Yay to be Gay - Relationships and more...

About Yay to be Gay - Relationships and more...

“Yay to Be Gay – Relationships and More” is a podcast by Mau and Erwin, husbands of 20+ years. They share real stories, big laughs, and the lessons they never asked for. Throughout different episodes they talk LGBTQI+ life, relationships, culture, getting older, and neurodiversity. It’s honest, joyful and all the messy bits in between. As trained coaches, they explore what it means to love and live on your own terms. “Yay to Be Gay” is for anyone who enjoys truth, humour, and heart.

Publisher

Erwin and Mauricio de Jong Oliveira

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

21 Jan 2026

Latest episode

9 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

16 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   9 Oct 2026

   What Death Can Teach Us About Living

   Death is one of the few things every human being has in common. Yet most of us spend very little time talking about it. In this episode, Mau and Erwin tackle one of the most uncomfortable but important conversations of all: death, grief, loss, regret and what gives life meaning. Drawing inspiration from psychiatrist Irvin Yalom's reflections on mortality, they discuss their own experiences of losing family members, friends and their beloved dog Joey, as well as the fears and realities that come with growing older and loving deeply. They explore why grief isn't limited to death, how loss changes us, what regret can teach us, and why accepting life's impermanence may help us live more fully. This conversation is thoughtful, vulnerable, funny in places, and ultimately a celebration of life itself. In this episode: Death and mortality Grief and healing The loss of loved ones Losing pets and family Regret and acceptance Long-term relationships Ageing and mortality Meaning, purpose and fulfilment Lessons from Irvin Yalom Dedicated to Claudia Powell, whose kindness and impact continue to be remembered. #DeathAndDying #Grief #YayToBeGay #LGBTQPodcast #LoveAndLoss

2. 

   25 Sept 2026

   Getting Older: Wrinkles, Wisdom & Two-Day Hangovers!

   In this episode, Mau and Erwin explore what ageing looks and feels like as gay men navigating their 40s. From grey hair, changing bodies and slower recovery times to watching parents age and confronting deeper questions about mortality, this is an honest conversation about growing older with humour, self-awareness and compassion. They discuss how their relationship with appearance has evolved, why youth is often overvalued in LGBTQ+ spaces, what they've learned from watching their parents grow older, and how age can bring confidence, authenticity and freedom. Because while getting older may come with wrinkles and lower back pain, it can also bring wisdom, acceptance and a deeper appreciation for life. Topics covered: Ageing and body image Hair loss and grey hair Gay culture and youth obsession Family and ageing parents Cosmetic treatments and confidence Self-acceptance Relationships and ageing Midlife reflections Personal growth #YayToBeGay #Ageing #GayMen #LGBTQPodcast #Midlife

3. 

   11 Sept 2026

   21 Years Later: What Really Makes Love Last?

   Welcome to Season 2 of Yay To Be Gay: Relationships and More. As Mau and Erwin approach their 21st wedding anniversary, they're asking a question that many couples wrestle with: What does a successful relationship actually look like? In this candid conversation, they reflect on more than two decades together and explore the habits, values, and choices that have helped their relationship evolve through change, challenge, aging, and growth. They discuss communication, acceptance, friendship, intimacy, individuality, and why successful relationships aren't about perfection. They're about continuing to choose each other, especially when life gets complicated. Along the way, there's plenty of laughter, some relationship truths, and a reminder that every couple gets to define success for themselves. Because maybe the secret isn't finding the perfect relationship. Maybe it's learning how to keep growing together. #YayToBeGay #GayRelationships #RelationshipPodcast #LGBTQPodcast #LongTermLove

4. 

   3 Jul 2026

   Friends for Life, Friends for a Chapter & Friends Who Never Book Dinner

   It is the season one finale, and Erwin and Mau are talking about friendships: the ones that survive distance, the ones that slowly fade, and the chosen family that helps us feel like we belong. In this episode the husbands reflect on over 20 years together, from early London friendships and gay community to moving to the Netherlands, building new connections, and learning that friendship is not always about daily contact but about trust, effort, acceptance, and feeling safe. They explore what makes adult friendships work, why some friendships become one-sided, whether partners can be best friends, and how to know when a friendship no longer fits your life. As always, there is honesty, laughter, a little chaos, and a Yay or Nay game to finish the season properly. #YayToBeGay #LGBTQIA #ChosenFamily #QueerFriendship #GayLife #RelationshipsPodcast #AdultFriendship

5. 

   19 Jun 2026

   Beautiful Stories - Interesting Truths

   What happens when two husbands, married for over 20 years, pull questions from conversation cards and answer them honestly? In this episode, Mau and Erwin talk about the small everyday truths that shape a long-term relationship. It is funny, vulnerable, occasionally chaotic, and full of the kind of relationship honesty that only comes from years of love, eye-rolling, and learning how to stay curious about each other. From asking what we believe in to revisiting the questions we wish we could ask our parents, this conversation is about beautiful stories, difficult truths, and being led by joy. #YayToBeGay #QueerPodcast #GayRelationships #LGBTQStories #GayMarriage #QueerJoy

6. 

   5 Jun 2026

   Arguments: The Good, The Bad & The Petty

   Arguments happen in every relationship but the real question is: what are they trying to say? In this episode, Mauricio and Erwin unpack the good, the bad, and the petty of arguments in long-term relationships. Drawing on more than 20 years together, they talk about conflict styles, unmet expectations, emotional triggers, timing, repair, and the ways arguments can either create distance or deepen connection. They share personal stories, hard-won lessons, and coaching insights on why couples fight, why the same arguments keep returning, and how communication can transform conflict into understanding. From silent treatment and people-pleasing to being right, being heard, and learning when to pause, this is a funny, honest, and thoughtful conversation about love, conflict, and growth. In this episode: Why arguments are often not about the topic Different ways couples argue The role of stress, emotion, and past wounds How unspoken expectations create resentment Why timing matters more than people think What healthy repair can look like A candid episode for anyone navigating relationships, communication, intimacy, and long-term partnership. #RelationshipPodcast #GayRelationships #HealthyConflict #CommunicationMatters #LGBTQPodcast

7. 

   22 May 2026

   Gays getting real

   In this episode, we do something a little different: noscript, no prep, just questions, honesty, laughter, and whatever comes up in the moment. Inspired by connection-based storytelling games, we taketurns asking each other thoughtful, funny, vulnerable, and sometimes spicy questions about our relationship. What follows is a real conversation about affection, intimacy, fear, attraction, queer love, silly arguments, emotionalgrowth, and what 20+ years together has taught us. This episode is playful and unfiltered, but it also gets tothe heart of something bigger: how queer relationships are built, shaped, and reimagined outside traditional expectations. We talk about being loved, feelingchosen, unlearning shame, navigating closeness, and the freedom that can come with designing your own relationship. If you enjoy honest conversations about gay relationships, intimacy, communication, emotional growth, and long-term partnership, this one’s for you. #gaypodcast #queerrelationships #gaymarriage #lgbtqpodcast #queerlove

8. 

   8 May 2026

   SEX! - Everybody does it!

   What happens to intimacy when a relationship lasts long enough to have chapters and inside jokes that need footnotes? In this episode Erwin and Mau talk honestly (and with plenty of humour) about desire, emotional connection, and how intimacy actually changes when you’ve been together for decades not just a few very enthusiastic years. They unpack why talking about intimacy can feel awkward (thanks, upbringing), how culture and shame sneak into our relationships, and why emotional safety often becomes far more attractive than abs over time. From navigating shifting dynamics in their 20s, 30s, and now 40s, to setting boundaries, renegotiating agreements, and learning not to “fix” each other (still working on that), this episode keeps it real. There’s also talk of confidence, wellbeing, jealousy, comparison, and the small, unglamorous but powerful choices that help couples reconnect when life gets busy and energy levels are… selective. The episode wraps up with a playful “Yay or Nay” game — because deep conversations are better when you’re allowed to laugh at yourselves too. Honest, relatable, and refreshingly human, this episode is for anyone in or curious about long‑term love, evolving desire, and relationships that grow up with you. #queerrelationships, #LGBTQ+ podcast, #long‑termlove, #emotionalintimacy, #communication in #relationships, #gaycouples & #relationshipgrowth

9. 

   24 Apr 2026

   Parents: How They Shaped (or Didn’t Shape) Us & Do we owe them anything?

   In this intimate and insightful episode, Erwin and Mau explore how their parents shaped and sometimes failed to shape their identities, emotional needs, and adult relationships. From Mau’s conservative Brazilian upbringing to Erwin’s structured Dutch family life, they reflect on culture, religion, silence, affection, and the complicated path toward self‑acceptance. They discuss: How childhood dynamics influence queer identity The role parents play in coming out Love languages and emotional gaps What they wish their parents had known about raising a gay child How upbringing shapes romantic relationships Whether we owe our parents anything as adults With humour, vulnerability, and honesty, the hosts unpack the lifelong lessons family leaves behind and how queer adults can redefine love, boundaries, and belonging. #LGBTQPodcast #QueerRelationships #ComingOutJourney #FamilyAndIdentity

10. 

    10 Apr 2026

    Hyperfocus, Heart, and Humour: Navigating ADHD in Queer Love

    Mau and Erwin open up about the impact of ADHD on their 20+ year relationship; from Erwin’s late diagnosis to the everyday realities of living, loving, and laughing through neurodiversity. This episode blends vulnerability, humour, and practical wisdom as they explore how ADHD shapes communication, emotional patterns, conflict, creativity, and connection. They discuss the journey through diagnosis, the challenges of hyper focus and emotional overwhelm, and the tools that help them stay grounded as a couple. With honesty and warmth, they reframe ADHD not as a disorder but as a unique operating system that influences how Erwin experiences the world. Featuring their “Yay or Nay” game on ADHD myths, this episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating neurodivergent relationships or wanting to better understand ADHD in adulthood. #ADHD #Neurodiversity #QueerRelationships #LGBTQPodcast #ADHDJourney #GayCouples

11. 

    27 Mar 2026

    Gay Parents, Queer Families & Making Babies: Should We… or Shouldn’t We?

    In this episode, we unpack one of the most emotionally charged questions queer couples face: Do we want children and what does it take to get there? Drawing from their own lived experience, the hosts explore the complexities of queer parenthood, including adoption processes, surrogacy, societal expectations, and the pressure to follow a “traditional” life path. They also highlight the beauty of chosen family, the validity of not wanting children, and the importance of intentionality in queer relationships. This episode is for anyone navigating the crossroads of identity, family, and choice whether you’re considering parenthood, feeling the pressure to decide, or embracing a child‑free life. Topics include: LGBTQIA+ rights to parenthood, adoption challenges and emotional realities, surrogacy considerations, co‑parenting and modern queer family structures, the experiences of children raised by queer parents, financial and emotional readiness & redefining family beyond biology.

12. 

    13 Mar 2026

    From London to Haarlem: Finding Home, Identity & Queer Belonging in Our 40s

    After 18 years in London, we packed up our lives, our marriage, and our pugs — and moved to Haarlem in the Netherlands. In this episode of Yay to Be Gay – Relationships and More, we unpack the emotional, logistical, and deeply personal journey of relocating countries as a queer couple in our 40s. We talk about why we left London, how Brexit shaped our sense of belonging, what it’s really like to integrate into Dutch culture, and how the move transformed our relationship dynamic. From selling our house to navigating Dutch social circles, from losing queer spaces to finding new versions of ourselves; this episode is honest, funny, and full of lessons. Whether you're thinking about moving abroad, curious about expat life, or exploring what “home” means in midlife, this conversation is for you.

13. 

    27 Feb 2026

    Why do people still choose marriage — and what does it really mean once the celebration is over?

    In this candid, funny, and deeply honest episode of Yay to Be Gay – Relationships and More, Erwin and Mau reflect on their own 20-year relationship and the unconventional, practical, and profoundly loving reasons behind their decision to marry. From immigration struggles and cultural misunderstandings to legal protection, emotional commitment, and the quiet work of growing together, they explore what marriage can mean for queer couples today. Along the way, they unpack love and visas, money and communication, weddings that sometimes serve everyone except the couple, and the everyday choices that keep a long-term relationship alive long after romance settles into real life. Blending humour, vulnerability, and coaching insight, this episode invites you to reflect on whether marriage is right for you and how to approach commitment with intention rather than pressure.

14. 

    13 Feb 2026

    Our Love Story – 20 Years and Counting | Gay Couple Storytime, Relationship Lessons & LGBTQ+ Love

    In this episode of Yay To Be Gay – Relationships and More, husbands Erwin and Mau take you on a heartfelt, hilarious, and deeply honest journey through their 20-year love story. From a chance night out on Old Compton Street in 2004, to moving in together just two months later, to navigating cultural differences, money, chores, communication, and life across countries, this episode is a celebration of queer love in all its messy, magical, real-life glory. You’ll hear how a Dutch boy with a mohawk and a Brazilian-Dutch sushi man fell for each other through flirting, chaos, trust, and joy. They share the lessons they’ve learned over two decades: why following joy matters, how humour saves more arguments than perfect communication ever could, and why choosing each other every day is the real love story. Weather you’re LGBTQ+, in a relationship, or simply love a good origin story, this episode will make you laugh, reflect, and remind you what love can look like when it’s real.

15. 

    5 Feb 2026

    Bonus Episode - What happens when two husbands of more than 20 years answer the questions most couples avoid?

    In this intimate bonus episode of Yay to Be Gay – Relationships and More, Erwin and Mau explore a powerful storytelling card experience inspired by the work of Esther Perel opening the door to childhood memories, cultural identity, sexuality, infidelity, loneliness, aging, and the moments that quietly shape a life together. With warmth, humour, and disarming honesty, they reflect on the choices that formed their relationship, the challenges that strengthened their marriage, and the cultural dance of being Dutch and Brazilian in a long-term LGBTQIA+ partnership. This is more than a conversation about trust, communication, body image, and the pressures of gay culture. It’s a conversation about truth, growth, and what it really means to keep choosing each other over time. Tender, revealing, and deeply human, this episode invites you to listen closely and perhaps ask the questions that could change your own relationships.

16. 

    21 Jan 2026

    What does it mean to us?

    In this powerful first episode of Yay to Be Gay –Relationships and More, husbands Mau and Erwin share their personal stories of growing up gay in Brazil and the Netherlands, navigating cultural expectations, coming out, and building a life together. They explore what “Yay to Be Gay” truly means: living authentically, embracing diversity, shaping life on your own terms, and celebrating queer identity beyond stereotypes. From childhood memories and family reactions to relationship insights, neurodiversity, aging, and the ongoing nature of coming out this episode is honest, emotional, funny, and deeply human. This podcast is for anyone interested in real stories about identity, love, resilience, and the beauty of living fully self‑expressed.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

10 ratings

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Guest appearances

Does not typically book guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.