Why aren’t we talking about this

About Why aren’t we talking about this

New episodes every Thursday. www.whyarentwetalkingaboutthis.com (https://www.whyarentwetalkingaboutthis.com/) Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should—big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, sex and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human. This is for midlife women who: Want more from life but worry that wanting something different makes them ungrateful. Recognise burnout in women, yet find it difficult to stop being the capable one everyone relies on. Struggle with people pleasing and setting boundaries, especially when saying what they need might disappoint someone. Are considering a midlife career change, questioning who they’ve become or working out what they actually want. Are navigating identity after motherhood and wondering where their own needs fit. Want to understand sex in long-term relationships and find the words to talk about changing desire. Want to know how to have difficult conversations, ask uncomfortable questions or what to say to someone who is grieving, even when they’re scared of getting it wrong. Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school? My guests and I make room for what we’re still figuring out, helping you understand yourself and others a little better and find the words for what you’re feeling—without worrying that it makes you selfish, ungrateful or a terrible person. Especially when everyone else seems to have their sh*t figured out. Follow the show for a new conversation every Thursday.

Publisher

Carly Osman-Holme

Category

education

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

5 Nov 2025

Latest episode

29 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

30 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   29 Oct 2026

   Hyper-independence: When “I can manage” becomes “I don’t need anyone” | I’ve been thinking about this…

   Hyper-independence can show up in the everyday habit of doing everything yourself. Why does asking for help feel so uncomfortable when you’re happy to offer it? Since my conversation with Rachel Mason, I’ve been thinking about my own determination to figure everything out. I’m resourceful, I believe everything is figureoutable, and I will happily disappear into endless YouTube tutorials to find an answer. Yet asking someone who has already done it, “How did you get there?” often doesn’t occur to me. In this short episode of I’ve Been Thinking About This…, I explore the gap between being capable of doing something alone and letting someone help. I don’t have a neatly packaged explanation for my own behaviour, but I am curious about why I’m so willing to offer support and so reluctant to ask for it. If you recognise that contradiction, this is a few minutes to consider it with me. In this reflection How doing everything yourself becomes the default, even when someone else could help. Believing that success leaves clues, while still trying to work it all out alone. Being the first to offer a hand and struggling to ask for one. Whether accepting support has to change how we see our own capability. Hear the conversation that started this In my full conversation with Rachel Mason, founder of Rayse Community, we explore saying “I’m fine”, worrying about being a burden and learning to receive support through difficult health experiences. Hear Rachel’s account of the hospital appointment that opens this reflection, alongside the wider conversation about recognising and expressing what we need. Spotify: Apple: About the show Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should — big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, sex and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human. Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school? It’s for midlife women who want to make sense of what they’re feeling, work out what they want and say what they need, without feeling selfish, ungrateful or like a terrible person. Especially when everyone else seems to have their sh*t figured out. From money and ambition to motherhood, grief, relationships and changing identity, these conversations can help you understand yourself a little better or know how to be there for someone else. Follow the show for a new conversation every Thursday. Topics: Podcast for midlife women, understanding yourself, relationships, self-trust, hyper-independence, asking for help, accepting support, doing everything yourself. Explore the podcast website

2. 

   29 Oct 2026

   Why do I say I’m fine when I’m not? Asking for Help | Rachel Mason

   Asking for help can feel uncomfortable when you’re used to saying “I’m fine”. What happens when you need support but worry about being a burden? Rachel Mason took herself to her hysterectomy on the train. She also stopped attending the therapy she’d been offered because she felt someone else needed it more. In this conversation, she talks about facing a difficult diagnosis, surgical menopause at 30 and how hard it could be to recognise and say what she needed, even with people around her who loved her. Rachel is the founder of Rayse, a community connecting people through shared genealogical health experiences. We explore the difference between having people around and feeling understood, the discomfort of questioning a doctor and what happened when her partner offered to accompany her to a scan she would normally attend alone. If you recognise the instinct to keep managing, or want to understand someone who rarely asks for anything, there is plenty here to consider. Listen to the full conversation if you’ve ever said “I’m fine” because explaining what was really happening felt harder. What’s inside Why saying “I’m fine” can feel easier than opening up another thing to deal with. Rachel’s experience of seeking further medical opinions while worrying about being difficult. Turning down support because someone else might need it more. The unfamiliar experience of letting someone be there when you’re used to managing alone. Finding people who understand your experience, even when you already have loving friends and family. Guest and resources Explore Rachel’s Rayse Community, where people connect through shared health experiences. Read NHS information about recovery after a hysterectomy, including emotional effects and support. Listen next Why aren't we talking about this: Sex and what we want My conversation with Ally Iseman explores another place where saying what we want can feel uncomfortable. Spotify Apple About the show: Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should — big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, sex and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human. Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school? It’s for midlife women who want to make sense of what they’re feeling, work out what they want and say what they need, without feeling selfish, ungrateful or like a terrible person. Especially when everyone else seems to have their sh*t figured out. From money and ambition to motherhood, grief, relationships and changing identity, these conversations can help you understand yourself a little better or know how to be there for someone else. Follow the show for a new conversation every Thursday. Topics: Podcast for midlife women, understanding yourself, relationships, women’s health, asking for help, feeling like a burden, accepting support, surgical menopause. Explore the podcast website

3. 

   22 Oct 2026

   Why aren't we talking about this? Is this it?

   This is a live recording of ‘Why aren’t we talking about this’ recorded at Home, Life & You, at the ExCel in London. In this episode recorded with Nadia Patel, we're exploring a question that I suspect quite a few of us have asked ourselves at some point: Is this it? You know that feeling when you look around at your life, and on paper everything is pretty good. You've got so much of what you thought you wanted, but there's still this little voice asking, is this really it? Is this what the rest of my life is going to look like? Then, almost immediately you feel guilty for even thinking it. We’re getting into what do we actually want? Why do we feel so bloody uncomfortable admitting it? And what's really stopping us going after it? Once again a huge thank you for the team at Home, Life & You for allowing space for this conversation to happen.You can access a copy of Nadia's e-book 'breaking the good girl code' here https://www.nadiapatelcoaching.com/ —— Why Aren’t We Talking About This? is a series of honest conversations about the stuff we rarely discuss but probably should - big feelings, weird thoughts, life, death, sex and all the messy, beautiful parts of being human. Hosted by me, Carly Osman-Holme, on a quest to dodge a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve reached that point in life where I’m asking the big questions: How did I get here? What do I actually want? And why didn’t they teach us any of this in school?

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