Educator and bestselling author Dr. Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science. The eight-part series is a modern guide to sexual wellbeing, backed by groundbreaking research about desire, anatomy, orgasm and much more. In conversation with her producer, Mo, Dr. Nagoski debunks cultural myths and flips the script on everything you thought you knew about sex and sexuality. Come As You Are will help you unlock your most pleasurable life, in the bedroom and beyond.
New episodes drop on Wednesdays.
Lead production by Monique LaBorde.
Come As You Are is produced by Pushkin Industries and Madison Wells.
Show art by Sofie Birkin.
To hear episodes a week early and ads free, subscribe to Pushkin+ in Apple Podcasts or at pushkin.fm/plus. (http://pushkin.fm/plus.)
From The Kink Machine: The Hidden Business of Pleasure
Streamed by millions every day, porn is everywhere. It shapes our culture, our relationships, and even technology. Yet, nobody seems to know who really controls the business. The power brokers tend to lurk in the shadows, while their performers remain quite literally exposed.
In Pushkin's new audiobook, The Kink Machine: The Hidden Business of Adult Entertainment, two Financial Times journalists, Patricia Nilsson and Alex Barker, start digging into the porn industry and following where the money flows. Their reporting uncovers a shadowy power structure that includes billionaires, tech geniuses, and the most powerful finance companies in the world.
A gripping exposé of how power operates behind the most taboo corner of the internet, Nilsson and Barker unravel a story about control, influence, and an industry with staggering cultural reach that no one really wants to talk about—until now.
Find The Kink Machine (https://bio.to/KMPushkin) on Audible, Spotify, pushkin.fm, or wherever you get audiobooks.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
2 Dec 2025
How to Experience the Joy of Giving Right Now: A Giving Tuesday Special from The Happiness Lab
According to the science, it really is better to give than receive. Donating a dollar; sharing a kind word or lending someone a hand changes lives, but can also hugely boost your happiness. So we're teaming up with other podcasts from Hidden Brain to Revisionist History to ask you to give to a charity helping some of the poorest people around. We're calling it #PodsFightPoverty.
Go to givedirectly.org/happinesslab (https://www.givedirectly.org/happinesslab2025/) right now and give whatever you can. And the first $500,000 we donate will be matched thanks to our friends at Giving Multiplier (https://givingmultiplier.org/)!
Even a small donation will make you feel good and have a much larger impact on the world than you thought possible. To help inspire you, this special episode examines the science of giving and shares stories of heartwarming and impactful acts of kindness.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
12 Nov 2025
Decoding Cannabis with Dr. Staci Ann Gruber from Decoding Women's Health
Can cannabis really improve your sleep, help regulate your mood, and treat chronic pain? Neuroscientist Dr. Staci Gruber explains how cannabis works in the brain, what the latest research reveals about its therapeutic potential, and how different cannabinoids and delivery methods can make all the difference.
Links to resources mentioned in this episode: Women’s Health Initiative at Mind (WHIM) (https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/science/womens-health-initiative-whi)
Check out Sex Ed with DB on Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-ed-with-db-smart-science-backed-sex-education/id1286811573), Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/6uCAo6v1ioxJzRuiiyw9sB?si=0ace93fab9774989) or wherever you get your podcasts.
Note: In this show, we use “women” as shorthand for people with XX chromosomes. We understand sex and gender are more complex, and acknowledge the experiences we describe reach beyond that word.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
4 Nov 2025
Decoding Genetic Cancer Risk with Dr. Susan Domchek from Decoding Women's Health
For Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Dr. Susan Domchek joins the show to talk about the importance of knowing your genetic history, using genetic testing to understand cancer risk, and what you can do if you learn that you have BRCA gene mutation.
Links to resources mentioned in this episode:
Basser Center for BRCA (https://www.basser.org/)
National Society of Genetic Counselors (https://findageneticcounselor.nsgc.org/?__hstc=11360235.2d21a4bdeabc3c6d59a635c81fe8d5c0.1760737666884.1760737666884.1760737666884.1&__hssc=11360235.1.1760737666884&__hsfp=1958342796&reload=timezone)
National Comprehensive Cancer Network (https://www.nccn.org/)
Note: In this show, we use “women” as shorthand for people with XX chromosomes. We understand sex and gender are more complex, and acknowledge the experiences we describe reach beyond that word.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
7 Oct 2025
From Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Poynor: Decoding Brain Fog
Here’s a preview of a new Pushkin podcast, Decoding Women’s Health. On Decoding Women’s Health, Dr. Elizabeth Poynor makes the science of women’s health accessible—from hormones to metabolism to longevity—so you can thrive at any stage of life. A world-renowned gynecologic oncologist and advanced pelvic surgeon, Dr. Poynor speaks with leading physicians, researchers, and educators to share the latest science on women’s wellness, disease prevention, and what it really means to age on your own terms. Each episode explores a different aspect of how to improve your health during midlife—from heart disease and genetic risks to cognitive health and beyond. Because mid-life isn’t a crisis—it’s an opportunity.In this episode, Dr. Poynor is joined by neuropsychologist Dr. Caroline Gurvich to unpack what’s really happening in the brain during perimenopause and menopause. They explore why more than 60% of women experience cognitive shifts, how estrogen impacts memory and focus, and the roles hormone therapy, lifestyle choices, and even cognitive training can play in keeping your brain sharp.
Find Decoding Women's Health (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/decoding-womens-health-with-dr-elizabeth-poynor/id1839991627) wherever you get podcasts.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
8 Apr 2025
Introducing What We Value: The Neuroscience of Choice and Change
Amid the many competing priorities of our busy lives, it can feel difficult to make the right decisions―ones that feel aligned with the things we care about. Change can feel almost impossible. In the new audiobook, What We Value: The Neuroscience of Choice and Change, award-winning researcher Emily Falk reveals how we can transform our relationship with the daily choices that define our lives by thinking like a neuroscientist about what matters most to us.
Falk shows how we can work more strategically with our brains to make more fulfilling choices. Whether deciding on lunch or a career, changing our routines or other people’s minds, we learn how changing what we think about can change what we think, connecting with our core values can make us less defensive, and broadening our curiosity about different perspectives can seed innovation.
Written for anyone who has ever exasperatedly asked themselves “Why am I doing this?!”, What We Value is a groundbreaking guide to finding new possibilities in our choices—and the lives we ultimately make with them.
Learn more about What We Value at pushkin.fm/audiobooks (http://pushkin.fm/audiobooks), Audible, Spotify, or wherever you get your audiobooks.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
14 Feb 2024
Sex after Heartbreak
Science writer Florence Williams felt blindsided when her twenty-five-year marriage unexpectedly fell apart. Trained as a journalist, Florence set out on an expedition to understand the science of heartbreak and game her way back to health. Enjoy this special excerpt from Florence's audiobook, "Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey", where you'll hear her talk about sex and dating amidst divorce. And if you’re interested in hearing more of her story, download the complete audiobook at pushkin.fm/heartbreak (http://pushkin.fm/heartbreak).
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
14 Feb 2024
You Might Also Like: Broken Record with Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, Bruce Headlam and Justin Richmond
Introducing Heart's Nancy Wilson from Broken Record with Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, Bruce Headlam and Justin Richmond.
Follow the show: Broken Record with Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, Bruce Headlam and Justin Richmond (https://brokenrecordpodcast.com/)
Guitarist and songwriter Nancy Wilson is one half of the rock band Heart, along with her older sister Ann Wilson. Nancy and Ann have been the face of the band since the mid-70s. Heart’s first album, Dreamboat Annie, was released in 1976 right as the band was making traction opening for big acts like Rod Stewart and The Bee Gees. Soon their songs, like “Magic Man” and “Crazy On You,” started to take off in the States, and Heart quickly became a headlining act.
Nearly 50 years since their debut album, Heart has experienced career highs—like a string of chart-topping hits and an induction into the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame—as well as their fair share of personal and professional adversity. Today Ann and Nancy remain steadfast in continuing Heart’s legacy. This month they embarked on a world tour—their first in five years.
To celebrate Ann and Nancy Wilson’s massive contribution to rock n roll history, we will feature conversations with both sisters over the next two weeks. Today we’ll hear Leah Rose talk to Nancy about how the popular drugs of the ‘70s and ‘80s influenced Heart’s sound. She also describes how being accepted by the musicians of Seattle’s grunge scene helped her overcome Heart’s fraught experience recording power ballads in the ‘80s. And she describes the lo-fi setup she used to score the soundtracks of her ex-husband Cameron Crowe’s hit movies: Almost Famous, Vanilla Sky, and Jerry McGuire.
You can hear a playlist of some of our favorite Heart songs HERE (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Px2TFW3OjrB5Z0f2psWhU?si=8a3fa61456074324).
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.
12 Feb 2024
Love Lessons From the "Masters of Relationships" on The Happiness Lab
Some people are just good at building and maintaining healthy partnerships. In their "Love Lab", the married researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman have seen how certain couples interact in ways that mean they'll happily stick together for decades. Enjoy this special episode of The Happiness Lab with Dr Laurie Santos (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/id1474245040).
The Gottmans join Dr Santos to explain what we can learn from these "Masters of Relationships" - so that the stresses and strains of life don't destroy our intimate partnerships.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
28 Dec 2022
The Science of Great Sex in Long-Term Relationships
A listener in his eighties wants to know if there’s an expiration date on his sex life, and how to reconnect in the bedroom with his wife. Luckily, Emily is writing a new book about sex in long-term relationships. She delves deep into what the research reveals about couples who sustain a strong sexual connection over many years. Plus, she shares practical, science-backed sex advice on aging and navigating your changing body.
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
Books mentioned by Emily:
“Magnificent Sex” by Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz (https://bookshop.org/p/books/magnificent-sex-lessons-from-extraordinary-lovers-a-dana-menard/14324686?ean=9780367181376)
“Black Girls Guide to Surviving Menopause” by Omisade Burney-Scott (https://blackgirlsguidetosurvivingmenopause.com)
“What Fresh Hell Is This?” by Heather Corinna (https://heathercorinna.com/project/what-fresh-hell-is-this-perimenopause-menopause-other-indignities-and-you-a-guide/)
“Why Good Sex Matters” by Nan Wise (https://askdoctornan.com/book/)
”Couples Sexuality After 60” by Barry and Emily M (https://bookshop.org/p/books/couple-sexuality-after-60-intimate-pleasurable-and-satisfying-emily-mccarthy/16384748)
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
21 Dec 2022
Consent and "Enthusiastic Maybe"
This week, Emily answers a question from her producer, Mo, about consent. Mo and her girlfriend are considering a new sexual experience but they’re not both an “enthusiastic yes” on the idea. Mo’s girlfriend joins the conversation, and they delve into the idea of “enthusiastic maybe” in consent and how to handle all the comfortable, joyful, and consensual “maybes” that can come up in sex. A heads up before listening: in this conversation, we touch on difficult topics such as coercion and manipulation in sex. If this episode brings up some feelings for you, check out our resources below.
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
“ACE: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society” by Angela Chen (https://www.angelachen.org/ace)
Emily learned the language of “willing consent” from Suzanne Iasenza (https://www.suzanneiasenza.com/)
For more on “human givers” and “human winners” read “Burnout (https://www.burnoutbook.net)”
Emily’s Tiktok (https://www.tiktok.com/@emilynagoski)
Emily’s definition of consent: “Everyone is glad to be there and free to leave with no unwanted consequences. Plus, there is no unwanted pain.”
CONSENT AND SURVIVOR RESOURCES:
RAINN on consent (https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent) and information for sexual assault survivors (https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones)
National Sexual Violence Resource Center (https://www.nsvrc.org/survivors)
Me Too Movement Resource Library (https://metoomvmt.org/explore-healing/resource-library/)
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
14 Dec 2022
Sex Ed from Pop Culture
We switch things up this week as Mo challenges Emily to watch and rate a sex scene from the popular TV show “Ted Lasso." Emily rarely watches sex scenes since they often create the myths she works so hard to dispel, but she agrees to endure this torture for the good of our sex education. The scene prompts a deep conversation about vulnerability in sex, the absolute prison of masculinity, and what the dual control model can teach us about our porn habits.
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
7 Dec 2022
How to Improve Your Orgasms
Emily answers calls from listeners who are struggling with their orgasms, and debunks several myths about where orgasm happens in the body. She also explains how we can train our brains to change our experience of orgasm with some practice… and a little dismantling of the patriarchy.
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
30 Nov 2022
How Desire Actually Works
For some people, sexual desire shows up totally spontaneously and out of the blue. But that’s not the case for this week’s listener, who wants to have sex with their girlfriend, but isn't feeling the same excitement as they did at beginning of the relationship. Emily introduces the science of responsive desire, which is not only totally normal and healthy, but also a more common way of experiencing desire.
You can take Petra Zebroff's Questionnaire for Turn-on Initiation Preferences here. (http://theeroticbrain.com/quiz-test-page/)
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
23 Nov 2022
The Anatomy Lesson You Never Got
A man is embarrassed about his curved penis, and his partner doesn’t know what to say to him because she’s not sure if the curviness is normal. Emily serves up some real talk about sexual anatomy and explains that we all have the same basic genital parts, regardless of the sex we were assigned at birth. Plus, Emily and her producer, Mo, discuss how to combat poisonous cultural messages about what kinds of bodies are "normal."
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
16 Nov 2022
Prelude: Pleasure is The Measure
In this prelude episode, educator and author Dr. Emily Nagoski argues that pleasure is the bedrock of sexual wellbeing. Emily is joined by writer and organizer adrienne maree brown, who offers advice on how to reconnect with pleasure and make it a lifelong practice.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
16 Nov 2022
The Science of Horniness
The pandemic is really killing the mood and making it hard to prioritize pleasure. A listener calls in about losing the motivation to have sex, even with herself. To help answer the listener's question, Emily introduces groundbreaking research known as the "dual control model" and offers a simple but radical shift in the way we think about horniness.
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
SHOW NOTES:
Check out Emily’s free worksheets on her website (https://www.emilynagoski.com/come-as-you-are-worksheets) to start applying the science of the dual control model to your own life.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
2 Nov 2022
Introducing: Come As You Are
Sex educator and bestselling author Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science. Along the way, she busts cultural myths and teaches you what's true with the help of groundbreaking research. Come As You Are will guide you towards a life with more confidence, pleasure, and joy.
Coming November 16 from Pushkin Industries and Madison Wells.
See omnystudio.com/listener (https://omnystudio.com/listener) for privacy information.
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
YouTube views
812,267
Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025
Apple Podcasts (US)
4.5 / 5
371 ratings
Spotify
4.8 / 5
578 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 49 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
21
Social presence
0
YouTube
93
Engagement
97
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Guest appearances
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