10 Sept 2026
Who Am I After Divorce? Why Willpower Can't Rebuild Your Identity | Dr. Lisha Antiqua
What if the goal was never to recover from your divorce, but to finally become the woman all those roles never gave you room to be?
In this episode of Wings of a Phoenix, host Trena Briscoe Matthews sits down with Dr. Lisha Antiqua, former therapist, founder of Your Own University, and author of six books, to unpack why willpower alone can't rebuild your life after divorce, and why identity is the real key to transformation.
Dr. Lisha shares her "Amazing You Method" and explains how healing became an addiction for so many women, why traditional therapy keeps you dependent, and how to reclaim your sense of self after a marriage ends. If you have ever asked "Who am I now?" after divorce, this episode is for you.
In this conversation:
Why willpower alone can't rebuild your identity after divorce
How "healing" can quietly become a lifestyle you never graduate from
The Amazing You Method and the four elements of identity
Shadow work redefined: why joy is the real shadow
How to rebuild confidence, starting with learning how to fail
The one question to ask yourself today
Links & resources
Free Identity Shift Blueprint from Dr. Lisha: https://lishaantiqua.com/
Your Own University: https://yourownuniversity.com/
Grab the free Phoenix Reset: https://free.silverlinepublishing.cloud/phoenixreset?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes
Join the private Facebook community, Post-Divorce Women: Reclaim, Rebuild & Rise
Ready to rebuild with intention? Apply for a 10-minute Alignment Call: https://app.silverlinepublishing.cloud/widget/bookings/alignment-connect?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes
About the guest, Dr. Lisha Antiqua
Dr. Lisha Antiqua is the founder of Your Own University and the creator of the Amazing YOU Method and the Reclaim Intimacy Method. Awarded America's Premier Expert in Self-Care, she has spent decades studying transpersonal psychology, human behavior, and personal transformation, and is the author of six books. After years as a therapist, and years in therapy herself, she saw the gap no one was naming: healing was never meant to become your identity. Working with thousands of survivors, she found that many women become experts in their own trauma yet still struggle to trust themselves, receive love, or build the life they want. Her work helps women reclaim what trauma took, their voice, value, self-trust, relationships, pleasure, and purpose, and move from surviving into a life they genuinely love. As she puts it, the goal was never to spend your life recovering, it was to become the person trauma tried to prevent you from becoming.
About the host, Trena Briscoe Matthews
Trena Briscoe Matthews is a coach, author, and host of the Wings of a Phoenix Podcast. After more than 20 years at the CIA, including 13 years in executive leadership, and nearly a decade at Cisco Systems, she turned one of the hardest chapters of her own life into her life's mission: helping high-achieving women rebuild with intention after divorce. She is the founder of Silverline Publishing, creator of the Phoenix Protocol, a four-pillar coaching framework for women ready to move from survival to design, and the author of Self-Love for Women and the forthcoming The Phoenix Path.
Chapters / timestamps
0:00 Solo Opening
0:26 Standard Intro
1:08 Meet Dr. Lisha Antiqua
1:34 "The goal was never to spend your life recovering"
1:57 Healing as a lifestyle addiction
2:23 Childhood abuse and the healing system
3:16 Why the healing industry keeps you dependent
5:27 Moving away from traditional therapy
5:58 Why Dr. Lisha never got licensed
7:38 Object Identity Disorder vs. PTSD
9:19 The Amazing You Method & "Into Me See"
12:57 Identity vs. Willpower: the real difference
14:52 You're not lost, you're not chosen
16:40 The four elements of identity
19:36 Shadow work redefined: joy is the real shadow
23:48 Willpower is a myth that keeps you stuck
25:20 Rebuilding confidence after divorce
26:24 Confidence is learning how to fail
