The Ask The Unfaithful Podcast, is a safe place for both Unfaithful and Betrayed Partners to find hope and healing. This podcast draws on both our personal and professional experience to provide expert insight into the mind of the Unfaithful, and how their behaviors traumatically affect the life, heart and even brain plasticity of Betrayed Partners.
Ask the Unfaithful is hosted by two Unfaithfuls in long-term recovery, James and Sam:
Therapist and coach James Annear who co-owns CORE Relationship Recovery with his wife, Sharon Rinearson. They have been helping couples recover from the traumatic impacts of infidelity, sexually compulsive behaviors and addiction for over a decade.
Formerly with Affair Recovery and now host of Sam's Healing Podcast, Sam has been producing videos for almost 10 years and helping to care for those in crisis due to infidelity and addiction for almost 15 years.
Sam and James explore how chasing certainty in betrayal recovery can trap both partners, hindering genuine healing and trust.
22 Oct 2026TRANSCRIPT
DEFENSIVENESS: WHAT ARE THE UNFAITHFUL REALLY DEFENDING WHEN THEY GET DEFENSIVE?
James Annear LMHC and Sam explore the psychological drivers of defensiveness in infidelity recovery, offering insights to interrupt the cycle and foster genuine change.
7 Oct 2026TRANSCRIPT
5 MISTAKES THE UNFAITHFUL MAKE THAT WILL END BETRAYAL RECOVERY
Are you genuinely trying to repair your relationship after infidelity—but still finding that your betrayed partner doesn't feel safe, understood, or supported?
In betrayal recovery, unfaithful partners often make mistakes that seem completely reasonable to you at the time. You want forgiveness. You want trust to return. You want your partner to feel better. And you desperately want some sign that the two of you are moving forward.
But what if some of the things you're doing to help recovery are actually making it harder? And what if you continue these mistakes without learning to do things differently? It could spell the end of recovery for you as a couple.
In this episode of Ask The Unfaithful, James and Sam unpack 5 common rookie mistakes unfaithful partners make after infidelity - including mistakes they both made during their own recoveries.
They explore the crucial difference between relief and repair, why good intentions aren't enough to rebuild emotional safety, and why betrayal recovery requires something very different from simply trying to "get past" what happened.
You'll also hear what it takes to rebuild trust, what authentic remorse actually looks, and why becoming an active participant in your betrayed partner's healing can completely change the recovery process.
The question isn't simply:
"How do we make this pain stop?"
It may be:
"Can I become someone safe enough to walk through this pain with my partner?"
If you're an unfaithful partner trying to rebuild trust after betrayal, this episode will help you recognize where recovery may be getting stuck—and what needs to change.
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📬 Connect With Us:
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Email: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com
Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com
Work with James & Sharon: Info@HopeForUs.com
Work with Sam: SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com
👉 If this episode resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe for more conversations on betrayal trauma, affair recovery, and building trust again.
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Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com
Contact us: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com
🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or email Sam at SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com
📬 Reach out: asktheunfaithful@gmail.com
🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.
Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com
Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast
Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157
Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery
⚠️ Note: This episode is educational, not therapy. Please reach out for professional guidance at AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com to learn more about coaching or intensive options.
Inside a recent episode
IS CHASING CERTAINTY IN BETRAYAL RECOVERY A TRAP?
Published 4 Nov 2026 · Transcript excerpt
[…] To sum it up, recovery does not restore certainty. It develops stability. And stability comes through repeated integrity. The goal isn't to eliminate uncertainty. It's to become someone who functions well within uncertainty. And man, that one right there, betrayed. Make sure you're unfaithful hears this. […]
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