Ayawithin is a podcast hosted by aya shelbs a Clinical Therapist and online leader, where she unapologetically dives into the ugly yet beautiful side of stepping into one's power. Aya is someone that leans into the discomfort of talking about the sh!t no one really wants to talk about. She enjoys diving into taboo topics from sex, plant medicine, self-development, shadow work, heartbreak, or what she's currently going through in her personal life. Nothing is planned to keep it raw and vulnerable. So let's take a deep breath together and dive in.
Most people aren’t stuck because they don’t know what to do…
they’re stuck because their nervous system is addicted to what’s familiar.
Even when it hurts.
Even when it’s clearly not working.
In this episode, Aya talks about the quiet, uncomfortable truth:
we often choose familiar discomfort over unfamiliar freedom… because it feels safer.
But what if the life you actually want requires you to choose differently not because it’s easy, but because it’s aligned?
This conversation explores:
why your body resists change even when your mind is ready
how “the harder path” is often the most honest one
and what it really looks like to choose yourself when it would be easier not to
This isn’t about forcing yourself into suffering.
It’s about recognizing that growth, healing, and freedom will feel hard…
but they won’t cost you your soul.
If you’ve been standing at a crossroads, knowing what you need to do but not doing it…
this is your reminder:
The hard path might just be the one that finally sets you free.
12 Mar 2026
i thought quitting weed would fix my life
For a long time, Aya thought quitting weed would fix her life.
She believed sobriety would bring clarity, motivation, and direction that everything would suddenly make sense.
But six months later, she’s realizing something much deeper happened.
Sobriety didn’t save her.
It forced her to finally meet herself.
In this episode, Aya talks about what it has actually felt like to sit with her emotions without numbing them the grief that shows up in the mornings, the ways she realized she had been disconnected from her body, the fear of being alone with herself, and the realization that she had carried a quiet belief for most of her life that someone else would eventually come save her.
What she’s learning now is that no one is coming and strangely, that realization has been one of the most empowering parts of her healing.
Aya also talks about the surprising part of letting go of an addiction: how the mind often tries to replace it with something else, and why learning to regulate the nervous system and sit with yourself is one of the hardest and most important parts of the healing process.
If you’ve ever felt lost, disconnected, or afraid to sit with your own thoughts, this conversation will resonate deeply.
If you're ready to begin reconnecting with yourself, Aya’s Reset Guide i (https://within.myflodesk.com/xg2p050cim)s available now, and the next Reset Cohort (https://within.myflodesk.com/dka5ycwcb1)will be opening soon.
An ofc my favs 1:1 coaching: https://within.myflodesk.com/t2za2h2ymy (https://within.myflodesk.com/t2za2h2ymy)
18 Feb 2026
why i broke up with MJ (Marijuana) after 10 years
Six months sober. Ten years with marijuana. And one of the hardest years of my life.
In this episode, Aya shares why she chose to break up with MJ after a decade not from shame, fear, or moral superiority, but from a deep desire to meet herself fully sober.
She opens up about living in the Dominican Republic during one of the most emotionally challenging seasons of her life navigating social anxiety, depression, isolation, projection, and being misunderstood in ways that forced her to confront old wounds and attachment patterns. What once felt like regulation slowly revealed itself as avoidance.
This episode explores what happens when you stop using marijuana to cope, numb, or regulate in social environments and what it means to hold yourself through discomfort instead of escaping it. Aya speaks candidly about being labeled “too much,” “too flirty,” and misunderstood, and how sobriety helped her reclaim her self-trust, boundaries, and identity.
She reflects on:
six months of sobriety after 10 years of use
using marijuana to cope with social anxiety and trauma
living in a toxic or misaligned environment
how insecurity in others can distort narratives about you
why discomfort is often the doorway to leveling up
learning emotional regulation without substances
discipline as self-love
and what it means to potentially integrate marijuana intentionally in the future but only from clarity, not dependence
This is not an anti-weed conversation.
It’s a conversation about sovereignty.
About realizing that you are capable of more than you’ve ever allowed yourself to experience and choosing to meet yourself without numbing, without shrinking, and without outsourcing your nervous system.
If you’ve ever wondered who you are without your coping mechanisms - this episode is for you.
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
YouTube views
80,691
Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
26 ratings
Spotify
4.9 / 5
169 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 71 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
55
Social presence
94
YouTube
85
Engagement
84
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