strictly prohibited.