After we divorced, we started a blog about co-parenting to learn how to work together until our kids were grown. And now that they are, and the world is so busy disrupting and disavowing what we thought we were working for, we're looking to our community to help us all keep up.
whentheflamesgoup.substack.com (https://whentheflamesgoup.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)
After a few weeks off, we’re back behind the mics to catch up and pitch topics for some upcoming episodes. It’s been a busy time (https://www.wgbh.org/news/politics/2025-04-05/large-crowd-converges-on-boston-common-for-hands-off-protest), and we’ve had a lot of opportunity to talk with friends about retirement (what even is that anymore?), parents, kids—and that big spicy meatball, health. This includes diagnostic tools and preventative diets for Alzheimer’s disease, which Magda researches passionately because it runs in her family. How helpful is a low-carb, ketogenic diet? Should you test for the APOE4 gene (https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/study-reveals-how-apoe4-gene-may-increase-risk-dementia)? Does Dr. Dale Bredeson (https://www.apollohealthco.com/dr-bredesen/) know what he’s talking about?
Another surrealistic parenting moment is the first time your adult child comes to you for financial advice. How do you preach faith in American investments when your kid’s monetary touchpoints are The Great Recession and The Tyrannical Tariff Toddler? We’ve got a bit longer perspective, but we also know that “past performance is no guarantee of future results.” So while we’re both hunting around in the dark, at least our flashlight burns a little bit brighter.
Thanks for listening to When the Flames Go Up! We’re a listener-supported enterprise, so please consider a paid subscription to help us continue our writing and podcasting.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a true WTFGU chat without a couple “disgusted huffs” to lighten the mood. You can learn a lot about Magda’s lens on life from her interpretation of that George Bailey movie they show every Christmas. And though Doug might be a fan of The Four Seasons (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-LdyHyH4MA), after four months of mostly relentless cold he’d settle for two.
Other links:
* Tina Fey’s 2025 reboot of The Four Seasons (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-lhoF_Y-WY) arrives May 1 …
* … and don’t confuse the movie with Same Time, Next Year (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3U2LbkkkPM)
* The late, lamented Bike & Build program (https://bikeandbuild.org/)
* Reversing Alzheimer’s (https://www.harpercollins.com/products/reversing-alzheimers-heather-sandison?variant=41108969914402) by Heather Sandison
* Our discussion about gut health with Maya Gangadharan:
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit whentheflamesgoup.substack.com (https://whentheflamesgoup.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)
6 Mar 2025
Episode 70: Where's the Gray Mafia?
We all knew of the American Association of Retired Persons when we were kids, right? It was that super powerful interest group (https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/aarp-9781440834103/) that got senior citizens all those cool discounts. It started before Medicare in 1958 as a way to secure health insurance for 65-year-olds (a lot of them teachers) who had been forced to retire, in order to keep them out of poverty. But now that it’s 2025 and no one can retire, what purpose to they serve?
AARP says it serves 38 million members (https://www.aarp.org/about-aarp/), but what exactly does it do for them? It says it focuses on 50-year-olds and up, but you can join whenever you want. And its core demographic still seems a lot older than us midlifers, who have different health concerns, still worry about work and ageism, have elderly parents of our own, etc. Where’s the Not-Quite-As-Gray Mafia advocacy for us?
We don’t need to be sold crappy medigap insurance from United Healthcare, but we do want to know more about how to navigate Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security (before they evaporate, anyway). We want to prepare against medical bankruptcy, become experts in home ownership, and understand estate law.
Basically, we want a useful resource that makes us feel smarter for having read it, and which reminds us that we’re not alone in our ignorance and frustration.
Thanks for listening to When the Flames Go Up! We’re a listener-supported enterprise, so please consider a paid subscription to help us continue our writing and podcasting.
We’re interested in how the American Association of Never Gonna Retire Persons might look, and we’ll be revisiting this often. What resources matter most to you? How accessible is the information you have, and what reliable source(s) did you learn it from? And what questions are more important than Al Pacino’s Keys to Longevity?
Other links:
* ProPublica’s analysis of AARP’s balance sheet (https://projects.propublica.org/nonprofits/organizations/951985500)
* ICYMI: All you need to know about pączki (https://www.travelbutlercounty.com/blog/post/paczki-central-pastry).
* Paul Lynde is a national damn treasure (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebBh2pjpIXc).
* Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s podcast, Wiser Than Me (https://lemonadamedia.com/show/wiser-than-me-with-julia-louis-dreyfus/)
* Drinking alcohol raises your risk of getting several kinds of cancer (https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/risk-factors/alcohol.html)
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit whentheflamesgoup.substack.com (https://whentheflamesgoup.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)
20 Feb 2025
Episode 69: Navigating college when the fog gets thick
Kimberly Shepherd (https://www.kimberlyshepherd.com/) coaches young adults (and their parents) that college is just one of many paths for a high school graduate to take. And that path often seems impassable—whether you’re applying, choosing a major, or sussing out a potential career.
It’s also important to understand that neurodiversity, learning disability, and emotional issues have nothing to do with intelligence, so it’s not uncommon for the most gifted people to struggle with executive function. When coping mechanisms stop working, it’s time to acknowledge your impediments and pursue courses of action that are less exotic than you might think.
Building on her previous careers in social work, crisis intervention, and college admissions, Kimberly has spent 14 years helping young adults overcome their blocks and uncertainty. When a client is coping with unreasonable expectations, self-doubt, and the nefarious practices of schools looking to juice their rejection stats, Kimberly’s first priority is to offer up adult help without an agenda.
Thanks for listening to When the Flames Go Up! We’re a listener-supported enterprise, so please consider a paid subscription to help us continue our writing and podcasting.
We also talk about the symbiosis between OCD and ADHD, the debatable appeal of “unborscht,” and the surprising abundance of fish hatchery biologists.
Other links:
* Follow Kimberly on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/navigator_kimberly/), Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/collegeguidance), and LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/ksaeducationalconsulting/).
* “I’m Winston Wolf. I solve problems (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN12-hJI7ws).”
* Doechii’s tiny desk concert (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-91vymvIH0c)
* Robin Williams’s father: “Have a back-up profession like welding (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6Egi5V_jNU).”
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit whentheflamesgoup.substack.com (https://whentheflamesgoup.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
7 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
3 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 47 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
70
Social presence
0
YouTube
0
Engagement
60
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