About You Are Not Crazy (Patreon Exclusive Podcast)
This private Patreon feed gives you exclusive episodes, deep-dives, guidance, and real conversation that I don’t share anywhere else. These are the talks that help you put words to the things you lived through — the things most people don't understand unless they've survived it, too.
[PREVIEW] "What If This Time Is Different?” When the Promise to Change Comes Right as You’re Leaving
When you’re close to leaving, the person who has been hurting you often starts promising to change, and the hope you feel in that moment is real. In this episode I talk about why the timing matters. Change that only shows up when someone is afraid of losing you is usually panic, and panic can look a lot like accountability until the crisis passes and the old pattern comes back.
I walk through some of the early signs I see in people stuck in this cycle, like feeling more guilt than joy in the relationship and feeling relief when the other person leaves the house. I also talk about the exhaustion that sets in after years of walking on eggshells, and how numbness and checking out can be your body telling you something you haven’t been able to say yet. I share some of my own experience too, including how my family of origin has always liked me best when I’m quiet, and how that kind of conditioning makes leaving feel like failure.
The question I keep coming back to is whether the motivation is healing or the fear of losing you. Someone who is motivated by healing keeps doing the work long after the crisis is over. I explain why staying usually gets you just enough change to reset the cycle, which is how false hope keeps you tethered. I also talk about DARVO and what it tends to sound like once you start pulling away. I close with the reframe I had to work my way toward myself: if the change is real, it will keep going without you there to hold it together.
If you’re in this place right now, Unhooked, my private podcast series and course on breaking the cycle of abuse, goes through it in more depth. To work with me or find more resources, email me at jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com (mailto:jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com) or see the links below.
7 Oct 2026
[PREVIEW] Their Feelings Can Be Real and the Behavior Can Still Be Manipulative
I've been caught in this question more times than I can count. They cry or rage, then tell you how much they love you, and it all looks completely sincere. Then someone in their family asks, "What if they're just hurting?" and I'd start wondering whether I was the one who lacked empathy.
In this episode I go through the questions I usually get when I explain this to clients. Their emotion can be genuine while the behavior is still manipulative, and I spend most of the episode on the gap between feeling something and taking responsibility for it. I also talk about how their mood ends up setting the terms for your whole day. When I feel myself about to blow up, I own it out loud, and I share what that sounds like.
Near the end I give a few questions to ask in place of "Is this emotion real?" The first one is "What do they do with their emotions?" If this episode hits home, I write about this dynamic regularly on my Substack. Search Jessica Knight Coaching or use the link in the show notes.
22 Sept 2026
[PREVIEW] September Q&A: The Urge to Take the Blame and the Fear That You're the Narcissist
In this episode I answer your September questions. I start with whether it makes sense to go to a partner's siblings about what's happening at home, and I explain triangulation, which is what's going on when a partner calls family after arguments and then tells you they can't stand you. I talk about the urge to take the blame and placate as a fawn response. I also share some ways to ground yourself and buy time before you answer.
I spend a good part of the episode on why you can clearly name the abuse and still wonder whether you're the one being unfair, how self-trust gets worn down over years, and why writing things down helps you hold onto what actually happened. From there I get into the difference between supporting a partner and becoming their therapist, what it's like to be with someone who has BPD traits and a strong abandonment wound, and a few questions to ask yourself when you're unsure whether you're seeing things clearly.
I close with a listener's question about abuse in same-sex relationships and the fear of being the narcissist yourself, and I talk about what to do with anger and resentment that have been building for a long time.
Ask a question for next month here:
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