16 Feb 2022
We must FEEL to HEAL
TRIGGER WARNING: Story of sexual abuse, and suicide attempt in this episode
There are ups and downs and twists and turns…
We are all just making it through life screaming at the top of our lungs “WHAT IS GOING ON?!?”
The thrill is why we keep on living
Most people who feel sucidal isnt because of pain, but its because they are scared of the pain so they have numbed themselves!
So if you feel you have lost the desire to live and are numb I ask you,
1. What are you numbing yourself with?
2. What are you refusing to feel?
3. What are you running from?
YOU CAN NOT HEAL WHAT YOU DO NOT FEEL
You also can not turn off the “bad” emotions
And still feel the “good” it is physically impossible!
I also would like to stop calling them bad because they are not bad!
Emotions we call sad, angery, disapointed, and the lik, are actually emotions I call breakthrough healers, and change cataliysts.
Clinical depression and anxiety are so real and if you are struggling with these
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEE A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR AND PSYCHITRST
It is not weak it is legit the stronest thing you can do! Its kinda like super hero training cause my therapy saved my life and set me on a Path to empower many other peoples lives so they they would do the work to change and save their life too!!!
What has happened to you is not your fault.
But what you are doing now, Is your resposabillity!
How you are treating others is 100% your responsabillity!
Healed people heal people.
Hurt people hurt people.
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When we refuse to heal our hurt, we just move it onto someone else.
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If we do not Feel and do not heal we can not then give healed love.
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You can only give hurt attempts of love.
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If you want to recieve love that is beautiful and that is true, you must first heal the fragmented and failed attemts of love inside of you.
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Because they never leave.
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Your body keeps score, it holds on, and so you have to(get to) reframe them.
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Go back into every moment of pain and sarrow and say where was I safe?
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In every momemt of evil, there is also good!
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In every moment of dispair, there is also hope.
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In every moment of hatred, there is also love.
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In every moment of fear, there is the deepest love.
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We are scared, because we don’t want to loose the things we love.
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But so offten our fear of loosing the love we desire…. Is the very thing that keeps us from ever attaining it.
TRIGGER WARNING: Story of sexual abuse in this episode
These past few months I have been in a cacoon of healing my 5 year old and 8 year old and 13 year old self.
I tried taking my life at 13 after lots of secret sexual abuse from a trusted person outside my family, and I never faced it, at 13 I was druged and raped, and that was something that pushed itself to the surrlface during my early college years and so that was a truama I talked about and I felt as though because I had gone to therapy for that truama and healed from that I would never have to discuss the truama that I faced from 8-13 but feelings demand to be felt and so I got off my soapbox and into my heart.
I climbed into the cacoon of my pain.
I climbed into the cacoon of my sarrow.
I let myself seek answers to evrery question I had ever felt.
About religion, about sexuality, about fear, about love, about family, about future, about past, about spirituality, about woman vs man, about femmine vs masculine.
I opened my eyes to see my pain.
I looked it in the face, I called it by its name.
I shared it with my close family and friends.
I sought new ways to heal:
Bodywork and breathwork
(Thank you @janelle osborne )
Nature ( Thank you @jess and @bc )
