Welcome to You Already Know, the podcast with jokes about news you already know. My name is James Creviston and I am a comedian in Los Angeles. Here are this weeks news jokes.
A giant shark has made waves on TikTok after it was filmed swimming near a ship. After over 37 million views TikTok concluded they’re going to need a bigger server.
Spanish police are investigating the death of a 39-year-old man whose body was found inside a dinosaur statue. It turns out that all the dinosaurs were man-eaters.
New research has suggested that humans could live to 150, which is twice the current average life expectancy. Upon hearing the announcement Congress raised the eligible age to get Social Security to 125.
An Australian man went viral after opening a safe he had found five years ago only to discover that within it, was a single XXX condom... As in a branded condom, from the 2002 movie starring Vin Diesel! Just like the film the condom was considered a waste of a safe space.
Waste heat from data centers and sewage works are set to keep many people warm in Britain. The creator of the technology has used a similar technology to warm his own bed, via farts.
A 2-year-old girl from Los Angeles has become the youngest American member of Mensa. She has already started her own TikTok to capitalize on her new fame.
HBO Max has announced they finally finished filming the FRIENDS reunion show. It runs out that it was the reunion even the friends didn’t want.
These are the jokes for May 31, 2021. I’m James Creviston you can find me on YouTube and this is You Already Know.
24 May 2021
You Already Know - EP 029
Welcome to You Already Know, the podcast with jokes about news you already know. My name is James Creviston and I am a comedian in Los Angeles. Here are this weeks news jokes.
Dunkin Donuts has released a direct-to-consumer paint brand in their iconic colors. Your home can not only look like a Dunkin Donuts but it can smell like a Dunkin Donuts as well with smells like morning breath, B.O. and homeless urine.
Airlines are considering weighing passengers before flights as U.S. obesity rates climb. Airlines said they would change based on weight, emotional baggage will be charged separately.
Kellogg's has announced they are making Cereal Boxes smaller to reduce cardboard use. However the amount of air in the bag will stay the same.
Alabama beachgoers found 31 kilograms of cocaine across a beach in Gulf Shores, worth over $1 million dollars. Beachgoers knew it was cocaine as soon as spring breakers and Wall Street traders descended on the beach.
An alligator reportedly chased several people through a Wendy’s parking lot in Florida. The gator told police it would have stopped had they given his Jr. bacon Cheeseburger back.
Superstar singer and actress Cher turned 75. Sadly she still hasn’t figured out how to “turn back time”.
These are the jokes for May 24, 2021. I’m James Creviston you can find me on YouTube and this is You Already Know.
17 May 2021
You Already Know - EP 028
Welcome to You Already Know, the podcast with jokes about news you already know. My name is James Creviston and I am a comedian in Los Angeles. Here are this weeks news jokes.
Space Force Lieutenant Colonel Matthew Lohmeier was fired after he made comments on a conservative podcast. The comments included praise of Space X, verifying aliens exist, and that Space Force is just a bad show on Netflix.
North Carolina Police solved a rash of crimes after the Thief got a flat tire causing him to be hit by 18-wheeler. Police were happy they only had to semi-solve the crime.
A recent study asked people what animals they thought they could beat in a fight with many overestimating they could take a goose. The results also showed that men thought they could take down gorillas, bears, and their mother in laws. In other news UFC President Dana White has announced his newest fighting league titled the Animal Fighting Championship.
A woman was left dismayed after her neighbor accused her of forcing her son to eat “ethnic food”. When asked what ethnic food her son could have, the woman stated, None, he only eats Pizza Hut, Panda Express, or Taco Bell.
A diver in Australia spotted a fish wearing a gold wedding ring. The diver was excited that he had finally seen a goldfish in the wild.
A new species of dinosaur identified by Mexican paleontologists is believed to have been "very communicative" and used low-frequency sounds like elephants to talk to each other. The dinosaurs were not known to have lived long as they talked so much their social life became extinct.
These are the jokes for May 17, 2021. I’m James Creviston you can find me on YouTube and this is You Already Know.
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