Two sisters journey of being adult caregivers. Enduring twists, turns, tears and laughter while on the search for "the adult" that's supposed to take care of "this stuff".
Mr. Lloyd passed away on Friday, October 9th. We were with him, and his family got to say their goodbyes. Now he’s hanging out with Mom again, and that makes our hearts a little bit happy.
Season 2 of Where’s the Adult? is on hold while we get our lives together. We will be back.
One ask: no platitudes, please. Drop a comment with a story about Mr. Lloyd, something you learned about him from Season 1, or real advice that got you through a loss.
Thank you for your prayers, support, and understanding. 💜
Darah & Alana
16 Sept 2026
You Don't Have to Have All the Answers | Caregiver Takeaway & Season 1 Wrap
Caregivers, you don't have to have all the answers.
Sometimes being the adult just means asking questions, calling your crew, and making the best decision you can with what you know at the time.
And loving someone through a situation you can't fix? That's deep love.
This takeaway also wraps up Season 1! Darah and Alana thank everyone who listened, shared, commented, and checked in during the hiatus.
They also share what's coming in Season 2: more adults, more resources, more laughter (and probably some tears). New merch is here too, and a website is on the way where you can join the caregiver union. The dues are high, but the snacks are good.
We'll see you at the end of October. Happy caregiving! 🧡
Hear more about Lloyd in our two-part Season 1 finale:
🎧 Part 1 | Our Dad Before Alzheimer's: The Man Behind the Diagnosis: https://youtu.be/Y61jX2NAk7c (https://youtu.be/Y61jX2NAk7c)
🎧 Part 2 | Our Dad After Alzheimer's: Love, Loss & Lloyd's Great Escapes: https://youtu.be/gI9D8KvUwHQ (https://youtu.be/gI9D8KvUwHQ)
🎥 Watch our tribute montage | Lloyd: The Man, the Myth, the Legend: https://youtu.be/XYRCR8K2Vh0 (https://youtu.be/XYRCR8K2Vh0)
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16 Sept 2026
Our Dad After Alzheimer's: Love, Loss & Lloyd's Great Escapes | Part 2
Love doesn't stop when memory does.
In Part 2 of our Season 1 finale, we're getting real about life with Lloyd after Alzheimer's: the diagnosis, the decline, and what it means to keep showing up for someone who doesn't always know you're there.
Alana and Darah share the moment they had to become the parents, Lloyd's refusal to believe he has Alzheimer's, the hardest caregiving memories, and the classic Lloyd antics that prove he's still in there, from cookie heists to escape attempts.
Then they reflect on what they wish they'd known sooner, what caregiving has taught them, and how they hope Lloyd will be remembered: Jesus, sweets, kindness, and a lifelong habit of helping.
Alzheimer's may have changed Lloyd, but it hasn't changed how much he is loved.
🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube, including a special video montage celebrating Lloyd: https://youtu.be/XYRCR8K2Vh0 (https://youtu.be/gI9D8KvUwHQ)
💜 Don't miss our caregiver takeaway and Season 1 wrap-up: https://youtu.be/xKZhbuZsEOw (https://youtu.be/xKZhbuZsEOw)
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2 Sept 2026
Our Dad Before Alzheimer’s: The Man Behind the Diagnosis | Part 1
Everyone deserves to be known for more than their diagnosis.
In Part 1 of our Season 1 finale, we’re celebrating Lloyd, the man, the myth, the legend, and the person he was long before Alzheimer’s became part of his story.
Alana and Darah share childhood memories, his love for their mother Lydia, his faith, humor, legendary stories, and lifelong habit of helping others. Then they look back at the early signs that something was changing and the moments that made their family realize something was seriously wrong.
Alzheimer’s may be part of Lloyd’s story, but it is not the whole story.
19 Aug 2026
Trauma Shield, Part 2: The Middle Ground of Caregiver Anxiety
Alana and Darah are back for Part 2 of the Trauma Shield, talking caregiver anxiety, anticipatory grief, hypervigilance, guilt, and the hard truth that the people we love aren’t always perfect.
Some laughs, some tears, and a real conversation about learning to lower the shield.
6 Aug 2026
Caregiver Trauma: Hypervigilance, Health Anxiety & Self-Care
Darah and Alana unpack the “caregiver trauma shield” built through years of caring for aging parents.
They share real talk about caregiver trauma, hypervigilance, health anxiety, ER visits, and learning to prioritize self-care after a crisis.
Keywords: caregiver trauma, caregiver burnout, hypervigilance, health anxiety, aging parents, caregiver mental health, caregiver self-care
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22 Jul 2026
Grief, Hospice, and Holding It Together as a Caregiver
Alana and Darah get candid about Alzheimer's caregiving, grief, self-care, and grace: the milestones Lloyd can't hold onto, the slow losses nobody else sees, and the toll of caring for an aging parent when nobody's watching.
While sharing an update on Lloyd's hospice care, they talk about anticipatory grief, dementia caregiver burnout, and why self-care for caregivers must be intentional.
It takes a written plan, a caregiver support system that knows your warning signs, and the understanding that you must put your mask on first.
You don't have to wait for the loss to start grieving, and you don't have to wait until you're drowning to ask for help.
Resources:
WRAP for Caregivers: Wellness Recovery Action Plan — https://www.wellnessrecoveryactionplan.com/wrap-taking-care-of-the-caregiver/ (https://www.wellnessrecoveryactionplan.com/wrap-taking-care-of-the-caregiver/)
9 Jul 2026
Burnout isn't a badge of honor. What happens when the caregiver breaks down?
Nobody wants to talk about caregiver burnout but we're talking about it.
After an unexpected hiatus, Alana and Darah share the health scare that forced them to slow down, the warning signs they almost missed, and the lessons they learned about putting themselves first.
Because you can't pour from an empty cup and burnout doesn't have to be the end of your story.
9 Apr 2026
The H Word: Hospice, Palliative Care & Real Talk with Dr. Lyn Weinberg
Nobody wants to say it, but we're saying it. Lloyd's doctor, Dr. Lyn Weinberg, joins Alana and Darah to break down the difference between hospice and palliative care, when to ask for it, and why choosing hospice isn't giving up; it might actually be the most loving decision you can make. Plus, what families say to loved ones with dementia that isn't helping, the clinical language that needs to go, and Lloyd unlocking a memory from Saigon that nobody saw coming.
12 Feb 2026
It Shouldn't Be This Hard: Navigating Dementia Care with Dr Lyn Weinberg
Part 2 with Dr. Lyn Weinberg, geriatrician at Allegheny Health Network.
When someone gets diagnosed with cancer, they're surrounded by resources. Dementia? "Here's your prescription, good luck."
Dr. Weinberg gets it because she's fighting to change it. She shares why families are left to figure this out alone, what happened during Darah and Alana's two-day hospital vigil with their dad, and the programs proving that dementia care doesn't have to be this hard.
This is about more than medical terms. It's about families who deserve better.
About Dr. Lyn Weinberg
Dr. Lyn Weinberg has been a geriatrician with Allegheny Health Network since 2013 and is now director of the geriatrics division for AHN Primary Care Institute. She specializes in Geriatric Medicine and Internal Medicine, and is affiliated with West Penn Hospital, Allegheny General Hospital, Forbes Hospital, and Temple University Hospital.
Ask a Doc: Dementia and Caregiving (https://www.highmarkhealth.org/blog/care/Ask-a-Doc-Dementia-and-Caregiving.shtml)
Department of Aging
Pennsylvania Department of Aging: pa.gov/agencies/aging (http://pa.gov/agencies/aging)
Local Resources: pa.gov/agencies/aging/local-resources (http://pa.gov/agencies/aging/local-resources)
Alzheimer's Association
Website: alz.org (http://alz.org)
24/7 Helpline: 800.272.3900
Programs & Initiatives
Aging Brain Care Program | AHN (https://www.healthyagingchallenge.org/awardees/dementia-super-network-)
Dr. Malaz Boustani (https://medicine.iu.edu/faculty/4975/boustani-malaz)
GUIDE Model (Medicare) (https://www.cms.gov/priorities/innovation/innovation-models/guide)
Hospital Elder Life Program (HELP) (https://help.agscocare.org/)
AHN HELP Program Recognition (https://www.prweb.com/releases/allegheny-health-network-program-for-older-adults-receives-top-designation-from-american-geriatrics-society-302009131.html)
28 Jan 2026
She Answered and Changed Everything: Meeting Dr. Lyn Weinberg (Part 1)
This is the woman who answered when we didn't know who else to call. Dr. Lyn Weinberg—Lloyd's gerontologist, the reason we got to speak at the AHN Aging Brain Caregiver Conference, and honestly, one of the most important people in our caregiving journey.
We found her by accident. We were desperate, calling doctors who no longer existed, until someone at AHN listened to us fall apart on the phone and connected us to Dr. Weinberg. And from that first appointment, we knew: this is what good care looks like.
In Part 1 of 3 conversation, Dr. Weinberg gets real about why she chose geriatrics (spoiler: it started with painting nails in nursing homes as a kid), why there are only a handful of geriatricians for an entire region of aging adults, and what happens when you're a doctor who feels everything your patients' families are going through because you know it's coming for you too. She also shares how she takes care of herself so she can keep showing up for families like ours, and offers advice for caregivers who are struggling to find the specialized care their loved ones need.
In Part 2 we dive into the programs and resources Dr. Weinberg is championing some national, some right here in Pittsburgh for people living with dementia and Alzheimer's. If you've ever felt lost in the healthcare system, this episode is for you.
14 Jan 2026
New Year, Same You (Just Polished Up!)
Alana and Darah are ditching "new year, new you" and getting real about setting goals that actually work when you're a caregiver. From derailed travel dreams to delayed doctor appointments, they're sharing how caregiving impacts your plans and what to do about it.
31 Dec 2025
Episode 3.2 Pastor Melanie's Journey Through Faith, ALS & the Sacred Work of Caregiving
In this continuation with Pastor Melanie Davis, we dive deeper into the realities of walking alongside family members through ALS diagnoses.
Melanie shares how her faith has been both tested and strengthened through caregiving, the tension between her pastoral calling and family care demands, and finding grace in the hardest moments. This episode is for anyone torn between their calling and caregiving responsibilities, or searching for hope in impossible circumstances
17 Dec 2025
Grief, Caregiving, and Joy: Navigating the Holidays
Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of grief, death, and loss that may be difficult for some listeners. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 | Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
The holidays can be the hardest time for caregivers and those grieving loved ones. Darah and Alana are joined by their cousin, Pastor Melanie, who shares how she honors her parents through Reese's Cup ornaments, generous giving, and creating joy even in hospital rooms.
This honest conversation explores the balance of acknowledging grief while still celebrating, from crying while making potatoes on Christmas Eve to having seafood boils instead of traditional dinners. You'll hear about singing Christmas carols at funerals, celebrating holidays early when time is limited, and why it's okay to say "I can't do it this year."
For caregivers and anyone navigating loss during the holidays, this episode reminds us that joy and sorrow can coexist, and the best way to honor those we've lost is to keep living.
Resources:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357
3 Dec 2025
Episode 3.1 Pastor Melanie's Journey Through Faith, ALS & the Sacred Work of Caregiving
Alana and Darah sit down with their cousin Pastor Melanie Davis to discuss her lifelong caregiving journey, from caring for their grandmother as a teenager to walking three family members through genetic ALS, including her own mother.
Melanie shares the emotional reality of fatal diagnoses, the battle between faith and fear, and why she considers eulogizing both her parents within three months of each other the greatest honor of her life. A powerful conversation about finding God in grief and the sacred work of being present for those we love.
This is part 1 of 2
Trigger Warning: Terminal illness, death, and grief.
19 Nov 2025
Episode 2: Lloyd - When Alzheimer's Takes Your Dad
In this raw and emotional episode, Darah and Alana share the painful reality of watching their father Lloyd transform from a fun-loving, hug-giving dad into someone they barely recognize. They discuss the anxiety, guilt, and grief of caregiving when dementia changes everything from inappropriate behaviors to forgotten graduations. This episode covers the complicated feelings of visiting a parent who sometimes calls you the wrong name, the financial strain of caregiving, and why they still try to create joyful moments despite it all.
A necessary conversation for anyone caring for someone with Alzheimer's or dementia tissue warning advised.
Topics: Alzheimer's caregiving, dementia, parental care, caregiver guilt, behavioral changes, memory care facilities
5 Nov 2025
Episode 1 Part 2
Part
29 Oct 2025
Episode 1: The Origin Story
Episode 1: Where's the Adult? - Our Origin Story
When do you stop being the kid and become the grownup? For sisters Darah and Alayna, that moment came fast and hard in 2016 grandma's brain bleed, MS diagnosis, parents spiraling, and a whole lot of "wait, we're in charge now?"
This is the story of two Pittsburgh sisters navigating caregiving, chronic illness, and grief while barely keeping their own heads above water. It's messy. It's real. And if you've ever looked around during a crisis thinking "where's the adult?" only to realize it's you this one's for you.
Explicit for mature themes and occasional profanity
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