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Ask the Unfaithful

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by James & Sam

5.0(33 reviews)

73 episodes

Updated Daily

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Podcast Authority

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YouTube86

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Podcast Overview

The Ask The Unfaithful Podcast, is a safe place for both Unfaithful and Betrayed Partners to find hope and healing. This podcast draws on both our personal and professional experience to provide expert insight into the mind of the Unfaithful, and how their behaviors traumatically affect the life, heart and even brain plasticity of Betrayed Partners. Ask the Unfaithful is hosted by two Unfaithfuls in long-term recovery, James and Sam: Therapist and coach James Annear who co-owns CORE Relationship Recovery with his wife, Sharon Rinearson. They have been helping couples recover from the traumatic impacts of infidelity, sexually compulsive behaviors and addiction for over a decade. Formerly with Affair Recovery and now host of Sam's Healing Podcast, Sam has been producing videos for almost 10 years and helping to care for those in crisis due to infidelity and addiction for almost 15 years.

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9/20/2024

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GoodBased on show quality, social media presence, reviews, charts, and more

Quality95

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YouTube86

Engagement51

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55 episodes over 1.0 years

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Recent Episodes

May 21, 2026

Episode 69: 10 Hallmarks of Authentic Betrayal Recovery In The Unfaithful

Hosts Sam and James explore ten hallmarks of authentic betrayal recovery, guiding unfaithful partners toward genuine change and helping betrayed partners recognize true transformation.

May 9, 2026

Episode 68: 15 LANGUAGE SHIFTS THE UNFAITHFUL CAN USE TO REBUILD TRUST AFTER BETRAYAL

If you're trying to rebuild trust after betrayal, your words matter more than you think as James and Sam discussed in the previous episode of Ask The Unfaithful. In this episode, Sam and James break down 15 critical language shifts that move the conversation from harmful words that destroy trust to healing phrases that begin to rebuild it. This is not about scripts or saying the "right thing." It's about becoming someone who communicates with ownership, empathy, and emotional presence. After infidelity, betrayed partners aren't just listening to what you say—they're watching for vital change in you. This episode gives you clear, direct examples of: • Harmful phrases that shut down healing (and why they cause more damage) • Healing language that builds safety, trust, and connection • How defensiveness, minimization, and shame show up in communication • What to say when your partner is triggered, angry, or asking the questions repeatedly • How to respond without shutting down, blaming, or avoiding • Real-time tools to catch yourself before you say something harmful • The neuroscience of how healing language actually rewires your brain You'll also learn: • The difference between protecting yourself vs. rebuilding your relationship • How to stay present in hard conversations instead of escaping them • How to repair communication mistakes in real time Core Truth: Every harmful statement protects you. Every healing statement chooses your partner—and the relationship—over your discomfort. This episode is for you if: • You're the unfaithful partner trying to rebuild trust • You struggle with defensiveness, shame, or shutting down • You don't know what to say during hard conversations • You want to stop making things worse and start making real repair 🔑 Key Topics: healing communication after infidelity, rebuilding trust, betrayal trauma, emotional accountability, relationship repair, conflict communication, shame vs guilt, love after betrayal 💬 Please Comment below: How does this episode resonate with you? 📬 Connect With Us: Have a question or a topic you want us to address? Email: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com Work with James & Sharon: Info@HopeForUs.com Work with Sam: <a href= "mailto:SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com">SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com</a> ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com 🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or email Sam at SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com 📬 Reach out: asktheunfaithful@gmail.com 🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast Follow James at LinkedIn: <a href= "https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157">www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157</a> Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

April 24, 2026

Episode 67: IN BETRAYAL RECOVERY, WORDS MATTER - HEALING vs. HARMFUL LANGUAGE

After betrayal, your words are no longer neutral. In this episode of Ask The Unfaithful, we break down the critical difference between healing language and harmful language and why the way you speak can help your betrayed partner heal… or destroy them again. If you're the unfaithful partner trying to repair after infidelity, this conversation will help you understand: • Why one sentence can reset recovery • How harmful language minimizes, deflects, and destabilizes • What healing language actually sounds like in real moments • The hidden drivers behind your words (shame, defensiveness, childhood patterns, nervous system flooding) • How your language answers the question your partner is always asking: "Are you safe now?" Healing language isn't about saying the "right thing"—it's about the language you use that results from becoming someone who can stay present, take ownership, and respond differently under pressure. Because the truth is: 👉 You don't rebuild trust with intentions. 👉 You rebuild trust with patterns. 👉 And your language is one of the clearest patterns your partner sees. This is not surface-level communication advice. This is about identity change, emotional regulation, and relational repair. 🔑 What You'll Learn: • The real impact of harmful language on your betrayed partner • Why unfaithful partners default to defensiveness and shutdown • How healing language creates emotional safety and co-regulation • The difference between self-protection vs partner protection • Why recovery requires learning an entirely new relational "language" 💬 Core Question from This Episode: "Are you still protecting yourself… or are you finally showing up differently?" 🎧 Listen If You're: • Trying to rebuild trust after infidelity • Stuck in repeated arguments that go nowhere • Unsure what to say—or why what you say keeps hurting • A betrayed partner wanting to understand what real change sounds like • A therapist or coach working with betrayal recovery 📬 Connect With Us: Have a question or a topic you want us to address? Email: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com Work with James & Sharon: Info@HopeForUs.com Work with Sam: SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com 👉 If this episode resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe for more conversations on betrayal trauma, affair recovery, and building trust again. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com 🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or email Sam at SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com 📬 Reach out: asktheunfaithful@gmail.com 🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157 Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: <a href= "https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery">www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery</a>

73 total episodes available with 1 transcripts

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Frequently asked questions

Have a different question and can't find the answer you're looking for? Reach out to our support team by sending us an email and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

What is Ask the Unfaithful?: The Ask The Unfaithful Podcast, is a safe place for both Unfaithful and Betrayed Partners to find hope and healing. This podcast draws on both our personal and professional experience to provide expert insight into the mind of the Unfaithful, and how their behaviors traumatically affect the life, heart and even brain plasticity of Betrayed Partners.

Ask the Unfaithful is hosted by two Unfaithfuls in long-term recovery, James and Sam:

Therapist and coach James Annear who co-owns CORE Relationship Recovery with his wife, Sharon Rinearson. They have been helping couples recover from the traumatic impacts of infidelity, sexually compulsive behaviors and addiction for over a decade.

Formerly with Affair Recovery and now host of Sam's Healing Podcast, Sam has been producing videos for almost 10 years and helping to care for those in crisis due to infidelity and addiction for almost 15 years.
How often does this podcast release new episodes?: This podcast updates daily.
Where can I listen to this podcast?: This podcast is available on 6 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
Does this podcast accept guests?: Yes, this podcast regularly features guests.

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