10 Oct 2026
Ep. 105: From rock bottom to 13 years sober - faith, music, & love without hooks w/Ezra Vancil
I'm so excited to introduce you to Ezra Vancil, a singer-songwriter from East Texas whose music has been on repeat for me in coffee shops for the past month!
Ezra grew up in a gospel-singing family, got signed to a record deal as a teenager, and watched the rock n' roll lifestyle eat everything up.
What followed was a decade of alcohol, overmedication, hospital stays, and multiple suicide attempts. Doctors told his wife he'd never be able to function on his own.
Then, waking up on his kitchen floor on Valentine's Day, he prayed, "I don't know who you are. Show me who you are. I'll do absolutely anything." He walked into a recovery group the next day and hasn't had a drink in 13 years.
This conversation goes deep, and I'm so grateful Ezra shared it so openly. We talk about why feeling nothing can be more dangerous than feeling low, how boundaries actually make love possible, and what it means to love someone "without hooks."
We also get into faith beyond doctrine and judgment, and why the most convincing testimony is the life you live. And Ezra closes us out with a live performance of "Thousand Pound Troubles."
Content note: this episode includes discussion of suicide and addiction. If you're struggling, please reach out. In the US, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (https://988lifeline.org/)
In this episode, we cover:
• Signing a record deal from below the poverty line, and losing it all
• Overmedication, numbness, and why feeling nothing is a terrible place to be
• The wave: why you can't have the crest without the trough
• "You can't fix the problem with the problem," and the gratitude walk
• Why relationships take labor, and boundaries help us love
• Getting sober while his wife filed for divorce, and praying for her every day
• Growing up in a cult, becoming an atheist, and finding God again
• "Is it odd or is it God?"
• Letting your life, not your words, show the change
• "Not my ball, not my game" and letting go of judgment
• The story behind "Thousand Pound Troubles"
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Welcome, Ezra Vancil
02:13 Growing up in a musical family
03:45 The record deal and the rock and roll lifestyle
05:26 Losing music, a marriage, and the slide into alcohol
07:26 The darkest decade: hospitals, meds, and suicide attempts
11:05 Hearing your story told back to you
12:03 Overmedication and feeling nothing
14:26 The crest and the trough
18:38 Real positive thinking vs. fluff
20:24 The gratitude walk
24:27 Relationships take labor, and boundaries make love possible
32:09 Two people journeying together
33:45 Getting sober while his marriage fell apart
36:53 Love without hooks
40:56 Growing up in a cult and walking away from God
43:41 The kitchen floor prayer
45:41 13 years sober
49:07 "Is it odd or is it God?"
54:02 The farmer's list, from Ezra's book
58:28 Letting your life show the change
1:03:56 A new album with his daughter
1:07:09 Judgment, humility, and "not my ball, not my game"
1:14:12 How God gave music back
1:18:57 God as the good father
1:20:59 The story behind "Thousand Pound Troubles"
1:22:10 Live performance: "Thousand Pound Troubles"
1:26:02 Closing thoughts
EZRA'S BOOK
Mornings & Midnights: Poetry & Writings, the companion book to Ezra's double album Morning & Midnight (https://ezravancil.com/merch/category/ezra-vancil/sub/morning-midnight)
FOLLOW EZRA VANCIL
Website (https://ezravancil.com/)
Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/artist/53DBJZYKrYOYUGz0co8XLQ)
YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/ezravancil)
Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/ezravancil/)
Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ezravancilmusic/)
SPONSOR
This episode is sponsored by DIVINI, a honey-based sparkling kombucha tea (https://livedivini.com/ ). Use code Breanne10 at checkout for a discount.
FOLLOW ADVENTURES IN ADVERSITY
Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/adventuresinadversitypodcast/)
Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/adventuresinadversitypodcast/)
#sobriety #recovery #faith #mentalhealth #singersongwriter #addictionrecovery #resilience #adversity
