Exploring the behaviours that shape our relationships, with ourselves and with others 💬
‘Why Do I…?’ is a podcast about the behaviours and patterns that show up in our relationships, and what happens when we start to notice them.
Hosted by Tom Stroud, the series follows on from Why Do Men, which explored male behaviour in dating and relationships. This season broadens the lens, moving away from expert advice around specific behaviours like ghosting and jealousy towards lived experience across all kinds of relationships.
Why Do We Stay in Relationships That Are Killing Us? Tom's Reflection
We're told staying is loyalty. So we hold on, hoping things will improve.
Tell ourselves "it's not that bad." But after my full conversation with Dr. Amir Levine, I've been reflecting on something deeper…
Insecure relationships age you nine months per person, on a cellular level. That's not theory. That's your body keeping score.
Maybe discomfort isn't the cost of commitment. Maybe it's a warning.
Maybe asking for what you need isn't weakness. Maybe it's the only thing that saves you.
If leaving scares you… ask whose voice is telling you to stay.
Connect With Us 👇
Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en)
Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en)
Grab Amir's new book Secure here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secure-Attachment-Transform-Relationships-bestselling/dp/1529976162 (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secure-Attachment-Transform-Relationships-bestselling/dp/1529976162)
Take the attachment quiz at AmirLevineMD.com (AmirLevineMD.com)
💎 Part of the I.A.M Podcasts roster (I.A.M Podcasts roster)
#WhyDoI #AttachmentTheory #AmirLevine
4 May 2026
Why Do I Feel So Insecure In My Relationships...? Dr. Amir Levine
Dr. Amir Levine is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and bestselling author of Attached - the book that became the internet's go-to guide for understanding relationships. His new book Secure picks up where it left off.
We're told some of us are just "clingy."
Some of us are just "distant."
That's who we are.
So we blame ourselves and keep repeating the same patterns. If a missed text can ruin your day… If you pull away the second someone gets close… If you keep ending up in the same kind of relationship…This episode is for you.
EPISODE CHAPTERS:
00:00 – How Insecure Relationships Age You
06:17 – The Anxious-Avoidant Trap
12:32 – Why Avoidants Get a Bad Rep
21:27 – Where Attachment Styles Really Come From
28:51 – The CARP Method for Dating
34:14 – Wall Tennis With Love
43:10 – Gut Instinct vs. Anxious Spiral
52:57 – One Piece of Advice for Each Attachment Style
Connect With Us 👇
Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en)
Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en)
Liv: https://www.instagram.com/livnevill/?hl=en-gb (https://www.instagram.com/livnevill/?hl=en-gb)
Grab Amir's new book Secure here (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secure-Attachment-Transform-Relationships-bestselling/dp/1529976162)
Take the attachment quiz at AmirLevineMD.com (AmirLevineMD.com)
💎 Part of the I.A.M Podcasts (https://iampodcasts.io/) roster
#WhyDoI #AttachmentTheory #AmirLevine
27 Apr 2026
Tom's Reflection: Why Do We Fear Getting Older?
We’re told getting older means losing value.
So we chase youth like it can save us.
Tell ourselves we’re “still young.”
But after my full conversation with Poorna Bell, I’ve been reflecting on something deeper…
Aging isn’t the problem.
The story we’ve been sold about aging is.
Because some people hit 40, 50, 60…
and become more themselves than ever.
More certain. More grounded.
Less interested in performing for everyone else.
Fear says your best years are behind you.
But often your best years begin when you stop trying to prove anything.
Maybe wrinkles aren’t decline. Maybe they’re evidence.
Maybe slowing down isn’t failure. Maybe it’s wisdom replacing urgency.
And maybe the people most afraid of aging,
are the ones who never learned how to live now.
If getting older scares you…
ask whose voice that really is.
Because it might not be yours.
OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en)Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en (https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en)
💎 This Show Is Part Of The I.A.M Podcasts roster
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
2 ratings
Spotify
4.9 / 5
73 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 28 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
35
Social presence
0
YouTube
0
Engagement
51
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