Before it Breaks with Gabriella Pomare

About Before it Breaks with Gabriella Pomare

Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare is a raw and honest relationship podcast about what really happens before love becomes distance, before resentment replaces repair, and before the emotional cracks in a relationship become visible to the outside world. Hosted by Gabriella Pomare, author of The Collaborative Co-Parent, speaker, mother, co-parent and family lawyer, this podcast explores the private relationship patterns people often recognise too late: emotional disconnection, quiet withdrawal, relationship burnout, the mental load, invisible labour, communication breakdown, marriage resentment, intimacy issues, conflict, repair, motherhood, parenting, co-parenting, separation, divorce and the complicated process of rebuilding. Most relationships do not break in one dramatic moment. They begin to fracture much earlier, in the silence after conflict, the repeated “I’m fine,” the missed bids for connection, the conversations that keep getting postponed, the text message that shifts the entire day, the loneliness of lying beside someone and feeling completely alone, and the quiet moment one person slowly stops reaching. Each episode of Before It Breaks looks at the emotional reality of modern relationships and family life. Through conversations with experts, authors, thought leaders, creatives and real voices, Gabriella explores what people wish they had understood earlier — before the distance became normal, before the resentment felt too heavy, before the mental load became unbearable, before the relationship, family or sense of self began to break. This is a podcast for anyone searching for honest conversations about relationships, marriage, emotional disconnection, relationship repair, communication, intimacy, conflict, mental load, motherhood, parenting, co-parenting, blended families, separation, divorce, modern love and what it means to rebuild with more clarity and self-awareness. For the person lying awake next to someone and feeling completely alone. For the mother carrying the whole family in her head. For the partner wondering whether this is just a hard season or the beginning of the end. For the person who feels the relationship has changed, even if nothing obvious has happened. For the parent trying to protect their children from the emotional weight of adult conflict. For the co-parent trying to stay calm in a conversation that still hurts. For anyone navigating love, resentment, repair, grief, parenting, separation, rebuilding or the quiet question: “How did we get here?” Before It Breaks is about the moments people often dismiss, minimise or explain away. The loss of warmth. The absence of repair. The emotional labour no one sees. The small ruptures that build over time. The silence that becomes the relationship. The ways modern life, ambition, motherhood, stress, family expectations, social media, mental load and unresolved hurt can slowly change how people love, communicate and stay connected. It is not just a podcast about endings. It is a podcast about noticing earlier. Before the resentment hardens. Before the silence becomes normal. Before the emotional load becomes too heavy. Before love turns into distance. Before it breaks. This podcast is for general information, education and discussion only and is not legal advice, psychological advice, counselling or therapy.

Publisher

Gabriella Pomare

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

25 Apr 2026

Latest episode

20 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

27 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   20 Oct 2026

   S3 E6: Why Wait Until It's Broken? The Case for Couples Therapy Before a Crisis

   Do you really need to be on the brink of separation before you consider couples therapy? Or could getting help while your relationship is still good be one of the smartest things you ever do? We service our cars, schedule health checks and invest in our careers before something goes wrong. Yet when it comes to our relationships, we often wait until resentment has built, communication has broken down or one partner is already halfway out the door before asking for help. In this solo episode of Before It Breaks, family lawyer, author and relationship commentator Gabriella Pomare challenges the stigma surrounding couples therapy and explores why relationship counselling shouldn't be reserved for marriages in crisis. Drawing on years of experience working with couples navigating separation, Gabriella examines the subtle warning signs of emotional disconnection, the difference between a relationship that's struggling and one that's simply drifting, and why the absence of arguments doesn't always mean everything is okay. From the mental load of parenthood and declining intimacy to recurring arguments, emotional withdrawal and the fear of suggesting therapy, this episode explores what happens when two people become excellent at managing a life together but slowly lose sight of the relationship inside it. In this episode, Gabriella explores: Couples therapy before a crisis: Why preventative relationship counselling can be valuable even when nothing is obviously wrong. The silent drift in long-term relationships: How couples become housemates, co-parents or business partners without noticing their emotional connection fading. Why couples keep having the same arguments: Understanding the deeper patterns behind conflict, criticism, defensiveness and withdrawal. The mental load and relationship resentment: Why arguments about housework, parenting and the dishwasher are rarely just about the practical issue. The pursuer–withdrawer cycle: What happens when one partner needs reassurance and the other needs space. How to suggest couples therapy without blaming your partner: Changing the conversation from “you need fixing” to “our relationship is worth protecting”. Relationship check-ins and communication tools: Five practical ways to strengthen connection, navigate change and repair conflict before resentment takes hold. The central question: Why does the possibility of losing someone sometimes create an urgency that their unhappiness never did? This episode isn't about convincing every couple to go to therapy or suggesting that every relationship should be saved. It's about recognising that love alone doesn't teach us how to communicate, navigate conflict, maintain intimacy or grow together through life's transitions. Because sometimes the most important relationship conversations aren't the ones we have when someone is ready to leave. They're the quieter ones we choose to have years earlier. Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare explores modern relationships, marriage, dating, divorce, communication, parenting and the conversations that can change everything. Follow Gabriella: Instagram @thegabriellapomare Website: www.gabriellapomare.com (http://www.gabriellapomare.com) Newsletter: The Modern Relationship Edit on Substack New episodes of Before It Breaks are available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube and iHeartRadio.

2. 

   13 Oct 2026

   S3 E5: The Truth About Step-Parenting, Exes & Blended Families with Kris Byrnes

   What happens when you fall in love with someone who already has children, an ex-partner and an entire family history that existed long before you arrived? Dating after divorce or separation can be exciting, hopeful and full of possibility, but when children are involved, building a new relationship is rarely as simple as two people falling in love. Suddenly there are co-parenting arrangements, competing loyalties, ex-partners, stepchildren, jealousy, parenting boundaries and difficult conversations about where everybody fits. In Season 3, Episode 6 of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare is joined by Kris Byrnes, step-parent coach, podcast host and stepmother, for an honest conversation about the emotional reality of step-parenting, blended families and finding love again after separation. Drawing on Kris's personal experience as a stepmother and Gabriella's perspective as a family lawyer, they explore the challenges that arise when a new romantic relationship becomes part of an existing family, including the pressure on step-parents to love children as their own, the insecurity that can arise around former partners and the delicate balance between protecting children and prioritising a new relationship. They discuss why step-parenting can feel lonely, how guilt after divorce affects parenting decisions, why children sometimes reject a new partner, and how couples can establish boundaries without creating more conflict. Gabriella and Kris also explore one of the most controversial questions in blended families: when does setting boundaries with an ex-partner cross the line into controlling behaviour, particularly when a child's relationship with their parent begins to suffer? In this episode, you'll discover: What people underestimate about dating someone with children and becoming a step-parent. Why jealousy, resentment and insecurity can arise even in loving blended families. How to establish healthy boundaries with ex-partners while protecting co-parenting relationships. Why step-parents can experience burnout from trying too hard to be accepted. How to navigate discipline, household expectations and the difficult words, “You're not my mum” or “You're not my dad.” Whether children should always come first, and how to protect the couple relationship without making children feel displaced. How to help children feel emotionally secure when a parent begins a new relationship. The difference between healthy co-parenting boundaries and behaviour that may become controlling. Whether you're dating someone with kids, navigating divorce and remarriage, raising children in a blended family, co-parenting with an ex or struggling to find your place as a step-parent, this episode offers an honest look at the conversations that need to happen before resentment and insecurity begin to damage the relationships you're trying to build. About the guest Kris Byrnes is a step-parent coach, stepmother and host of the Our Step Parent Podcast, supporting individuals and couples navigating step-parenting, blended families, boundaries and relationships after separation. Find Kris on Instagram: @stepparentcoach About the host Gabriella Pomare is a family lawyer, author, relationship commentator and host of Before It Breaks, exploring modern love, communication, conflict, separation and the conversations that can change relationships before they break. Follow Gabriella: @thegabriellapomare Website: https://gabriellapomare.com (https://gabriellapomare.com/)

3. 

   6 Oct 2026

   S3 E4: Should I Stay or Leave? The Signs You’re Staying Too Long in a Relationship

   How do you know if your relationship is going through a hard season — or if you’ve simply stayed too long? In Season 3, Episode 4 of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare explores one of the hardest questions people ask themselves inside a struggling relationship: should I stay or should I leave? We hear a lot about people giving up too quickly. About commitment. About doing the work. But there is another side to that conversation: staying long after a relationship has become emotionally disconnected, resentful, lonely or stuck. Gabriella looks at the difference between staying and trying, and why remaining in a relationship is not the same as actively repairing it. This episode explores emotional disconnection, resentment, contempt, loss of attraction, relationship burnout, staying together for the kids, sunk cost, and the quieter signs that can appear long before a relationship officially ends. Gabriella also unpacks her Love, Fear, Guilt or Habit framework — a way of asking what is actually keeping you in the relationship. Are you staying because there is still love and a genuine desire to rebuild? Or because leaving feels too frightening? Are you staying because repair is possible? Or because history, children, guilt or habit make it difficult to imagine another life? At the centre of the episode is one important question: If nothing changed in the next five years, would you still choose this relationship? This is not an episode telling people to stay. It is not an episode telling people to leave. It is about becoming honest enough to understand the difference between a difficult season and a deeper pattern. Plus, Gabriella answers anonymous Dear Gabriella dilemmas and shares a Don’t Do What I Did story about confusing staying with trying. Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare is a podcast about modern love, real relationships and the conversations people often have too late. Instagram: @thegabriellapomare Website: gabriellapomare.com For general information and discussion only. This podcast is not legal advice, psychological advice, counselling or therapy. Chapters: 00:00 Should I Stay or Leave? 03:10 Are We Giving Up Too Soon or Staying Too Long? 07:25 Hard Season or Bigger Pattern? 12:10 Staying Is Not the Same as Trying 16:40 Love, Fear, Guilt or Habit? 21:20 Dear Gabriella: Nothing Is Wrong, But I Feel Nothing 27:15 Resentment, Contempt & Emotional Disconnection 32:05 What If You’ve Lost Attraction? 36:30 Are You Leaving the Relationship or Escaping Your Life? 41:10 Staying Together for the Kids 46:00 Dear Gabriella: I Stayed for the Kids 50:40 The Sunk-Cost Problem 54:20 Don’t Do What I Did 58:10 The Question to Ask Yourself 1:01:30 When Leaving Can Be an Act of Honesty 1:04:00 So, Should You Stay or Leave?

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

13 ratings

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